July Sweeps - Day 546

This is the final day of July.  Maybe I can do something special with my writing toda--

Nope, the day's already over.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 3049

There was a toy show a couple of towns over that I was, pretty embarrassingly, quite excited about.  I was going to take my nephews, and that became only one nephew, and then that nephew went to summer camp this week, so it became just me and my cousin.  But to our surprise, his daughters* wanted to come along at the last minute.

So, I spent most of the day hanging out with my cousin and his kids.  They are well-behaved and it was uneventful.  The toy show was so small and casual that we had seen pretty much everything there was to see within an hour, so we left around lunchtime, and never went back.

The other day, Big Anklevich told me he really wanted the Mrs. Incredible/Elastigirl action figure that came out at the beginning of the year, and I told him I hadn't seen one in months.  He said, "Well, if you have one, or ever find another one, I want it."

To my surprise, there was one at the Target we went to after eating.  And that makes me wonder: Have I been seeing them this whole spring and summer and haven't noticed (because it's not a figure I want), or did this one just happen to show up, five to seven months later, when I happened to be looking for it?

Of course, the third option is, that Big's desire WILLED it into being.  Just in case, I'm going to ask him to really want a hot neighbor to move into that empty house on our block.

Push-ups Today: 202
Push-ups In July: 3399

Why do I get the feeling those vintage Star Wars toys aren't as rare as we've been led to believe?

As far as writing goes, it seems like I always end each month with a whimper.  Must be psychological.

Words Today: oh jeez, 307
Words In July: 27,617

*He's got three of them, not quite as horrifying as the four daughters the main lady on "Evil" was saddled with, but still . . .

July Sweeps - Day 545

I swear I wrote a blog post today.  But why couldn't I find it, and what would it have been about?

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 2949

So, when I was at the cabin yesterday, I noticed a new fawn--fairly small--lying in the grass across the way.  I went up to the main window, got out my camera, and took a picture of it:

The photo didn't turn out well, because it was just too far away, so I zoomed in a little, and just as I took the second picture, a butterfly landed on the glass right in front of me, almost like it was trying to attack me or startle me (or at least mess up my picture).

I took a step back and took a picture of the butterfly too.  Not because it was all that interesting, but because so little in my life is.

Push-ups Today: 66
Push-ups In July: 3197

There's that audio drama over at Horror Addicts that I lent my voice to, and they put out another episode.  That reminded me that the writer/director always has to get on me to get my lines to her, and even then, I'm usually a day late.  So, to show initiative, I grabbed my recorder and the script for the next episode, and sat down to record my lines . . .

. . . and my character wasn't in that episode.  

But that's not even the worst part.  The worst part is, she'd also sent me the script to the next episode, and I looked that over, and my character Uncle Etau is all over that one.  But because it's not due for another few weeks, I didn't bother doing my lines and put the recorder away.

There may be a reason I'm so unsuccessful in life.

Words Today: 1771
Words In July: 27,310

Marshal, Big, and Rish Discuss THE EWOK ADVENTURE

 

Hey there, over at the "Delusions of Grandeur" podcast, there's an episode with Marshal, Big, and Rish talking about the 1985 TV movie THE EWOK ADVENTURE (aka CARAVAN OF COURAGE).  Was it as good as the boys remembered?  And what if Marshal didn't remember it at all?

Check it out HERE!

July Sweeps - Day 544

I awoke before my alarm, but well after dawn, and actually wrote more before I would normally have gotten up than I did all day yesterday.  That gives me liberty to do what I like today.  And that will include recording a short story (probably in the main bedroom, which seems the quietest--there is a clock ticking here, the sounds of the roof ticking and popping above me, and whatever sounds come through the closed windows).  I can hear some construction equipment down the road working on a new cabin, and it's practically loud enough to shake the walls--amazing.  

If I were a true professional, I'd go down to my dad's room in the basement--where I never go--because it is a cold, dark room with absolutely no windows or warmth, and might actually be like recording in an audio booth, since it's practically a vault rather than a bedroom.

The dank room

Well, I waited too long.  Just now, there was a boom of thunder--shockingly, louder than even the construction equipment--and as I sat, watching the fawn play in the grass next door, the sky darkened, and the rain is going to be coming again.  If I had gone down and recorded my story, instead of blogging about Indiana Jones and trying to edit audio (for a story I will never release in audio--I mean, there are stories I finished the audio of over a year ago that I have never put out.  Which is a monumental waste of time, in my opinion.  Like this blog), I'd be halfway through (or close to done) before pausing and saying, "Was that thunder?  Wow, that must have been loud!"

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In July: 2849

The other day, I mentioned Indiana Jones in my blog, and how successful INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL was (even a dozen years later, that title is a bit of a stinker), and yet the franchise just sits, like a banana cream pie that no one has eaten, turning more and more brown, for absolutely no reason (of course, Steven Spielberg is the reason, just as George Lucas was the reason we didn't get a fourth Indy film for nineteen years).

And I thought, "Hmm, maybe I could write an Indy story.  Set it between TEMPLE OF DOOM and RAIDERS, and put it out next year around the time the new movie is released."  It just seemed fun.

Push-ups Today: 201
Push-ups In July: 3131

Does elevation affect the rate of decay?  I ask because, as I've mentioned (ad nauseum), it is much harder to run or do push-ups here in the mountains than it is at home (and I have to wonder if it would be even easier out on the coast, at sea level).  Well, a month or so back, I bought a loaf of bread to make sandwiches with, and I forgot it here at the cabin and didn't come back for a week . . . but I was surprised that it hadn't gotten moldy.  At home, bread is usually going bad if not eaten in four or five days (heck, donuts tend to get stale after two days, in my experience*).  But here, they were fine, and I believe might have stayed fine if I had left them here another week.

Anyway, I bought a loaf of bread last week and left it here again, and there's no mold, no discoloration, and I'm going to eat some sandwiches with it, for a late lunch.

Lunch was late because, as soon as the thunder started repeating, I went downstairs and recorded the story for the future episode, then discovered the battery had died, got a new battery, finished the rerecording, and decided to just do an episode for it right now.  Only then did I eat.

I feel like I accomplished something today, besides playing four games of Solitaire and taking a half hour nap.

Words Today: 1259
Words In July: 25,539

*And hey, could I do it over again, I would dedicate my life to the study and appreciation of donuts.

July Sweeps - Day 543

Well, I'm back at the cabin.  I've gotten no writing done today, but I will.  That idea I got last night is worth at least five hundred more words.  

It was extraordinarily rainy today on the way to the cabin, to the point where I had to drive fifteen miles per hour in a 65, and turn the wipers up to their most frenetic, and the vehicles ahead of me were shooting up sprays of water off the highway that were ten feet high.  The rain was astounding, even heavier than it was last week, when the road flooded and my brother's neighborhood tried to wash itself away.  I suppose that means good things for the drought at least.

It also meant darkness and cold came early, and I didn't come close to recording the song I had planned since the week before.  At the lake there were a record five boats out and about (or oat and aboat, if you're Canadian.  Or a boat).  I got to a spot where the water level was low enough that nobody was boating or fishing, and only then realized I hadn't brought the tripod to put my phone on.

I had even worn my favorite shirt (for the first time this year).

It was my uncle's shirt, who died in 1990, and eventually I grew enough that it fits me, and it has never worn out.  It's so beautifully Eighties that people often claim it was patterned on the title sequence for "Saved By The Bell."

Still, I did my running, then my traditional wander-around-trying-to-get-a-wi-fi-signal, and watched a YouTube video, then ran back to the car around the time it was getting too dark to run and the owls were hooting out in the woods again.*

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 2849

I said I would write five hundred words today.  But now it's midnight, and I'm still at zero.  This could be it, sweetheart, as the man said.

"And some days it don't come easy, and some days it don't come hard; 
Some days it don't come at all, and these are the days that never end."
                                                                                              Meat Loaf

They say, if you write when your imagination is on fire, and you write when the words are coming so slowly it's like milking a cucumber,** after it's all put together, no one will be able to tell which parts were inspired and which parts were sweat-work.  But it's little consolation tonight.

But hey, few words are better than none, technically.

I did push-ups and did sit-ups tonight, and both of those should be harder than writing, but I guess the muscles are different.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In July: 2930

It's the end of another month, and one of my goals for July was to finish my Lara and th--"When You Need It Most," I have to remember that that's the title (as awful as it is).  Well, I'm not going to achieve that, but I never expected it to be this long anyway.  I hope me from a month ago is proud of me, still keeping it going, even on nights like tonight (when I don't want to do it).

That reminds me, last August, I recorded a podcast where I asked myself questions (on August 2nd, 2020) that I intended to answer on December 2nd, and then changed my mind and decided to answer them in a year, on the first or second of August, 2021.  I think the questions were about the pandemic, and writing every single day, and a certain long-gone girl.  I very nearly sat down to record the second half of that interview right now, but there's no chance I would get any words tonight, if I did that.  Still might not.

Words Today: 403
Words In July: 24,280

*Honestly, they're like an alarm clock or something for me now.

**The science is a little off on this one.

Rish Outcast 202: Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar

Rish presents the Edgar Allan Poe story, "The Facts In The Case of M. Valdemar."

To download the episode, just Left-Click HERE.

To support me on Patreon, go RIGHT HERE.

Logo by Gino "Edgar Allan" Moretto.

July Sweeps - Day 542

I got very little work done today.  You could say I'm lazy . . . heck, I say I'm lazy too.

I sold two items that I absolutely couldn't find, and it kind of demoralized me.  So I got online and watched the new GHOSTBUSTERS: AFTERLIFE trailer . . . and got remoralized.

I'm not the world's biggest 'busters fan, but I do really like the first movie, and was one of only two movies pre-driver's license I saw twice in the theater.*  

But it's a fine film, and I was surprised to be emotionally moved by the new trailer--partly because it featured kids that didn't appear to be absolute pieces of garbage, but also the filmmakers seemed to nail the tone and nostalgia in this one.  We'll see at the end of the year.

I wasted a long stretch of time on Friday reading about the various versions of GHOSTBUSTERS 3 that almost happened, and it made me a little bit sad, wondering what might have been.  But if they pull this off, if it's as good as it has the potential to be, then I'll be happy to be the kid I was in the summer of 1984 again, for an hour and a half at least.**

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 2849

Tonight, I told my cousin I would see SNAKE EYES with him, despite having no interest in it.  I didn't see the previous two GI JOE movies, and I didn't even see the one Sunbow put out in the late Eighties, after my much-beloved TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE.  But my cousin went to see the zombie flick with me, and said he'd see JUNGLE CRUISE with me, so I figured I'd bend on this.

And it was alright.  The first hour or so was pretty good, I thought, because I'm not very familiar with Martial Arts films (in L.A., my friend Matthew showed me all of the Bruce Lee films, which I enjoyed, but never would've sought out on my own), and I liked some of the world-building, even though I was confused by all the names (I have an incapacity to remember Asian names, which totally ruined my attempt at reading "Battle Royale").

Eventually, the movie becomes more of a G.I. Joe-related film, and my enjoyment largely fled.  The violence was so toned down, I wondered if that was Hasbro's influence, trying to sell toys to young boys, and indeed, I would've classified it as PG territory, rather than the (tepid) single use of the F-word by the Baroness, in order to secure a PG-13.  Literally hundreds of people die in the movie, but so bloodlessly and ineffectually that it might have been the cartoon trope of having a deadly weapon in your hand, but merely punching your enemy out when you encounter him.

It did, however, make me wonder who SNAKE EYES: GI JOE ORIGINS was made for.  Was it intended for longtime fans of the franchise (such as BLADE RUNNER 2 or a Kevin Smith sequel), or was it intended to draw in an entirely new audience that was too young to have cared about the older stuff (such as the barely-aforementioned GHOSTBUSTERS: ANSWER THE CALL)?  That makes me wonder about Kevin Smith's "Masters of the Universe: Revelation," which I mentioned the other day.  Was that made for fans of the Eighties show, or designed to appeal to young people who know almost nothing about He-man, Skeletor, and Teela?

I'm not going to be too harsh with the Snake Eyes movie.  It didn't hate it, and there were elements (like gigantic snakes and magical crystals) that appealed to me.  I fear it was unsuccessful enough to once again stall the franchise, which has to be a disappointment to the many toy collectors and Joe fans out there.  You see, even though TRANSFORMERS (2007) was a gargantuan, Insecticon-buzzing turd (and apparently went downhill from there), they made an astounding amount of money, and that's what determines the future of a franchise, not its Rotten Tomatoes score.***

Push-ups Today: 50
Sit-ups In July: 2764

You know, I'm just gonna have to be okay with not writing much today.  I edited a podcast, all the way through to the end, went ahead and published it, and that took about two hours, and hey, I'm fine with saying that that took precedence over the writing today.  Like the days where I get my sit-ups and push-ups in, but don't manage to go on a run.  No big deal.

Funny thing is, immediately after typing this, I got an idea for one last scene in my story, before I have to make my Big Choice (which decides how it ends).  And I just started writing the scene, even though I didn't want to write anymore.  Weird.

Words Today: 766
Words In July: 23,520

*Oh wait, RETURN OF THE JEDI got reissued in '85, and I did see it a second time then.

**I did already hear from one person who didn't like the trailer.  His argument was, basically, "I thought GHOSTBUSTERS was supposed to be a comedy."  Well, you got a comedy five years ago.  And in 1989.  Maybe we could try something else, see if that helps.

***And see, that's the baffling thing about INDIANA JONES 4.  It made so much money as to be one of those films that launches careers and keeps people rich for the rest of their lives, and yet it was not followed up on, rarely mentioned in conversation, not continually marketed (honestly, there's probably as much Indy merchandise produced each year as there are for THE LAST STARFIGHTER or LOGAN'S RUN).  I honestly don't get that.  Deep down, I probably love Indiana Jones more than I do "Star Trek" and Marvel, but there's never anything new to throw my money at.

July Sweeps - Day 541

I'm back in the library now.  I've been blogging for a while, then writing, then back to blogging.  I might go back to writing again, but we'll see.*  Speaking of which, I did a word count on the current project (once again, I've forgotten the name), and it's over forty thousand words now, which makes it officially a novel.  I should be proud, but I'll reserve that feeling for when I get to the end.

Which reminds me: Abigail Hilton sent me a message yesterday, saying that she's finished her most recent novel in the Refugees Trilogy (what I think of as "The Scarlet Albatross Trilogy"), and that she'll send it to me to narrate in three or four months.  That thrills me to hear.

It thrills me because her books are really good, thrills me because Abbie's a friend of mine, and because she pays me to do it.  Oh, and it's so nice to do narration where I can just focus on the performance and not on revisions or improving the text.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 2749

I just heard a male voice whisper, "I know you're not real" here in the library.  It was enough to make me look around, trying to see if they guy was alone or talking to someone.  It was NOT the crazy guy from the other day, but just a normal-looking college student type.

He has headphones in, though, so maybe he's not being tormented by ghosts or demons or the ghost of Rosie O'Donnell.*

I went back to my usual routine with the exercise today, going on my 1.6 mile jog, doing the sit-ups and the push-ups.  And it didn't kill me.  Yet.

Push-ups Today: 200
Sit-ups In July: 2830

Words Today: 566
Words In July: 23,877

*I actually wrote a tiny bit as soon as I woke up this morning, which is really unlike me.  I wonder if the most successful writers write first thing in the morning.

**I realize Rosie O'Donnell is still alive, but that name just came into my head.  I put a line in my Lara Demming story about the late singer Adele, just meaning to be another of my "Characters In My Stories Aren't Geniuses" jokes, but boy, I'd feel bad if she really did die.  Because of me.

July Sweeps - Day 540

Well, July is pretty much over, and that's too bad.  Yes, it's been hot, and fairly miserable for one and all, but I will miss it--traditionally the last month of pure summer, with no back-to-school shopping or classes commencing, with long days not yet getting shorter (although they are, technically), and still possibilities.

I went to a toy store today, and a guy came in, absolutely fuming about the new "Masters of the Universe" series.  The poor guy wanted to vent--to strangers--about how much he hated the new show, how betrayed he felt by Kevin Smith, and how Mark Hamill should've known better (having experience denigrating a beloved character by appearing in THE LAST JEDI and RISE OF SKYWALKER).  I hadn't watched "MOTU: Revelation," but I had heard a lot of anger and outrage and spoilers and condemnation about it over the last three or four days.

The clerk at the store did not engage with the upset fanboy, but I made the mistake of saying, "A lot of people on the internet sure didn't like it," because the guy followed me around the store, going on and on about Teela and Orko and Skeletor and He-man and Kevin Smith and how the show premiered on his birthday and it was a present he wished he could return.  

I took off as quickly as I could, hoping that I have never sounded quite like that guy (but I'm probably exactly like him, only not as tall), and called Big Anklevich at work.  This was the second week in a row he's had to work on his day off (somebody quit, and they hired a new person to replace him, and then she quit too while they were training her), and to my surprise, because of the Olympics, he could talk as long as I wanted.  We ended up on the phone for two good hours, and he basically kept me company as I went from store to store, finding nothing, but still managing to run down my gas tank.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 2649

It was a week ago I fell down during my run, hit the sidewalk, and fell onto the street, and I'm pretty much recovered (except for my knee, which isn't even worth taking a picture of).  I thought I'd show you what my palms look like a week later, but really, the only time they hurt is when I grab something in the wrong way* and put pressure on the edge of the scabs.  

Except for on the dam (during daylight) at the cabin, I have not gone running again since it happened, and if I had been less busy tonight with work (I listed eighty-three figures, only about seven of which will probably sell), I would've picked today to resume my run (guess I could still go out later, if I wanted to, but I am skittish about running in the dark again--I could just stay off the sidewalk: both times I've fallen while running have been when I got off the road and onto the uneven sidewalk).

Instead, I rode my new bicycle around the cul-de-sac with my nephew (he's got this little red push bike with no pedals--I don't know what they call them), and then asked if he wanted to go to the bike trail beside the park and do it again, only with his big boy bike (with training wheels).  He was amenable, and my sister had to go to work, so I loaded the new bike and my nephew's into the bed of the truck and drove us over there).  There were a ton of people biking, skating, and jogging on that path, and it made me want to go jogging there myself sometime, just to be around other people.  Maybe tomorrow.

My nephew was really fun, though of course he couldn't keep up with me, even in my slowest gear.  He also didn't understand staying on our side of the trail, and weaved back and forth like a high school guidance counsellor itching for another D.U.I..  And then, after about eight or nine minutes of riding, he proclaimed that he was done and we should go home.  So we turned around and left.  Still, it counts as exercise--and even if it technically doesn't, I'm counting it.

Push-ups Today: 116
Push-ups In July: 2630

Words Today: 1123
Words In July: 23,311

*My grandmother used to warn me about grabbing it in the wrong way, but I have to admit I didn't pay too much attention.

July Sweeps - Day 539

Wow, it was quite a day today.  If manual labor is the price I pay to have a family cabin, then I put in a good payment today.

We woke up early and drove down to the cabin (my mom, sister, brother-in-law, me, and his three kids, all jammed into the same vehicle), so we could work on this big project my brother had dreamed up: because there has been a lot of drainage and some visible settling of the ground behind and right next to the cabin, he was going to dig a two or three foot trench there, fill it with gravel, and then cover it with dirt again.  This would be a multi-person, possibly multi-day job, but we were going to give it our all.

One of two gravel hills.

Sit-ups Today: 60
Sit-ups In July: 2549

Oh, I meant to tell you about the weasel.  I had left it in the trap on Thursday, covered it to protect it from the sun and rain (with the tarp you can see there), and gave it a little food).

Sadly, the weasel had figured out a way out of the trap in was in since Thursday, because I had shown everyone the video, and the kids were excited about feeding it.  Even my brother said, "Well, there's no reason to kill it; I suppose we could let it go."  Of course, ground squirrels are cute too, but not cute enough, apparently.

My brother had seen two weasels frolicking in his security video, so it's possible the free weasel busted out the incarcerated one, they went over the wall and they're holed up in a dive until the heat dies down.

Push-ups Today: 66
Push-ups In July: 2514

The work was considerable, and I probably did more manual labor today (July 24th) than I ever have before, even digging a ditch for five dollars an hour when I was fifteen.  My brother had brought his miniature backhoe from work (they use it to dig trenches for powerlines, I suppose), and he was as adept with that thing as Leonardo the Turtle is with nunchucks.*  Seriously, he could make it go up and down, back and forth, scoop and release like one of those Henson Workshop guys making Yoda come to life.

While he did that, the rest of us would shovel gravel into one of two wheelbarrows, and the men (and my sister) would push the wheelbarrows up the hill to the back of the house, dump the gravel in the trench, and take it down again.  Rinse and repeat.

I wore gloves pretty much the whole day, not taking them off unless I absolutely had to (and I feel that was smarter than usual for me), though I still ended up with a blister on my thumb from all the shoveling.

After not too long, my Uncle John showed up with his family, and he and his wife also shoveled gravel.  After he got started, John started into that macho competitiveness he's so known for, and began to insist on the wheelbarrows be filled higher and higher when he was carrying them to the back.

The fruits of our labors

And then my brother got an idea: why not use the backhoe to fill up the wheelbarrows, so we didn't have to shovel?  He's so good with it that it took him less time than it did for all of us and our shovels to fill them up.  And the work went faster after that.

And then my brother got an idea: why not use the backhoe to fill in the trench he had been digging?  This was toward the end of the job, in the afternoon, when he had dug the trench all the way down the driveway and into the woods.  And then the work went so fast, I sat down and typed a few words on my story.

So, the work got done, and even though my brother did the lion's share, his was with a machine--a sort of John Henry versus the Steamshovel kind of thing.  I admire my brother a great deal: he works really hard, he seldom complains, he will never get fat, and he seems perfectly content without a wife and children.  

The new gravel trail

I have never had much of a work ethic--or maybe that's just my father talking--but all of us did what we could today, and I was particularly impressed with my sister, who was just as sweaty and dirty as the rest of us.**  I was very tired and sore when the day was done, and when my mom asked me to help her move a mattress, and couldn't quite get my fingers to grip it tightly enough to lift it over the railing to drop it onto my sister below (okay, that's a joke--we deliberately tried NOT to hit my sister).

Then, all of a sudden, it was time to go.  I had survived and the job was done.  Of course, there's still half a ton of gravel left from one of the piles, but at least we got rid of the pile that was blocking the driveway.

Words Today: 610
Words In July: 22,188

*Alright, goddammit, I looked it up, and it was Michelangelo that used that weapon.  And they're called nunchaku, apparently.

**She did pay for it, however, having to wake up to take a Tylenol or something in the middle of the night.  Same as me.

I Perform "Knock, Knock, Wolf" on Pseudopod

Back in May, my man Shawn Garrett over at Pseudopod, The Horror Podcast, sent me a story by Peter Galalis called "Knock, Knock, Wolf."  He thought it would be a good fit for me.

I don't disagree.  It's a story about an old woman who is put in the unenviable position of protecting her village from a wolf that walks on two legs.  Since I love witches AND werewolves, narrating a story about both was right up my alley.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure I pronounced the last name of the writer right (even after asking).

Check it out at THIS LINK.

July Sweeps - Day 538

I am back at the library, and will probably do no writing at all.  This is why I come, but I consistently find other stuff to do (like blog) instead of putting words to (virtual) paper.  I guess I don't deserve to be a professional writer (which you already knew).

Still, I worked until my computer warned me that the battery was getting low, and it needed to be plugged in soon (I so rarely go that long that I was unfamiliar with that warning).  I checked, and it said there was still twenty-three minutes's worth of charge on the battery, and the library would be closing a couple of minutes before that, so I figured I was safe.

Unfortunately, about ten minutes after that warning, the computer shut itself down, right in the middle of a sentence, so that was that.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 2489

Today was Kayla the Twin's last day at work, as I mentioned the other day.  She seemed unhappy about it, so I didn't want to bug her (we're not REALLY friends, you see, despite me having mentioned her a full dozen times over the past year).  But she's always been nice, so I did approach her before leaving to thank her for answering all my twin questions and to tell her my life was better for having known her.  I only got the twin part out before she surprised me with a hug and said, "No problem.  I'm glad to have known you."  That seemed so close to what I was about to say that it totally shut me up.  

I told you she was nice.*

Even though my palms have healed to the point where I can use them like normal, my knee keeps giving me trouble, especially when I try to do push-ups (you would think you'd have no need for knees when doing push-ups, but try it without sometime, would you?).

Push-ups Today: 60
Push-ups In July: 2448

I was just going through my story (I've already forgotten the title . . . again), and made a couple quick revisions (changing a word or two, adding clarifying sentences), and I found a moment where Devon Archibald calls Lara "Lara."

Whoops.  You see, she doesn't go by Lara Demming at that school.  Her fake name is Andi McAllister, and Devon can't know her real name, or it throws a big ole monkeywrench into the whole thing.  It's the sort of dumb mistake I'm sure I would've caught before I published it, but . . . what if I hadn't?  I talked in my podcast about doing an audiobook where the author got the main character's name wrong for an entire chapter, right?  And I realized it wasn't a new character later and had to go in and redo the lines for that earlier chapter?**  This could've been something bone-headed like that.

I wonder how many mistakes like that show up in my writing, never caught by me, but maybe caught by a reader (or two).  It's hard to be a writer.

Words Today: 806
Words In July: 21,578

*The sister must be the evil twin.

**T'was the last time I volunteered to do one of his audiobooks, figuring I wasn't being paid to be both narrator and editor.

July Sweeps - Day 537

Today was the first time I didn't wake up before my alarm here at the cabin . . . maybe ever.  Now, technically, I did wake up around three-thirty to go to the bathroom (and turn out the reading light I'd had on, trying to finish the library book that was due and I haven't returned yet), but I don't usually count that.  I guess it's a sign of getting older that I now wake up in the middle of the night to pee about five times a week.  But I actually enjoy it, because I'll look at the clock--usually it's between five and six--and know that I can go back to sleep, and that pleases me greatly.

There was another ground squirrel in the big trap when I got here yesterday (the other traps were empty), and it was still alive and energetic.  I have three options when I find them in there: I can shoot them (what my brother does), I can leave them in there to die, or I can let them go.  And don't tell my brother, but I'm never gonna shoot them, and four times now, I have let the rodents go.

He would be upset by this, because there was lots of fresh poop and pee on the deck this trip (I can't just guess it was build-up over the two weeks I hadn't been here, because he comes on Saturdays, and I'm sure he would sweep it off the deck if he saw it, so my guess is, it was pretty fresh).  But what I have done lately, is grab the trap, take it up to the lake with me when I go to sing or take pictures or watch a YouTube video (yeah, that has become my sad tradition of late, so I'm really no better than Pol Pot or Pinochet*).  In the past, I have taken the trap in the car with me, but they tend to smell pretty strong, so this time, I put it on the trunk, in between the window and the spoiler, watching to make sure it didn't slide off.

So, when I had managed to turn around and leave, and made my way to the lakeside, the trap did slide a little, though, and scratched the paint back there, so maybe my brother was right once again.  I let the critter go, and brought the trap (it's the biggest one, so it barely fit on my front seat) back here.  I didn't reset it.

But it doesn't matter, I awoke this morning and found a second ground squirrel in a trap, this one rattling and squeaking, having just found itself with no way out.**

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 2389

I recorded my little sketch, and it just doesn't work with me doing both parts.  I wrote it for Renee Chambliss (the waitress's name is Renee, unsubtle that), and it seems stupid, hearing me call myself ma'am and miss (which, now that I look at it, are not all that interchangeable.  Hmm).  So, I'll see if she'll do the part.  I'm sure she'll agree, but I feel like I have a brother-in-law who's a doctor, and I'm always bugging him to look at my tonsils or moles or bunions.

I edited a bit of the audio of my story "Meet the New Clerk, Same As The Old Clerk," just so I could free up some space on my recorder (it's full again), and came across the line "Meeshelle sometimes heard disembodied voices when she used the telephone."  And that gave me pause.  Voices on the telephone are always without body, aren't they?

Push-ups Today: 50
Push-ups In July: 2388

As is my tradition, I listened to Marshal Latham's podcast while I made sandwiches, and found myself commenting and interjecting as I always do, even though he is a recording and I am (sort of) real life.

I grabbed an anthology book I got at a thrift shop years ago that I always keep in my suitcase (in case of, you know, being stranded somewhere or boredom or hiding from natives or something), and read through a couple of old stories (presumably in the public domain), hoping to find one I could use in my next episode, but neither story was for me.  One had an ending so telegraphed that I was actually expecting there to be a twist there, but nope, it was exactly what you thought it was.  The other was super British, and all the interesting bits happen off-camera.

I sat down and recorded some podcast for use in the next episode, but it was meandering and long and not at all what I had intended, so I will have to rethink (yet again).

I didn't want to leave, but it started sprinkling rain around seven o'clock, and I felt like I ought to leave if it was going to rain harder.  And it did rain harder, so hard, there was crazy flooding.  During my drive, the highway got flooded out, with three or four inches of brown water running from the mountains and across the road (I slowed down to about fifteen miles an hour to go through it, but there was another car on the side of the road that had gone through it too fast and soaked their engine).

I have mentioned the ghost town that lies underwater you have to drive through to get to the cabin.  Well, the water had risen so high there that it too was crossing from the ponds that were once people's yards, and onto the road.  There were police cars out to help people who got stuck or stranded.  

And when I got back to town, I learned that my brother's street was so flooded that children were using inner tubes and canoes to go up and down the block.  None entered his house, though (he doesn't have a basement, for some reason, though most houses here do).

He took this photo from his front yard.

Now I'm home.  I'm too tired and too stupid to do any writing today.  And yet, every day for a year and a half I have done what I could, and I'm too stubborn to go to sleep without writing.  Feeling pretty angry at myself now, though.

Alright, I'll do SOMETHING.  Happy now?

Words Today: 753
Words In July: 20,772

*I originally wrote Hitler here, but hey, he gets referenced a lot--let's let other dictators get some time in the sun.

**Well, as I got ready to leave, I discovered it wasn't a squirrel at all, but something much cooler--a weasel.  It seemed noticeably smarter than the squirrels do, but did screech rather startlingly when I got close to it.

July Sweeps - Day 536

After choosing not to come to the cabin last week (which feels like yesterday or MAYBE the day before) so I could hang out with my friend, I'm back again today.  On Saturday, the whole family will be coming up here again to do work (this time filling in the trench that is forming along the side of the house by the woodpile), and I hope that my hands are healed enough by then that I will be useful.  My brother hired someone to bring two dumptrucks' worth of gravel up here on Monday, but they dumped one of them right on the driveway, so there was no way to get out of here after I'd driven in.

I did a, I dunno, twelve-point turn trying to turn my car around and get out of here when I went to the dam, and mildly scraped the back of my car on a tree trunk, and I don't know what we'll do on Saturday, when there's three or four vehicles up here (after I came back from the dam, I pulled only halfway up the driveway and left the car there, so I could just back down the hill when it's time to go tomorrow--I guess we'll all have to line up like that this weekend).

I wanted to add something to the next episode, which I've finished editing, but only came to about twenty-nine minutes.  I thought I'd record Fake Sean doing "RESPECT" by Aretha Franklin (the song I was going to record the day that she died, but chose "A Natural Woman" instead), but when I went through it, it wasn't nearly as amusing as I thought it would be (the "Sockittome, sockittome, sockittome" bit was fun, but that's back-up singers, not the main guy).

So today, I was trying to think of what to do.  After watching the Italian Poe adaptation last week with Jeff, I had grabbed a copy of Poe's "The Black Cat," and I sat down and recorded that, but I felt like a) I had already recorded it at some point and forgotten (which IS possible), and b) didn't want to put out two Poe stories in the same year, let alone back to back.  It's a fine story, and it was really fun to act it out (I did one part super big, then I went back and did it again, trying to squelch my bombastic tendencies, and it ended up sounding like that Michael Emerson guy from "Lost" and "Person of Interest," and I think that made it better), but you probably won't hear it for a while.  Maybe I'll give it to Marshal and we can do an episode of his show about it.

I'd still like to record something (Keith Teklits suggested I do something by Stanley Ellin, who I hadn't heard of, and I looked him up, and his most famous story is "Specialty of the House," which seems like a delightful short story, but was first published in the Forties, and can't possibly be in the public domain.  We'll see), and though I wrote it to do with Renee Chambliss, I think I might do the Bryan Adams sketch I wrote last year, lost, and rewrote.

But that reminds me.  I was at the library two weeks ago, and up in the Reference section, I found this book:

It is a big, two volume set of Urban Legends retellings, and it made me excited (not sexually, the other kind).  I have always loved urban legends, especially the spooky or disturbing ones, and to find two thick books on the subject got me pretty aroused (not the other kind).  Unfortunately, because they were "reference" books, they are not to leave the library--you have to look them over while you're there, although they have a study room I could go into and peruse them in private.

So, I was thinking it might be fun to do a segment called "Uncle Rish's Urban Legends Corner" or something on my show, where I share a couple of those and talk about them.  Then I could stick a couple of them in (not sexually, the other way) whenever an episode is running short.  What do you think of that idea?

Heck, I could just look those books up and see if they're cheap enough I could just buy them, and wouldn't have to stoop to sneaking in the library with a recorder and covering them that way.

Sit-ups Today: 150

Sit-ups In July: 2289

I've been trying to do extra sit-ups to make up for the fact that my body's not ready for push-ups quite yet, but I really ought to start doing a lot of both again.

As is my tradition, I drove up to the lake about an hour before sunset (it was super overcast, though, so it got dark almost as soon as I got there).  I did my little run, up on the dam, up and then back, and suffered no ill effects.  There were two people down by the lake, fishing, and though my eyesight wasn't clear enough to make them out, I got the impression it was a father and son (of about eleven or twelve).  

Then I watched a YouTube video--the signal appearing and disappearing over and over again--and wondered if the weather affects how strong a signal you get is.  Would clouds affect a signal?

I discovered a feature on my phone to make animated gifs, so I tried it as the sun was setting.  Let's see if it will post here:

Anyway, after the fishermen left, I stood there, on the dam, in the semi-darkness, and just listened to the night.  Once again, there were owls back-and-forth hooting, which is always an exotic, magical sound to me.

Push-ups Today: 50

Push-ups In July: 2338

Right now, I'm sitting in my chair at the table, typing, and looking out the window I can see the mostly-full moon peeking through the clouds (a lot of clouds today).  It's not hot and it's not cold, and I have a single window open to just let air in, and all is quiet.  

One day, I don't know how far in the future, this will all end (my sister was saying that, when my mom dies, this place will be too expensive to maintain, and we'll have to sell it, and I don't know why that would be the case--my brother is the one who pays to maintain it now, since he makes good money and takes pride in this place, and I can't see that changing when he owns it outright [or split three or four ways between us siblings]--but there are plenty of other reasons why I wouldn't be able to come up here anymore, and it's upsetting to contemplate them), and I'll remember moments like right now, typing and pausing and hearing nothing but the buzz of the kitchen light (it always makes this ugly inner city powerlines sound, when none of the others do, so why did I turn it on instead of a quieter one?), the clicking of the (damn) John Wayne clock, and the occasional crackle of the ceiling beams above me.

Words Today: 1095
Words In July: 20,019

July Sweeps - Day 535

I've got nothing for you today, but that's okay, I'm going to the cabin again tomorrow, and I tend to blog a lot more when I'm outside the range of any internet.  Is that irony?  I never can tell.

I am getting closer to the end of this story.  I just wasted half a page writing about Devon--the boy with magic--having tried to cast a spell on Taylor Swift while watching her on an awards show.  I remember having a little throwaway line about Swift in my second Lara and the Witch book, "You're In Good Hands*," so I thought that it might be a fun throughline if Lara Demming really dislikes Taylor Swift.  No big deal, but I gotta write about something.

I was thinking about my own personal hatred for Jane Austen (I put in a reference to "Persuasion" in an earlier scene) and thought it might be fun if Lara really likes Austen, as most teenaged girls (who know how to read) do.  What I really ought to do, though, is do like some writers (Big Anklevich among them) do, and make a list of character traits for Lara Demming, little bits and details about her, like the colors she likes, the foods she likes, music she listens to, what she'd like to be when she grows up.  I've never done that with her, and now we're on our, what, eighth story with her in it (if you count the non-series stories like "Frewish Memorial" and the one where she turned the kid into a Pop Vinyl), and I don't really know anything about her other than what I make up on the spot.

Gosh, if I wanted to bore you, I could make a list of her characteristics right here.  Stuff like:

1.  Was always jealous of her hot, dumb older sister.
2.  Is afraid of white butterflies.
3.  Hates beets and anything beets-related.
4.  Excels at English, Art, History, Journalism.  Not so much Science, Math, Spanish, Music, Drama, Computers**, Gym.

Well, that killed five minutes.  I dunno, I gotta blog something.

I have to decide what's going to happen between Lara and Devon.  I've been teetering between letting him get away with his many crimes (because Lara decides that he's a good person, and a lot like her), or having him basically convince Lara that he's noble, and then reveal him to be a predator (and she's got no choice but to condemn him).  I know that the latter is the better decision as far as drama goes, but the jury is still out.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 2139

So, you'd be surprised how many parts of the body it takes to do push-ups.  Or at least I was.  So, I banged up my left and right palm, my right knee, and my right elbow the other night.  Well, wouldn't you believe it, you use both palms, knees, and elbows to do push-ups.  Effed up, really.

Push-ups Today: 50 (all delightfully painful, thank you very much)
Push-ups In July: 2288

So, that girl Kayla that is an identical twin (that I used to bother to no end with twin questions) is back from maternity leave.  And she came back just long enough to put in her two week notice.  

This will be the last week I see her.  She didn't ask about the story (was it a book?) I wrote, inspired by her and our conversations, but has always been kind to me and very indulgent in answering the damn questions that I never run out of.

Oh, she seems to have lost all of her pregnancy weight, and I asked if a) her baby and her twin's baby look similar (they don't), and b) if she and her twin have recovered at the same rate (they have, to the point that they're identical again).

I really like when you meet someone, and they make a difference in your life (or just in your day), and then, even though they're gone, that difference remains.  I'd like to be able to be that person to someone, though it seems unlikely now.

Words Today: 1344
Words In July: 18,924

*Holcomb calls her "Sailor Swift," if I recall.

**Do they still teach Computers as a course in school?  I realize I'm so old, they offered Phrenology and Advanced Abacus Studies in my first year of college.

July Sweeps - Day 534

So, today was pretty painful.  I had taped a piece of toilet paper over my torn-open right palm, because I didn't have any band-aids, but it had dried to it and couldn't be taken off without tearing off the scab, etc..  And when I stepped in the shower, every place I had scraped raw yesterday burned as though it was salt instead of hot water spraying down on me.  

But hey, you should've seen the other guy.

Sit-ups Today: 150 (I tried to do extra, to make up for my lack of push-ups)
Sit-ups In July: 2039

You would not believe how often you use your palms during your day to day life, ranging from using them to push you out of bed to pressing toothpaste out of the tube, from shifting a car to getting out your wallet, from opening the refrigerator to pulling on your pants.  Even now, typing is not painful, exactly, but difficult, as I keep typing incorrectly and having to backspace and correct myself.  And where I rolled onto my knee is starting to hurt more, despite it looking rather tepid, as far as bruises go.

Since I absolutely WON'T be running tonight (or even doing push-ups), I should be able to channel that effort into publishing or editing audio, so there's a bright side to the sit--

Oh wait, we're doing another Ewok "Delusions of Grandeur" episode tonight.  Darn.

I did hit the library, and wrote as hard as I could until they made the announcement that they'd be closing in ten minutes.  Then I took off, but as I was leaving, I saw the librarian that I mentioned the other day (the one who tried to explain that Graphic Novels and Comics are not the same, so they're in different sections, despite there being Captain America and Batman books in both sections), when the crazy guy was being all crazy guy next to me.  He did not laugh as I described the situation, and looked at me with suspicion when I got to the punchline ("Sir, there was no one next to you; you were sitting alone.").

Ah well.

Push-ups Today: 10 (I had planned on doing two)
Push-ups In July: 2238

Talk to you later.

Words Today: 1502
Words In July: 17,580

July Sweeps - Day 533

It's Sunday today.  Last night, before I went to sleep, I thought, "First thing tomorrow morning, I'll write, so I get that out of the way, and can do whatever I want to throughout the rest of the day."

It was smart--like when I went hiking the first Sunday of the month instead of the last day (or day after, technically) like I did in June--but of course, I woke up, twenty minutes before my alarm went off, and by the time I remembered it, it was eight hours later.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In July: 1889

So, I took my nephew out with me when getting lunch and looking for toys, and he can be a handful.  He's thirteen, and pretty manic, and everything has to be entertaining for him, so if I have to stop for gas or check at a Walgreens, and there's nothing in it for him, he's pretty bored.  Luckily, he has a phone and headphones he can bury himself in, but that frustrates me to no end.  Because he's with me, I can't listen to my audiobook or buy a single soda, but it's not like I have human companionship or conversation with him there.  

Guess it's like taking a baby with you, just with none of the cuteness.

Still, I know a day will come--and soon--when he won't want to go with me at all (his dad had gone golfing with my brother, and I know my nephew wanted to accompany them, but his dad said he couldn't, so I guess I was the consolation prize), and I'll complain about that too.

We stopped at Little Caesar's Pizza, which is a national (international?) pizza chain that a lot of people (my cousin among them) claim tastes like cardboard (or homeless guy taint, according to Algar Van Cluth).  But I have loved it since childhood, and it was the very first job I got fired from, so there's affection there.  They've also had this excellent five dollar pizza deal since I lived in Los Angeles.  

But this time, not only had they raised the price, but wow, the pizza really DID taste like cardboard.  My nephew said, "Ugh, they forgot to put sauce on it," and wouldn't eat more than a single piece, but I had paid for it, so I was gonna eat it all, by gum.  You know what they say about pizza (and sex), but darn, I gotta question that old dictum after today.

Words Today: 365
Words In July: 16,078

So, I did my sit-ups, then had the option of doing push-ups or going on my run next (this was at about eleven pm), and I chose to run.  It was a mistake.  The run was uneventful, except that it's hot and sweaty even after dark, but right before I reached home--literally within feet of the house, I tripped on the sidewalk and went flying, hitting first the sidewalk on my hands, then rolling off into the gutter on my elbow and right knee.  Cement can be harder than it looks, kids.

Anyway, I have to admit that I was on the ground for a good five or six seconds before I finally collected myself and rose to my feet, shuffling the last five yards or so to the front door.  I had scraped my left palm pretty evenly, and my right palm just in the middle, but much deeper.

It's funny, yesterday I said I wouldn't be doing any more push-ups, and today, well, that pretty much came to pass.  I did try, though, and wow.  I was able to do a few, once I positioned myself right--which was hard--but I couldn't put that kind of pressure on my palms, and when I rested on the floor, I couldn't get back up again.  I tried going through that misery twice, and then said, "Nope, that's it, I'm going to go be asleep now."

And I did.

Push-ups Today: 66
Push-ups In July: 2228

*My buddies and I would get two pizzas between us and eat like kings for ten dollars, and whenever I'd ask the employees how long the deal would last, they would say, "No, no," or "We closing at nine o'clock," or when I'd try to ask the same question in Spanish, would pretend my accent was so strong they couldn't understand me.  Fun.