December Sweeps - Day 699

A couple of people asked me if I had any fun New Year's plans, and just once, it would be great to have a good answer.*

Sit-ups Today: 250
Sit-ups In December: 3322

I managed to reach my goal for sit-ups (only took me two sessions).  But for push-ups, I just couldn't do it, despite three whole sessions (even five sessions wouldn't have done it).

Push-ups Today: 222
Push-ups In December: 3349

Most romantic night of the year, and I'm at the library for forty more minutes before it closes.

I meant to do some sit-ups and push-ups this morning, then again tonight, to see if I could make my goal for the month, but the kids were up and playing cards when I went in (and they were asleep in there when I went in last night, but I exercised anyway).  I'd say it's close to impossible for me to achieve my goal now. 

We're going to my cousin's house to play games tonight, which sounds fun, but who knows?

Words Today: 501
Words In December: 17,894

*Years and years ago, a friend of mine was unable to go out and celebrate, and so his girlfriend and I went out together, and I'm sure people who saw us together assumed she was MY girlfriend, and that was pretty damn cool, but it's been downhill from there ever since.

December Sweeps - Day 698

I finished Abbie's book and she paid me for it already.  That's great, especially with getting the brake pads and rotors replaced yesterday.*  She's written another book in the series, but it's up in the air whether I'll be narrating it (or indeed, whether there will be an audio version at all--it would seem that the readership for this series is passionate, but considerably smaller than those that buy her other two series).

But I've no doubt that the few folks who pony up (or ferryshaft up) the dough for this particular audiobook will be very pleased.  The narrator is fire, after all.

Sit-ups Today: 150
Sit-ups In December: 3072

So, I did my hundred push-ups and sit-ups and got in bed for the night, but then I remembered that we'd reached the end of the month, and once again, I wasn't going to make my sit-up and push-up goals for the month (once I stopped going to the cabin, the motivation to do sit-ups, then do something else, then do sit-ups again just plain faded away).  So I got up and did a few more of each, but I'm afraid it's a case of too few too late.

Push-ups Today: 160
Push-ups In December: 3127

I had less than an hour at the library tonight, so we'll see what kind of writing I get done.  Anything above, say, two hundred words I'm calling a victory.

Words: 692
Words In December: 17,393

*Technically, my mother paid for some of it, in lieu of a Christmas present.  She didn't much care for the banshee wail of my brakes either.

December Sweeps - Day 697

My cousin and I watched "The Book of Boba Fett" last night, and I liked the world it takes place in more than I liked the show itself.  It looked pretty, but was largely forgettable.  It was merely the first episode of seven, but the things I was most impressed with continues to be the appearance of Star Wars aliens and how darn young Ming-Na Wen looks.*

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In December: 2922

I got the brakes fixed on my car today.  I had put it off for weeks, until the sound of the grinding pad-less brakes was not unlike the cries of the damned (the sounds that surely all televangelists will find waiting for them when they go).     My brother warned me it was going to cost a thousand dollars (because I had left it so long).  But it ended up costing only half that. 

I got a bit of writing done, once I put my head down and really focused on it. 

I should have finished my darn Scrooge story days ago.  Yesterday, I worked on the Outpost tale instead, but I came very close to finishing the Christmas one tonight, but the library closed at the same time it always does: before I was ready to go.

Push-ups Today: 111
Push-ups In December: 2967

I got all the chapters uploaded for Abbie's book/novella today, and got a list of changes needed to make (I said "weakness" when the text said "weariness," said "pricked" when the word was supposed to be "prickled," and I said "shriveled grey dingus" when the text said no such thing, those sort of changes).  I grumble about these things, oh definitely (and will continue to do so), but Abigail Hilton cares about her audiobooks more than anyone else I know, enough to not let a chair squeak or a misspoken word slip through.

I'm sure I told you of the last audiobook I did for someone, where I sent it out and the author published it as-is, without any retakes, when I KNOW there had to have been errors in there (because there always are), and I thought to myself, "Wow, some people just do not care, do they?  Ah well, the money spends the same, at least for the author, in this case."  So, I guess there's a range when it comes to this sort of thing.

Words Today: 922 
Words In December: 16,701

*I read a review of the first episode online, by a guy who calls himself Star Wars Edit Droid, and he hated it . . . hated it as I've only ever hated one Star Wars property in my life.  He went on and on about how much it ruined the character of Boba Fett and was filled with weak dialogue and tepid action sequences, and that it has thrown his whole appreciation for the series in question, since he had no problem with the JJ Abrams/Rian Johnson movies, but was surrounded by people screaming about how terrible they were.
I sympathized with him, at least a little.  Sympathized enough not to get on there and comment, "At least you didn't pay money to see it.  Imagine how I felt in 2005, paying twelve dollars a ticket on opening night, only to be hit in the face with icy water at seeing an epic misfire in practically every single way, only to go home and hear people say it was better than RETURN OF THE JEDI."

December Sweeps - Day 696

I had plenty of work to do again today, which is fine, I'm not complaining.  I spoke to Big, who has had to do extra shifts at work, despite his kids having flown in for Christmas.  That's rough.  One of my goals for 2021 was to have him record a story of mine with me,* and we'll have to do it tomorrow or Thursday if we're going to get it in under the wire.  We'll see.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 2811

This is the first time I've made it to the library in a few days (the 23rd, it looks like).  It's snowing outside again, but it's that gross, salt-grain snow that stings when it hits, and it's below freezing, so the roads are slick.  I'm on the fence whether to go to my cousin's tonight, but my sister did ask me if I would stop by her house and help her with her dog, and I loaded up four boxes for her crawlspace.  I suppose they could wait until another day, if they have to.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 2856

I didn't even get five hundred words done.  But as I keep saying, I'm less than motivated lately, any writing's better than none.

I didn't mean to post that picture of Big Anklevich at the top of today's entry.  It was a mistake (I got the number wrong).  But then I left it up, because for some reason, he really dislikes that picture of himself.

Words Today: 491
Words In December: 15,779

*"Know When To Walk Away," a story I put out years ago, but was always disappointed with.

December Sweeps - Day 695

Do you hate my blog?  I sure do.  

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick of typing up how many sit-ups and push-ups I'm doing, even more than actually doing them (which I'm sick of, but with only six o's in the "so").

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 2711

I had a lot of work to do today, which is welcome, but it did leave me pretty tired in the afternoon.  My 14 year old nephew commandeered the television while I was boxing up a bunch of toys, during which I had set aside the time to watch a "Modern Family" episode (before I had to drive down to my aunt's house to pick my mom up and take her home), and then I'd hit the library and try to get in some final words written for the year*, and when the episode ended, he hit Skip on to the next show.  I told him I might not have time to watch the whole thing, and finished up my work as best I could.  But when that episode ended, he hit Skip again, planning, I guess, to repeat last week's five episode "Hawkeye" marathon.

I said, "Give me the fuh-dging remote!" fixing the word at the last syllable, and then the four year old, who was in the room, started bellowing, "Give me the fu-dging remote!  Give me the fu-dging remote!"  It was almost cute, but dude, I cannot let that kid do the Skip-the-next-episode trick again.

Unfortunately, it was time to go get my mom, I stopped at my sister's house, and when I got back, it had started to snow.  I put on my coat to head to the library, and both of my nephews said they wanted to go with me (not sure why, there's nothing for them to do but sit quietly, or hang out downstairs where you can talk and play video games at a regular volume).  So, we put on our coats and shoes, and my sister pointed out that there had been an Emergency alert on TV and the phones saying that due to a snowstorm, people were to stay off the roads.  There were these gale-force winds, and she said, "I don't care what you do, but you're not taking the boys driving with you."  That was sure sweet.

So, we decided to walk around the neighborhood instead.  And the winds had indeed been so bad that a dozen or so garbage cans (put out for the trucks tomorrow) had tipped over, including one of our own, spilling Christmas trash around each fallen can.  We made it a game to tip each of the fallen trash cans back up as we went on our walk, and numbered eleven righted ones before getting back home.

But that meant I didn't get any writing done, not a single word, and I'd rather do anything (even blog, list items for sale, or finish editing audio) than write right now.

Push-ups Today: 111
Push-ups In December: 2756

I recorded another chapter of "Hatchling," the one where they break up.  As I keep saying, the book is not going well.**  I was thinking today, though, that if someone gave me the choice between the book being really good and selling really well, I'd happily cash in those hack paychecks.

Sadly, though, it looks like I'll have to settle for neither.

Words Today: 402
Words In December: 15,288

*Honestly, I DON'T CARE how many words I managed in 2021, or how short of 2020 it ended up being.  2020 was the goddamn plague year, as well as Midlife Crisis Year, and I probably wrote more in February of that year than I did in the last six months (I'm never going to match that, and I'm fine with it).  I fully expect to write less in 2022 than I did this year, and I am not only okay with that, I can hardly wait.

**Remind me in 2022 to stick to writing short stories.

I Perform "Something's Wrong With Mom" on Tales To Terrify

Over on the Tales To Terrify podcast, there's another one of my readings available.  This one is by Warren Benedetto, and it's called "Something's Wrong With Mom."  Based on something we've all experienced, it tells of two boys whose mother seems to be crawling on the ceiling.  

Check it out at THIS LINK, if you like.

December Sweeps - Day 694

fuhggggg

Now, originally, my December 26th blog entry consisted of that one word, "fuhggggg."  As much as I'd like to leave it that way, I don't really remember why I would express myself in exactly those words (technically, one word*), but since I at least exercised and wrote a little bit that day, let's expand it slightly.

Boxing Day came and went, and a bunch of family members got together at my mom's house, just like Christmas Day.  Tensions have run high in my immediate family this year, and there have been times (not sure if you're this way too) when I just get in my car and drive away, usually hitting the library, other times going to the store (I do miss Toys R Us), and at least in 2020, up to the mountains to hike around.  I did hike a bit in 2021, but it wasn't the same.  

Crazy that I could feel any type of nostalgia for 2020.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 2611

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 2645

Words Today: 451
Words In December: 14,886

*Well, even more technically, NOT a word.

December Sweeps - Day 693

All is quiet, on Christmas Day.

Whoops, that was a misquote.

Joni Mitchell put out a new video for her 1971 song "River," in celebration of its fiftieth anniversary, and I listened to it a couple of times while surfing the net.  Its melancholy is absolutely delicious, and Joni says at the end of the video that it's "a Christmas song for people who are lonely at Christmas! We need a song like that.”

Well, I certainly do.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 2511

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 2545

Words In December: 369
Words In December: 14,435

In case you missed it...

I got Big to record with me something of a Christmas show,

I think it came out well, so here's a link before you go; 

There are good holiday songs, as well as lots of baddies,

But what do me and Big know--neither of us have daddies!  

December Sweeps - Day 692

Not much to share today.

It's Christmas Eve, and I've accomplished nothing today.  

Abigail Hilton will, from time to time, send me reviews of the audio I've done of her books.  This was the one she sent today:

I've never been referred to as "fire" before (or FIRE in all caps, if that's different).  But hey, I'll take it.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 2411

My nephews were watching MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL, and I tried to watch it with them (honestly, I tried), but boy, I just can't abide the Muppets.  I guess I've complained before about Miss Piggy, but unless they're Sesame Street Muppets, I rather despise them and their antics.  That's just me, my cousin swears by MCC, quoting it often as though the dialogue was actually invented for the movie.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 2445

Around 1:30, after wrapping the two or three presents I hadn't yet wrapped, I got on my computer and looked up the history of "A Christmas Carol," and discovered that, due to the success of that book, Dickens wrote four follow-up Christmas tales.  I looked those up as well, and thought, "Boy, that would've been fun to share as a holiday episode of my podcast."  But alas, it was too late.*

I also found that there was a 2004 Kelsey Grammer TV movie adaptation of "Carol," where Jason Alexander played Jacob Marley.  It was a musical version with a score by Alan Menken, and somehow I'd never heard of it.  I tried to watch it on television, but it wanted me to subscribe to Hallmark Movies on demand or something.  

But the songs were available on YouTube, and as I listened to them, I thought it would be fun to write a short holiday story where a man travels from America to London and encounters Ebenezer Scrooge.  I started to write it, but I know two things about Victorian England: 1) squat, and 2) jack.

Even so, my heart was in the right place.

Words Today: 558
Words In December: 14,066

*I also considered recording myself doing the "They are man's (children).  Their names are Ignorance and Want" scene from the book as a bonus to my Patreon followers, but it was already late at night and I'd neither exercised nor written anything yet.

Rish Outcast 212: Family Christmas Party

So, at pretty much the last minute, I had to present a story for our family holiday party. And at pretty much the last minute, I'm presenting that story for my holiday episode. Happy Christmas, guys.

Download this bad boy right HERE.

Naughty or nice, support me on Patreon left HERE.

As always, logo by Gino "Family Middle-Of-Summer Story" Moretto.

December Sweeps - Day 691

I mostly worked on podcasts today.  I had nearly finished my Christmas episode (a really short, quite unimpressive show), and had finally gotten Big to record a little something for the Dunesteef with me, and managed to get both done.  

My mom still can't drive, and wanted someone to take her to the grocery store (threatening to drive herself once it got dark and she still hadn't gone), so I drove her over there and was astounded at a) how much stuff she got (two carts' worth), and b) how not busy the place was.  My nephew and I went to a couple of stores yesterday, and the line was endless at all of them.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 2311

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 2345

When I was at my cousin's the other night, we saw that you could stream a three hour 2020 version of "A Christmas Carol" that was, to my wonder, Rated MA (the rating television shows reserve for adult programming).  It starred Guy Pearce and Andy Serkis, and it intrigued me.*

So, I put it on, curious how you could make a more grown-up version than my beloved 1984 George C. Scott version.

Well, throw in gore, liberal use of the f-word, child molestation and poor Bob Cratchett's wife prostituting herself, and you can, indeed, find a grown-upper version of the classic tale.

It was also insanely long, and joined the myriad movies and TV series that I started in 2021 and didn't finish (probably, truth be told, one out of every three programmes . . . maybe two out of five).

Words Today: 333
Words In December: 13,508

*I had heard someone complaining about it last year, but it wasn't until I got to the scene in question that I remembered this was what they were talking about.

December Sweeps - Day 690

I only have a half hour to write today, much less blog.  I often ask my nephews if they'd like to come to the library with me, and invariably, they tell me "Nope," or on generous days, "No thanks."  But for some reason, the fourteen year old said he'd come with me today, so we loaded into the car and jetted over here less than an hour before closing.  I sat here writing on my Outpost story while he watched "Fudgin' Grey's Anatomy" on his phone.  But ah well.

Sometimes, I imagine working at the library would be a good job, since I never see any of them doing anything other than sit at a desk on a computer, waiting for someone to ask for help finding a book logging into the system or letting them into the women's restroom.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 2211

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 2245

Words Today: 681
Words In December: 13,175

December Sweeps - Day 689

I haven't had any opportunities to read books the last . . . jeez, almost two weeks now.  But today, I opened the book I got from the library and tried to read it . . . and I didn't recognize any of the characters' names or recall exactly what was going on (I was still in Chapter One, so I guess it's forgivable).  I had an audiobook in the car, though, that I'd been listening to since November, a Suzanne Collins book, and I was enjoying it, but it was way too long, and I realized that I still had multiple discs left, even though I was tiring of it.  I kept on, but realized it was a joy-free drudgery, so I gave up, despite having invested several hours in it.  

I went to the library and wanted something short I could finish in a couple of weeks and not have to renew or pay late fees on.  I saw an audiobook of Stephen King's "Carrie," narrated by Sissy Spacek, and scooped it up.

A day later, I'm supremely happy with it, astounded that the book can be so moving and brilliantly alive, despite me never being a huge fan of it (I found a first edition hardcover of it one time--without a dust jacket--and I think I gave to my niece for her birthday a couple of years ago).

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 2111

Okay, I'm going to blog for ten minutes (I haven't updated my detested blog in a while, despite nearly two years of it), and then write for thirty or so.  I think I mentioned that Friday I was feeling very stressed and unhappy, but today was the opposite.  I just don't feel bad at all, and have smiled at strangers everywhere I went today.  Maybe it's the Christmas spirit, who knows?

I did write, for about forty minutes.  Didn't get a lot done, but the story is inching along.  I have no deadline but whatever I set for myself.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 2145

My cousin and I watched a handful of "Seinfeld" episodes as we waited for the final "Hawkeye" to air.  I know I go on and on about Jason Alexander's immense talent on that show, but I don't know if I've ever mentioned what a treasure Jerry Stiller was (he played George's apoplectic father).  I love how he's like a volcano ready to explode, for virtually no reason, and hope to be a real-life Frank Costanza one day.

We finished "Hawkeye," and I'm sad it had to end after only six episodes.  The finale wasn't as shit as the "Loki" one was, but I was still disappointed (I was under the impression they introduced Kingpin, only to kill him in the same episode, but a bunch of folks online said the same thing happened in the comics, and he got better.  So there's that).*

Words Today: 833
Words In December: 

*Also, I wondered why on Earth he had a red Hawaiian shirt on under his white suit, but that was apparently right out of the comics.

November Sweeps - Day 688

My nephew (the now-fourteen year old) finished watching all seventeen seasons of "Grey's Anatomy," and then moved on to something called "Private Practice," which is apparently a spin-off that's gone, holy shit, six seasons of its own.  The lil bastard watches five or six episodes a day (on schooldays) and more the rest of the time, and I berated him for it once again.  Why would he watch something that I hate when he's never watched any of the Disney+ Marvel shows?  

So, he said he would watch the first episode of "Hawkeye" with me this afternoon.  I was happy to watch it again, and it was over quickly, with plenty of time to get work done and go to the library after.  But then we went on to the second episode, and watched that through, and that was fine too, but I was a bit rushed now to get my work AND get a library visit in.  But my nephew hit Skip, and the third episode started up.  I told him, "Hey, this is the last one, okay?  We'll watch the first three, and then on Thursday or Friday, we'll watch the second three."  I would have very little time to write and get my work done, but I could make do. 

Unfortunately, when the third episode ended, he hit Skip to start watching the fourth.  I told him I couldn't, got up, and turned the TV off.  I went to my room, looked at my to-do list, and heard the TV in the living room come back on.  He had started watching "Hawkeye" without me.  Well, that couldn't stand, so I went back out there and said, "No more episodes, I can't watch with you."  He said, "So?  I'll just watch it by myself."  It bummed me out, so I sat on the couch for a minute before getting my work done.  A half hour later, the episode was over, and I hadn't moved.  Now, there was only time to get my work done OR go to the library.  And my nephew Skipped to the fifth and final episode.  I grumbled, but stayed put.  When that episode ended, I threw my coat on and drove over to the library with less than an hour to spare.

And now, I've spent ten minutes blogging.  Sigh.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 2011

I typed about four hundred words, and that's good an all, but I misspelled the word "position" just now, and couldn't figure out how I'd gotten it wrong ("positition"), then got it in my head to look up the old video game Pole Position on Wikipedia . . . for no reason whatsoever.  It became this thing in my mind that I absolutely HAD to do, I can't explain it.  I think my more religious relatives might say that it was the Devil whispering in my ear, tempting me away from what is right (would Devil be capitalized?  It's a title, right?), but why would Beelzebub* want me not to write, or to care about Pole Position, a game I haven't thought about in, what, thirty years?

I also wrote a couple of paragraphs on "Hatchling" before I recorded, which was smart because it didn't eat up any audio space.

Push-ups Today: 111
Push-ups In December: 2045

I took my mom to the doctor's office today, and they did all sorts of memory tests on her.  It was rather fascinating, although I felt bad that she struggled with them, although she didn't technically fail any.  I think I'll talk about it in my Patreon address next week, since it was so strange.

Words Today: 949
Words In December: 12,494

*He lets me call him "Bill."

November Sweeps - Day 687

I still haven't sent Big Anklevich a Christmas present this year.  I've got a box filled with junk--er, treasures that I keep meaning to send, but I couldn't think of anything to send him other than dung.

But I have a lot of Jurassic World dinosaurs lying around, and thought he might like one for his Christmas display.

I grabbed a Metriacanthosaurus, because I had two.

Then I painted it white.

Then I took the green and painted that sky blue.  In my mind, I thought it would seem like a holiday or ice dinosaur.

And here's the finished product:

Hopefully, it fits in with his other Christmas toys.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 1911

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 1934

I very nearly finished recording Abbie's book today.  Only one more chapter and the copyright info, then it's all on to editing.  She sometimes shares fan art that she receives from the series, which is frankly pretty awesome.  I suppose I will have made it when people start sending me drawings of bice aliens, Old Widow Holcomb, or the ghosts at Noble Oaks Bed & Breakfast.

Words Today: 211
Words In December: 11,545

November Sweeps - Day 686

We had our family Christmas party today.  It was good to see the people there, and everyone got along.  I shared a story I wrote at the end of the activity, then everyone went their separate ways.  My brother-in-law's kid brought his girlfriend, and she was so cool, I'm still puzzling about it.  I got a holiday snowglobe as my white elephant gift, but it says 2021 on it, so it's not really possible to re-gift it to somebody else.*  

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 1811

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 1834

One of my goals for 2021 was to put out another audio collection (and a Christmas one, but I only work on those around the holidays).  I haven't really worked on them, despite my best intentions.  But Gino sent me another cover for one, which ought to give the me the impetus for working on the darn thing . . . despite the title.

I dig it, and now I ought to get off my duff and published another collection.  Thanks, Gino!

Words Today: 335
Words In December: 11,334

*Unless there's a snowglobe with the Death Star in it, and instead of snow, little TIE Fighters and X-wings float around it, I'm not in need of one.

November Sweeps - Day 685

So, I was stressing out quite a bit this morning.  Not sure why, but I was feeling it.  Now, I'm at the library a few hours later, and I'm more calm about things. 

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 1711

So, I've got a story presentation at tomorrow's Christmas party, and the thing that had me so stressed was that I got it into my head that, since I had to write the story anyway, I could use it for the Christmas episode of my podcast next week.  But I talked to other people who said it didn't have to be a masterpiece or anything.

So, I sat down at the library and started writing it.  I got about six hundred words (okay, slightly more than that):

And I was thinking, I could write a short version and a long version, and the short one I'll read at the party, and the long version, I'll read in Hell.  It seemed like a good plan to me.

Of course, before I got to seven hundred words, the screen went blue and I got a message saying that there was an error and the computer had to restart.*  So, the computer restarted, and everything was lost.

Big, so predictable the Germans could set their watches by it, told me this was what I get for not using Googledocs. 

So, I guess I'm going to start again now.  But this time, I'm writing the story in an email window.

I wrote out the long version, including everything, which came to 1436 words, then I hacked and slashed it, finally deciding to be finished with a three page 899 word story.

And weirdly, now I feel calm, and am not even all that upset about the crashing computer earlier (now that everything's saved, I guess I mean).

It's pretty rare that I write a story (even a short one) in a single day, so technically, I started it yesterday and finished it today.  But I'll take the win.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 1734

We saw SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME tonight.  I got tickets for my nephew and my cousin and me about two weeks ago (there was buzz that the showings would actually sell out, despite the world we now live in).  My cousin ended up bringing his fifteen year old daughter and her friend at the last minute, and they sat all the way in the back, but we could hear them coo-ing and squealing and cheering throughout.

The movie was quite good.  I liked it a great deal--especially the ending--but wasn't quite as moved by anything in it as I had been with Clint Barton trying to talk to his son on the phone when he couldn't hear him.  But hey, you do you.

Words Today: 1495
Words In December:10,999

*This happened a bit more than a year ago, and was the reason I stopped using their computers.

December Sweeps - Day 684

My mom reminded me today that I had a white elephant story on Saturday.  I didn't know what that meant, and first thought she was telling me this before I picked my nephew up from preschool because I was supposed to take a white elephant gift, or tell a story about one I had gotten.

But no, I'm in charge this year of telling a story while people pass their wrapped gifts in a circle, and when the story ends, whichever gift ends up with which person is who they're stuck with.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 1611

Tonight, Cathexis and I went to a holiday musical.

I first took my niece to a play several years ago (when she was eight or nine), and we've gone to many since then.  I usually mention when I see somebody is performing one we might like, but we only end up going to half of those.  This time, I told her I'd just buy her the ticket as her Christmas gift, and we ended up meeting at the theater, which used to be a movie theater years ago (it was where I first saw BACK TO THE FUTURE back in '85).

It was a Christmas play, quite inoffensive and mildly amusing and entertaining.  A couple of the actors were quite good, being both able to sing and act, while a couple others were only able to do one of those things. 

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 1634

The play, it turned out, was an original, written and directed by one of the stars.  I had wished that I had known that going in, because I would've been far kinder to it in my mind.  It wasn't until the intermission that I discovered it was homegrown, and that made me admire it, at least a little.  Who knows, after revising and rewriting it, it may make a fortune for the young playwright, but who knows how many amateur productions go on to reasonable success?

Words: 641
Words In December: 9504

November Sweeps - Day 683

I woke up when my alarm went off (well, I had awakened a couple of times before then, unsure of my surroundings, but one thing I can say for my cousin's basement is that he keeps all the windows securely covered, so it was pretty dark even with the sun shining down on all that blinding snow.

Everything looked white and beautiful outside, with over a foot of new snow.  The weight of the snow on the branches of his trees and caused a limb to snap off, and I snapped a photo of the family van, with, jeez, fourteen or fifteen inches of snow on it:

Around ten am, my cousin went outside to attempt to shovel a path wherein we could drive (him to work, and me home).  He has a neat new snowblower that shoots snow into the air, and you can angle the spray however you want it (which was fun to watch, but the novelty would surely wear off after the second time you had to use it).

I followed my cousin around for half an hour, shoveling snow by hand while he pushed the snowblower around.  Other neighbors were outside, pushing shovels or running their own blowers.  None of them seemed to think it was the end of the world, although my cousin's kids had no way of getting to school, so he let them stay at home (if he had owned a monster truck, sure, they could've made it to the bus stop, or school itself, but hey).

This is a Nativity display in a front yard . . . somewhere.

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In December: 1511

Push-ups Today: 111
Push-ups In December: 1534

As far as writing goes, I wrote 67 words on one project, then opened the Outpost story and wrote 333 on it before the library made its unwelcome "We will be closing in ten minutes, please save your work" announcement.  333 is a nice round number, and added to 67, is fairly even too.  Guess I'll take off now.

Words Today: 400
Words In December: 8863

December Sweeps - Day 682

Another day, another pointless trip to the library.  

Unfortunately, when I went to send my daily words to myself . . . the internet went down.  I didn't know how long it would be before it came back, except that I had to leave (and even if I didn't, the library would be closing in ten minutes or so, and I'd lose everything anyway).  I tried to open Gmail in a new window, but nothing would come up.  And I couldn't even check my Drafts to see if what I'd written was saved or not.

So I did the only thing I could think of doing: I took two photos of all the words I had written, knowing that I could type them again if I lost everything.  Then I logged off the system and took off.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 1400

After "Hawkeye," it was time to head home, but as we went outside, we were surprised to see more snow than we ever would have expected to have piled up in the three hours we'd hung out.  It was over a foot, piled up on my car and all around it, mostly stopped, but with enough falling that I had to scrape my windshield again once I'd gotten around the car.  

I was able to back down the driveway, but once I hit the snow in the cul-de-sac, I was stuck.  My poor cousin, still wearing shorts for some maniacal reason, had to come out and try to push me, but the engine wouldn't even rev with the wheels not making contact with the ground.  It was weird.

The thing is, I had never seen over a foot of snow fall in the time it took to watch three "Seinfeld"s and a "Hawkeye."  So even if I had been able to make it out of his neighborhood, the town roads and the freeway might have been absolutely deadly (and I never relish the thought of slowly trundling up the freeway only to have big semi trucks zoom by me going seventy, throwing up walls of blinding grey slush.  Do you?).

So, he pushed me enough that I could get back onto his driveway, and we trudged back into the house, him for his bed, and me for his downstairs couch.  

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 1423

Words Today: 277 
Words In December: 8463

December Sweeps - Day 681

Every once in a while, one of the packages I send gets returned to me.  Almost without fail, I am unhappy to see it.  Today was strange, though.  I hadn't heard from the buyer that there was anything wrong (or that the item hadn't arrived), but there it was in my mailbox with a Return To Sender sticker from the post office on it.  But someone had written "WTF" on the front of it in blue pen.  That was a first.

W.T.F. indeed.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 1300

I finally got Big to sit down and record a sketch with me for the podcast, and you know . . . it wasn't any good.  Thank Bossk we hadn't managed to get Renee on the line with us as well.

It reminds me of when I went to see FATHER'S DAY in '97.  I was so excited, "Wow, Robin Williams, Billy Crystal, and Julia Louis-Dreyfuss in a movie together!  And directed by Ivan Reitman?  How could it go wrong?"

Well, it did.  Very wrong.  And why is still a mystery to me, after all these years.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 1323

It's Monday, and I hit the library again tonight.  One day, I promise you, I will look back at the time right now and miss it.  I guess I miss how I was last year, so excited about exercise and writing and the possibilities of change.  Seems like a while ago, and no time at all.

I wrote a very little section on my story, bringing the total to 34,404 words.  I know what you're saying, couldn't you have managed forty more words?  And you know what, you OCD devil, you're right.

Words Today: 805
Words In December: 8186

December Sweeps - Day 680

Oh, regarding yesterday's post.  Someone informed me that a "palindrome" is not the filthy, illegal sexual act that I thought it was, but merely a word that reads the same frontwards and backwards, like "Hannah," "kayak," "racecar," and "buntcake."  I'm sorry about the misunderstanding.

I REALLY ought to go on a hike today.  I asked Big to encourage me, and he said, "You can do it!" in Rob Schneider's voice.  And that's hard to ignore.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 1200

Wow, the hike was rough.  But hey, I did it, and am a stronger person for it.  Or not. 

It was a fairly warm winter day, at least compared to when it was snowing or freezing, so I jumped in the car, sans coat or gloves, and headed to the base of the mountain as fast as I could manage.

There was snow on the ground, all the way up the trail.  In other words, a mile hike up the mountain in snow.  Right as I started up, I passed a man on crutches coming down.  Not only did he have crutches, but he had a service dog with him (the dog jumped up on me twice).  The crutches guy said, "You going up there now?  It's gonna be dark soon."  "I'll be alright," I said, "since the snow will reflect the light."  "Yeah, but you're going up by yourself, without a coat?  Do you at least have spikes on your shoes?"  "No," I said, "but if you . . ."

I didn't dare complete the statement.  If you, a guy on frickin' crutches, could do it, then I should be able to too."  "I'll be okay," I said.  "Thoughts and prayers, man," the stranger said, and hobbled back down the trail.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 1223

I had given myself more time in December to get to the top of the trail than I had in November, but I hadn't counted on the terrain being much, much more difficult.  I'd loaded an audiobook on my phone to listen to, a self-help book I'd wanted to read for a long time.  But it did make me feel kind of bad instead of good (I probably should've listened to music instead).  I trudged up the hill, and when I passed the first sign (the one that tells you how far you've gone versus how far there is left to go), I realized I wasn't going to make it.  Pretty soon, my shoes would be soaked, then my socks, and my hands and ears would be cold, and I was going so slowly it would be dark before I was even halfway up.

Some hikers came down, but not many.  There weren't even a pair of horny twenty-somethings watching the sunset and pawing one another atop the big rock at the one-third point.

Behind me, I saw a couple walking up the hill, much faster than me, and I tried--I really tried--to go faster, so they wouldn't pass me by, but around the next bend, I just walked out into the snow so they could go around me.  The man zoomed on by, going so fast, you'd think there wasn't any snow (or even an incline).  But his wife stopped and looked at me.  And I knew her.  I had gone to high school with her and we'd been friends.

Strangely, she told her husband to keep on going, and she walked up the hill with me, keeping my snail's pace instead of trying to match her husband's practical sprint.  We talked, and before too long, we were at the top (where the husband was already ready to turn around and head back down).  I was pretty sweaty, having exerted myself to get up there, but this was where you could sit down:

The two of them took off, leaving me the only person left on the mountain.  Now it was dark, but I drank my water, and started down.  I was in no hurry, and the one time I tried to go fast was the one time I slipped and fell, my hand catching me by plunging through the snow, which--big shock--was cold.  Very slowly, and not-at-all sure-footedly, I made my way down the trail, all by myself, but what else is new?  I did imagine encountering a slavering wolf or a yeti on my hike down in the dark, but that would be far too entertaining for this blog.

Words Today: 914
Words In December: 7381