This is my thirty-seventh day of writing, and I want to say a little something before I blog (oh, I owe you that climbing-a-hillside mini-podcast too--I'll drop that in a minute). I heard a friend of mine talking about the goals he'd set for himself in 2020 and February and how he wasn't able to achieve them, and how bad he felt, and then he mentioned me and how "successful" I've been with my writing, and how bummed out that made him.
I mean, he was happy for me, don't misunderstand, but he was comparing himself the way I sometimes compare myself to . . . the alien S-word.
Yeah, I've been doing great with writing every day and exercising every day (despite what my goose-stepping phone app keeps telling me), but I'm far from perfect. I've only written fifteen words today, and started some stories just this year that it looks like I'll never finish (and doesn't that make all those writing hours wasted?), and it's the eighth of the month and I haven't published anything, despite my goal being publish a story a week.
And one day (soon), I will not write, and one day (sooner) I will not exercise, and it'll all be over. In the same way I know that one day my feelings will change and all these things I wrote under the Muse's influence will seem trite and embarrassing, and I'll feel worse than I ever felt good in December, January, and February. It's inevitable, but I have to find a way to make peace with that. I need to keep in mind that working hard was a good thing, and sadly, sometimes work is its own reward. I need to know that the time I was striving to reach my goals was more important than the time when I give up will be.
I guess what I'm saying is, yes, I will die alone (and soon), but that doesn't mean there weren't good times before that, and that I didn't achieve something in my given time. So there.
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| I guess this is just how dark it was when I took my picture. |
As a little bonus, here's my report from Friday, when I "rewarded" myself for finishing my script by trying to go on a hike.
Hopefully, you enjoy this, and want me to keep doing these little audio things (instead of write).
Speaking of which, I got very little writing done today. I took my laptop with me, but used it to edit audio instead of doing much writing. I don't think I'll even get a thousand words today because I'm tired and the clock claims it's an hour later than it feels today.
Because some people are always trying to iceskate uphill, I drove up a different canyon today, and parked my car, and tried to take a walk. I didn't make it too far, since there was still snow on the ground. I did sing a little song and recorded it, though there were no storage units nearby, and I couldn't remember the words for the life of me.
I wonder if I should post that as a Storage Unit Serenade, or just put it up here as a lil bonus.
Words Today: 1,153
Words This Month: 12,494
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