If you had told me, at the end of last year, that I wouldn't even manage to put out one of my stories a month in 2025, well, I probably wouldn't have been surprised. Disappointed, sure, but not surprised.
Friday, August 22, 2025
Bad Luck or Dumb Luck?
Wednesday, August 20, 2025
Rish Outcast 309: MagicClaw
Monday, August 18, 2025
The Truth Nut
A lady approached my desk at work and, without any approbation by me, began to tell me of her time working with the sick and dying in Ecuador years ago. I assumed she had worked with the Salvation Army or the Peace Corps or something similar, but she started telling me about all the people she'd seen with terminal cancer, and that it was actually the CIA that was injecting people with this irreparable cancer, linked to the Covid vaccine, and that it was created in a benign-seeming lab in Saskatoon (which I have to admit I chuckled at, because it's as funny a place name as Lake Titicaca or Toad Suck, Arkansas). When I did, her feelings were hurt and she said, "I know I sound like a nut, but I'm a truth nut!" and started to cry. I apologized, but she wandered away, presumably to look for watch for chemtrails.
Tuesday, August 12, 2025
Rish Outcast 308: In Security 4
The mean man, Rish Outfield, tells more stories about being a library security guard, including:
1. The Vomit and the Unlucky Patron
2. The Guy Who Says That The Library Is For Everyone
3. "I don't know you. Are you new here?"
If you wish to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.
If you wish to support me on Patreon, click HERE.
Logo by Gino "The Pee Wee Kiwi" Moretto.
Monday, August 04, 2025
Fake Sean Fakes The Hits
In college, I got a job--at least in part--due to my Sean Connery impression.* And that's either been a back-pocket talent or a crutch ever since.
Case in point: I've recently sat down (okay, most are standing up) and recorded Fake Sean Connery quoting pop songs for use over on Instagram, the account I made years ago and almost never use, where I wear a Connery mask and say stuff, sometimes profound, usually quite the opposite.
As of now, I have thirty-seven of the suckers recorded (though only thirty-six will be used), and I'll be posting them every day or so for the rest of the summer. You may go over to Fake Sean's Instagram page if you'd like to play along.
In case you're interested, so far, the vast majority of songs have been from the Eighties (the absolute best decade for music, sorry, snobs), but I've tried to sprinkle in older and newer songs, just in case someone without a memory of paying double for New Releases happens upon the page.
And one of the songs I accidentally did twice, which I'll go ahead and post here, just for the novelty.
Hopefully, Real Sean would be stirred. Not shaken.
*The owner said he called me in for an interview specifically because I put it in my resume under Skills.
Sunday, August 03, 2025
I Perform "Dead By Night" on Tales To Terrify
I know I said that last time was the final story I'm doing for the Tales To Terrify podcast, but whoops, here's another one. I was born without a spine, as you may recall.
This time it's "Dead By Night" by Edd Vick. It's very short, about nine minutes long, so they bundled it with another story, "Janelle Is Still Janelle," by Donovan Thiesson. In Vick's story, a young policeman investigates murders at a retirement home . . . in a case where stakes might be more useful than firearms.
Will it be my last? The answer cannot be found HERE. But you CAN probably find out if Janelle is still Janelle.