I'm at the park right now. I decided not to to do the library today, thinking I'd just grab a blanket and sit out under the sun, and write for half an hour soaking up lithium, but then I saw my three year old nephew running around and I offered to take him with me. So, he's running around the playground, sometimes by himself, sometimes with other kids, having fun, while I sit here and try to write. It's that twin story again--which is now going to be novella-sized at least, since the inciting incident hasn't happened yet and we're three thousand words in.
As I get older, I am more and more distant from my teenaged years, and yet that's what I'm always writing about. This is the story of a teenaged girl (let's say seventeen, since that's the magical age Marty McFly was, and I have a 17-shaped scar on my knee) and her relationship with her sister. It has to be at least somewhat realistic, even though I'm old enough now to have a daughter who's long past her teenaged years. I have this problem often when I'm writing teens (it came up over and over again last summer when I was writing "Hatchling," which I really ought to make a priority to record--as soon as I make room on my one remaining SD card). I don't want to make their dialogue (or thoughts) too adult, and yet I'll be damned if I'm going to stoop to using teenage slang of today, which is way stupider than the things they used to say on "Leave It To Beaver," which struck me as supremely backward and old-fashioned.
I did use a slang term in the dialogue today that made me feel pretty clever, until I realized it was almost twenty years ago I heard a Californian use it, and the teenagers that used it back then have almost surely since died of old age.
When I actually was a teen, I'd chuckle at Stan Lee's use of faux-teen slang (like 'hep cat' and 'BMOC' and groovy) in the comics he'd written in the Sixties (I think he was around my age back then), so maybe I'm like that. But I am what I am, and maybe I should give my niece a copy of my teen-centric stories for her to make notes on . . . which I'll never do, so I guess I'm not so worried about sounding like an old man after all.
Sit-ups In April: 2355
I made two mistakes on my run today. The first was to leave the Autoplay on on YouTube, so that that execrable Old Navy commercial played TWICE, causing me--the second time--to veer right into traffic, praying for a sudden respite.
The other mistake, though, was to leave the Autoplay on on YouTube, so that after the Seth Meyers clips I was listening to ended, a Jimmy Fallon "Tonight Show" monologue came on.
Now, cards on the table, I felt that Fallon (who was a contemporary of mine) was one of THE most talented cast members "Saturday Night Live" ever had, right up there with Tina Fey, Phil Hartman, Kate McKinnon, and of course, Terry Sweeney.* I followed his career with great interest, and was saddened when he broke his contract on SNL to go do movies, thinking TAXI with Queen Latifah would be his big break into movie stardom.
But wow, his "Tonight Show" monologue was bottom of the barrel, with one joke that I'd rate above a one star piece of shit ("From now on, all world leaders should be required to have at least one grandchild present for Zoom calls."**). I understand that comedy is subjective, and that the jokes that I regularly send to Big Anklevich from the Seth Meyers monologue might not even be funny to him, but wow, I don't know that the "Tonight Show" jokes would've cut it for the Jimmy Kimmel show.
I guess that's a pretty harsh thing to say. But then, I was never as handsome, funny, or talented as Fallon was, even at my peak (whenever that might have been). And according to Deadline, his ratings are the highest they've ever been . . . though I can't imagine who watches late night talk shows anymore, since that had been the domain of old people even back in the late Carson and Leno runs. Maybe it's women that watch Fallon, for much the same reason my generation watched "Baywatch."*** Oh, and lesbians are included in that as well, as I suppose they could imagine Jimmy Fallon was Rachel Maddow.
Push-ups Today: 60
Push-ups In April: 2469
Words Today: 985
Words In April: 16,541
*Eddie Murphy, of course, remains the most talented SNL alumnus of all time. Robert Downey Jr. does not count, because he sucked on SNL.
**And that's probably a two star joke.
***I didn't have "Baywatch" for self-pleasure purposes, myself. But I did have "Charles in Charge," thank Buddha.
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