Rish Performs "Drink To Me Only With Labyrinthian Eyes" on Pseudopod

Pseudopod is a horror fiction podcast that is, amazingly, over four hundred episodes long.  It is hosted by the Lord of hosts, Alisdair Stuart, who elevates even the word "Hello" when he says it, into poetry.  A couple of those episodes have, unfortunately, been tainted by my foul narrations, and this week's is one of them.

The story, if it can be said in a single sentence, is "Drink To Me Only With Labyrinthine Eyes," written by Tom Ligotti, and as the title suggests, this was a bit of a throwback kind of story.  It reminded me of Poe, when in "Tell-tale Heart" he goes on a first person diatribe about the Eye, or in "Cask of Amontillado," where he pontificates about his desire for revenge.  The narrator is a mesmerist/hypnotist/entertainer, delighting the rich attendees of a party in a huge house, and his contempt for the people he has enthralled is only barely contained.

I tried to deliver the dialogue in a classic, melodramatic, mid-Atlantic manner, channeling (perhaps) Vincent Price in another Poe tale this reminded me of, "Masque of the Red Death."  Because of the language and type of story, it was a challenge to make it sound natural, and only you can decide whether I succeeded or not.*

I'm always happy to narrate stories for other shows, but some are more challenging than others.  Here be yon link: http://pseudopod.org/2015/04/17/pseudopod-434-drink-to-me-only-with-labyrinthine-eyes/

Rish "Labyrinthine Arse" Outfield

*Sorry to get off on a rant here, but I've meant to write about this for years.  There's this Activision video game called "Skylanders" that runs on gaming platforms, but requires kids to purchase action figures to play the game, placing a figure on the stage setup and being that character in the game.  There's a demo of the game at every Walmart, Target, Toys R Us, Best Buy, and Barkley's Fun Funeral Home location in the country.  And on the demo, there's a voice-over explaining the game in excited tones to any child that happens by, and the thing that always stays with me, every time I hear it (and I've heard it dozens of dozens of times by now) is when the narrator says, "Only YOU can save Skylands by placing a character on the game portal and defending the land from evil!"
It strikes me somewhere down deep when I hear it.  Only you.  Only you can be a hero.  It's up to you.  You're our only hope (Obi-Wan Kenobi).  The ball is in your court, and if you don't pick it up, no one else will.  It's that Call To Adventure that Joseph Campbell spoke of, and the way it's phrased always makes me want to stand tall and say, "Alright, I'll do it.  I will place a character on the portal and I will save this land.  Because if I don't do it, no one else will."  It speaks to me, even though I once considered myself smart, and have been around the block long enough to know that a) Skylands does not exist, and b) that thousands of other kids will step up to save the world if I don't.
Someday I'd like to sit down with the guy who wrote that, and tell him how I reacted in a Pavlovian way every time I heard that recording.  I hope he knows what the devil I'm talking about.

Rish Outcast 22: Ask Me No Questions (An Unexpected Journey)

Fan and friend of the Dunesteef, Tom Tancredi, recently sent me a list of questions, expecting me to answer each one.  I did so, in my usual, verbose, over-long fashion.

Well, as the hours, days, and weeks passed, it seemed prudent to share them with everyone (i.e., all four of you who listen to the Rish Outcast).  This, technically, should've been an episode of the Podcast That Dares Not Speak Its Name, but because I recorded the intro in the car, my lawyers say I must refer to it as an Outcast.  Thanks, guys.

To download the episode, right click HERE and save to your dee-vice.

Almost There . . . Stay On Target

Wow, I haven't blogged in a long, long time, the calendar claims.  It seems like I was just on here, writing a bunch of words no one would ever read, but it was apparently weeks ago.  Also, my hair has gotten longer than the last time I checked.  Should I see a doctor, do you think?

Anyway, last time I wasted your time with my typing, I had begun work on a sequel to "Birth of a Sidekick."  And then somehow, it was April.  I don't really understand it myself, but February and March were each apparently only two weeks long.  Is this how life is going to be from now on, with the days, months, seasons, and decades getting shorter until the morning where I hit the Snooze button and wake up to find someone new is President, and popular music has miraculously gotten even worse?

Anyway, back to writing.  I have quite enjoyed writing BOAS 2, I write four or five days a week, and  have been limiting myself to using "apparently" only once each paragraph, but I'm still not quite done with it.

But I am close.  This thing has gotten bigger and uglier than I ever guessed it would get.  At around the halfway point, I realized I could probably quit there and call it a story in and of itself, and then the second half of the story could be a third story.  Do any other writers do that kind of thing?*  I think at that particular point, the sequel was already as long as the original story, and when I wrote the second half, it turned out to be twice as long as the first half.

And I'm still not done, apparently.  The big confrontation with the bad guy has yet to happen--I meant to start on it today, but I sat on the toilet and emptied the trash instead--and then the story is going to end so abruptly that any reader who stuck with me that far will rue the very day I was born.  That's the plan, anyway.  And after that, I'll have to a) type up the damned story, b) try to fix all the problems with it, and 3) attempt to give it a more Western flavor, at least as far as description and dialogue go.

My plan is to have the story finished this week.  After that, I've got a story for a contest to write.  I've already got the idea (and I sketched out how it would end on a Post-It note at work the other day, only to find it in the trash can when I came back from lunch, so that apparently bodes well).  As all contest stories are, it's supposed to be wicked short, so that should make my job easier.

The "Birth of a Sidekick" sequel has not been a chore to write (though that doesn't mean it's inspired rather than terrible), but I have been tempted, a time or two, to set it aside and start work on the story for the contest, since that may well be easier.  Or more fun.  But at the writers symposium I went to . . . let's see, it feels like eight to ten days ago, but the calendar claims it has been seven weeks . . . one of the speakers really stressed that you must stick with the project you are currently working on, no matter how distracted you are by shiny new ideas.  He said that a writer works on one project at a time, finishes one project, and then can reward himself (or herself) with that second project as soon as he/she's finished.

Apparently.  So I'm going to take his advice, just this once, and keep to the plan,  After those two projects are done, I will possibly have time for one more story before I take up Big's challenge of writing a novel this summer.  And for that . . . I vow to limit my "apparentlys" to one per chapter, at most!

Rish "Ostensibly" Outfield

*Obviously, the writers of BACK TO THE FUTURE, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, and THE MATRIX 2 & 3 know what I'm talking about.  Except what they did was worse, even though I like 4.5/6th of those movies.

Rish Outcast 21: Metacast

Rish talks briefly (alright, semi-briefly) about the point of the podcast and ruminates a bit about creativity.

To download the episode, right click HERE and save to your infernal device.

Rish Narrates "The Early Conundrums" by Kristine Kathryn Rusch on Audible

Last summer, Kristine Rusch put out a collection of her "Spade/Paladin Conundrum" stories, which I had done the audio versions of.  Her agent asked me if I'd like to record the audiobook for the collection as well.  Now, I'd been told before (and many more times since then) that novels sell much better than short stories, and that a collection is closer to the former than the latter.  So, I was excited at the prospect (especially since I had done 80 to 90% of the work on this already, so in a way, it would be like free money).

I'm not sure what, exactly, happened between last summer and February, but I finally got the contract to produce the audio, and within a couple of days, I had the whole thing done.  It contains a new introduction by the author (which was oddly enjoyable to record, since it reminds me of the Dunesteef and my own author's notes), and the five extant Spade/Paladin stories, "Stomping Mad," "The Case of the Vanishing Boy," "The Karnikov Card," "Pandora's Box," and "Trick or Treat."

It's available at this link.

I know I pooh-pooh the whole money-making aspect of writing and audiobook work, but it would be pretty grand if this sold a lot of copies, because a) I would find ways to spend the cash, and b) Rusch might feel the push to write (and publish) more of these convention detective stories.

And then we can collect those into a second collection, hopefully not titled "The Humdrum Conundrums."

Writing Update - The Notebook (but not that "The Notebook")

I did mention a few weeks ago that I started on a sequel to "Birth of a Sidekick," which is a story I published, audio-booked, and podcasted, but feel free to buy it anyway.*

Well, I do continue to work on it, nearly every day.  It's already eclipsed the size of the first story, and shows no signs of stopping.  In fact, there was a point last week or so where I realized I could just write "The End" and continue the narrative in the next installment.  It may actually have been a wise choice, but ah well, I forged on.

I'd say I'm about at the two-thirds point, and if I haven't finished it by the end of the month, then I'm even lazier than I realized.  I'd like to talk about the story's theme, and how having a theme in mind changed the way the story went, but I could easily do a whole post about it (and how I'm scared it's gonna be nearly novel-length, even though it's not supposed to be), but I don't want to be here all day.

I do need to finish the dang thing soon, though, because I went ahead and entered my name for the Masters of the Macabre contest (for the fifth time), and this year, they want an audio drama (with other voices, sound effects, and music in it), which is, frankly, more ambitious than 90% of writing contests.  And maybe even for me, we'll see.

In a related (semi-related?) story, I finished out my notebook this week.

Now, I guess I should explain why this is--if indeed it is--significant.  I write my stories longhand in spiral notebooks.  I do this because I am too distracted when I'm at a computer, and because my experiences with laptops are almost wholly negative.  I keep planning on getting a new laptop, and use it only for writing (which is easy to say, and damned difficult to actually pull off), but for now, I write my stories on paper.  It's frustrating for the (few) people who want to read my work, though, because there are no easily-shareable ways of letting them read the stories, save scanning, photographing, or transcribing my scrawls.  In fact, I vaguely remember asking once if somebody wanted to try their hand at typing up one of my stories, so that I wouldn't have to do it, and I can't remember if there were any takers.

Regardless, doing my writing in this way is pretty darn inefficient, in that it's all in one single location, so if I lose the notebook (as I did with the one I took to work, and wrote "A Lovely Singing Voice" in, only to find it again months later), those pieces are gone forever.  I like to think that I get an easy rewrite when I sit down and type up the stories, but it's actually an easy way to get typos into a second draft, when I should be cleaning them up.  Also, people ask me how many words I've written on something, and unless I go through and count them (which I've only ever made the mistake of doing a time or two), I'll never know.

Even so, it is pretty great to have filled another notebook, and to soon start up on another one.**  This is gonna sound self-indulgent (but hey, it's a blog, what else are they for, unless it's to generate ad-revenue, which is even more self-indulgent, you arrogant, money-hungry bastards), but Tom Tancredi recently asked me about claiming to write a lot of stories, so I thought I'd take a moment to look through it, before it gets tossed in the closet and covered with dirty clothes, like the last two notebooks.

I don't know if you can see this picture or not, but it's of the first page, the folder part, of the notebook.  It's got a printout of an old (unfinished) story, "Training Program" there, and then a list of stories in the notebook, with asterisks by the ones that were actually completed.  The next page starts with the story I was calling "Baby Talk," from where I had left it in the notebook before ("Who the hell are you?" Alex asked me.  I couldn't help but laugh.).  But here's the project list from that first page:

Unreleased
Baby Talk/Say Uncle
Sin Eater (western vampire story)
carnival story (Mick Attends)
space opera
Caller I.D.
Parsec song
Unconventional
Greetings From Sector 19 (squad report george lucas)
percy jackson/devil daughter story
christmas zombie story 2 (TRU)
Caller I.D. sequel
Balms & Sears
The Gold Bug
Subtext 2 (text from dead students story, "Callback?")
Van helsing script
Murdertown 1 Mile
A Lovely Singing Voice (rewrite)
plane crash (alt history tale)
From Another World
3 witches tale (Expected Visitor)
Lost & Found (teleporting boy story/Finder of Lost Children)
Annabel Lee
Unpleasant Truths
Superman-type tale
Birth of a Sidekick sequel

That's quite a bit there, no?  It didn't include author's notes and journal entries and additions to pieces like "The Calling" and "Like A Good Neighbor" and "Last Contact" and who knows how many ideas for stories that never went anywhere.  It made me realize that I wrote "Caller I.D." to please some longtime reader of my blog, and I never put it out there.  I really ought to do that soon.

Remind me.

This third photo is just of a random page in the notebook, with three things on it: a list of stories I might put into a collection called "Something Weird," a half a page from "Sleeptalkin' Gal" where Eli watches the episode where Kevin calls the pretty girl on the phone (this part didn't make it into the audiobook version, unfortunately), and the beginning of a story I wrote for a contest, which will eventually be published as "Greetings from Sector 19," but was there called SQUAD REPORT GEORGE LUCAS (sadly, this story won that particular contest, I type with head lowered in shame).  It's got the names of the two main characters at the top of the page (to keep them straight), and the date of the story has 2041 crossed out, and 2106 replacing it.

Writing can be difficult, but boy, can it also be fun.  As I complete this notebook, and continue on with my BOAS sequel, it's remarkable how enjoyable this tale has been to write (at least the first draft; I may be horrified by how bad it is when it comes time to type it up and start fixing things).  My worry had been that this story would be boring, and that it's overly long, but I think I had those same fears on the first one, and people seemed to like it quite a bit.

Dean Wesley Smith's attitude has been: put out all your stories (for people to buy and read), and if one is bad, figure out why it was, and focus on not doing that in your next story.  I wish that I could follow his instructions/commands to the letter, and self-publish ever single one of them, happy to spend the money, and not care if somebody dislikes one or two (or all).

I am working on it.  Seven of those above stories have seen publication, so I'm not completely pathetic.  I dunno.  I do like the whole notebook thing, though I'll admit that it's not as efficient as it should be, and I really ought to become more efficient.

In my blog-writing as well.

Rish "Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook" Outfield

*This probably ought to be its own post, but I just wanted to say that SOMEBODY'S been buying my audiobook recordings over on Audible.  It used to be that I'd log in there, discover I hadn't sold anything, and if I was lucky, I'd find the number increased by one when I'd try back in a week.  Now, though, it increases every time I log in.  I wouldn't go so far as to say I sell a copy a day, but it's darn close.
And that's a pretty good feeling.  I've got one more book finished, and I just reached the halfway point on a second Dean Wesley Smith book (in narration--the easy part, not in editing--the uneasy part), after which I will begin another E.C. Tubb book.  All of which should add up to more sales.  If I can keep this up--and the sales continue--I could effectively retire and live off royalties, oh, somewhere around 2051.  Not bad, eh?

**Right now, I'm using the aforementioned "Lovely Singing Voice" notebook, which I used to keep under the passenger seat in my car, and would fish out only when I got an idea for a sketch or a song to use on the Dunesteef.  There's still an abandoned Valentine's Day 2012 sketch in there that would be a fake commercial for "Love Songs For One," which would've been a bunch of songs about eating, dancing, and sleeping alone.  Also, an abandoned Barbie sketch (a Batman parody, "Barbie Begins"), which I tossed when Liz M. stopped working on Dunesteef episodes.

Rish's Performance of "Suns of Liberty: Revolution" available on Audible

Seems like a long time ago, but I narrated a superhero novel by Michael Ivan Lowell called "The Suns of Liberty: Revolution," and that book is now available to purchase over at Audible (and I assume other places).  Here be yon link.

This takes place in a future America ruled by iron-fisted corporations.  A sort of superhero rises up and challenges the authorities, and soon, others are inspired by his example.  But the government develops super-soldiers of their own, as well as a weapon able to wipe entire cities off the map.

You know how I feel about superheroes, right?  If you feel the same, check it out.

Rish

Rish Outcast 20: Creature Feature

Rish presenta otra historia que perdió una competación hace poco.  

Rish presents another of his recent contest-losing stories, this one entitled "Creature Feature."*  One-time TV newswoman Carly Page arrives at an old lighthouse with a plan to interview the man who lives there, but actually hopes to catch a glimpse of a sea monster.

With luck, maybe Renee Chambliss will join Rish on this one, or Fake Sean Connery will treat us with a song.  Either one, but surely, not both.



To download the episode, right click HERE and save to your dee-vice.

*Aka "Lighthouse View."

The Pros of Cons

            “Do you see all these people?” Tom said, holding the boy close.  They’d made a quick run to the bathrooms, and both gone “to the potty,” then washed their hands.  At the drinking fountain between the restrooms, Tom had been reminded what it had been like as a young man, being around fandom in a setting like this.  The comradery, the knowledge that what thrilled and fascinated you had the same effect on these people, the reassurance that, at least for a weekend, you were surrounded by friends.

            He tried to explain this to the boy, hoping Gino would understand his point.  “Even though we’re all strangers to one another, we all have a connection.  We’re all the same, in a way.”

A week or so ago, I went to a local annual convention (actually, it was more a conference or a symposium, one intended for writers, but still a couple of people dressed as anime characters or steampunkers) that has been going for twenty or thirty years now (I first went, semi-begrudgingly, in 1996 or so).  I hadn't been there--despite the mutha happening practically in my own backyard, in many, many years, but an old college friend of mine mentioned it to me (along with, "Do you still write?  You were the best writer!") and I started thinking about it.  My friend Jeff was going to go (it was he that first dragged me to it back during the Clinton Administration), but then he sort of lost interest (because he no longer writes, or harbors dreams of being a writer), and by then, I, knowing myself, feared I would regret it if I didn't go.  I was talking to Renee Chambliss, and she suggested I be a man and just attend the damn thing, alone or no.

So I did.

I can talk a bit about the content of it later, but the thing I wanted to mention, the whole reason I'm blogging this right now, instead of audio editing (which is just as fun as it sounds), is that, at the end of the symposium, I saw people--writers, amateur or professional--saying goodbye to one another, hugging, and actually shedding tears that the event was over for another year.

It gave me pause.

The above two paragraphs are from my short story "Unconventional," where a newly-divorced geek takes his little boy to his first (and last?) comic convention.  Is it a great story?  HellifIknow, but the above IS a great sentiment.  (And you're welcome to pick up a copy, available at this link)

Watching those people hug and get all emotional spoke to something in me, who had gone to the Spockdamn thing by myself, and had the opportunity to go to this thing (which was cheap, nearby, and surrounded by free parking) for the last half-dozen years, and never even considered it.*

I will definitely go next year, and will try to find another con between now and then to attend.

Last year (2014) was the first year I was unable to go to the San Diego Comic Con since I started attending back in 2005.  I'm still a little angry at them because a) they sold me a Thursday ticket and a Sunday ticket, but wouldn't sell me a Friday or Saturday one, b) refused to give me a refund on those two tickets when I let them know I couldn't go and wanted to cancel, and c) even though I paid for said tickets, they refused to let me register for the '15 show early because I didn't technically attend the '14 show.  Bastards.

But it really was disappointing not to be able to go last summer (it's my one yearly vacation, and I had to be content that I did drive to Las Vegas with my friend for a couple of days in January), and when it came time to try for SDCC 2015 tickets, I discovered I desperately wanted some.**  

Anyway, I like conventions.  I ought to go to more.  Did I say that already?  I ought to get in some kind of writer's group, be around people who try to create with words.  I ought to make a friend or two.  Or ten.

But yeah, I ought to take advantage of the conventions that keep happening around here (I suppose I live in a fairly affluent area, if they can afford to have four to six conventions a year in the state).  I looked up another one in May, and I ought to decide right now to attend it, since a) I can afford it, and b) I'm surely have nothing better to do that weekend.  The question is whether I (also) dare go to this one alone.

Rish "Conventional" Outfield

*I also had to ask myself the question of whether I was actually a writer, with aspirations to BE a writer in the future, because the people around me really did act like they were writers, taking down notes in addresses like it was the farligging Burning Bush that was speaking, and planning to write (and sell) several books this year.

**Though, in the spirit of full disclosure, I didn't want them enough to call in sick at work so I could be home to try to buy some.  No, I pretended to be an adult, and was there for my whole shift, even though my boss made me feel less than 100% welcome.

Leonard Nimoy - Peace and Long Life

A couple of minutes ago I got a mysterious text from my cousin.

"The ship out of danger?"

Most people would be puzzled by this (or maybe they wouldn't, since most people text a lot more than I do; perhaps they'd just think it had auto-corrected wrong, or like the texts I sometimes get from Marshal Latham that are actually intended for his wife, that it was a mistake), but I'm a Lieutenant Commander in Geekdom, and I instantly got the reference.  At the end of WRATH OF KHAN, Spock's first question to Kirk is that.

I was to text back, "Yes, Spock, you saved us all."  But before I could respond, my cousin texted:

"Long live Spock."

And I pondered that for a moment, trying to figure out if my cousin was at home, watching "Star Trek," or if . . .

And then I knew.

Turns out Leonard Nimoy died today, at the age of eighty-three.  He had been ill for a while now, suffering from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (which he claimed was due to years of smoking).  He was taken to a Los Angeles hospital earlier this week, but allowed to die at home.  Despite the title of his first autobiography, he will forever be remembered as Mister Spock.

But he WILL be remembered.  I can't think of a more iconic actor to represent geekhood, and the millions of people "Star Trek," and specifically Spock touched, influenced, and inspired.

I met Nimoy several times, starting in 2000, and he was always serious, calm, and classy.  I highly doubt anyone will remember me that way.  I actually got to work with him once (on an Aleve commercial I got booked on because I fit their casting call for "dumpy, geeky, unattractive men").  Did you see the ad?  He is at a Sci-Fi convention (not specifically, a "Trek" show, so as to be license-free and way cheaper) and his arthritis is acting up, and he's worried he won't be able to do the Spock salute to his fans.  But he takes, like, eleven Aleves, and sure enough . . .

He was also on "Fringe," and hosted "In Search Of," and voiced Galvatron in TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE, and did a season of "Mission: Impossible," and directed THREE MEN & A BABY, and recorded that awful "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" song, and was in the excellent remake of INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS.  But few are talking about that right now.  Why does Mister Spock mean so much to people?  Why did I pause and start blogging almost as soon as I  got that text?  Why was I so moved to hear Zachary Quinto's tribute to him, where he said, "I will miss you every day.  May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."?

I don't know, exactly.  That's probably an essay in and of itself.  It could be that Spock represents the ideal alien--a benevolent, wise, cultured alien--of an optimistic future.  It could be that he speaks to those who feel like outcasts, who feel they stand alone, even among a crowd of people.  It could be that he exemplifies Smart People, who are educated and understand math and science and have brilliant minds, especially in a society that devalues that sort of thing.  It could be that he is always so extremely competent and smarter, stronger, older, and more respectable than James Kirk, and yet it is Kirk who always get to score with hot mini-skirted women.

But maybe it was Spock's humanity that made us love him.  He kept emotion and humor and passion bottled up deep inside, but it would occasionally come out, much to our delight.  My fondest Spock moment is in my fondest "Star Trek," the second movie.  In WRATH OF KHAN, bombarded by a fatal dose of radiation, he says, "Do not grieve.  It is logical.  The needs of the many outweigh . . ." "The needs of the few."  "Or the one."  I particularly love the moment right before that where Spock, blinded  and dying, pauses to straighten his uniform top before addressing Admiral Kirk.  "I am," he says, "and always shall be . . . your friend."

In his book, Star Trek Movie Memories, William Shatner talks about the Paramount test screenings of that film, before they added "Remember" and the coda on the Genesis world.  He describes the fans weeping in stunned abandon at the death of Mister Spock, prompting reshoots to put at least the POSSIBILITY of Spock's return in there.  I wish I could see the movie that way, just once.  It couldn't possibly make WRATH OF KHAN any better, but it would feel so very different.

But now he really IS gone.  And he lived a long, long time (well, eighty-three seems old to me), ask me again in twenty years--though you may have to do so via ouija board--and I may have changed my mind), but it's still sad when somebody admirable, famous, and/or great passes away.

This is a photo I took the last time I saw him, at San Diego Comic Con.  We spoke briefly about the reboot movie (I asked him if it surprised him that it made so much money, and why, he supposed, it had done so well) and even though there was a line (and he had been doing it for forty years), he was patient and friendly.

My cousin gave me a copy of "These Are the Voyages" recently, a three-volume examination of the making of the original "Trek" series, and I found it (and the other two books) fascinating, for lack of a less-Spocklike word.  I became much more fixated on "Star Trek" and its lore this year, and my appreciation for (and frustration on behalf of) the Original Series only grew.  So, the death of Spock came at a pivotal moment for me, with it on my mind and heart.

Midway through writing this post, my cousin asked if I wanted to go to lunch, and we got together and spoke of Spock and "Star Trek," and though I'm sure it was baffling and/or irritating for the diners around us, I quite enjoyed our conversation.*  I hope many, many other fans like me took some time to remember Leonard Nimoy today, and the contribution to our psyches and entertainments and passions.

Here is an image from my favorite episode of "Star Trek," "Amok Time:"

You may recall that as the episode when Spock undergoes the Pon Farr, the burning of the blood when a Vulcan must mate . . .  or die.  Spock defies Starfleet orders (and those of his captain), taking the ship to his homeworld to meet his would-be mate (who desires another man), and coldly pits her paramour Spock against Captain Kirk in order to win her affections.  Unable to control himself, it appears Spock has murdered Kirk, and must go back to the Enterprise, where he will resign his commission and submit to being court-martialed.  The Vulcan leader, T'Pau, gives him the standard farewell greeting ("Live long and prosper"), to which Spock says, "I shall do neither, for I have killed my captain and my friend."

But when Spock returns to the ship, he discovers that Doctor McCoy gave Kirk an injection that would make him only appear to be dead.  At this revelation, Spock expresses a rare moment of happiness at the discovery that his friend, Jim, is still alive.

Well, there you go (I have to head to work now, having already made myself late).  Leonard Nimoy.  He has been, and always shall be, our friend.

Rish Tiberius Outfield

*I came up with a concept for another Abramsverse STAR TREK movie, in which the Enterprise encounters a doorway into the Mirror Universe, where the Romulan Nero never disrupted the timeline, and not only does the planet Vulcan still exist (albeit as a subjugated nation of the Terran Empire), but Christopher Pike is still alive and captain of the I.S.S Enterprise.  I know you can write and sell some fanfiction on Amazon nowadays, and I wonder if it would be worth it to try.

Rish Performs "Older Wiser Time Traveler" on Far-fetched Fables

If you're like me, then you often pick your nose, even when you have a handkerchief nearby.  Also if you're like me, you really enjoy time travel stories. 

I got to narrate one recently for the Far-fetched Fables podcast.  It's a short story about two time travelers having a conversation.  It's called "Older Wiser Time Traveler," by M. Bennardo.

Here's the link: http://farfetchedfables.com/far-fetched-fables-no-44-john-d-brown-and-matthew-bennardo/

Podcasts are cool.