The Revenge of the Quordle Quell

The horror continues.  So, I mentioned that Marshal Latham has forever ruined himself in my eyes with his diabolical writing contest, the Quordle Quell.  I may not have mentioned that poor Big Anklevich also entered the contest.  

Well, I was listening to Taylor Swift's new album the other day, and stumbled upon a song called "Karma."  I didn't think it was particularly good, but I remembered that one of the words Big was assigned was "karma," and sent him the song.  He replied immediately with, "Dude, I'm never gonna dig Taylor Swift.  Her teeth are weird to me," and I figured that would be the end of it.  

To my surprise, however, Big not only listened to the song, but it gave him an idea for what to write his story about.  He told me his thoughts, and it's a pretty cool idea, one with fine potential.  Good for him.

As for me, I have neither had any ideas, nor tried for a third time to come up with something.  But I went to Burger King yesterday, and when I got there, the sole employee apologized and said, "I'm super understaffed today, so it's gonna be a while."  I hadn't eaten all day and it was past two, so I told him I'd stick around and he could get to me when he was ready.  I watched him run over to the drive-thru, tell them the same thing, and then go to work on the outstanding orders on his screen.  There were seven of them, all of them blinking red (which I assume means they've passed the corporate-allotted amount of waiting time).  I surfed the internet while I waited, and then he took my order, and got it out as soon as he could.  I ate, and watched the guy run back and forth, telling customers, cars, and a Door Dash girl the situation.

As I finished and prepared to leave, I thought, "What would Marshal Latham have done in this situation, before he lost his soul?"  And so I went up to the counter, and told the guy I would help with whatever he needed, mopping the floors or taking out the trash or whatever.  He said, "Oh, I can't ask you to do that," and I said, "You're not asking; I'm volunteering."  He said, "I already called a guy who's on the way, but thanks anyway."  So I left.

But then I thought about when I worked in retail and how much they hammered away at us to get someone to take those damn surveys from the receipts (one of my managers used to ask us to do it, under assumed names, yet hilariously, I was fired and she was not), so I sat in the car and did the phone survey, answering the questions and giving him top marks.  It was a little thing, but that's what Marshal would've done.

But then, before I drove away, I thought of what Marshal has become recently, what with the Quordel Quell and all, and asked myself, "What would Marshal do now?"  So I shifted back into Park, got out of my car, and threw a big rock through one of the dining room windows.

Anyhow, if you're keeping track at home, the score is Big - 2, Taylor Swift - 1, Rish Outfield - 0.

Rish Outcast 241: Haul Out The New Year

Rish talks about "Haul Out The Holly," the first Hallmark Christmas movie he's watched.  

Then he tallies up all his New Year's Resolutions (and his old ones).

To download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

To support me on Patreon, come on, just click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Haul Out the New Beer" Moretto.

My Voice on "Dr. Tarr & Professor Fether" on Journey Into...

Marshal Latham often celebrates Edgar Allan Poe's birthday by running a story or two of his in January and February.  He's weird that way.  

This week, you can check out his presentation of "The System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether" on his Journey Into... podcast.  I vaguely remember recording lines for this story back when I had a lot less white in my beard, and now I'm starting to look like a professor in a movie from the Fifties.

I haven't listened to the episode yet, so I could be wrong.  But hey, give it a listen, even if I'm not there, you can enjoy the story, can't you?

Check it out HERE.

Rish & Marshal Join The Anklecast (Be Careful What You Wish For)

In the first of a three-part crossover, Rish Outfield and Marshal Latham are appearing in the newest episode of the Anklecast, presenting the first "Be Careful What You Wish For" story (all three wrote one for a contest last year*).  This one is Big's story, "Long Term Memory," about an old man able to time travel back to when he was young (for love, of course).  

Check it out HERE.

*May the best man win.

Exercise Goal Update

Exercise 200 Days in 2023.

I have exercised three more times since the last time I posted, bringing me to a total of 8.  At this rate, I'm not only not going to make my goal for the year, but I'm going to get weaker with every exercise session.

Jeez, it's almost like it's the coldest month of the year or something.

The Horror of the Quordle Quell

Marshal Latham is having another writing contest on his podcast*, this one called the Quordle Quell.  The details, however, are so insidious that I am forced to retract all my previous statements about the man's high moral character and inherent decency.

Basically, the twisted rules are: You enter the contest and are given four words, which were the correct answers of a Quordle game that Marshal saved, and you have to write a story notably featuring those four words.  The four random words.   Cute, right?

So, my words ended up being DRAFT, DRAIN, BANJO, and GUEST.

Now, those are not good words.  But they are at least words used in spoken English, unlike those other poor contestants are forced to use.  So, to misquote Howard Jones, things can only get worse.

Anyhow, I have only gone to the library a couple of times since being given those wonderful four words, and I haven't managed to come up with anything I like.  Which feels . . . frustrating, I suppose.  Luckily, I have months in which to struggle and suffer over them, but I won't stop or falter.  Do you feel scared?  I do.

*You could still enter and win, by the way.

I Talk With Abbie Hilton About "Arcove's Bright Side"

Over on Abbie's Patreon, she's posted the first of two interviews with me about the production of her "Hunter's Unlucky" novel, "Arcove's Bright Side."  This first interview is pretty spoiler-free, and the secon one (which is coming next year) will talk about the plot and reveals and such.  Ms. Hilton and I tend to have interesting and fun talks when we record together, and best of all, I don't have to edit the ones over at her Patreon.

Check it out HERE!

Rish Outcast 240: Eurotrip 4

Okay, we've finally wrung this blood orange dry: the final episode of my Eurotrip report.  This show is all about Venice, the overhead compartment, and an African beard.

Brought to you by Vurbow.  Start living now!

To download this episode, Right-Click HERE.

To support Rish on Patreon, come on, just click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Euro Zip" Moretto.

Excersie Gole

 I'll post my goals for the year in a few days, but one of them is to Exercise 200 Days in 2023.

I have exercised five days this year.  Huh.

If you know a way I can make a chart to show how close to my goal I'm getting, I'd appreciate it.

Rish Outcast 239: Eurotrip 3

The Eurotrip continues!  In this episode, I talk about Disneyland, the Paris Metro, and the Catacombs.

Pardon my French.

To download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

To support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Neurotrip" Moretto.

Is it the Same?

For some reason, I never created my list of goals for 2023, but as I may have mentioned, getting sick recently somehow sucked out all ambition I had within me*, leaving me even more pathetic and Salvador Dali painting-esque than ever. 

But one of the goals I intend to make for the New Year is to get my book "Not the Same" published.  I'd been working on the audiobook and found it ironic that I had chosen to voice all the characters in a scene consisting of twin sisters and their single mother.  But even weirder, I gave the two identical twins DIFFERENT voices, so you could tell them apart.

I stole this image from an article that explained that autism symptoms varied greatly among identical twins.

Anyway, I've had a couple of struggles with it lately (including the burning suspicion that it just isn't very good), and one of them was this idea I had that Layla (the main character) has a fear of public speaking, but her twin sister (Shayla) does not.  I thought it would be fun if she had to address a group of strangers at the end, while pretending to be Shay, so I wrote a couple of new scenes and tried to crowbar them into what I had already written.  Like I said, I keep suspecting that the book is not a good one.

And then, this week, I had this terrible discovery while going through it, where I mentioned early on that the sisters have a peanut allergy, then it comes up again in the middle, and then . . .  nothing.

You're familiar with Chekhov's Gun, right?  Well, I am too, and when I saw the two references to peanuts, I did a quick search for the word again, to see how I'd paid it off, and wouldn't you know, I hadn't.  So, I wasted an entire writing session trying to do something with peanuts (even going so far as to research which candy bars have them and which don't, and if someone is allergic to peanuts are they allergic to almonds as well), and wasted an entire recording session last night trying to shoehorn them into to the scenes I had already recorded.

Anyhow, despite all my sweat and self-doubt, I'm nearly done recording it, and then I will focus full-time on Abbie's (much, much, much longer) book.

Meanwhile, Big Anklevich sent me this:

Big was kind enough to do two different covers for it, using the two photos I sent him (neither of which were of twins, but in searching for images of sisters, I found two that I liked).  I realize that "Not The Same" isn't the most dynamic of titles (some a-hole somewhere said that your title should convey either the genre or the tone [or both] of your book, and mine does not, though unlike the original title "Unidentical Twins," it is at least legitimate English), so I thought I might add a tagline to the cover, since movie posters use them, and some books do too.

I put in the tagline that I wanted, but Big thought it tremendously gay, so I'll probably not include it in the actual release version . . . if I ever put it out.

By the way, the Wellington boughs hang heavy in June.

*To the point where I declined to sign up to work on that cooking competition show I worked on last January, despite it being fun, easy work that I looked back on fondly.  Nope, somebody else got that job instead of me, because I didn't even put my name into the running for it.

Story (or Nightmare) Fuel

I've spoken often (and fondly) of that website that would post an image and encourage people to write stories based on it.  I wish that still existed and that I could participate in it.

But I walked into Target yesterday, and was faced with not only a mannequin, but a headless mannequin.  And not just as headless mannequin, but the headless mannequin of a little girl.  It was pretty disturbing.

And I thought, Man, there's gotta be a story in this.  Right?

I tried to take a selfie with it, and failed.

"Cormorant" update

Just finished reading Abigail Hilton's book, "The Cormorant," her last book in the Pirates of Wefrivain series.  And now . . . the official work has to begin.

This is gonna be a real challenge.  There are more characters with speaking parts than any time before, but I have to figure out which voices I have previously done in the books, and more complicated, I have to coordinate with Lauren Harris for her chapters, so our voices sound similar-ish to each other for the characters.  

As agreed, on Sunday I had my virtual meeting with the author, and she had planned for this, by including as many audio clips from previous books where characters were originally voiced as possible.  It went well, and I am about to record the first chapter.  It's late at night and I was thinking about going to sleep.  But then I remembered that about five hours ago, I told myself I'd take a jog around the block and I didn't do it.  I was too lazy.  Well, I say the line must be drawn here.  Here, and no further!

Rish Outcast 237: Eurotrip Part 2

Oy!  Rish continues his massive report about his trip to Europe, including his time in England, jetlag, the Rish-eating turnstile, Jack the Ripper, the exploding Coke Zero, and the Phantom Manor (cue Vincent Price laugh).

Download the episode directly by Right-Clicking HERE.

Support me on Patreon, by clicking HERE.

Logo by Gino "EuroStrip" Moretto.

I Perform "Ye Goode Olde Ghoste Storie" on Pseudopod

Wow, that was quick.

"Ye Goode Olde Ghoste Storie" is a super short tale, written by Anthony Boucher (aka William A.P. White), apparently when he was fifteen years old (in 1927).  I was asked to narrate it for Pseudopod, and it's available now, as part of their Public Domain Showcase.

It's a very slight, very short lil story that will certainly amuse you more than terrify you.  Check it out HERE!