Rish Outcast 323: Writers Conference Report 2026 1

The yearly writers conference that Rish goes to has come and gone, and somebody somewhere wanted an episode about it. Be careful what you wish for, son.

In this half, Rish asks "Am I arrogant?" He encounters the author of "Dungeon Crawler Carl." He attends a panel by a writer that hogs all the attention, he gets in a bit of a sticky situation, and he goes to a panel with a magical technique to improve your writing . . . or has Rish got brain damage?

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Logo by "Dungeon Crawler Gino" Moretto.

One Book Down

I just finished reading "The Royal Assassin" by Robin Hobb, and I realized a terrible thing: it was the first book I had finished in 2026.  It is March, and I have only read one book.*

There was a Saturday Night Live sketch years ago of a game show called "What Have You Become?" where the host (I think it was the German actor from Bond and INGLORIOUS BASTERDS) would ask each contestant, "What have you become?" and they would realize they had had all these aspirations, all these dreams they had once pursued, and now . . . they were nothing.  One by one, they break down in despair, then he moves on to the next contestant.  It was not a brilliant sketch (I vaguely remember the last contestant, who was actually happy being a stay-at-home mom asking the host what he had become, and he reacts the same way), but it seems relevant now.  

Because, dude, what have I become?  My sweetest friend.

I like to read, very much, and I work . . . holy R.I.P. Jennifer Runyon, in a bloody library.  But I don't ever do it, or hardly ever.  I probably read as much as I write, and you know how good at that I am.

I am partway through another book I have been listening to in the car, but it is a miserable experience, the narrator absolutely ruining the main character every time she opens her mouth, but because I'm two-thirds of the way through it, I am unwilling to quit on it completely--to admit defeat--because all I'd have to do is give it an hour or three more, and I'd have two books read this year.

I heard the other day that writer Dan Simmons had died (which is sad--he was highly underrated), and I told myself, "I ought to read The Terror again sometime."  But at the rate I'm going, that will never happen.  I never make the time to read new books, much less books I've already read.  

And last year, I told my buddy Jeff about "Dungeon Crawler Carl" when I was reading it, and he read all seven books in the series before I had even finished that first one.**

I guess it's not too late to try to do better--and I do tend to read for an hour or two every time I go to the cabin in the summer--but I suspect this is the worst year on record for me and reading. That being said, I just checked out a book at the library (a 350 page T. Kingfisher book), and I will do the best I can to get it finished in less than three months.  Maybe even two. 

*Plus, I wouldn't even have finished it not been a warm afternoon so I dragged a chair outside and read until it was too dark to see anymore, then forced myself to finish it before I did anything else (otherwise, it might even have been April).

**Now, that's not to say I should compare myself to Jeff in all things.  After all, he reads two or more books a week.  Also, he is planning to retire within two years, and I plan to die penniless (and soon).  

Podcast That Dares 68: The Number Thirteen

Rish presents M.R. James's 1904 spooky story, "The Number Thirteen." A historian in Denmark stays in Room 12 of the local inn . . . but who is in Room 13? And is there even a Room 13?

Rish then talks and talks about the ending of the story (and so should you).

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Logo by Gino "Thirteen Ain't Nothin But A Number" Moretto.

Sidekick Chart 4

The last day of the month was a Saturday, and luckily, most of my family had gone out of town.  I had the choice between trying to write at the library, or sitting down and recording a chapter or two of my novella, "A Sidekick To Miracles."  I chose the recording, mostly because it was the end of the month and I'd have to admit defeat on my Patreon address (again), and I already had failed in my exercise goal for the first time in years, so I sat down and checked my recorder.  I had just under five hours of recording time left.

I did Chapter 5, then Chapter 6.  I thought about quitting then, because I had done alright and I could raise the red in the bottle.  But I still had space to record, so I went on to Chapter 7.  Then there hit a point where, despite my lofty insecurities about my own writing abilities, the story started getting really good.  I did Chapter 8 and Chapter 9 without taking a break.

I checked, and I had forty minutes left of space to record, so I continued until that time was gone.  And then I deleted a couple of files so I could keep recording.  I ended up going all the way to the end and was delighted to discover that I was getting a chance to voice an adult Ben Parks (something I've never done, and even forgotten I had written).  The story, while not perfect, and not even great, is at least good, and I can rest from my labors knowing I actually accomplished something I had set out to do.

For once.

P.S.  Okay, okay, I didn't accomplish the sample part, but that's for editing audio anyway, so eff you.

Hit Me With Your Best Aught

If you were unfortunate to have seen my recent post about having a hundred Fake Sean Connery song quote videos over at Instagram, you may have observed that the decade of the 00s (or Aughts, as people smarter than me sometimes call them) had been practically ignored.

I figured I would try to remedy that, so I went online and looked up the biggest hits (on Billboard) for those years, and yikes, what awful, awful songs.*  I guess it's not a wonder that I started listening to talk radio, Oldies, and--gasp!--Country music during that era.

I also looked up Rolling Stone magazine's list of the Top 200 songs of the 2000s, and while I only recognized a fraction of those, there were a bunch more tracks I would consider "good" on that list (my impression from the Billboard list is that relatively few hit songs made it to Number 1, then hung on to the top spot of a while, hence there's not as much variety there.**  And out of curiosity, I checked and "A Bar Song" by Shaboozey is the current record-holder with nineteen weeks at the top).

My point is, I'd like to do more songs from that decade, but I found maybe one single song I liked enough to feature.  Do you have songs from the 2000s that Fake Sean could quote?  Let me know in the comments, or if I have already passed by the time you read this, via Ouija board.

P.S.  No, the Shaboozey song is not TECHNICALLY the longest-running Number 1 on Billboard, but don't be a "Well, ackshually" guy.  You're better than that.

*That is, when I even recognized them.    

**And what they claim to have been the biggest hit of the year 2000--"Breathe" by Faith Hill--never actually made it to Number 1.

Rish Outcast 322: The Dark Gift 2

Finishing the presentation of "The Dark Gift." Thanks to you. People are finally starting to notice Nobie Miller . . . a lot of people at the Pickle Days carnival. And they're noticing her a lot.

Rish goes to a pretty dark place (no pun intended) with the discussion afterward, but also explains the main character's ridiculous name (still not as bad as the majority of Gen Z names are--Braxton, Oakley, Addison, Jaiden, and Rayleigh--I'm looking at you).

Warning: Wilson Phillips.

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Logo by Gino "The Slightly-Tanned Gift" Moretto.