Jon Lovitz: The Adventure Continues

I ran into Jon Lovitz on Saturday night. We went to the Westwood video arcade (which, like noble buffalo, once roamed this land in numbers too great to count, and now dwindles to scattered, dying populations foraging for food and trying to avoid white man who slaughter them for their horns and tongues), and there he was. He looked great, and was in much better shape than the last time I saw him. He was with a young guy who I thought might be his kid. Well, he looked to be in his late teens, but also looked about as non-Lovitz-like as possible, so I don't imagine it was his son. Might have been, though. He was playing that great mini basketball game Denise Ching Curtis and I used to play until two in the morning, and he was really good.

I was going to approach him, and then I froze. I don't know why, exactly. I've met more than my share of celebrities since moving to L.A., so it can't be that I was starstruck. But that's sort of what it felt like. I thought, "I'd like to say something really funny and/or poignant to him, since he may not have the fanbase he used to nowadays." My mind stayed blank, though. But I remind you: this was no Harrison Ford or Halle Berry or William Shatner or Tom Bosley . . . dude, this was Jon Lovitz. I once had a conversation with Arnold Schwarzenegger, for heaven's sake.

In the end, right before he left the arcade, I just went up to him and said, "Jon, I gotta tell you, before I met you I was nothing, nowhere, nobody." He sort of chuckled, but I don't know if it was because he was genuinely amused, or if he was just being polite. And then he was gone.

I've thought a lot about my turning into a silly stammering schoolgirl, and the best I can come up with is my experience back in 1998 when I first ran into him. He was one of the first celebrities I ever met, he was in trouble, and I did nothing. Well, technically, I guess I didn't do NOTHING; I did write my best friend's wife (who is very religious) and asked if she would pray for Jon Lovitz. I mean, he was one of my favourite "Saturday Night Live" stars when I was growing up, appeared in Big and Mr. Destiny, and seemed like the kind of underdog I could really root for. I don't know, I'm rambling.

My encounter with Lovitz really stuck with me, much longer than it should have, and I thought about it a lot, wondering what I should have done, wondering what a friend would've done in that situation. I even wrote a story based on that experience, and with time, I put it behind me.

It's no big deal, I guess. In fact, I'm wondering if I should even post this. But since I'm still of the mind that nobody reads these things, I'll just let it lie.

Rish Outfield

Is that Bowling For Soup song really that good?

Okay, it was mildly amusing the first time I heard it. But they play it every hour on 98.7, with more regularity than the most devout Islam. I submit to the jury that the song is not all that good. And the more I think about it, the more I think the band is actually making fun of my generation, and that its lyrics are being misinterpreted.

Besides, the name of the band does a disservice to intelligent people everywhere.