Gutterball

There was a toy sale my cousin and I went to in April, and as we were putting out our wares, we came across a Spongebob Squarepants Happy Meal toy that belonged to neither of us.  As there were bound to be many children there that day (as well as rain, wind, and hail), my cousin figured he could put a sticker that said "Free" on it so someone who actually wanted it could take it off our hands.

Typical of me, I made a sticker for it that said "FREE (Warning: toy is cursed)" on it.  No, not funny in the slightest, but when has that ever stopped me?

And a few minutes later, a child did indeed see the Spongebob toy and show it to his mother, who read my sticker and said, "No!  Put it back, it says it's cursed."  And . . . well, yeah, I guess that was a little bit funny.

Anyway, once the torrential rain came down, the ball was forgotten, and the next week, when we got together to sell, my cousin took the "cursed" sticker off of it, and just gave it away without comment.  End of story.

But today was another toy sale, in a much, much smaller venue, and both my cousin and I had tables next to each other.  The organizer of the event had found a little plastic ball while setting up, and put it on his desk so that anyone who wanted it could take it (for free).  I mentioned it to my cousin, and we both had the same idea: the ball was free, sure, but it was cursed.

Anyhow, the toy selling day came and went without much incident.*  I sold only two or three things (might only have been two), but my cousin did better, and I really see these as social outings more than all-or-nothing business trips, so it was a fair day.  We were packing up our stuff and carrying it to my cousin's car, when I looked down at the gutter.  There was the ball Jwill had had at his table, lying between the sidewalk and the street.

It was easy to imagine an unlucky child leaving the venue, his cursed ball in hand, and starting to cross the road before being flattened by a Cybertruck that, true to form, didn't even stop to apologize.  And there was that ball again, just waiting for the next poor soul to pick it up.

*The only incident of measure, not really even worth mentioning, was that I had offered to bring an expensive toy (one selling for between $140 and $150 on eBay), but had told people I would be asking $120 for it, and when I spoke to my nephew about the possibility of it reaching $200 or so around Christmas, he said, "Then why let it go for less?" because he knows me well enough to see me selling it for $100 or even $80 because I'm incapable of sticking to my guns.  So, I told him before I left that I would stick to my guns and not sell it for less than what I was asking for.  My cousin told me the same thing ("Just say no when someone offers you fifty"), and I vowed to be tough for the first time ever.  So, when a couple of people asked me its price (even though it said it had $120 right on it), I told them I couldn't go lower.  But one guy wouldn't stop needling me about doing just that.  I told him, "Yeah, I could go lower, but I'm not going to on this one."  But he just wouldn't stop ("Nobody's bought it for $120 yet--just drop the price"), and toward the end of the day, after a stranger texted me and said he'd give me full price for it if I still had it that afternoon, this guy--who is not a stranger, and I have gone as far as to drive to my sister's house to get an item from her basement to sell to him--came up to me (this was maybe the fourth time that day), and said, "Okay, here's my final offer: $105," I said, "Sorry, it's not for sale anymore," and I took it off the table and set it aside.  
He did not respond well to this.  "Okay, great," he said, and angrily walked back to his booth (across the room), upset that I had wasted so much of his precious time (I had bought three things from his own booth, which I suppose I regret now).  He hadn't previously been a friend of mine or anything, but after today, he never would be.

Rish Outcast 332: You're My Obsession

Rish is head over heels for this 2026 Horror movie OBSESSION, directed by Curry Barker, which has made a ton of money and garnered a bunch of praise. And while Rish tries to skirt spoilers, here's one: he never quite manages to properly explain why the movie was so scary to him.

While we're at it, why not talk about John Collier's "The Chaser," adapted in the first season of The Twilight Zone?

Warning: TMI and thematic spoilers.

Download the file directly by Right-Clicking HERE.

Why don't you support me on Patreon HERE?  You afraid or something?

Logo by Gino "You're My Depression" Moretto.

Big & Rish Talk About "Digital Wizards"

Over on the Anklecast, Big has been presenting segments of his novella "Digital Wizards," month to month.  In the newest episode, I join him to talk about the completed story, where the idea came from, and how we are supposed to feel about the main character.  I thought it was an interesting discussion, but of course, I have a bias.

Maybe you could go over and judge for yourself, RIGHT HERE.

Rish & Marshal Discuss THE MANDALORIAN & GROGU

So, there's a new* Star Wars movie in theatres!  Join me and Marshal Latham as we discuss THE MANDALORIAN & GROGU over at the Delusions of Grandeur podcast!  Find out what Rish would've bet a thousand dollars was going to happen (and didn't), discover what OT Star Wars alien Marshal did not recognize, and hear one of us complain about having to see the movie twice right HERE.

*It's a bit old now, but hey, anything I edit is going to be.

Marshal & I Encounter THE HUMANOID

Boy, this is a bad one.  Marshal Latham and I once stood at the grave of Alex McCrindle (who played General Dodonna) and vowed to watch every single ripoff of STAR WARS that we could . . . as long as it wasn't directed by Zack Snyder and straight to Netflix.  And that brought us to 1979's THE HUMANOID, the most recent movie we've reviewed on Outfield Excursions.

And words kind of fail me on this film.  It has three James Bond alumni in it, a robot dog sidekick, a naked torture device, a creepy Asian kid with mystical powers, as well as a character with the outlandish Sci-Fi name of Barbara Gibson.

Bad, yes.  But is it fun-bad or simply bad-bad?  Check it out HERE.

Podcast That Dares 70: The Crystal Egg

Rish presents HG Wells's 1897 Science Fiction tale, "The Crystal Egg." It tells us about Mister Cave, an antique shop owner who is oddly protective of a decorative glass egg in the store's possession.

Yeah, 1897.

If you wish to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you wish to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "The Crystal Smeg" Moretto.

Rish Outcast 330: My Friend of Misery 3

It's the new normal. Brielle Montrose tries to live her life, while her brother and his new "friend" are living theirs.

Afterwards, Rish opens a can of worms talking about bullies (I even considered cutting it out, since the episode was so long, but here we are) and even quotes Nietzsche.

Note: These three MFOM episodes were recorded before I realized it was a mistake to attach my microphone to the seatbelt instead of my shirt.

To download this episode, Right-Click HERE.

To support Rish on his Patreon page, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "My Fan of Misery" Moretto.

Your Watcher and Mine

I had a trio of favorite characters on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."  If I recall, they were Xander, Giles, and Spike.  And while I never worked on any show with James Marsters, I did a "Kitchen Confidential" episode with Nicholas Brendan*, and a pilot that didn't get picked up starring Anthony Stewart Head.  

Later, when I started watching BTVS, I grew to love the character of Rupert Giles, and kept waiting for the episode where he is killed (I had misunderstood his fate amid the many spoilers that I could not avoid), and began to imitate the way he would say, "Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer..." at the start of episodes.**

Yes, his brother sang "One Night In Bangkok."

It was that mediocre impression, though, that got me a "gig" (ie, unpaid) of voicing Giles on an audio adaptation of the Dark Horse Buffy comics.  While I'm sure I would wince at the badness of my English accent if I listened to those today, twenty years ago it was good enough for (unpaid) government work.

Anyway, it turns out that Anthony Stewart Head died this past Monday.  It was due to complications after pneumonia, and he was only seventy-two.  But even if he'd lived to be ninety, it would be too soon for such an inspiring and underrated actor.  

Besides "Buffy," he was on "Merlin," and the second Percy Jackson movie, in "Bridgerton," "Little Britain," SWEENEY TODD, THE IRON LADY, and probably the worst movie ever made based on a Marvel comic***, GHOST RIDER: SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE.

I never met the guy, unfortunately.  I did see him at a San Diego Comic-Con one trip, signing a book (I looked it up, and there aren't any listings on Amazon for books he's written).  I asked if I could get in the line, but it was already capped.  I bet somebody with Tony's charisma couldn't charmed their way into the queue.

It turns out he had a major role in "Ted Lasso," which I was not aware of (Jeff's a big fan).  Oh, and Jeff and I watched DUNGEONS & DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES last week, and discovered that the creepy villainous witchgirl was played by Emily Head, Tony's daughter.  

It was thinking about that pilot--it was called "Him & Us" and he played a pop star based on Elton John and we were shooting concert scenes all day long, where I was a fan.  The songs were all original to the show, and the "band" performed them so many times that a bunch of us on my row (including a pretty blonde lass I was fortunate enough to sit next to) started singing along to them, just like if were were real lifelong fans of this guy (Maxx Flash was the character name).  I worked on a ton of programs until I pissed off Sony, but that was one of the highpoints of my time as an extra. 

It's really Giles that I'll remember him for.  He played Buffy's Watcher, guiding her and the rest of the gang, acting as the adult in the room, even when that was difficult.  He brought warmth and intelligence to the role of Buffy's father figure, and sang in two episodes.  He had such a gravitas and professionalism to his performance that you believed everything he said, no matter how ridiculous.  It was an excellent show--one of my all-time favorites--and he made it better.

R.I.P.

*I really should have blogged about it, but I read the news at the end of a shift, and I honestly only ever blog here at work (or at the cabin in the summer).  When I worked with Nicholas, I had only ever seen one episode of "Buffy," and hadn't gone back (though it HAD been a Xander-centric first season episode).  Only later would I appreciate the show.  And him.  But still, I should've said something on here.

**I say it to this day, including this past Tuesday when my cousin and I were watching "The Rookie."  It is probably annoying to everybody around me, but no matter what the show is, I call it "Previously on BTVS."

***Which yes, I realize is saying something.