Sunday, November 14, 2010

Stupid Thing of the Week (sorta)

So, I went out to the local karaoke bar with my sister and brother-in-law last night. I only got to sing two songs, and it was sort of Country night (it seemed), so I chose "I'm So Happy I Can't Stop Crying" as my second song, doing both the Toby Keith and Sting parts.

Nobody cared.

My sister seems to absolutely hate beer (a loathing we share), but her husband drank eight bottles and then shared a full pitcher with a Samoan man, which impressed/intimidated me.* My brother-in-law Dave told me he'd never gotten up and sang before, and that he was going to do so then, but he told my sister to pick a song for him. She did, and he told her not to let him know what it was until it started.

That struck me as incredibly brave. I couldn't do that--as much as I enjoy karaoke, I would be terrified it was a song I didn't know or couldn't sing. I quickly scribbled "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison on a scrap of paper and gave it to the DJ in case Dave was stumped. It was the most protective I'd ever felt toward my sister's husband

Well, when his turn came, Dave got up there, and the music began . . . and sure enough, it was a song he didn't know. So my point is made there. Luckily, his Samoan pal jumped on the other microphone and helped him through it (I suppose all Pacific Islanders know Eagles songs).

But the thing I really wanted to mention was this: at one point, an old woman got up and began crooning a Tammy Wynette song.

A middle-aged woman came up to me and said, "That lady singing is my mother. It would mean a lot to her if you'd get up and dance with me during her song." Well, I figured that was fine, the least I could do as a empirically lonely and self-proclaimed nice guy. We danced our dance (which was a little odd, since there was not another soul out there on the dance floor, plus I dance like a pro wrestler does Shakespeare), and when the song ended, I went back to my table.

One of Dave's buddies came up to me and said, "You just got played, dawg. That ain't her mother, that's just a line she feeds guys to get them to dance with her."

Well played, madam. Well played.

Rish "Ron Got Splinched" Outfield

*What's worst is that he passed out on the couch right after we got home, but STILL got up before me the next morning.

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