Thursday, May 27, 2021

May Sweeps - Day 481

Well, that's better.  I woke up about six, looked around, saw it was dark on one side of the cabin, and went back to sleep.  It was so warm under the covers, after all (I have to go grab at least ten logs today and stack them by the door for next time).  But then, the next time I woke up, at seven-something, I did get up and started my day.  I've got a lot of work to do before my alarm goes off if I'm not going to feel like the slacker I did yesterday.

I went out on the back deck shortly after waking up, and found five deer out in the clearing, the same place they tended to congregate last year.  They looked at me and nervously moved on, but didn't run.  I heard another sound to my right, and looked to the next cabin over, the one on the hill.  An unbelievably old man (the same one who made all the gross sounds last year) was walking up there, wearing a wifebeater/strappy t-shirt.  I don't know if he saw me, but I saw him, and that was enough to turn me around and back in the cabin.  I scared off the deer, the old dude scared me off, a vicious cycle.

After recording last night, I sat and watched one of the movies I'd gotten from the library, figuring I'd fall asleep to it (which I didn't).  It was a Dwayne Johnson flick called CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE.  And it, well, it wasn't bad.  It wasn't great either--I think there was potential there, but it was a bit uneven.  It starred Kevin Hart as this high school superstar (prom king, student body president, star athlete, stud) who is kind to a fat, dorky kid, sort of played by The Rock.*

Cut to twenty years later, and Hart is an accountant who hates his life, he missed out on a promotion, he feels unfulfilled--he peaked too early.  It's time for his twenty year high school reunion, and he doesn't want to go, but he gets a Facebook request from a name he doesn't recognize, and when he accepts it, he gets a message from Dwayne Johnson, who has changed his name, and wants to meet him for a beer.  Hart goes, and finds that the fat, dorky kid has transformed into The Rock (and when he asked him how he did it, the reply is, "It was easy: I just worked out for six hours a day for twenty years.").  

And this is the reason I wanted to tell you this: The Rock is seriously dorky, in his speech and mannerism and dress (he wears a unicorn t-shirt, despite it bulging out like a superhero costume).  He continually refers to Hart as his best friend and/or his only friend, and I was really enjoying this nerdy, backward character unlike what we've seen Johnson do before (although he did get to flex non-physical muscles in those JUMANJI sequels he did).  

Johnson is ridiculous, but when a group of buttholes picks a fight with Hart in the bar (and these aren't just garden-variety douchenozzles, they're Trump-flag-on-the-pickup-truck-bring-a-gun-to-a-neighborhood-bar type assholes), he beats them up easily, all at the same time.  It turns out that Johnson is in the CIA (I guess), and needs Hart's help to decrypt some files, and either he's been targeted by traitors or he's a traitor himself, and now Hart's life is in danger.

It's fairly funny,** and pretty well done (although the violence is head-scratchy, no one can hit anything when it's the CIA he's shooting at, but right on the mark when it's mafia goons, though toned way down for fear of losing that divine PG-13), but the dorky, odd character we meet in the first two scenes is mostly gone for the rest of the movie, replaced by ultra-competent, tough and charming Dwayne Johnson, despite him SUPPOSEDLY really being that unpopular kid from the flashback and bar scene.  I wish they had had the guts to embrace that, to have a guy who looks like The Rock, but whenever he looks in the mirror, he sees the fat loser who was humiliated and bullied all through high school, and that's who he'll always be on the inside.  I dunno, I guess it's brave they had him wear a pink shirt and say "Gosh" for any part of the film, but they could have kept it going (his favorite movie is SIXTEEN CANDLES and he goes on and on about it, and actually reenacts a scene from it at the end.

It wasn't a bad film, but it wasn't great, and somehow that's sadder than if it had been bad.

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In May: 2723

I edited all Big's lines into "Dying Is Easy" (and I only asked him to do about six, which I hope didn't insult him--I should've given him a big part, but I always feel weird when I ask friends to help me for free, like if I called up Gino Moretto and said, "Hey buddy, you're gonna be doing my cover art from now on!  Isn't that great news?"  After that, I wanted to start on the episode itself, but couldn't find Big's half of the conversation.  Next week, I guess.

I got asked to do another Pseudopod episode, and this one is pretty long, so I'll start on that now.

Push-ups Today: 175
Push-ups In May: 3114

So, I started editing the 200th episode of the Outcast, and in starting to splice Big's lines into my story "Dying is Easy," I realized that the line "You do good job and we will be bringing you cheeses" is maybe the dumbest thing I've ever written.  It was my attempt at a joke (a bit of an irreverant one, but an attempt to be clever on my part), and it's the perfect example of that "You have to be willing to kill your darlings" rule of screenwriting, since I fully recognize the joke does not work, but I like it too much to cut it out, so there it stays, even if nobody gets it, or people find it the opposite of funny (which is either sad or unfunny).  They say acting is all about choices.  I feel like with writing it's even more true.

As always happens at the cabin, I kept an eye on the clock and knew the time would come sooner than I planned to head for the hills (or more technically, head out of the hills).  In the past, I've always been in the middle of something, and I have to scramble to get everything packed up and/or cleaned up so I can leave before it gets dark (I don't want to have to worry about deer while driving home--although one did run in front of my car on the way TO the cabin, and that was at about three in the afternoon).

But I was so close to the end of my twin story that I forced my head down and pushed on through, typing "the end" before it was even close to dark outside.  I was happy with myself for my accomplishment, and hey, if I live to be seventy (or even older) I sure hope that good feeling still happens for me when I finish a story.  It would be nice to be able to count on that.

So, I accomplished one of my June goals ("Finish twin story"), and if I really push myself, I could accomplish another ("Title twin story").  I don't think "Unidentical Twins" is terrible, but I wish that first word sounded better--Distinguishable?" "Unequal?"  "Inexact?"  How about "Unmatching Twins?"  I'm not quite there yet.

I've no idea how long it is (maybe I'll check tomorrow), except that I know that it's too long.  AND, there are characters that show up for one scene, and are never heard from again.  If this were a screenplay, in my second draft, I'd combine the boy Layla likes in her Science class with the girl she hangs out with in the hall and goes to the mall with, just so it would be more streamlined (and the love interest character would mean more in the end***).

Words Today: 1243
Words In May: 18,271

*So, in probably the weirdest bit of the movie, it appeared to be a really fat young actor with The Rock's face digitally superimposed over it, and even Kevin Hart looked like he wasn't really Kevin Hart in a couple of shots (I can't imagine the casting call for that one: "Seeking an African-American 18 to play younger, athletic, lean, MUST BE UNDER FIVE FEET TALL").

**At one point, Johnson is trying to talk up how great Hart is and says, "You're super cool--you're like a black Will Smith!"

***Right now, he just sort of flirts with her, and then is heard no more, like a poor player fretting his hour upon the stage.  But hey, that's how romance has been for me, with a faint glimpse of brightness that turns out to be a broken bottle reflecting light . . . or worse, the shine of the scope held by a rifled sniper.

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