Music Muse

I've been having difficulty finding a good radio station lately. When I first moved to Los Angeles, I was appalled to find the bottom-of-the-barrel level of music on the FM dial there. If you didn't love Hip-Hop and/or speak Spanish, you were fooked. I guess I was spoiled, having several competing popular music stations, Country, Oldies, Soft Rock, Metal, college stations, even a high school station (where the students were absolutely forbidden to speak--how cool is that?), but the only thing that was worth listening to in L.A. was their Country station. Sad, but true.*

So, I've been trying to find a station that works for me. The "Rock Alternative" station I listened to growing up has become a sort of Alternative Top 40 channel, playing the same Jack Johnson and Owl City track over and over. Jeff told me just to abandon radio and listen to mp3s, like he does, but I've got this pathetic need to discover new songs, new artists, and find out what everyone else likes, just so I can pretend to be their equals.

I don't listen to much radio really, just for an hour from when my alarm goes off in the morning (or "morning" for people like Abbie and Jeff) until it automatically shuts off. I decided to check out the local vanilla pop station ("We play the best of the Eighties, Nineties, Unnamed Decade, and today!"), figuring that would give me a variety of new hits and popular older songs. But I found that was not the case.

On Monday, I was dismayed to hear a certain song--

If you know me socially (and that rules out all but, what, three people?) you know I absolutely loathe the "If you like it then you should've put a ring on it" song that is inexplicably popular this and last year.**

--by Beyonce and I shuddered and spasmed until it was over, then tried to go on with my morning. But I eventually recovered.

The next day, however, I was awakened to the radio, and to my horror, the friggin Beyonce song ("All the single ladies, all the single ladies") started up again. I was so upset, I actually got up instead of hitting Snooze. How, on a station with, let's say three hundred songs in its rotation (maybe more), could I hear the same song in the same hour in two consecutive days? Heck, even if they only had fifty songs in their rotation, I shouldn't hear the same one in two hours.

Jeff and I got together to eat (we still enjoy these things call the Big Carl sandwich at Carl's Junior, even though my doctor now says I have to shave a full year off my projected lifespan for each one I eat) and I complained to him about it. He told me I shouldn't be listening to the radio at all, and should get one of those nifty cochlear downloaders to store and hear music like he does. I told him I would give the radio station the benefit of the doubt, but if I heard that song once more in my one hour window that week, they were gone.

He also told me he kind of likes that "shoulda put a ring on it" song, but I won't betray his confidence like that.

Well, Thursday was good, meaning we had a two day period where the song didn't play in the tenleven o'clock hour, but Friday, wouldn't you know . . .

"*All you single ladies, allyousingleladies*"

I said a word so vile it made tears come to Hit-Girl's eyes, and slammed my hand down on the radio, as I am wont to do.

My hunt for a decent radio station continues.

Rish "Casey Kasem" Outfield

*Eventually, I tired of Country, or outgrew it, or realized its limitations (a long story), and discovered talk radio, but that's neither there nor here.

**But hey, I never got how Mariah Carey could have more number ones than the Beatles, Elvis, Madonna, and Stephen "Tin Tin" Duffy combined, so I must not be in the target demo.