Saturday, April 17, 2021

April Sweeps - Day 441


While you can't make awful, insensitive jokes like this anymore, I just gotta say, that Old Navy commercial with the fudgin' kids on the stairs is slightly worse than the Rape of Nanking.

Only SLIGHTLY, mind you.  I'm not a monster.  Like the makers of that commercial.

I didn't make it to the library at all today.  My Uncle Len was visiting from Vegas and we borrowed a truck and drove around town, with the plans to buy bikes.  But the cheap one I was looking at was sold, and Len ended up buying a nice one with gargantuan (ie cholo) tires.  I rode on it for a bit, and it seemed like it was made for a much bigger person, which is lucky because my uncle is a much bigger person.

My Aunt Blanca asked me if I would get her a DVD a week or so back, because she ordered one off of Amazon, and they sent her a Region 2 version (turns out, the movie she was after is out of print in the U.S., because . . .  well, because nobody buys DVDs anymore, Grandpa).  Then, she asked if it was too much trouble for me to buy her a list of six more movies.  I think it ended up being eight in total, and I ordered them all for her off eBay, and they were really, really cheap, but she wanted to give me ten or fifteen dollars each for them.

I told her she had given me plenty and I hadn't spent all her money yet, but she gave my mom a stack of bills to give to me to cover them.  I wouldn't take it, but she took me aside today and acted hurt that I hadn't taken the money.  That's weird, isn't it?  She said that I was providing her entertainment after her divorce, and she insisted on giving me more, for my time.  I don't really understand that--it took me about half an hour to order the eight movies, and my time ain't worth that.  

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In April: 1633

I watch the clips from Seth Meyers "Late Night" show that are uploaded to YouTube every single day, and I just noticed, more than a year after starting that, that he says, "Uh" many, many, many times in each show, except for when he's reading the cue cards.  It's something that I have done for thirteen years in my podcasting, I cut out a great many of the "ums" and "uhs," both my own, and those of Big Anklevich, Marshal Latham, and whoever else is nearby.

But if I never noticed Seth Meyers doing it, after all this time, I wonder if I might not have been a bit overzealous with my own editing, since it might have been only annoying to me (and noticeable to me).  Hmmm. 

Push-ups Today: 60
Push-ups In April: 1806

One day, about six months ago, I came the closest I ever have to not writing in an entire day.  I can't remember the circumstances--if only I had kept some unnecessary, detailed record--but I went through the whole day, doing other things, and when night came and I was finally free, I just couldn't get myself motivated to write.  Of course, in the end, I did write a little bit, if only because I had to (I'm sure Big Ankylosaur was also writing every day, and often far exceeding my productivity, and that helped).

Today* was very similar.  It's not that I was tremendously busy, but I was working, and then we had a family get-together in honor of my uncle and aunt visiting from Las Vegas, and Uncle Len showed me such attention (which doesn't usually happen with anybody other than Len or my cousin) that I skipped out on the library so we could go places together.  When he moved to Vegas, he had left a couple of bicycles in my mom's storage unit, so we went over there to get them (one was missing the seat, and I have to wonder what became of it--not much fun riding a bike without a seat, unless that's your thing, baby, I ain't judging), went to a couple of stores (I dropped off a package at Fed Ex, but waited so long, their last pickup had passed), then my aunt Virginia offered to buy us frozen yogurt if I could find a place called Yogurtland.**

You do, uh, plan to have yogurt in your Yogurtland cups, right?

I went to that yogurt place when it first opened, but I could never justify the prices, and I still feel weird about it, but since I got way less yogurt than my uncle and aunt did, I guess I can pretend that makes it alright.  Still, when I die, I'm not going to say, "I wish I ate way less frozen yogurt."

Though it's likely I'll say, "I wish I hadn't compared that godawful Old Navy commercial to one of history's greatest atrocities."

Night came quickly.  I sat down to write, and while I can't remember now why, I looked up the causes of conjoined twins, and read an entire article about the various types of conjoined twins (and yes, I also looked up where the term Siamese Twins came from, and why we don't use it anymore), and then I fell asleep, in front of my laptop, only having written a handful of words.

I also hadn't done my push-ups yet, so I went out into the living room and managed a few, then laid there on the floor, and came to the realization that I was falling asleep on the floor, still having unwritten.  I had to ask myself how important it was to me.  And maybe I could catch a quick nap, just half an hour or so, then wake up refreshed, and ready to write.

I dragged myself to my feet, stumbled into my room, where I had set up the microphone to finish my recording of "Dying Is Easy," and thought I could record that, and just use whatever words that totaled, and call it a day.  But I only have eleven minutes' worth of space to record on the device, left over from the night before, and I couldn't get over that.

Have I mentioned I was almost cartoonishly tired?  Well, I was, and I ended up jotting down a few words, then closing my eyes, then trying it again--getting fewer words this time--and closing my eyes again.  I did it three or four times, and then, when I opened my eyes again, it was three-something am, and all I could do was get up, turn out the lights, and say I had done the best I could.

Words Today: 224
Words In April: 11,812

*Okay, cards on the table, I'm writing this bit the next day.

**Do you have a chain called Yogurtland in your city?  Or is it a local thing?

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