I just finished reading "The Royal Assassin" by Robin Hobb, and I realized a terrible thing: it was the first book I had finished in 2026. It is March, and I have only read one book.*
There
was a Saturday Night Live sketch years ago of a game show called "What
Have You Become?" where the host (I think it was the German actor from
Bond and INGLORIOUS BASTERDS) would ask each contestant, "What have you
become?" and they would realize they had had all these aspirations, all
these dreams they had once pursued, and now . . . they were nothing.
They break down in despair, then he moves on to the next contestant. It
was not a brilliant sketch (I vaguely remember the last contestant, who
was actually happy being a stay-at-home mom asking the host what he had
become, and he reacts the same way.
But dude, what have I become? My sweetest friend.
I
like to read, very much, and I work . . . holy R.I.P. Jennifer Runyon,
in a bloody library. But I don't ever do it, or hardly ever. I
probably read as much as I write, and you know how good at that I am.
I heard the other day that writer Dan Simmons had died, and I told myself, "I ought to read The Terror
again sometime." But at the rate I'm going, that will never happen. I
never make the time to read new books, much less books I've already
read.
And last year, I told my buddy Jeff about "Dungeon Crawler Carl" when I was reading it,
and he read all seven books in the series before I had even finished
that first one.**
I guess it's not too late to try to do
better--and I do tend to read for an hour or two every time I go to the
cabin in the summer--but I suspect this is the worst year on record for
me and reading. That being said, I just checked out a book at the
library (a 350 page T. Kingfisher book), and I will do the best I can to
get it finished in less than three months. Maybe even two.


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