Rish Outcast 322: The Dark Gift 2

Finishing the presentation of "The Dark Gift." Thanks to you. People are finally starting to notice Nobie Miller . . . a lot of people at the Pickle Days carnival. And they're noticing her a lot.

Rish goes to a pretty dark place (no pun intended) with the discussion afterward, but also explains the main character's ridiculous name (still not as bad as the majority of Gen Z names are--Braxton, Oakley, Addison, Jaiden, and Rayleigh--I'm looking at you).

Warning: Wilson Phillips.

Download the file directly by Right-Clicking HERE.

Support me on Patreon HERE!

Logo by Gino "The Slightly-Tanned Gift" Moretto.

Ghostwatch '26 Update

Spoiler here--still no ghosts.

I was told that the library was haunted, oh, probably three years ago (the librarian that told me it was "totally haunted" no longer works here), and I've kept my eyes open ever since.  No ghosts so far.

Tonight, there was a woman, however, standing completely still in the hallway.*  When I zoomed in on the image, I saw that she had empty sockets where her eyes should be.

Other than that, it's hardly worth mentioning (she's not dressed in an old-fashioned or ghost-like way), and she's not scary in the slightest . . . so why am I mentioning it?  I don't know, I just like to type blog posts when I'm here at work, and I imagine people (or person) out there like them.

The thing is, there are a couple of high-definition cameras here in the library, where you can zoom in and get facial details or license plates, but most of them are just low-def video cameras that get more and more pixelated as you enhance the image.  And because of that, I've seen several people that have empty eye sockets or gaping black Edvard Munch mouths.  I just don't bother writing about it anymore.  

But if I ever see a woman with long flowing hair and a wispy white dress blowing in a non-existent breeze pointing her finger at me in a silent accusatory scream, I'll be sure to let you know.

I realize this image isn't great, but I kept it because the hand is on the wrong side.  VERY common with ghosts.

*Sometimes--okay, nearly always--the video readout glitches and the images are momentarily frozen, so people will appear or disappear as the footage catches up with realtime, but this was just a woman standing there, thinking or listening to music or ____.  

My Voice In "Manor Of Frights" Collection

I often mention it when I narrate or lend my voice to a story on other podcasts, but I suppose I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that Emerian Rich has recently put out a collection of stories that she performed on the HorrorAddicts podcast, many of which feature my voice as well.

The collection includes (at least as far as I can tell) seventeen stories, each taking place in a room of a macabre Victorian manor, and are as follows:

Flowers in the Foyer by DW Milton
Storage by Ollie Fox
Bye, Baby Bunting by Leslie Warren

Withered Bindings by Michael Fassbender
Dinner Guests by Emerian Rich
A Green Thumb by Daphne Strasert
Turning Pages by Mark Orr

A Fresh Start by D.J. Pitsiladis
The Living Room by Amanda Leslie
Lanai by BF Vega
Cacophony by Judith Pancoast
Nightbears by Loren Rhodes
Beyond the Ensuite by Barend Nieuwstraten III (I remember reading this one and thinking, "What the devil's an ensuite?"  Oh, I was so naive in those days.  But I still don't know)
The Desiccated Heart by Sumiko Saulson
A Study in Terror by Jason Fischer
Come Find Me, Mummy by Rosetta Yorke
Missing by R.L. Merrill

Emz put these out where you can buy the whole collection in audio, and it's now up on Audible HERE.  Just pray the doors don't lock behind you.

Sidekick Chart 3

It's practically the end of the month, and it seems clear I will not make my goal of finishing "A Sidekick To Miracles," even though it was totally doable.

The problem is, writing is hard.  And rewriting is, if not just as hard, probably less enjoyable, and that makes it just as difficult.  I have had several opportunities to get to work on the audiobook this month, and have found an excuse not to nearly every single time.

Today, though, I found myself alone in the house for a few minutes, and I forced myself to sit down and at least finish Chapter 3.  It took approximately five times longer than it should have, which is not great, but also not the worst I've done on one of these.  And then, after my run tonight, I did Chapter 4 (which is barely a chapter, and still took twenty-something minutes).

So, here's where our bottle stands as of now (great, it is not):

You may think I'm doing better than last time, at least as far as the bottle goes . . . and you'd be right.  Last time, I thought there were fifteen chapters in the book, but there are only thirteen.  So it looks like I've made much better progress than I have.

Marshal & Rish Bury . . . The Living??

I remember watching I BURY THE LIVING! at the family cabin alone on a Sunday afternoon last fall.  It's a 1958 horror film about a man (Richard Boone) hired to work at a cemetery with a big map of all the burial plots who discovers that, when he puts a pin in a space, the person who owns that plot dies.  Or do they?

Okay, I'll be honest: until today, I had completely forgotten we had watched this movie, and had it confused with the Daisy Ridley zombie flick that came out a month back.  But not too long ago, Marshal Latham and I did an episode talking about it, and I even did a whole separate podcast episode inspired by it, talking about Stephen King's "Obits," which was also inspired by it.

Maybe you'll be inspired too.  Check it out HERE.

Rish Outcast 321: The Dark Gift Part I

Rish presents the first half of his recent carnival story, "The Dark Gift." Nobie, Eris, and Grump are enjoying the 1992 Pickle Days celebration when Nobie spins a wheel and it stops on something it wasn't supposed to.

Afterward, Rish explains the title and inspiration--making this probably the only story he's ever written due to spite.

Note: This was not intended to be split into two episodes, so it might behoove you to wait and listen to both parts together.  Or, judging by its reaction elsewhere . . . not at all.

If you want to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you want to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "The Dork Gift" Moretto.

Funny, You Don't Look A Hundred

Not too terribly long ago, I posted on here that my little Instagram clips of Fake Sean Connery had reached fifty installments (I don't quite dare call them episodes).  It was a little game I came up with where Fake Sean would quote a popular song, and those in the comments could try to guess it.

Well, nobody gave a Yeti's bunion about my little enterprise, but I enjoyed it so much, I just kept doing it, vowing to go to a hundred videos, come high or hell water.  And now, here we are, with a hundred of them*, and I wanted to commemorate it on here.

It could always be worse.

And, like I did before, I thought it would be fun** to count the number of songs by each decade, just to see how many Eighties songs I shoved in there.  There will always be more from the Eighties than any other decade, you understand.***

1800s: 1

1920s: 1

1940s: 1

1950s: 2

1960s: 9

1970s: 13

1980s: 39

1990s: 12

2000s: 8

2010s: 5

2020s: 9

Unfortunately, I discovered two doubles this time--"I Don't Like Mondays" was the 63rd video and the one I thought I was saving until 100th (whoops).  Worse, I noted that "Mad World" by Tears For Fears was both the 49th and 97th song presented, but instead of deleting it as I did "Mondays," I figured that one could be the Tears For Fears version (80s) and one the Gary Jules version (00s).

And now that I've reached the landmark one hundredth segment, should I stop?  

Oh, it's a rhetorical question.  I'm not stopping.  Try to stop me if you want to.  I checked and I still have seventeen songs recorded during my various trips to the cabin I've not yet used.  At the rate I've been putting them out, I should be able to start on new ones once the snow melts again in the spring.  Oh joy.

*Though I did substitute Fake Michael Caine twice the week of Christmas.  It's an impression that's not nearly as good as my Connery, but since no one was watching . . .

**Fun not guaranteed.  Consult your physician if fun becomes excessive or swollen.

***I recently saw a YouTube rant about a woman--middle-aged and nearly as pleasant as that tool who replaced Tucker Carlson on Fox News--complaining about having suffered through the Eighties once already, why would she ever want to listen to Eighties music now?  I quickly turned the video off, lest it give me AIDS.

Rish Narrates "Restroom Finds" on Tales To Terrify

 Okay, this one has to be the last one.

Once again, I lent my voice to the Tales To Terrify podcast to narrate a story, this one Calvin Demmer's "Restroom Finds."

This is a very short story, one that shows just a glimpse of a post- or mid-apocalyptic world where the government has given way to martial law, and it's every man (or woman, or child) for themselves.  The narrator drives along, picking up supplies when he can, and stopping at a truck stop restroom, hoping to scavenge something useful . . . you never know.

No, Calvin, you don't.

This story is almost ridiculously short, but that doesn't automatically make it not worth your time.  After all, I'm the narrator, so . . .

Check it out HERE.

Rish Outcast 320: In Security 8

Rish tells more stories about being a security guard. Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know.

In this one, Rish talks about being at the library for one year, as well as the lady who has seizures, and what seems like actual progress with her. He also talks about the relationship between librarians and security, the girl whose first day it wasn't, his limited Spanish-speaking ability, and in a bit of a downer*, the girl who was covering her face.

*A bit??

Download the file directly by Right-Clicking HERE.

Why don't you support me on Patreon HERE?  What, are you chicken?

Logo by Gino "Sit & Spin Security" Moretto.

Sidekick Chart 2

Okay, I sat down and recorded the opening and closing titles, half of Chapter 1, then went for a drive (I had meant to get my oil changed, but they claimed they were all full up for the entire day--"double-booked," is how they put it).  I came back and finished Chapter 1 and got Chapter 2 done.  It was a bit of a slog, but hey, this process always is.

Are You Blind, Mister Spock?

Sometimes people will come into the library to take pictures, often for graduation, sometimes for engagement photos, and occasionally for a third reason*.  It's a public building, and we try to be welcoming to people who want to come here, so unless they're shooting a Slasher film or a striptease, they are free to do so.  There are some on the second floor doing that right now.

Anyway, at the same time, there's a guy and a girl moving from point to point throughout the building taking pictures, ostensibly for some kind of modeling gig (they're right in front of me now--I guess I could sneak a photo for the blog, but it's going to be pretty blurry).  And I wouldn't even notice it, except that I still have it in my head that pretty people are better than the rest of us, and I doubt I'll ever outgrow that mindset, even if I live to be sixty-five.

Also, I certainly wouldn't be blogging about it except for one unusual feature--the young model in question is dressed entirely in black and white, with a long black jacket, boots, and a long white dress.  And her hair is blond on the right side and completely black on the left, I guess like Cruella De vil, but what it really reminds me of are those aliens in the "Star Trek" episode that were black and white in that way, yet had this ridiculous racist idea that black on the right side was somehow better or worse than black on the left side.

In the episode (1969's "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"), Frank Gorshin says, "Are you blind, Commander Spock?  I am black on the right side!"  The people he hates are white on the right side, and that's all it takes to not only hate them, but want to exterminate them.  

It's a clunky episode in a lot of ways, and always pisses people off because it doesn't properly explain race dynamics or vilify white men enough, but it does get one thing right: there's no real justification in hating another people, just arbitrary, invented excuses for it.  And that applies in the 21st Century as well as in the 20th (or the 23rd).

Another fantastic photo taken by me.  Truly, I missed my calling.

As I was typing this, the friendliest of the homeless folks that come here daily, Roger, pointed at the girl through the window and said, "Look, it's Cruella!"  To which, I stood up and said, "Are you blind, Homeless Roger?  Cruella has white hair on the right side.  That girl has black hair on the right side!"

Okay, I didn't actually say that.  I just nodded and kept on typing.

*In fact, there are three about-to-be college graduates standing above me at this very moment, and if they're not careful, I can see up their grad gowns.