February Sweeps - Day 376

Hi, I'm Rish Outfield.  I write stories about monsters.

I have a couple of themes that pop up again and again in my stories.  And one of the big ones is that I love to write about creatures that pass as human or ALMOST pass as human.  It brings me joy.  Not a great deal in life brings me joy.

Luckily, Coke Zero is on the short list for me.  I haven't drank a regular Pepsi or Cherry Coke in 2021, and you'd think losing yet another thing that shines light into the darkness of my life would be disheartening, but it ain't bad at all.  Hopefully, on the day (soon) that I stop writing every day, I can find the remaining 244 episodes of "Modern Family" to be a decent substitute.

Exercise has become part of my daily routine, and yet, when I look at the way people online exercise, I worry that I hardly do it all (or that my own small exercise regimen isn't remotely effective).  Big told me that sprinting for a short distance is supposed to be better exercise than jogging for a long distance.  I could try that sometime.  Also, I used to go up and down the steep concrete stairs at the park half a mile from my place (I was reading my blog post from a year ago, and it said I did the stairs then), and I remember how much that took out of me in a very short investment of time.  Maybe I should try that again too.

Push-ups Today: 60
Push-ups In February: 1055

So, last night I sat down around one am, meaning to record my story "The Waffle Iron Man."  But I started thinking about the title, and I never got to it.  It's that title.  I realize it's bad, but I'm unsure exactly how bad.

Originally, the story was about Siren Head, a stupid-sounding internet Creepypasta that turns out to be real.  But halfway through it, after doing research on where Siren Head came from (and how bloody recent that all was), I decided to make up my own cheap knock-off, so that I could tell my tale the way I wanted to, without having to worry about the REAL Siren Head and his legions of devotees being upset about the liberties I'd taken, and angrily storming the capital once again.

So, Waffle Iron Man was born--a skeleton with a head that looked like an open waffle iron.  Yeah, it's stupid, but not much more so than a flying spaghetti monster or a burning bush.  But I did consider changing the title to something else.  I even went on my Patreon to ask them to vote on it.  Here are the options:

1.  Call it "Waffle Iron Man." It's fine.

2.  Call it "Wa-Ir-Ma." (one of the characters shortens it to WaIrMa in the story)

3.  Call it "The Waffle Truth." (I really wanted to come up with a clever play on "awful," but there aren't a lot of sayings with "awful" in them)

4. Call It "Don't You Believe It."  (there was a popular radio show called that in the Nineteen Thirties, and it showed up in cartoons from the forties as a sort of punchline I never understood, but it works in the context of . . . oh wait.  It works in the context of my story "podcatcher," which is as similar to "Waffle Iron Man" as STAR WARS is to THE HIDDEN FORTRESS.*  So, never mind about "Don't You Believe It," which I had almost convinced myself was a superior substitute.  Damn)

5.  Call it "Face Like A Waffle Iron."  (this one was never really in the running, except I did write it as an alternate title back in September when I wrote the story)

6.  Jesus, Rish, don't ask us--just call it what you want to, ignoring your crippling fear of what the bastards might say. Why don't you grow a backbone for once in your miserable life, you revolting puddle of iguana droppings?  (Patreon wouldn't let me write this much as a poll option, which pretty much ruined the point I was trying to make in the last option.  But maybe it wouldn't have been that amusing if it had)

Regardless, I didn't get the story recorded today either.  Although I did finish editing another story for a collection (either Volume 4 or 5 of my audio fiction), and I thought it turned out well.

Sit-up Today: 100
Sit-ups In February: 1273

I came to the library and the second I sat down, the man across from me gathered up his computer, his phone, bag, and water bottle, and left.  He went two more rows over and set his stuff up again.  Maybe I need to shower more than once a day, huh?

The deaf guy is sitting one row away.  I'm not complaining about him, but he sometimes makes sounds that I'm sure he's unaware he's making.  Last week, it was an upsetting series of grunts.  Today, it's a high-pitched Oooooo that sounds like what the ghost of a child sounds like when he can't find his mother (who died in 1961, fourteen years after he himself died).  It's mildly upsetting.**

I haven't written any words yet.  Maybe I won't.  I did glance over and the guy that was sitting next to me is watching a movie over at a table with no one else on it.  Maybe the problem wasn't that I don't know how to wipe myself properly, but the guy just didn't want to be around any other people while he watched his pegging video.  I can understand that.

Words Today: 1027
Words In February: 8146

*This is just me being an a-hole.  STAR WARS and THE HIDDEN FORTRESS are nothing alike, despite people always saying one is a remake of the other.  Superman was heavily influenced by the Bible story of Moses, but you never hear people say SUPERMAN '78 was a remake of THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

**And yet the guy across from me left my row and relocated to CLOSER to the ghost sounds.  Go figure.