Saturday, March 08, 2008

Bottom Five Animated Disneys

I was at Merrill's place the other night, and as he is very passionate about animated films, we talked about the successes and failures Disney had over the years with their feature animations. During the conversation, THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE and--shudder--HOME ON THE RANGE were mentioned. Followed by a bit of profanity.

Then his wife joined the conversation and mentioned that she hates THE LION KING (or at least that it's terribly overrated). That prompted me to write a few folks (including a couple who've never contributed to one of these before) asking what their Bottom Five (in other words, five least-favorite) Disney Animated Films were.

I was going to define them (wondering if, for example, PETE'S DRAGON and THE THREE CABALLEROS count), but then I thought I'd just leave people to pick whatever they wanted, as long as they chose traditionally animated films, not computer-generated ones. In other words, even MARY POPPINS counts (though no one would ever list that), but not CHICKEN LITTLE.

Almost immediately after, Jeff the Sex Chemist sent back his list, filled with even more profanity (and some nice vulgarity) than Merrill and I had used. Gor bless 'em.

5) Home on range. Roseanne Barr. 'nuf said. - never saw it.
4) Brother Bear. A PC homage to our native american people. I saw this. Not actually horrible, just very annoying.
3) Atlantis. Not quite annoying, but I just couldn't care.
2) Fantasia 2000. Never saw it,but just looked annoying. Partly because o my #1 choice:
1) Fantasia. I've never done acid, but this movie strikes me like what a bad trip would be like. Visually interesting, but irritating in many scenes (dancing hippoes, anyone?) And wizard mickey, while a cool scene and neat idea, was just an annoying idiot. "dude, where's my broom"

Tyranist gave me his list next. It shocked me to see his number four, but he's been complaining about that movie for as long as I've known him.

1. Home on the Range
2. Oliver & Company
3. Dumbo
4. The Little Mermaid
5. Bambi

Merrill sent in his list with absolutely zero commentary. I'm not sure why.

1. Atlantis
2. Treasure Planet
3. The Black Cauldron
4. Brother Bear
5. Fox And The Hound

Prison Guard Johnny kept with the amusing numbering system from the last Bottom Five list, and gave me:

312. Home on the Range
311. Fantasia 2000
310. Brother Bear
309. The Fox and the Hound
308. The Hunchback of Notre Dame

So, before I got too bogged down by all the negativity, I had to make my own list.

1. HOME ON THE RANGE (not only the worst Disney animated film ever, but right up there with those turds the no-name studios would churn out to rip off whatever big Disney animated film was about to come out with)
2. FANTASIA (God bless Mickey Mouse, I know the song, but man, this is the dullest cartoon ever)
4. THE RETURN OF JAFAR (I don't know if this counts, and I'll probably be the only one to list it, but hey, I'm fine with that)
5. I'd put down TARZAN, but I really liked a couple of the Phil Collins songs. And I'd list LILO & STITCH, but I know there's a more worthy candidate. I guess I'm going to put down ALICE IN WONDERLAND. Mostly 'cause I'm not a big proponent of heavy drug use (moderate is okay, but this . . .).

Brenda (who is a Disney animated character herself), had these picks:
1. Fantasia (sorry, I am probably disappointing some gay people out there somewhere...not saying you're gay)
2. The Aristiocats. I just couldn't stay awake.
3. Robin Hood.
4. Hunchback of Notre Dame. I cried and cried in the one made for TV around 1982.
5. Oliver and Company.

My cousin Ryan sent this list (which gives me pause):
1. Mary Poppins
2. Lady and the Tramp
3. Aristocats
4. Oliver & Company
5. 101 Dalmatians

Katie Who Sees Ghosts was kind enough to reply. Her list:

1. Pete's Dragon
2. Atlantis
3. Treasure Planet
4. Rescuers
5. Goofy Movies 1&'s a tie, they are both totally stupid

I waited a long while for Beta Ray Charles to get back to me on this one. Turns out my request went to his "Spam" folder. Makes me feel all warm inside.

5. Aristocats
4. Fantasia
3. Dumbo
2. Brother Bear
1. Pocahontas

So, the "winners this go-round are:
1. FANTASIA (especially if you factor in votes for FANTASIA 2000)
2. HOME ON THE RANGE (actually a tie, if 2000 doesn't count)
5. FANTASIA 2000 (if you count it as an independent movie from FANTASIA)

I'm sure Uncle Walt would be happy to read this one if they thawed him out today. Well, that would be after he asked where the rest of his body went.

Rish "Traditionally Animated" Outfield

1 comment:

ryanlb said...

To be clear, I'm not sure I've ever seen Fantasia, so it wouldn't be fair to list that, and I know I've never seen Home on the Range or Brother Bear.