In this TMI show, I talk about my Uncle Len, who passed away. I drone on about his funeral, and then share a new story in his memory, "Here With My Childhood Friend."
Note: The story is a sequel to "Who Can It Be Now?" which was presented in Episode 170 of the show.
Download the episode HERE.
Support me on Patreon HERE.
Logo by Gino "My Adulthood Friend" Moretto.
Are you familiar with that Gospel song that says, "I don't give a f**k, I don't give a f**k, I don't give a f**k?" Come to think of it, it might have been a Rap song. But regardless, we've reached that point of the year. So, I appreciate you coming along on this voyage.
Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 200
Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 200
Words Today: 314
Words In December: 501
Another month is over, a new one just begun. And the best that you can hope for, Is to die in your sleep.
I tried, I really tried, to get these push-ups and sit-ups done to achieve my goal. But just like the kid that starts his term paper the day before it's due, it's simply not possible to get it all in at the last minute.* It's pretty late at night, and I'll do a few more of each, but then I'm going to bed, to heck with the goals.
Sit-ups Today: 248
Sit-ups In November: 3214
My cousin and I watched two episodes of the Marvel Studios "Hawkeye" series tonight, which I quite enjoyed, and finished the third season of "What We Do In The Shadows," which didn't thrill me near as much.
The scene in "Hawkeye" where his son calls him and he can't hear what he's saying ranks up there with the second-to-last episode of "Loki" in my favorite Disney+ Marvel stuff ever. If I could write something that good before I die (which is coming up, I realize), I'd consider myself proud.
Push-ups Today: 300
Push-ups In November: 3537
I'll say one thing for the end of the month, it sure gave me a push to do a little bit more under the wire.
Words Today: 1079
Words In November: 20,327
*I was assigned to review "Uncle Tom's Cabin" in college, and tried reading the whole book the day before the paper was due, and to this day, have no memory of ANYTHING in that book.
I sat down to finish watching the Beatles documentary from the night before . . . and it was gone.
Somehow, the episode had been removed from Disney+, so I never found out why George left the rehearsal sessions (and presumably the band).*
Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In November: 2966
Words Today: 985
Words In November: 19,228
*Apparently, this was always their plan. Two days later, the second episode had dropped off the service, and soon, night must fall. That is the way of things, the way of the Force.
**Like the time all the computers rebooted for no reason a year
ago--the last time I came in and used their systems, before bringing in
my laptop instead--losing everything I had been working on that night.
Crazy that I would ever come back and do this again after that, but you
know what they say Einstein said about the definition of insanity (which
is one of my least-favorite sayings, right below "I could care less").
By
the way, Albert Einstein never said that. The quote was first
attributed to him in the 80's, which otherwise was a pretty good
decade. Except for AIDS and that movie Stallone did with Dolly Parton, I
mean.
I'm pretty sure my math is wrong (it always is), but according to the above, it's the six hundred and sixty-sixth of these in a row. A special number to me (and the Dark Prince, of course), and the number Big Anklevich told me would be great to stop with the daily blogging. End on a high note, in other words.
Unfortunately, I haven't stopped. But let's agree, just between us, to pretend that I have.
Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In November: 2866
I considered going on another hike today (I wish I had, really, before the real winter weather begins), but I was reading Abbie's novella, and when I looked up, it was already getting dark at 4:15pm. I'm NOT blaming Abbie for not exercising . . . I'm blaming whoever's idea it was for the sun to go down before five pm.
Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In November: 3117
1. Go on one hike a month.
Sure, even considered going on two this month.
This was an early start day. After my father died, my brother (traditionally) would go to the cabin at the end of the season and winterize everything by himself. But three years back (I think), when I started staying there on my own, I volunteered to go with him to learn how it was done and see if I could help.
So I've gone every year since then, and he told me on Thursday that today, Saturday, would be that day. My nephew really wanted to go, because he thought he would see a badger, and I told him to bundle up, because it would be between sixteen and twenty degrees up there (hence me not going back the last two weeks). But to my surprise, it was forty degrees out, above freezing, and the road had almost no snow on it. In other words, I could've gone another two times this year, if I'd been brave enough.*
*I could totally have gathered firewood during the day, so I'd have some at night when it got below freezing. But I've been there when it's in the teens outside, and the cabin never gets warm--heck, I think it was that way in the twenties (could be my fire-making skills just suck, though).
Nothing much to share today. Oh, I'll give you one little thing: because a bunch of relatives were in town for Thanksgiving, there was a family gathering at a Mexican restaurant we've gone to for nearly forty years, and there were about twenty-five of us.
I chose to sit next to my four year old nephew. But that was a mistake.
My sister sat across from me, we ordered our food, munched on chips and salsa, and I drank a Pepsi.* Just as the food started coming, my sister's eyes went big, and she said, "Get up, get up, get up!" I was a bit slow in processing that, but looked over at my nephew, and SPLOTCH! the boy started vomiting.
It went all over the table, the seat, and a bit on me and the boy. Well, that was a learning experience.
I went back to the kitchen staff and asked for paper towels, and they gave me washcloths and a garbage bag to dump them in when I was done. My brother-in-law took the boy to the bathroom, and when he came back, he'd turned the kid's shirt inside out. That was a good idea, but I had no such freedom.
That's it.
Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In November: 2666
Push-ups Today: 50
Push-ups In November: 2917
Words Today: 270
Words In November: 17,472
*I'm afraid I've gotten almost up to my pre-pandemic weight, mostly because I eat ice cream, rarely go running anymore, and have broken rules like this one, drinking regular soda instead of the sugar-free kind. But what can you do?
Happy Thanksgiving!
I like Thanksgiving a lot, even though I complain. We did a big family get-together at the conference room at a motel a couple of towns south of me.
I tried to get pictures of everybody, and took between fifty and sixty of them. There's nothing worth mentioning there, except that at one point, I asked my Aunt Blanca if she'd take a picture with my cousin Taylor. He said, "Really?" and got next to his mom, and I took the picture. My aunt said, "You know, I'll bet that's the first time we've ever gotten a picture together." I thought that was weird . . . until I realized that she wasn't his mom at all, he's my Uncle Ali's kid. Whoops.
Push-ups Today: 105
Push-ups In November: 2867
Okay, even that wasn't an amusing story. How about this?
So, my sister got her kids' hair cut yesterday in preparation for Thanksgiving, and this morning, as we were getting dressed for the activity, she exclaimed, "Where did all that hair in the sink come from?"
Well, I had shaved before my shower this morning, and I thought I'd forgotten to wash it down, but no, it was an extraordinary amount of hair, and I hadn't shaved off my whole beard. Wait, where was the four year old? Why was he hiding?
Turned out he had grabbed a pair of scissors and gone to town on his head, just as the barber had with him yesterday. I guess every kid has done that at one time or another*, but she had to call around to see if someone could give the boy another haircut, to try to salvage it. My Uncle John's wife did the best she could to even out the damage, but it looks like what it is: a kid with a mostly buzzed head. My sister is sad because she'd wanted to do family photos for Christmas, and I suggested they put a Santa or elf hat on the four year old. We'll see if she takes my advice, or just skips the pictures this year.
I had this idea today--came to me in the shower--of writing a Star Wars Thanksgiving sketch. It's as bad as it sounds: either the Emperor or Grand Moff Tarkin is throwing a holiday banquet, and everyone around the table, including Darth Vader, has to say what they are thankful for. In my head, it was pretty funny (I had this twisted idea that one of those sick, pale Imperial Dignitaries from JEDI is there, and what he's thankful for is so gross and bent that Admiral Motti does a spit take). But alas, it came to me on Thanksgiving Day, so if I write it, it'll have to be for next year. I dunno.
Words Today: 479
Words In November: 17,202
*My mom told us that my little brother tried cutting off all his sister's hair when he was four or five himself, a memory I'd completely forgotten.
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, which isn’t a holiday, but might as well be. I went to three different Walmarts today, and all three were busier than they usually are, especially the last one, which is often unusually busy. It makes me remember back to the early days of the pandemic, when there was no toilet paper or bottled water or soup or adult diapers, and the line outside Costco went off into the horizon.* Good times.
Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In November: 2466
So, here I am at the library—three nights in a row—with about an hour left before closing. I haven’t written a word, but I did attempt to read an article about the first-ever female prime minister in Sweden, and how she resigned after seven hours . . . but I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Either it was incredibly badly-written, or I am even dumber than usual.
I changed my mind about the gender-swapping I did of two characters on Monday, and changed the boy to a girl and the woman to a man. You’d think it was a major waste of time, but it gave me more than five hundred words, going through and rewriting the scene yet again. I also changed the character’s name to Suspiria, "Speer" for short. I will consider this a minor triumph in 2021 if I finish this story.
Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In November: 2762
I got an email from Abbie Hilton, telling me she had a novella for me to narrate. She wasted no air asking if I'd do it, just said, "Here's the file, here's what I'll pay you, can you have it done by New Year's?" In some ways, I admire the heck out of that (that's the major league chutzpa that would've made me a success in life--and I've never used that word in all my days**), and in others, it's pretty scary. But I'll buckle down, read through the story, find a typo, read the dialogue aloud, and sit down and get this sucker recorded . . . and it will turn out excellent, I just know it.
That's some low-level chutzpa, at least.
Words Today: 610
Words In November: 16,723
*And people have already forgotten all about that.
**Which means I'll encounter it half a dozen times in the coming week. That's The Baader–Meinhof Phenomenon, fellas.
