Friday, April 13, 2018

Rish Outcast 106: Journey Into Another Promo

So, I have finally published my ridiculous fantasy novella, "Journey Into Another Dimension Through A Portal Near A Truck Stop Restroom." Yeah, it's another one of THOSE stories.

In this episode, I talk about its origin, and why it's okay if you hate it.  Also, I  let down Marshal Latham yet again (in more than one way).

And speaking of let-downs, the next episode (107) is gonna be for Patreon supporters only.  I can't even remember why at this point.

Here's a LINK to Right-Click if you wanna download the episode.

Here's a LINK to the Text Version

And here's the LINK to the Audio version of my tale!

Sunday, April 08, 2018

Eve & Malachi Complete Series Available Over At Audible

Abigail Hilton, ever the workhorse, has finished her seven-volume "Eve & Malachi" children's book series.  Rish Outfield, ever the darkhorse, finished the narrations, and they're available on Audible, dieTunes, and wherever fine audio is sold.

Starting in "Feeding Malachi," these books are about the unlikely friendship of a rat and a boa constrictor, who have adventures and meet interesting new characters on their travels.  Abbie once told me that each book is actually about something, which boggles the mind of a fledgling author like myself.

But here's the rub: If you want to buy them separately . . . you have to wait until later for the individual releases (beyond Books 1 - 3), as she plans to release them along with the always-impressive art.

You can find it right here at this Audible link.

Once again, I don't get diddly if you buy this.  But Abbie does, and hey, somebody ought to reward her for her fine taste in narrators.

Thursday, April 05, 2018

Rish Outcast 105: Why Blank Sucks

This episode is either a PERFECT example of the show, or the WORST one I've ever recorded.  It'll need a judge's ruling to be sure.

So, driving down to a high school get-together, I talk about Star Wars, old friends, frogs, movie reviewers, Ewoks, and misleading/assuming/irritating titles for YouTube videos.

Also, Fake Ahnold tries to get Fake Sean to feel the beat (of the rhythm [of the night]).

Feel you like downloading the episode?  Well, Right-Click HERE.

Episode 107 is going to be a Patreon-Only show, so why don't you go on over to THIS LINK and support me? Just out of curiosity?

As always, thanks to Gino "The Cockatrice" Moretto for the lovely show logo.

P.S.  You know what sucks?  When the text on my blog post is all messed up.  Please let me know (either via Comments or Email) if that happens again.  "WHY Messed Up Text Sucks."

Tuesday, April 03, 2018

Babysitter of the Year

Seems like it's been a while (maybe years) since I did one of these posts.*  But this was so shameful I couldn't not post it.  Even if it makes me look like as terrible a human being as I am.

So, my sister had another baby, and he's quite fun to hang around with, except for when he isn't.  I was taping up some envelopes and he came over to me in his little rolling chair thing (nobody in the family seems to know what to call it, but it's a baby seat with wheels and a tray), and I thought it would be amusing to put a couple of strips of tape on his face and take a picture of his reaction.

Well, he didn't like it.  As soon as I stuck one on, he'd tear it off or thrash about enough that I gave up after a couple of pieces and went back to what I was doing.

A couple of minutes later, the baby started coughing, and my nephew exclaimed, "I think he's choking."  Well, I knew what it had to be.

Sure enough, he had eaten one of the pieces of tape, and we had to fish it out of his mouth with our fingers.

Obviously, I'm a terrible human being, but what makes it worse is that I never did get a good picture out of it.

Rish "Bad Uncle" Outfield

*So long that I can't recall if it was Babysitter of the "Year," "Week," or "Month."

Sunday, April 01, 2018

March in the Rearview

Happy April!

So, I wrote every single day in March, true to my ward.*  Some days I wrote a lot, some days I left it to the end of the night and barely managed, but I managed every day.  Right now, it would be too time-consuming to figure out how many words I wrote in that month, but if I had to guess, I'd say I wrote at least six.  Maybe even seven.  Not bad, eh?

I did not finish my short story ("My Friend of Misery"**), which I split into two short stories, then combined into a novelette, and now a novella.  I can't help but wonder how much more work it would take to make it into a novel, but it's more important to focus on finishing the thing than its length or quality.***

I wrote it without an outline or fixed idea of where it was going.  That might have been a mistake, since I kept writing moments, then going back to earlier in the story to write set-ups for that moment, and jumped around randomly like a Mexican bean throughout.  Not knowing the ending is creepy even now, but hopefully I'll get there soon.  Maybe we'll talk about it again when (if?) I finish, but for now, that's my update.  I still plan on writing in April . . . just better.

Rish "The Writer" Outfield

P.S. The downside of writing every day is that a lot of the time I would have dedicated to my podcast(s) went toward writing instead.  Hence the erratic release schedule of the Outcast this month.  I will try again in April, see if I can't get things out on a more regular basis.

*Dick Grayson, a fine, athletic boy.

**Which I now feel isn't an appropriate title for the thing.  But I have no alternate one in mind.  Even "A Friend of Misery" works better.

***Big did finish his, and kept on writing the next day, which is nice.

Saturday, March 24, 2018

"What is De-Evolution?"

Here is the only souvenir I have from my failed audition for the "Jeopardy!" game show.

Oh, except for shame.  I got to take home two bags of that.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Rish Outcast 104: Library Week

Sorry about the lateness of this episode.  I worked a double-shift one day this week, and every day since I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to catch up.

So, in this episode I'm sharing my now-dated 21st Century story "Library Week." Then I talk a while about how it got so dated so fast.

Warning: The F-word.

Warning 2: Not that F-word.

Warning 3: Two episodes from now is gonna be another Patreon-only show.  Don't let those few listeners suffer alone.

If you absolutely have to download this episode, go ahead and Right-Click HERE.

If you wish to support me on Patreon, you know WHERE TO GO.

If you hate me and my story, you also know WHERE TO GO.

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Rish Outcast 103: What A Stupid Concept

Here's that oft-mentioned "lost" episode from 2015, where I talk a bit about my "Dead & Breakfast" anthology concept, and the first story written for it, "True Ghost Encounter."

Also, it ain't you, it's Loggins.

You wanna download the episode?  Here, Right-Click THIS.

You can find "True Ghost Encounter" at THIS LINK.

Thanks to Gino "The Badger" Moretto for the lovely logo.

Writing Update

Or more like, "Shite-ing Update," am I right, kids?

In my case, I think I'm pretty right.

So, the deadline for Big and I to swap stories was last night at midnight (my time, why not add an extra hour there), and my story is in no condition to be read, podcast, or even burned. Over the last week, I forced myself to go to the library four times--technically, five (since I once left to pick up my nephew, then brought him back to the library with me)--even if I didn't have my craptop with me. What I would do was jet on over there, if I only had a half hour free, and perch myself in front of one of their library computers, fire up Word, and type until it was time to go. No checking email, no surfing the internet, no pictures of Jodie Foster glaring angrily at men and/or superhero movies, just focus on writing.

And it pretty much worked. Once my time was done, I'd start up gmail, and I'd send the day's work to my Inbox. And there it all stays, in fits and starts, along with the stuff I wrote on my craptop, and worse, in my notebook. Because Big had set a deadline, then extended it two days, I had plenty of time to write a short story, and the day before it was due, I forced myself to do the above, and achieved an impressive number of words, the last two of those being "the end."

But "the end" was a lie, just like the byline. I think "Arthur Terwilliger Jr." is not going to cut it as a pseudonym.

For my story, which is a bit like the Lara and the Witch ones, but with a brother and sister, is shaping up to be a Hefty bag full of words, a novelette if I'm lucky, a novella if I ain't. Never a novel, though, 'cause that would swing around to being lucky again.

The Metallica song that inspired it is called "My Friend of Misery," and any connection to that song has fled along with my inspiration. But there comes a point in the story, where there's a sort of ending, and then the tale jumps forward in time, so I felt like I could get away with putting a "the end" there, send the story to Big, and keep writing every day until the rest of the tale is written. It's a bit of a cheat, but just a bit.

In other news, I just completed another story for "Pseudopd," and a podcast that severed all association with us several years ago asked me to do a narration. It was difficult enough I had to stop narrating and read the story through to the end. Hey, I get to be an editor again! The thing had a great idea, but needed a polish, as the punctuation was all wrong (and sometimes absent), and there were two occasions when one of the male characters was referred to as "she" or "her," and I realized with horror that, being a disgusting man, I had ASSUMED the characters were male and they'd been female all along. Whoops. But a moment later, the pronouns became masculine again and I realized that the author had just made a mistake. Then there were a couple of lines of dialogue with no attribution, and worse, one that was attributed wrong. I had to make an executive decision and omit one sentence (since the thing that character said was not included), and rearrange one paragraph so it made sense (I think it had been rearranged by accident anyway). Normally, it doesn't take long to do a narration, but this one took me until the wee hours of the night. And if I did my job right, you'll never know. Yay.

So, that brings me back to my own story, and the reason for writing all this. I didn't make my deadline, and sent Big nothing. Even worse, I persuaded him to give me a couple more days to organize everything, during which I secretly hoped to make my story--written under duress and without much help from the muse--feel like one of my better works. A monumental task, let me tell you.

On the bright side, I wrote every day this month so far. Except today, since this doesn't count.

Rish Outfield, Writer on the Storm

Sunday, March 04, 2018

It's Oscar Night(!)

"Hey, I sure appreciate y'all letting me come over and watch with you," my coworker Tobin said, sitting down on the couch to my left. 
"No problem," I told him, passing the pretzels. "We love the Academy Awards in this house. Angie always likes the dresses, I like the pomp and reverence, the kids like the film clips, we all pretty much cry during the In Memorium. And nobody else in the neighborhood cares about them."
"That's right," my wife said from my right. "There's always a barbecue  on the street for the Super Bowl, for the Playoffs, every time Trump tweets something awful, the World Series. But not the Oscars."
"It's a special night for me too, every year," Tobin said. "So, thanks for making me feel at home."
On the television, Jimmy Kimmel was just starting his monologue when Tobin muttered something under his breath.
"What was that?" I asked, sure I had heard him wrong.
"If Get Out don't win Best Picture, I'm gonna murder the whole lot of you," he repeated.
Oh. That's what I thought he had said.
He passed the pretzels on to my wife.