The World's Most Helpful Employee

I went to Target today, and they had their yearly $7.99 sale on DC Universe Classics figures (normally they are $15.99). Unfortunately, the local store hasn't gotten a single new figure in in months, perhaps not since last year's holidays. What they have on the shelf are figures I've returned (or others have returned), and not a single one that's worth $7.99, let alone $15.99. But I'd discussed this so many times with my cousin that I'd planned on stripping the shelves if they ever went on sale again, in hopes that the store would order some new ones.

Unfortunately, they had three of probably the most worthless figure in their entire series, Cyclotron (it's probably more worthless than the much more-prominent Captain Cold, since he at least comes with a Build-A-Figure piece), and I was torn between buying ALL the figures, and buying all of them except for him. And an employee of the toy department just happened to come by, so I asked him.

"These are on sale," I said. "Should I buy all of them, or is leaving only three enough so that the store will order more?"

"It doesn't work that way," he said, smugly . . . then didn't explain how it did work.

"Okay, how does it work?" I asked.

"The warehouse sends us more when they have more. It doesn't matter if we have them on the shelf or not."

"Oh. But this store hasn't gotten a new figure since 2010. Since they're on sale, will you be getting some new ones in?"

"There's no way of knowing that," he said.

"Can't the manager or somebody order another box?" I asked.

"Nope. The computer keeps track of those things."

This frustrated me, since I was now getting visions of the HAL-9000, and that shitty Michael Bay TRANSFORMERS movie. "Alright, isn't there anything I can do to ensure your store gets some more in?"

"Well, you could buy all the ones on the shelf, if you want," he said.

Sigh.

short story unsale

I got an acceptance letter about one of my stories a few weeks (months?) ago, and was excited that a) someone other than me liked it and b) I'd get to hear somebody produce it for audio. It's a tale I'm quite proud of, and might have been the first story I wrote with a pair of girl protagonists (rather than my typical male ones).

But life is what happens when you're . . . a loser, I guess. So I got an email from the editor who, sadly, can no longer do the story (or any story, it would seem), due to matters beyond her control. That was disappointing to me, mostly because I now won't get to hear how someone interprets and performs the story, but also because it's a rejection in a way.

It ain't world-ending or anything, but it's a bit of a bummer. Of course, a real writer would have already sent it out there to another publisher, in the time it's taken me to write this. Sigh.

Parenting

"The Charter" reading over at Strangely Literal

A while back, I auditioned for a part in a "Firefly" audio drama, and while I didn't get the part I wanted, I got a part. But before the fun could begin, each of the new cast members were sent a short story to record, as a secondary audition, I assumed. Mine was called "The Charter," a very short story set (sort of) in the "Firefly" universe.

Well, I was going through my files today, looking for stuff to delete, and was reminded of it, so I did a search, and I found my reading as part of the "Strangely Literal" podcast, which is a fan fiction publisher of stories set in the Joss Whedon-verse(s).

It's a crossover with a very popular Nineties sitcom, and the story is pretty amusing really, so I figured I'd mention it here. If you like that sort of thing, check it out over at strangelyliteral.com. Tell 'em Badger sent you!

R. "You're killing Independent Rish" Outfield

Stupid Thing of the Week

I was in the grocery store today, and a toddler (maybe three, but probably two) had a t-shirt on that read, "I have the biggest dick in my family."