October Sweeps - Day 617

I got very close to finishing my reading of "Underdecorated" today.  One more session is all it will take.  As often happens with these things, I was a bit disappointed that certain parts didn't work as well on paper as they did in my mind, but I was also pleased that I answered the question of just what was going on with the townsfolk, instead of leaving it sort of nebulous at the end.

I hope other people like the story too.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In October: 1073

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In October: 1256

And speaking of "Underdecorated," I went to the dollar store again, looking for some kind of cheap decoration I could buy and tear in half for the cover art.  Nobody sells the old green and white plastic skeletons I've been looking for for a month, but I found a "Happy Halloween" sign, went ahead and bought it, and tried to tear it in half when I got it home.

I couldn't tear it.  It wasn't made of paper or cardboard, but some kind of plastic.  So, I just took a box cutter and sliced it in half.  I hope the art looks properly torn in two.

Words Today: 593
Words In October: 7107

P.S. One last thing: I did a search for "skeleton decoration" to stick on the top of this post, and the auto-fill (you know, that helpful thing the internet does where it tries to predict what you're going to say so you don't have to type it out) suggested "Sheldon the Wonder Schlong."  Thanks, internet . . . you truly are a friend of mine.

October Sweeps - Day 616

I did hit the library today, but it was right before it was closing, and that was my own fault: I fell asleep while editing in the afternoon, and barely got any writing in because of it.  But that's my fault, not anybody else's.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In October: 973

I was disappointed to see that NO TIME TO DIE opened way below where I thought it would.  The studios always underestimate what their movies will do so they can say things "overperformed" or "did better than our wildest dreams," but this one was a fairly standard opening (not a bomb or anything), when I expected it to skyrocket, based, I guess, on how much I was looking forward to it (and based on how hugely VENOM 2 did).

But they say that 57% of Bond's audience was older, and the older you get, the less likely you are to go out to the movies, so I guess that's some kind of plausible explanation.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In October: 1156

Words Today: 692
Words In October: 6514

October Sweeps - Day 615

So, after eighteen whole months of delays*, it came out.  Tonight, I saw NO TIME TO DIE tonight with Jeff's whole family.

The film was good, and takes great pains to end the series started in CASINO ROYALE, bringing things full circle, and eliminating any plot threads left.  And I'm very glad I saw SPECTRE again right before seeing this, so I could appreciate the references in there (the prologue, for example, would've meant little to me had I not heard about it in the last film on Sunday).  In some ways, it redeems some of the shortcomings SPECTRE had when we all thought it was the last Daniel Craig film, and definitely closes the door on this iteration of Bond.

Because it was delayed so long (the copyright at the end was 2020, which made me wonder if it has sat, unchanged since February of that year), Eon Productions missed the chance of having yet another Bond film for next year, which is the character's filmic 60th anniversary, but there's no doubt another one is coming down the pike.  I only hope they don't choose to reboot it with another origin/first mission story, and just do it like they used to, with an unfamiliar face in the character's shoes, but the assumption that we know who he is and what his world is all about.

Probably, though, they will feel the need to recast everybody and everything, and start with his recruitment into MI-6, which is an irritating trend in filmmaking (though I suppose the Ben Affleck Batman didn't get a new "first adventure," and they didn't kill Uncle Ben again with the Tom Holland Spider-man).  It would be nice if they introduced Alec Trevelyan as a fellow agent and friend to Bond, since I like stuff like that, but that's probably problematic too . . . it's better to just continue the series and set things up for the future with new characters.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In October: 873

One of my goals for the month of October is to get more push-ups and sit-ups in than I did in September.  Because I got sick for a few days last month, this should be a piece of cake . . . except that I've stopped doing the add-one-to-the-highest-number-of-push-ups-I've-done thing, which was going for months.  In the end, I fear that the sit-ups (which are hard) will be easier to do than the push-ups (which are easy)

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In October: 1056

I finished my Walt Disney book.  It was sad, because I'd really poured through it, and I don't usually get seven hundred page books read in such a short period of time.  I was sorry when he got sick there at the end, because he was still fairly young, and had so many plans ahead of him (many, if not most, of which would never be carried through after his death), and he reportedly said his big fear was that he'd be remembered for creating a damn mouse.

Words Today: 438
Words In October: 5822

*Look at that poster up there.  April 2020.  Though, back when Danny Boyle was directing it, it was supposed to be February 2020.  And I think, when it was first announced, it was supposed to come out in November of 2019.

October Sweeps - Day 614

Holy pee, we're a whole week into October!

Driving up the dirt road to the cabin yesterday.

I didn't wake up during the night at all, so when I woke up in the morning, and it was already light outside, I figured I had slept right up to when my alarm was going to go off, as I sometimes do when I've been out late.  I turned on the laptop to try to get some blogging done, and as I did so, the sun started to rise beyond the trees outside . . . so it wasn't nearly as late as I'd imagined.  That pleases me, because I'll have a couple of extra hours here today to make up for having to leave well before it gets dark.*

I wish I felt inspired with this story and could put my head down and just barrel into it.  I might give it a break and see if I can't get back into last year's Will Choner story instead.

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In October: 773

So, I listened to Marshal's Patreon address last night, as is a tradition for me when I'm cooking or making a fire up here, and he made a goal to go on walks to get some exercise, and hopes to do it every single day for the rest of the year.  I wish him luck, but that sort of thing seems extremely difficult (he also set a goal to drink no more soda for the rest of the year, and I ought to sit him down and ask him if he loves soda as much as I do**), but he had the idea that he could record little podcasts for his fans while he went on his walks, as a bonus (sort of like multi-tasking).

So I thought I would send him a couple of topics, ask him a question and let him speak about it, in case he needed inspiration.  I don't know why I do stuff like this, but once I sat down, I couldn't stop talking, and each thirty second prompt ended up being about five minutes long.  Sigh.  And it was just so I could make fun of his love for Kelly Clarkson.  Sigh again.

Push-ups Today: 166
Push-ups In October: 956

I spent the morning before my alarm went off editing audio for "Underdecorated," and I am starting to worry about how unlikeable Katy is (as I mentioned yesterday).  I personally find her pretty delightfully acerbic, and am reminded of how Emma Stone was in EASY A, who remained likeable despite thinking she was better than everyone around her.***  I guess it takes a certain level of actress to never lose you, even when being less than respectful.  It's a thin line to walk upon, but I guess I'm writing a character that basically chooses to die of a plague just to own the Libs.

Anyhow, the text version had a blank in it when the county sheriff says, "Hello, I'm Sheriff ____," and in my recording session, I spent two minutes trying to think of a name that Katy could find amusing.  Finally, I decided to call him Sheriff Spoonauer, and the nosy neighbor lady Sandra, and went ahead with the recording.  But in editing it today, I discovered the sheriff already had a name in an earlier scene (Sheriff Cantrell) and the neighbor lady was given the rather musical name of Melody Abegg.  So, now I'll have to go back and re-record the bit with "Cantrell," though I much prefer Melody to Sandra.  These are things that are interesting to me, and cannot in any way be interesting to you.

But, if I haven't lost you YET, let me seal the deal with this: Katy's little brother's name is, ugh, Tevin.  And it never occurred to me that the family's last name was the Smiths, so when the sheriff (Spoonauer!) asks for the boy's name, he says Tevin Smith, and it sounds so much like the stoner filmmaker Kevin Smith, that I considered changing the family's last name, despite having five whole chapters already recorded with "Smith" in it.

What?  You're still here?  Even after that?

Okay, let me seal the deal.  I discovered I had used the word "affronted" twice in the story, and it's eating me up inside.  Since I have to go back and re-record anyway, I'm trying to find a word (other than "offended") that I can substitute for the second one.  And I condemn Walt Disney for being an unreasonable perfectionist.

After that, I did jot down a page or two on my Christmas tale (which I'm calling "There'll Be Scary Ghost Stories") and half a page or so on a Lara & the Witch bit where she's taking her driver's test (there's a good chance it'll never be used, but it still counts as words).

Words Today: 1499
Words In October: 5384

*You know this already, but I am extremely paranoid about deer on the road, ever since there was that horse-sized elk standing in the highway last year.  And it's not really paranoia, is it, if I see deer run across the road literally every other time I drive home from here, and actually ruined my last car running over one, right?

**Again, you've heard this already, but soda used to be one of my three FAVORITE things in the world.  This was in 2018 or 2019 that I realized this, and I tried to think of what the other two would be, and decided that talking about movies with my friends had to be right up there with Pepsi.  And then I had my mid-life thing, I met that girl, and my priorities changed, and started drinking sugar-free soda (to the point where, on the rare occasion, maybe once a month or less often, that I taste a regular Pepsi or Pibb Extra, it tastes too sweet and overpoweringly cloying to my buds.  So sad).  But now that she's gone, I decided yesterday that I now love donuts slightly more than I do her, and soda's not even up there anymore.  Don't get me wrong, I still NEED to drink soda, but I don't really want to, kind of like blowing my nose or wearing a facemask.

***I remember a friend of mine (cue thunderclap) using the term "slut-shaming" a few years ago, a concept I'd never heard before.  I didn't ask her what it meant, but in my mind, I thought of a puritanical village, where stockade had been built to put amorous young women in so they could be threatened with hellfire and overripe vegetables.  It wasn't until I saw how Amanda what's-her-name was in EASY A that I understood what Abbie was talking about.

October Sweeps - Day 613

Back to the cabin already.  It was raining like a sunny day in Oregon when I woke up this morning, and my mom was aghast that I was still going to the cabin* but I know it's going to be too cold soon (she pressured my brother to winterize this place already, just in case it freezes early), and I'll miss the heck out of it.

It was cold when I got here, and it's cold now.  I finally brought my Robert E. Howard Conan book with me (which I'd been promising Tom Tancredi I'd do all summer), and sat down on the couch to record a story . . . and promptly fell asleep.  Heck, if I were smart, I'd delete that whole twenty minute recording and do the first chapter again, because I know it'll be mostly infuriating, unusable outtakes.

I sat down before I'd even turned on the electricity or tried (and failed) to make a fire in the stove and wrote a couple of paragraphs on my Dead & Breakfast Christmas story.  I think what I need to do is go outside and shovel gravel tomorrow, and see if I can't think of three ghost scenarios I could write about in the story.  But since I'm still writing every darn day, I may not have that luxury.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In October: 662

I did sit down and re-record the first four sections of "Underdecorated," and I started editing the new stuff today.  The main character of Katianna, who is (I believe) sixteen, is pretty cold and selfish and unlikeable, and I know that I played that up in my narration.  But I wonder if I went too far with it.  

I remember Jamie Lee Curtis telling us at a screening of HALLOWEEN in Hollywood that she went to see the film with friends when it came out in 1978, and at one point, when Laurie Strode stupidly decided to go back into danger toward the end of the film, one theatergoer shouted at the screen, "You stupid bitch, you deserve to get killed!"  We all laughed, but ever since that day, I've sat up and paid attention to what I call You Stupid Bitch You Deserve To Die moments (I've probably even talked about it on this blog).

I'm currently reading (in between Walt Disney sessions) a Sarah J. Maas (YA?) Fantasy book with a super-willful female protagonist who is utterly incapable of taking the advice of others or keep out of other people's business, and there have been two or three moments in the book where I have shouted, "You stupid bitch, you deserve to die!" which is how I always say it.

And you see where I'm going here, right?  Katianna is headstrong and insensitive, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if that audience member shouted the same thing when reading my story.  See, she's supposed to learn a lesson in the story, so I had her be self-absorbed and kinda catty when we first meet her, but she discovers a bit of steel and compassion within herself as the story goes along.  By the end, I would hope that the audience no longer roots for her death, and wants her to succeed in something.

You never know, though.  The Sarah Maas book (this is the first of her works I've ever read) almost had me turning it off early on, when someone tells the protagonist, "Whatever you do, don't light a candle at midnight and turn around three times while chanting 'Ricardo Montalban!'" and guess what she goes and does thirty seconds after the old housekeeper tells her this?  I'd hate to be responsible for that sort of thing . . . except I didn't turn it off.  Or at least, not for long.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In October: 790

Unfortunately, I didn't get any more words written before I got too tired.  You see, I forced myself to finish the Howard Conan story, and it was a super long one (I'm sure, when it first appeared in a pulp magazine, they touted it as a "new novel by Robert E. Howard!" on the cover), and this may amuse you, it got darker and darker in the room the longer I went, making it harder and harder to narrate.  I had my phone plugged into my laptop in the other room, and I could hear it connecting through the wall, and every time it did, the lights dimmed a little (so strange, but I guess we're at the time of the year where the solar collectors don't get enough sun to keep everything going all at once.

Words Today: 552
Words In October: 3885

*I swear, one day she's going to drive up on a day I'm not here and see an entire harem of blow-up dolls all sitting around a table having tea and say, "Ah, so that's why he comes up here so often."

October Sweeps - Day 612

Here in town, the local movie theater chain does a five dollar Tuesday deal (they have for the last five or six years), so my cousin and I had decided to wait until tonight to see VENOM 2.  It opened on Friday to the biggest premiere of the pandemic (previous record-holder was BLACK WIDOW), and it got a--gasp!--almost good 60% on Rotten Tomatoes!

So I drove over with my nephew to get tickets (he had overslept his alarm on Monday, so he was grounded from going to any movies with me--and our tickets were for ten pm anyway, so I'd have said no even if he were my kid and I was in charge), and my cousin and I met at the theater at ten.

And guys, I know a 60 on the Tomatometer is significantly better than the 30% the first movie got, but hey, 60 is being pretty generous.  For such an ugly, meandering, unpleasant, and logic-free film, it astounds me that anybody liked it, let alone the vast majority of people I've heard from.  And my cousin, who admitted it wasn't great (but still enjoyed it), tried to defend the way Carnage looked in the movie, saying that was exactly as he'd seen the character drawn.  But dude, there was usually something charming and well-designed about Carnage in the books--this thing just looked like the Parallax turd from GREEN LANTERN had a baby with the Blob.  

The CG for Carnage was pretty excellent, though.  It's sure to get an Oscar nomination in 1997.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In October: 562

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In October: 690

As far as writing goes, I went to the library for the first time in a while, and pounded out a few words on my Christmas story.  I'm not saying they were good words, though.

Words Today: 1373
Words In October: 3333

October Sweeps - Day 611

I realize I talk about Taylor Swift a lot on this blog (or on my podcast, or in my stories--having thrown Swift references four or five times in my Lara & the Witch novel), but allow me to do so once more.  I got her latest (at least I assume it's her latest, she puts out an album every six months or so) record from the library the other day, hoping to listen to it when I finished the audiobook I've been listening to on my drives.  And I finally got tired of the endless discs of the audiobook (Fantasy novels have to be the most sprawling, overlong books of all the genres, since their readers have absolutely no problem with a Brandon Sanderson book that's twice the length it should be), and popped in the album.

And except for the two singles I heard on the radio, none of the songs were particularly good.  It gave me pause: why do I love Taylor Swift so much, really?  

But hey, there's a reason none of those other songs were singles.  Unless you're young, we've all bought albums before because we loved a song on the radio, only to find out it was the only great (or even good) song on the album.  I guess this is like that.  

Her stuff still speaks to me, but every once in a while there are stinkers, like that song where she blames the patriarchy for not being as successful as Leonardo DiCaprio.*  You can't only write perfect songs.  Heck, I write stories, and even I don't love them all.

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In October: 462

Push-ups Today: 200
Push-ups In October: 590

Words Today: 344
Words In October: 1960

*I did a quick check, and Taylor Swift is worth twice what DiCaprio is, so so much for that load of righteous indignation.

October Sweeps - Day 610

I pretty much got no writing done today.  It wasn't for lack of trying--I sat down with my microphone and tried to re-record the lost audio chapters of "Underdecorated," but the phone rang before too long, and my friend invited me to go watch SPECTRE (the 2015 Bond film) with him, in preparation for NO TIME TO DIE, which comes out this week.

I remember not liking the ending of SPECTRE, back in 2015, and over the years, it's gotten the reputation of being one of the stinkers in the series.  But watching it again, there were a lot of really solid moments, and I like the French girl quite a bit.  The movie really starts to drag at the end, and as great as Christophe Waltz is in most things, his Blofeld just talks way too much, chattering on and on so much that the few good lines he has ("The daughter of an assassin: the only woman who could ever have understood you.") get buried in just pages of babble.  And the finale, with clues and an elaborate trail to follow (featuring photos of characters from previous entries in the series), pretty much squanders what came before.  I remembering being so disappointed that Blofeld was introduced--and defeated--in the same movie, and felt a little less upset, now that we know he's coming back in the next one.

Even so, to just have him escape after Bond has gone of with Madeline Swann at the end would've gone a long way to satisfying me in the end.

Still, Jeff insisted that it was not as good as QUANTUM OF SOLACE, which is so badly made that, if it had a decent script, you'd never knowing under the incompetence, so not everyone was pleasantly surprised.  Regardless, I want to see the last one now more than ever.*

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In October: 351

I was driving down the main road through town this afternoon, and a bunch of cars were honking, even though traffic was minimal.  When I got up closer, I saw another person honk at a black SUV, and couldn't figure out what they were doing wro--

Then I saw it.  Their gas cover was open, and sticking out of it was the entire nozzle of a gas station pump, along with the hose dragging down below it.  Guess they had driven off without disconnecting, torn the whole thing off the machine, and not noticed.  Finally someone got his attention, hopped out of their car, and pulled it out for them, handing the gas pump through the window for the driver.  Embarrassing.

Push-ups Today: 150
Push-ups In October: 390

Big and I have this writer friend, Jason Sanford, who published his first novel ("Plague Birds," which was based on a story we presented on our podcast about ten years ago--maybe twelve), and Jason wanted to talk about it, so Big set up this interview with him, but it apparently had to be over Zoom.  I had used Zoom once, when talking to those producers last year about the script I was writing, but it had been on my laptop, so I could hear the other guys but I couldn't see them.  

This time, I installed Zoom on my phone, and I was out and about, trying to find Marvel figures (they've been hitting all at once--four waves at the same time, which has never happened before--and I was driving around trying to find them, sort of like Pokemon Go or something), but I just pulled into an empty parking lot and had the conversation with the guy.

I thought it went well--and Jason claimed that he wouldn't have written the novel if it weren't for us running it on our show and it drawing so much positive attention, which, true or not, was a very nice thing to say--and though Sanford's an astoundingly good writer, he mentioned that he still has a full time job, and just writes on the side.  

Words Today: 137
Words In October: 1616

*Yes, I said "last one."  You know what I mean.

Podcast That Dares 28: Suffer the Little Children

After a bit of hemming and hawing, I'm going ahead with my presentation of Stephen King's short story "Suffer the Little Children."  Enjoy.

Download the episode by Right-Clicking HERE.

Support me on Patreon right about HERE.

Logo by Gino "Suffer The Oversized Children" Moretto.

October Sweeps - Day 609

Not much to report today.  I stayed at the cabin--it wasn't nearly as cold last night as the night before, and when the fire started to die down (around ten or eleven), I just forgot about it--and woke up with the sun super low in the sky again (no picture today).  I got two podcasts completely edited (one I think I'll post right soon), and started on a third.  I recorded a long British ghost story (I kept checking the recorder, hoping it would last, as well as its battery), which I haven't decided whether to do an episode on or not (I keep thinking I'll start making YouTube videos of my readings again, but I just haven't the ambition to tackle the damn video editing).

I fell asleep reading the Walt Disney book (Disneyland is a day away from opening), and when I woke, I decided I ought to pack up and leave early, in case there was work to do waiting at home.  It still took nearly half an hour to pack up my things and put away the bedding and pots and pans and stuff, and I can't really get over that (I honestly would've said I could be out of the cabin in five minutes, if I was hurrying).

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In October: 200

Something that I did, just for fun, was grab an abandoned Hulkbuster toy from a couple of years ago that I had painted black, in anticipation of doing a Venomized version (this was that same stretch where I was making Symbiote dinosaurs from Jurassic World figures) that my four year old nephew has been playing with.  I painted eyes and a spider on it, and though it doesn't look particularly good, here's a picture before I give it back to the kid, who will probably beat other toys with it until it needs another paintjob.  I hadn't done any painting this summer, whereas I remember enjoying many projects last year, culminating on the big green T-Rex that is still upstairs by the broken telescope.

Push-Ups Today: 100
Push-ups In October: 240

Torn between starting some new writing project and not writing at all, I chose to sit down and write some details for where the Dead & Breakfast Christmas story could go.  Then I went ahead and wrote the opening scene.  It might not go anywhere--I need one more element, probably the ending--but it still counts as words, if only a few.

Words Today: 422
Words In October: 1479

October Sweeps - Day 608

While I woke up before my alarm went off today (which is always the case), I didn't see the sunrise or have hours to work before my alarm went off.  I don't feel lazy or anything, I just didn't get up and get working at the break of day.  There's still plenty of time to get things done.  And even more if I decide to go home on Saturday instead of today.

Okay, I HAVE to finish my Will Choner story today.  Looking back over my word counts the last three or four days, as pathetic as they are, that's all it would take to be done with it.  And be able to move on to something else, or just stop writing altogether for a few days.

Sit-ups Today: 100

Push-Ups Today: 140

Alright, I've decided to stay another day.  It's getting dark right now, but the sky is an interesting yellow color that matches some of the leaves on the trees.  I drove over to the dam after doing three wheelbarrows of gravel (I got one whole section of the driveway "paved" now), just as it started to rain.  My mom often worries if I don't contact someone when I go to the cabin, worries that the white-faced woman or emaciated feral child of my imagination has got me, I guess, so I texted her that I'd come home on Saturday, and that I was only a half hour away from finishing my writing project.

Then, true to my word, I drove back here (not in the dark, for once), and sat down and finished up the story, which still doesn't have a title, but I did come up with a name for Will and Beth's (and Marcelus's, I guess, though he isn't in this story) lost item recovery service, Treasures Regained.  Allow me to feel a bit of pride in that for a moment, for tomorrow, my word count goes back to zero.

Along those lines, poor benighted Marshal Latham sent me a link to a writing contest for "weird Christmas stories," and I entertained the idea of writing one . . . until I read that the maximum word count was three hundred and fifty words.

350 words?  This blog post so far has been 339 words!

Words Today: 1057