Goals For 2022 - August Update

I have not been nearly as good at keeping track of these goals this year as I did last or in 2020, but let's check in and see how I'm doing.

1.  Go on one hike a month.  I'm not sure I did a hike in June (I'm thinking back, and I dunno), but I did in July and I just did in August as well.  I'm not going to say I've blown this--though I probably have--but I'll keep trying to remember).

2.  Insert "Joanie Loves Chachi" reference into at least two stories.
I did once, then promptly forgot about it.  Maybe I can stick one in the dishwasher story (I threw in a random line about Ronnie Milsap the other day, then wasted twenty minutes reading about his life and career . . . that could easily have been Joanie/Chachi).

3.  Start up "Twilight Groan" again with Cathexis, at least four episodes.
This would have happened if it was going to happen.  My niece did bring her laptop over, though, and I saw it had a Rod Serling sticker on the front, so that's something.

4.  Plot out and start writing the third "Calling" story (and finish it?).
I still WANT to do this, but haven't gotten to it.

5.  Finish recording and publish "Hatchling."  
This is out, thank Buddha.*

6.  Put out Christmas collection I was supposed to put out in 2020.
I did edit another of those audio stories a month or three back, but soon it'll be time to start thinking about this again (especially if Big puts out his X-mas collection).

7.   Put out Audio collection I was supposed to put out in 2019.  This got done.  Now I need to start on Volume 5.

8.  Buy no more Transformers.  Darn, I was doing so well.  I bought one for Big Anklevich early in the year (never sent it to him, though, so I suppose I could return it), but then I bought two in August because they were supposedly rare.  Sorry.

9.  Finish "Balms & Sears" . . . in first quarter of 2022.
Well, that was just a stupid goal, because even if I finish it now (which I still haven't), I can't count it as succeeding at the first quarter part.

10.  Put out 10-12 Podcasts That Dare Not Speak Their Name.
I'm on track (I've got five so far, and am nearly done with the next one).  The most current one I'm editing had a recording of, get this: two and a half hours.  So I think we're going to get my first two-part Podcast That Dares.  Maybe I'll schedule them to drop in October/November, when I'm gone.

11.  Get Marvel Universe figures out of storage and get rid of them.
Done (though it doesn't matter, because they were already gone).

12.  Put out "Dead & Breakfast" collection 1.
What?  That?  It is something I could do, but where do I end it?  Should I just put out the stories that I have recorded and edited, and call that Volume One?  It would be the least work for me.

13.  Run on treadmill once a week.
Oh, balls.  Nope.  But I did get the exercise bike, and I've used that once a week.  I'm going to switch it up.

14.  Put out "Caller I.D." on the Outcast . . . birthday week?
That was done, though not quite on time.

15.  Finish Outpost Outbreak novel.
I don't even remember what that is.  I'm sure I wrote on it in January or February.

16.  Read another really great book.
I'm currently reading "The Bear and the Dragon" by Tom Clancy.  Maybe that will count.

*Or Bossk.  He had the same level of involvement.

8-18

I got some audio editing done today, but wow, my body simply did not WANT to be there, sitting, doing audio editing.  What's worse was, I found a couple of errors in the recording (including two or three--or five--spots where there was feedback in the microphone), but I couldn't simply run over and re-record those bits . . . I have to wait until I get home, then do so, and hope my performance matches (and I can find where to put them all).  

For my movie from the library this week (it was from two weeks ago, actually, as I forgot to get one this week, and had to return two the last time I went over), was 2020's LAST CHRISTMAS.  I hadn't heard anything about this one, except that it stars Emilia Clarke and Henry Golding.  But wow.  It was directed by Paul Feig, who did BRIDESMAIDS, but also did the GHOSTBUSTERS remake*, and it had the well, daring audacity/poor taste of featuring George Michael songs all throughout the picture. 

It's about this girl Kate who is described as the most selfish woman in the world, who works in an all-year Christmas shop, and meets this dude named Tom who is a manic pixie dream boy, but pops in and out of her life like he's on furlough from the military or a nearby prison.  But he teaches her to care about others, and be less self-centered, I guess, and dude, the George Michael songs . . . you don't know how many times I had to pause the movie, get up, and go do some more editing, write in my blog, or simply sit on the toilet as a release from it.

I had to stop watching for a good hour after the "Dawson's Creek" moment, where the male lead tells the girl he has something to tell her, and she jumps to conclusions, accuses him of being afraid of commitment, and walks off, and he just stands there, shaking his head, letting her go, even though she's wrong.  If there's a person alive who hates that trope more than me, I will gladly give them my heart this Christmas.

By this point, I considered just quitting on the movie, because I recognized that it wasn't working, and there had been times when I thought, "Oh, this is just bad."  Took me probably four hours to watch a ninety minute movie.  And then, we get to the Shyamalan moment . . . and yikes, that just fell flat too.  I reeled, because it was almost shockingly bad.  Except that, I'd say, about a quarter to a third of the movie DID work, and had nice character moments from Michelle Yeoh and Emma Thompson, but man, the rest . . .

I'm not entirely regretful that I watched it.  Clarke is super pretty throughout most of it (I feel like they tried to plain her up from time to time, to mixed results), and I do like George Michael (or I did, before watching this).  You know what it felt like?  From time to time I will encounter these people who absolutely loathe LOVE, ACTUALLY.  They hate it, and consider it one of the worst flicks of the 21st Century.  And LAST XMAS is as if a group of those haters got together and decided to make a film parodying LOVE, ACTUALLY, only deliberately making it bad.  Except they were going off of a script by somebody who wasn't in on the joke, who had written something sincere and heartfelt, who ended up throwing themselves off a bridge the night of the premiere.  But hey, that's just me.

Or is it?  I can't wait to get back home and find out what kind of Rotten Tomatoes score this flick got.  If I had to guess, I'd say about a 34%.  We'll see.**

I did some editing, grabbed my exercise bike and went for it, riding a little over two miles, read a chapter of the Houdini book I'm nearly done with (it's not very good, but I still would love to see a movie about his friendship [and the falling out] with Arthur Conan Doyle one day), and then I started packing up.  If I leave now, it'll be nearly an hour earlier than last week.  Huh.

I wonder, the next time I hear Wham's Last Christmas, if I will remember this movie, and if I'll be tempted to turn it off.  Or simply shudder and go on with my day.

Arcove or Exercise: Both

*Hitler on a Hitachi, I hate it when people call remakes "reboots."  I hate it . . . so much.  Except GHOSTBUSTERS 2014 probably was a reboot, as they were starting a successful series over again, but still.

**Whoops, it got a 46%.  Guess more people enjoyed it than I thought.

8-17

 8-17

Something that has been a tradition for me since 2020 or so is to drive to the dam and take a look at my texts and email, after having run the length of it and back, of course.  Today marks the first time (except the time it was pouring rain) where I'm considering not going.  I just have so much editing to do (halfway through an "Arcove's Bright Side" chapter, I realized I had opened TWO chapters at the same time, and was pasting the edited bits into the wrong chapter.  Whoops), and wasted a full hour reading a 1966 horror story with two British accents and an Italian one (which struck me as particularly bothersome when she winds up speaking Spanish at the end.  Whoops again), which I probably will never use.  

And now the sun's getting real low, Big Guy, and I can't decide what to do.  I have my exercise bike, if I want to get some exercise, but . . . ah okay, I guess I'll go, if only to run and ask Marshal if he wants to watch VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND MONKEYS with me.

I got this idea tonight, sort of a Hallmark Bullshit Of The Week movie idea, where these people all get off a bus in a little, isolated, idyllic town, and find themselves . . . well, who gives a bung what brought them there (job offer?  Mysterious letter?  AIDS?), but they find themselves . . . running into someone who is perfect for them, and start falling in love, like it's the bleedin' Love Boat, only docked in an out-of-the-way village.  Let's say there are, I dunno, eight people, and each one just happens to pair off with someone from their group.  It's so wonderful, just imagine it for a moment--I like you, you like me, and neither of us can think of a single reason why we shouldn't be together . . . and is that music playing somewhere?  Smooch, smooch, I am so happy, Arthur, and finally my life is complete, Jessica.  But wait a minute, what are the chances that each of us, three men and five women ('cause you gotta have lesbians, kids, to keep this off my mom's television set), all happened to fall for somebody who got off that bus on Friday?  And nobody's lonely, nobody's unwanted, nobody's going to bed with blue, swollen gonads.  Isn't that awfully convenient?  Like, suspiciously so?

If I were a real writer (I say all the time, and will continue to say, just try to stop me), I would call the story "Some Enchanted Evening" (or, if I were really good at my job, "You Will Meet A Stranger"), and get to work on it soon, so I could have it out for Valentine's Day.*  I ended up writing 1260 words on it, fairly late at night.

Arcove or Exercise: Both (and Writing)

*By the way, I hope to die on February 14th one day.  Because f**k Valentine's Day.

8-16

The month is half over already.  Welcome to Hell, kids.

I finished the book I was reading and started on a new book, "Straight Man" by Richard Russo, which I grabbed from the library because I heard AMC is making a show out of it next year with Bob Odenkirk.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Wolfgang Petersen died today.  He directed AIR FORCE ONE, DAS BOOT, OUTBREAK, and one of my childhood favorites, ENEMY MINE.*  For years, he had been attached to an adaptation of "Old Man's War" by John Scalzi.  But that's not going to happen now.

Today, my fourteen year old nephew was yelling at my five year old nephew, because he couldn't find his phone.  "What did you do with it?  Where did you put it?" he was screaming.  I was in the middle of recording a chapter of Abbie's book**, but I got up and left my room to yell back, "I will chuck this thing out into the street; you gave the phone to me to charge!"  Parenting must be fun.

That is all.

I sat down and watched the last episode of "Better Call Saul" today.  As usual, the show was pretty corpulent, but well-acted and well-directed, and I'm sorry to see it go. 

682 words today on "Balms & Sears."  And my goodness, I am close to the end.  I'm up over 66,000 words (in fact, if I had tried just a little bit harder, I could've reached 66,666 tonight.  Darn).  I really, really need to go through and give it a polish, try and make it a little less rambly (there are characters who show up, are in a couple of scenes, and then are gone again, until it ends, and I don't think you're supposed to do that, regardless of how they handle it on "Better Call Saul").  But I'm really just aiming at being done, so I can sigh and say, "Okay, now on to something else."

Soon.

Arcove or Exercise: Arcove (and Writing)

*He also directed THE NEVERENDING STORY, but . . .

**Oh, that means the altercation was recorded for posterity, goodie!

8-13 to 8-15

 8-13

No library, so no writing.  But what the hey, I'm never gonna achieve nothing with my writing anyway.*

So, actress Anne Heche was involved in a spectacular (as in, "dramatic" and "astounding," not the other use of the word) car accident, and suffered burns so severe that she was comatose, and eventually pronounced brain dead.  And several nice tributes came out to her, including one that an acquaintance posted on Facebook . . .

. . . but between you and me, he misspelled Anne's name . . . and it was a photo of Ellen DeGeneres.

And either nobody noticed, or nobody had the heart to correct him.

*I mean, think about it.  Let's say I finished "Balms & Sears" this month.  I would have to do a second draft (or if I was particularly lazy), just record the audio straight off the first draft.  Then edit the audio, and get Audible to pass it.  The soonest I would ever get it out would be, what, this time next year but more probably, 2024.  And then it sells, what, six or seven copies?  You know...

8-14

This afternoon, I went to my Aunt Blanca's house for dinner.  My Uncle John started talking about Las Vegas mafia stories, and I just ate it up.  His kids kept interrupting, bored A.F. (as they say), but I was pretty riveted.  The man has seen some things.

By the way, "bhunder" is not a word.

Arcove or Exercise: Arcove

8-15

As I was approaching the library today, I saw the blind Asian guy that I see here about once a week (I gave him a ride once, and when I asked him where he was from, he refused to tell me), and since my windows were already down, I nearly shouted, "Hey, blind Chinese guy, how you doing?!?"

But then I thought, Gee, what if that offended him?  I better not.  I mean, what if he's Korean?  So, I didn't.

Shoot, I can't remember if I mentioned this or not, but Big posted the final Dunesteef episode (it's at THIS LINK), and with that, the lights have gone out.  So strange.

I took a half hour or so to record my own thoughts on the passing of the show, and I will crowbar that into the next episode of the Rish Outcast I release, along with a few tepid words about my book "Hatchling."  I'll take a cue from Big's new handbook and try and get it out there as soon as I can.

What have I done?  With my life?  Well, I wasted an hour here at the library, probably managing about 280 words, the rest of the time spent on the internet, and doing "research" on Wikipedia.

Yeah, it's a waste of time, but I wanted to make a reference to the Houston Texans football team, and for the reference to work, it had to be a year they were really good.  And those kind of things take time (although not nearly what they would've taken years ago, when someone would have to look up each detail, and every word I wanted a synonym to would've taken a detour into a thesaurus . . . shudder).

After the library, I knew Big and I were going to be recording together (just last week, we recorded the last episode of the Dunesteef, and he's already gotten it posted, and it's on to recording Anklecast episodes), but I knew I had just enough time to go on a run.

So I did, but wow, I am out of practice (and overweight), so I had to stop no less than three times during my run, and each time I stopped, my body said, "Ah, this is my cue to start sweating!" and so, when I'd start running again, the breeze always felt nice on my face.

Arcove or Exercise: Exercise (and Writing)

8-12

8-12

That deranged bastage Big Anklevich actually set up a Patreon fund for himself, after years of threatening.  My reaction was pretty subdued:

So, the guy has a Patreon, if you want to support him, over at THIS LINK.  Death be not proud, B.D. Anklevich.

I finally stuck the first two audio clips for "Arcove's Bright Side" in the Dropbox.  So that puts my graph at:

2 / 52

I went to the library, and only got 656 words, but that's totally fine.  I could've gotten more words, but I was reading about Anne Heche's car accident, her being declared brain dead, and a bunch of tributes that were coming in.  Ah well.

Back to "Balms & Sears."  I introduced a doctor at the end of the book, and asked Big what his name should be.  It took him a while to answer, so I named the character Doctor Thunder, which is the name of a Dr. Pepper knock-off I've seen on shelves (it might have been Shasta's version).  This was a couple of days ago.

Anyway, today I was finishing that scene, and as a joke, I had changed his name to Doctor Chunder.  What's worse, I had Searched and Replaced every version of Thunder and turned it into Chunder, which amuses me, but probably wouldn't work on you.

This is what came up when I searched for "chunder."  You're welcome.

Of course, the character is not comic relief, in a scene that's as serious as whatever's playing at two am on CSPAN, so I decided to change it again.  Feeling desperate, I asked the internet for another word that rhymes with thunder and chunder . . . and it suggested bhunder.*

So yeah, his name is now Doctor Bhunder.  Sigh.

Apparently, this is a real item you can buy.  Both online and in Hell.

They're doing their second announcement, and the woman saying, "The library will close..." sounded particularly pissy about it.  Guess I'll log off now.

Exercise or Arcove: Arcove (and Writing)

P.S. Actually, I liked my hair better in this picture, which I specifically took to send to Big if he ever did set up his Patreon:

*Now, you may claim that's really a word (and if so, good for you--spoken in Christian Bale's voice), but I'm going to agree to disagree with the internet, and we can just move on.

My Voice (and Big's) On Journey Into...

Marshal "George R.R." Latham has finally gotten out the winner of his "Journey Into... Journey" contest from a couple of years ago.  It's called "Backtalk" by R.C. Anderson, and is presented as an episode of a fictional podcast about interference on communications channels in old NASA missions.  

I got to perform the part of a retired astronaut, telling about a disastrous mission back in 1969.  I was described as having a Texan accent, but what I missed was that I was supposed to be in my eighties (whoops).  Nevertheless, the episode is excellent, and does fun stuff with the audio format, and also features Renee Chambliss's ever-hot voice, Big Anklevich's evergreen voice, Gino Moretto's crazy Kiwi accent, and Josh Roseman, who Big and I used to mock relentlessly back in the Dunesteef days.  and Josh Roseman, who Big and I used to mock relentlessly back in the Dunesteef days.  Check it out HERE.

8-11

I got a chapter done, and about half a Rish Outcast.  I was also listening to Marshal Latham's newest "Journey Into..." podcast, which made me excited to write stories and produce them in audio (that reminds me, I ought to write up a post about it, since I do a voice in it).

I watch a DVD every time I come here, and today's pick was 1951's THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL.  Unfortunately, I remembered it well enough from the last time I saw it (which by my memory was early 2000) that I just switched it over to the audio commentary, by Robert Wise and Nicholas Meyer (directors, oddly enough, of the first and second "Star Trek" movies).  It did, I must admit, make me curious about the more recent remake (with Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly), and I thought I might check that out, if I can find it on streaming or the library.  How bad could it be?

Every time I come to the cabin, I drive over to the dam, and force myself to run from one side of it to the other.  It has become yet another tradition for me.  I also check my messages and sometimes try to watch YouTube videos from the tiny spot of wi-fi accessibility on top of it.  Because it's so hard to find, in June, I drew a line in the gravel to mark where to stand, and frequently use it as a finish line when I'm running (by the time I'm on my way back, I'm usually so out of breath and desperate to lie down that I need the psychological push of a visible marker.

Each week, I stand there, try to get a signal, and use my tennis shoes to redraw the line a little deeper.

But what's weird is, I go there every Wednesday, and every Wednesday, the line is either filled in by wind, half washed away by water, or in this week's case, completely re-covered by human hands (or most likely feet).  Somebody has seen what I've done and says, "I see your evil-doing, and it is my job to oppose you."  Next time, I need to remember to bring a shovel and a can of spray paint.

Here, let me try that graph thing I mentioned yesterday:

0 / 52

Pretty ugly, but hey, it gets the point across.

I finally sat down and forced myself to create the art for the cover of my story "But Now I'm Found."  Now I just have to tape it to a powerline or lamppost and take a picture.

Oh, and write an author's note.  I meant to do that on Wednesday.*  I think that, every day of my adult life, I have said or thought the words, "I meant to do that ____."  I won't miss me when I'm gone.

Arcove or Exercise: Both

*Are you a writer?  Do you like writing Author's Notes?  Does it bring you pleasure or pain to think back on the origins of stories or books, and your feelings now that they're done?  What if you're like me and you go, "Huh.  I don't remember where this came from.  But I must've written it, since it has my name on it."

8-10

At the cabin again, and the first thing I did was sit down to edit a chapter of "Arcove's Bri--"

But the sound had gone out on my laptop again.  Oh, goody.  Now, I'd say there's an 85% chance that the sound will come back if I just reboot my system (perhaps even 95%), but I have many, many tabs open, some including stories I'd planned to record (I've got two different podcasts that want narrations and two audio dramas that want character lines [one is over a month overdue]), as well as several articles I'd been planning to read sometime.  It is irritating, but a choice has to be made.

Well, I had two scripts I could record, and read more articles than I should have, and even wrote a bit for "Balms & Sears" which was inspired by the story Big Anklevich is doing on his solo podcast next month.*  But now, before the sun goes down, I have to restart the system, so I can get some of Abbie's chapters edited.

I think I mentioned that CatsCast asked me to do another story for them.  Well, I sat down and recorded it.  It was written by Rati Mehrotra, and honestly, the story was as good as the author's name was hard to pronounce.

I had this idea the other day, to keep myself (and only possibly you) entertained, that I would count all the chapters/sections in the book, and keep track of how many of them I had completed, to see how close I was to done with the project.  There are fifty-two segments, which is an easy to remember number, and I'll ask Marshal if he can give me a status bar I can paste into these posts, to demonstrate my progress.

As of tomorrow (if I remember to stick them in the Dropbox), I'll have completed two of the fifty-two (granted, these are two of the, probably, four easiest bits in the whole book, them being the title and the Introduction, but hey, those need to be recorded (and edited) too.

I edited a chapter and man, is it tedious!  Reading the story was easy, performing the story was precise and complicated, but editing the story is arduous, time-consuming, misery.  

I'm reminded of a podcaster I knew who would record their audio, and then outsource it to an engineer to do all the editing, clean-up, and mixing, and I used to say, "That's like one of those dudes that has a girl in every port, knocks them up, and then never sees them again, because they're on to a new one."

Arcove or Writing or Exercise: All Three

*Because I restarted the system, there was no way to find out my word count for the day, but I checked it weeks later, and today's count was 805 words.

8-6 thru 8-9

8-6

I went on a hike with various members of my family today, and even though I left to get there at the time we were supposed to meet, I still was the second one to arrive.  We walked around in the mountains, then drove to a lake, where those of us still with energy walked around it as well.

There was a very small waterfall at the top of a trail, and people lost their minds and stood under it.  I had a bit more self-control, and got a picture in front of it.

I could've hung out longer (there were squirrels and chipmunks that weren't very afraid of people, and we kept throwing them peanuts and pretzels and Valtrex, and I could've watched that for another hour or two), but some folks were tired and had things to do, so I drove back down the canyon by myself, then stopped at my sister's to mow her lawn, then went home, showered waaaaaaay too long (my feet were so caked in mud, we'll probably have to have the bathtub burned), then ran to the library to get some writing done.  And now I'm typing this (and some stuff for yesterday) instead of writing.  Silly me.

Only got 570 words.  But I was really enjoying it when they did the announcement.  Would've gotten double that with an extra fifteen minutes.

This is just a picture of the folliage that I thought looked cool.  If I had time, I'd stick a "Where's Waldo?"-type cameo in it.

Audiobook or Writing or Exercise: All Three

8-7

I went to the movies (to see BULLET TRAIN) with my cousin last night.  It was a lot of fun.  There was also a trailer for a movie called SMILE that was so terrifying, they had to hose off my seat mid-way through the Coke commercial.

I also took an hour or so to record two more chapters of the audiobook.  I'm starting to worry that my voice for Halvery is indistinguishable from my voice for Lyndi.  But maybe I'm being too self-critical, since Abbie tends to write, "said Halvery" and "Lyndi asked," which should help.

Audiobook or Writing or Exercise: Audiobook

8-8

I have been forcing myself to sit and record at least one chapter of "Arcove's Bright Side" each night.  At this rate . . . well, I'll still finish it sometime in 2024, but I'm trying.

Got a chapter of Arcove in, then did a chapter of "But Now I'm Found" (just to switch things up) and that gave me 301 words.

I also went for a run, promising myself some pineapple sherbet as a reward afterward.

Arcove or Writing or Exercise: All Three

8-9

I mostly worked today, though I did take the kids to a stream to catch minnows for a half hour.  It's that time of the year where there are simply thousands of tiny fish, and they're easy to catch.

I haven't been to the library in a few days, and that's when I tend to do my blogging.  Today, I worked on "The Washer Whispers," managing 637 words, while earlier in the day, I sat down and recorded the last chapter of "But Now I'm Found"*, which came to 114 words.  

My heart's not really in the writing right now, but I remember somebody somewhere saying that, when the whole book is done, you won't be able to tell which bits were written when you were excited and the words were really flowing, and which bits were absolute torture to get out, with absolutely no inspiration.  We'll see.

Arcove or Writing or Exercise: Arcove & Writing

*It was a really weak chapter, making me question the whole endeavor.  But what can you do?

Rish Outcast 227: Caller I.D. (1)

Rish presents the first installment of his (hopefully) annual "Caller I.D." series, only about a decade late!  

When young Chad Kluchar gets a mysterious call on his new cellphone, he has no idea the person on the other end is familiar to him . . . shockingly familiar.

If you would like to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you would like to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Caller NZ" Moretto.