Sidekick Chart 2

Okay, I sat down and recorded the opening and closing titles, half of Chapter 1, then went for a drive (I had meant to get my oil changed, but they claimed they were all full up for the entire day--"double-booked," is how they put it).  I came back and finished Chapter 1 and got Chapter 2 done.  It was a bit of a slog, but hey, this process always is.

Are You Blind, Mister Spock?

Sometimes people will come into the library to take pictures, often for graduation, sometimes for engagement photos, and occasionally for a third reason*.  It's a public building, and we try to be welcoming to people who want to come here, so unless they're shooting a Slasher film or a striptease, they are free to do so.  There are some on the second floor doing that right now.

Anyway, at the same time, there's a guy and a girl moving from point to point throughout the building taking pictures, ostensibly for some kind of modeling gig (they're right in front of me now--I guess I could sneak a photo for the blog, but it's going to be pretty blurry).  And I wouldn't even notice it, except that I still have it in my head that pretty people are better than the rest of us, and I doubt I'll ever outgrow that mindset, even if I live to be sixty-five.

Also, I certainly wouldn't be blogging about it except for one unusual feature--the young model in question is dressed entirely in black and white, with a long black jacket, boots, and a long white dress.  And her hair is blond on the right side and completely black on the left, I guess like Cruella De vil, but what it really reminds me of are those aliens in the "Star Trek" episode that were black and white in that way, yet had this ridiculous racist idea that black on the right side was somehow better or worse than black on the left side.

In the episode (1969's "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"), Frank Gorshin says, "Are you blind, Commander Spock?  I am black on the right side!"  The people he hates are white on the right side, and that's all it takes to not only hate them, but want to exterminate them.  

It's a clunky episode in a lot of ways, and always pisses people off because it doesn't properly explain race dynamics or vilify white men enough, but it does get one thing right: there's no real justification in hating another people, just arbitrary, invented excuses for it.  And that applies in the 21st Century as well as in the 20th (or the 23rd).

Another fantastic photo taken by me.  Truly, I missed my calling.

As I was typing this, the friendliest of the homeless folks that come here daily, Roger, pointed at the girl through the window and said, "Look, it's Cruella!"  To which, I stood up and said, "Are you blind, Homeless Roger?  Cruella has white hair on the right side.  That girl has black hair on the right side!"

Okay, I didn't actually say that.  I just nodded and kept on typing.

*In fact, there are three about-to-be college graduates standing above me at this very moment, and if they're not careful, I can see up their grad gowns.

Goal Chart of a Sidekick

So, nearly a decade ago, I wrote "A Sidekick To Miracles," another Ben Parks novella, this one inspired by a piece of media I hated by one of my favorite creators.  For years, it has sat, gathering dust and irrelevance, but I set the goal of getting the whole thing recorded in the month of February.  In keeping with my goal, tonight I created a goal chart thermometer thing* so I can track my progress--in public.  Here goes.

This may not work, but I put a progress bar on there for each chapter I get recorded.

*I know there's a word for this, but I am never able to remember it.  Never.

Rish & Josey Wales Review THE OUTLAW MARSHAL LATHAM

From A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS to UNFORGIVEN, Clint Eastwood made a lot of Westerns.  This one, from 1976, lies somewhere in the middle.  A war veteran seeks vengeance on the soldiers that murdered his family, but gains allies along the way.*  It was a movie both of us liked a lot, even though I've already forgotten why.

Let's find out together . . . right HERE.

*In many ways, Marshal Latham can relate, except for he actually sought vengeance on his family, for what they did to soldiers . . . and now he's telling me they were toy soldiers.  Holy cow, he may not be nearly as good a guy as I've been giving him credit for.

Podcast That Dares 67: Brothers Beyond The Void

Rish, with special guest Big Anklevich, presents Paul W. Fairman's 1952 story, "Brothers Beyond The Void," about the first man to visit Mars. They also talk about the classic episode of television it inspired.

To download this episode, Right-Click HERE.

To support Rish on his Patreon page, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Brother Beyond The Droid" Moretto.

Jonathan Wilson Brings My "Ash Tree" Reading To Life

Well, a half-life anyway.

One of my favorite writers to run stories by on the Podcast That Dares is MR James, and my favorite of those stories (so far) has been "The Ash Tree."  It's a really creepy tale about skulking creatures in the night, and the ending does not disappoint.  And what Jonathan has done is extremely simple, yet it totally works--he's got an image of a foggy manor house at night that is subtly animated, and that's the only visual.* 

It's something I wish I were capable, not only due to its effect, but its simplicity.  Anyway, give it another listen RIGHT HERE.  Thanks, Jonathan!

*Other than burned-in subtitles, unfortunately.

The Case of the Wandering Laptop

INT. PUBLIC LIBRARY - DAY

A homeless dude was talking to me at my desk about an hour ago, which is totally fine except for the way his voice carried every time he used the f-word (funny how variable sound can be), when a patron--young, probably a student--approached me and said that someone had taken his laptop.

Well, that was the homeless dude's cue to leave*, as I stood up to help the guy out--or see if I could.  The young man (let's call him "the student" from this point on) explained that he'd been sitting in the northwest corner desk, typing on his laptop, then he got up and got lunch, and when he came back, his laptop was gone.

My immediate question was, "Why would you leave your laptop alone when you went to eat?" but people always do that--every single day, I see someone's phone left alone to charge, or their iPad left unattended, or worst of all (and it is rare), their keys or wallet just left on the desk while they walk away.**  However, I didn't have to.

The student explained that he had gotten up, put his laptop in his backpack, went to lunch, and when he came back, the laptop was gone from his backpack.  I checked the recording, and he had sat right under a security camera, so I told him I would look at the footage.  Sure enough, he got up, put the laptop in the bag, then left his books there while he walked offscreen.  He came back about half an hour later, his backpack still on his shoulder.  On the video, he sat down again, opened his bag, and then started looking around.  So if someone had stolen the laptop, it was when the student had been outside the view of the cameras.  

I asked him if he had put down his bag while he ordered or ate, and if someone might have taken it then.  He didn't know, all he knew was when he came back to the desk, his computer was gone.

Well, there wasn't much I could do.  I told him the story of the lady who had put her laptop on top of her truck and driven away with it on there, but this was nothing like that.  He said he had checked his car thoroughly and the laptop was not there.  It was a mystery.  He said, "You saw me put it in here, right?" and he patted his backpack.  Then, a look came over his face, and he unzipped the bag . . . revealing that the laptop was right there in the bag, and had been the whole time.

He apologized, he went red, and he tried to explain, but ultimately, he walked off to continue his homework where he'd been sitting before.  Embarrassing, isn't it?

Buy hey, I believe him.  I really do.  That sort of thing happens to me all the time.

So, all's well that ends well, no?

*I guess I would be suspicious about that had this story gone another way.  But it didn't.

**When I was first hired, I would grab people's wallets to take to the lost and found whenever I saw them just sitting there.  But one guy actually told me not to, that people around here just leave his stuff alone.  So my current rule is: I take any wallet or keys that seem abandoned to lost and found . . . except his.

My Story "Returning The Favor" Available - Warning: Idaho!

I recently put out a Lara & The Witch story called "On Your Side," which I believe I mentioned was a sort of two-parter*, even though I decided they're distinct enough to release separately.

In this tale, the time has come for Old Widow Holcomb to pay back another witch for a favor she did her.  She takes Lara on a road trip to find a mushroom . . . the magical (and impossible-to-find) Cordobese bone fungus.  Who knows what they do, but they taste great on pizza!

If you'd like to read it, check it out HERE.

*Enough that I nearly called this story "On Your Side: One Year Later" instead of its own thing.

I Narrate "The Oval Portrait" On Journey Into...

Hey there, sir, would you take a look at that portrait there?  What shape would you say it is?  Not a circle, exactly, but definitely not a square or rectangle.  Hmmm.

The other day, I sat down to record some audio (I finished another reading of a Lara & The Witch story), when I got a text from Marshal Latham, reminding me it was Poe Month on his podcast.*  He was thinking of running "The Gold Bug" again (Princess Leia forbid), and I told him I could record something.  While I waited for his reply, I did a search for Edgar Allan Poe stories, and found "The Oval Portrait," which I had never read.  It was short, so maybe I could record and edit it in time.

A minute later, I got the message from Marshal, "How about The Oval Portrait?"

Well, it was Karma, I suppose, so I quickly performed the story, got it edited, and sent to Marshal the same day.  Like I said, it's real short.

So, the newest episode of Journey Into... is up and available.  Feel free to check it out HERE, and feel free-er to go HERE and support Marshal's fine podcast on Patreon.  Tell 'em Large Marge sent ya.

*To all who celebrate.

How Much Horror Is Enough?

(I covered this in my New Year's episode, but since I went to the trouble of typing it up . . .)

Well, just turning on the news is too much horror, but as far as horror movies go, this is what I watched in 2025.  I had set a goal of seeing fifty horror movies in that year (and I'll set it again for this year), so here's how I did:

 13.  Watch 50 Horror movies (149 films total)

-1.  Nosferatu (2024)*

-2.  Village of the Damned (1960)*

-3.  Children of the Damned (1964)

-4. 13 Ghosts (1960)

-5.  Hell's Trap (1989)

-6.  Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984)

-7.  Food of the Gods (1976)

-8.  The Ghost Ship (1943)

-9.  The Leopard Man (1943)*

-10.  Talk To Me (2022)*

-11.  Heart Eyes (2025)*

-12.  The Monkey (2025)

-13.  The Monster of Piedras Blancas (1959)

-14.  The Thing From Another World (1951)*

-15.  Squirm (1976)

-16.  Sinners* (2025)

-17.  The Conjuring  (2013)

-18. Until Dawn (2025)

-19.  Frogs (1972)

-20.  Final Destination Bloodlines* (2025)

-21.  IT! The Terror From Beyond Space (1958)

-22.  The Monster That Challenged The World (1957)

-23.  Annabelle (2014)

-24.  28 Years Later (2025)*

-25.  Fantasy Island (2020)

-26.  M3GAN 2.0

-27.  Planet of the Vampires (1965)

-28.  Daughters of Darkness (1971)

-29.  House of Whipcord (1974)

-30.  I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025)

-31. Dead of Night (1945)

-32.  Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)

-33.  Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo (1977)

-34.  Weapons (2025)*

35.  Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957)

36.  Jaws (1975)*

37.  The Conjuring 2 (2016)

38.  Transylvania Twist (1989)

39.  Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025)

40.  The Dungeonmaster (1984)

41.  Kill, Baby, Kill (1966)

42.  Ants/It Happened At Lakewood Manor (1977)

43.  Annabelle Creation (2017)

44.  The Savage Bees (1976)

45.  Terror Out Of The Sky (1978)

46.  The Bees (1978)

47.  Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973)

48.  Black Phone 2 (2025)*

49.  The Cabin In The Woods (2011)*

50.  Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (1982)

51.  The Nun (2018)

52.  The Woman In The Yard (2025)

53. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

54. The Birds (1963)*

55.  Five Nights At Freddy’s (2023)

56.  Willy’s Wonderland (2021)

57.  Jaws 2 (1978)

58.  The Curse of La Llorona (2019)

59.  Anaconda (2025)

60.  The Incubus (1982)  

(*Denotes particularly good, underline denotes seen before)

How did you do last year? If you watched more than twenty horror films, between you and me, you have a problem.

Cry In The Night, If It Helps

I rarely use this blog to toot my own horn . . . and this isn't that either.

Monday, I walked past a guy who was using the courtesy phone at our library, his back to me, his breath hitching in what was either a happy sound or a sad one, but loud either way. I looked over at the Circulation desk, where the clerk there was one of three library employees who have made it clear they're no fans of mine (there are probably more, but they haven't said). Still, I approached her and said, "Is that guy laughing or crying?" She glanced past me and said, "Been there a while. Sounds like he's crying."

Huh.  

Well, I don't always engage with strangers when they're in distress, but the librarians have told me they absolutely don't do it, so I waited until he hung up the phone and took him a box of tissues. He was a heavyset twenty-something, was indeed crying, and when I asked if he was okay, he unburdened himself on me, telling me he had just gotten word that his grandmother died and he had been planning on visiting her in the springtime, but now he never could. She had practically raised him and now he'd never see her again. He made use of those tissues, and I considered telling him I understood, and that just that day, we'd picked out a headstone for my uncle, but he didn't really want to hear from me . . . he just wanted somebody to listen.

So I did. We're not supposed to touch patrons (you can understand why), but I did pat this guy on the arm, and eventually, he went off to find a place to sit down and mourn in peace. I made my way back to the Circulation desk to explain what had happened to the clerk there, but she told me she had heard him (the poor dude had been pretty vocal) and me. She gave me a reluctant nod as if to say, "I still don't like you much, but that was pretty nice."

(I asked A.I. to generate me an image of the lady in question, based on my description.  Not too far off, really)

I'll take my victories, as minor as they may be.