It has been a surprisingly (disturbingly) warm January around here, with several days in a row above freezing, and two where the temperature reached the fifties, which is, say, fifty degrees warmer than you'd expect in January. What is this, Arizona?
That may be terrible news for crops and polar bears, but fine news for a dumb would-be writer who goes running in the dark every day (okay, night). A couple of times this week, I've turned right a block early, trimming my run from the customary 1.6 miles to 1.4, and one of these times (it might have been Wednesday night), as I ran past somebody's house, I noticed that they had a Volkswagen Bug parked on the street, and that there was a fun half-circle of ice formed on the ground around the car. It had been there long enough, I assumed, that all the snow on the street had melted, but the shadow of the car had kept a perfect oval of ice on the pavement. It really amused me, and I thought that I should turn around, go back, and take a picture.
I didn't, because seeing the ice in the shape of a VW Beetle would only make me smile, and literally nobody else.
But I kept thinking about how interesting and unique that was, and that a poet or an optimist would make something of it.
Then, the next night, I ran the regular route, skipping that road, but noticed, on the next street up, that where there were trucks and rectangular cars parked, there were also perfect half-circles of ice formed in their north-facing shadows. It had nothing to do with the shape of the car, just the way shadows work. And that bummed me out.
A poet or a pessimist could really make something of that.
Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In January: 2639
Gino Moretto continues to make new artwork for my story "podcatcher." Here is the rough sketch he made (I didn't understand why he would just scrap the work he did the day before, but apparently, that's how his artistic process goes), which is probably way more detailed than the first one, but I liked much less.*
Of course, once he added cross-hatching (I think that's what it's called) in an effort to mimic the art of Edward Gorey, it started to come to life.
I had suggested that his arms be stretchy, like he's part tree, but not like Mr. Fantastic (or Elastigirl, I suppose, if you're a DC fan [which is a joke, sorta]), and I must admit, I love that the trenchcoat is falling apart. I never describe what he is wearing in the story, and sort of imagined he was naked (something about a man standing naked in the shadows in a parking lot is upsetting to me, though your mileage may, of course, vary), even going so far as to draw a . . .
Well, never mind. I need to go into the text and mention he's wearing a hat and coat, something he found or claimed from one of his victims, a retired commodities trader named Paul O'Dowd Junior who was found half-in and half-out of a St. Louis dumpster in 2008. Too much detail? You may be right.
In the end, I decided to go with this cover instead:
That's a joke. Turns out there's a podcast out there called "Podcatcher," and it has killed far more listeners than the creature in my story ever did.
Push-ups Today: 50
Push-ups In January: 1973
I just finished reading a book last night by a first-time novelist and there was a cross-promotion with a Naomi Novik book, so I went onto Amazon to see what it was about (cards on the table, I also finished a Naomi Novik book--"Throne of Jade"--this week). And right under the description, it said, "Other authors you might like," and the first entry was Brandon Sanderson.
So, out of curiosity's sake, I went to "Fifty Shades of Grey" on Amazon, just to see if it would still try to push Brandon Sanderson on me. And the first author to come up was Stephenie Meyer.
No comment.
Words Today: 463
Words In January: 15,952
*I wanted it to look REALLY sketchy, like an Edward Gorey drawing, or how Tim Burton draws things like Stain Boy and the Boy With Nails In His Eyes. I even considered it being an artist's sketch on a website, under the listing of podcatcher. If I had about six . . . hundred more Patreon supporters, I could just pay Gino and others to do covers for me.
We've talked about this before, no? The writer friends (or "friends," if you don't count acquaintances) I know talk about the immense amount of money they spend on cover art for their books, and one of them constantly goes in the hole on covers, just hoping the books sell well enough over the following year to one day start making a profit. This is absolutely horrifying to me . . . though I understand that the cover is more important than anything else in getting somebody to buy your work.
It reminds me of an email I got from eBay years ago where they wanted me to change my return policy from seven days to fourteen or thirty. The email said, "Why accept returns at all? Numerous polls have found that a return policy is the second most important element for eBay users in making a purchase, after free shipping." And that made my head spin. People care more about free shipping than the condition of the item? Than its size or color? Than whether it comes from a non-smoking environment, is coming from China or America, is official or a knock-off, will take three days or a month to arrive, is new or used, is cursed or blessed? Double-you Tee Eff, sir.
I did extend my return window to fourteen days (and in 2021, the shortest it can be is thirty days, but I haven't changed all of my listings to comply yet), and offer free shipping on about half of my items, but I still think about that once a week or so (this was two or three years ago I got the offending email).
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