Stupid Thing of the Week

I am the world's oldest ten year old. My family went camping this past weekend at a cabin by the lake, and one of the things I try to do every trip is hunt for frogs (and occasionally salamanders) with my six year old niece. I wish I could say she is the instigator on these little outings, but I try not to lie on my weekly blog.

On yesterday afternoon, my niece wanted to ride my brother's four-wheeler (I'm not sure what the technical term for the vehicle is, they just call it a four-wheeler), and while my cousin drove her around, I decided to go frog hunting by myself.

I walked about a mile and a half, off onto the other side of the lake, since we tend to find frogs far from where people fish, walk, or camp. There was a mucky, swampy area there, where, from the sound of it, amphibians like to party, and I took a few steps into it. There was little water at the surface (guess it was underneath somewhere), and the mud was worse than it looked. I went into it, and it quickly sucked me down. After another grunting step, my leg sank past my knee. I found myself thigh-deep in thick, cold mud and realised I couldn't pull myself out.

I laughed at first, 'cause it was an absurd situation. The more I tugged on one foot, the more the other one sank into the depths. I thought, "What if I couldn't get out at all? What if I had to spend the night here? What if I sank further down than I did? What if I was wrong and everybody else is right and TRANSFORMERS was the best movie of the summer?"

Finally, I wriggled around, allowing my feet to slip from my shoes, and clawed myself out of the mud that way. Then I crawled back (only my knees and hands sinking this time) and dug through the deep muddy holes I'd made until I could somehow pry my shoes from their subterranean hiding places.

I hobbled out of the swamp and walked shoeless to the nearest rock and sat down and put my shoes back on. I headed toward the lake, and actually did see a few frogs in the grass on my way. At the water's edge, I just walked in until it was up to my crotch. I tried to wash the mud from my legs and arms and feet, and after a while, I managed it pretty well (my shoes were still filthy and my once-white socks were now permanently brown, but ah well).

I meandered for a while and eventually wandered back to the cabin and my family, where nobody noticed I had gone or was left. If the above paragraphs weren't enough to qualify for a Stupid Thing of the Week, I told them about what had happened.

I am the world's oldest six year old.

Rish "I Brought The Frogs Home And They Got Loose In The Night Somehow And My Uncle Found One In His Bathroom This Afternoon" Outfield