Rish makes Marshal watch the new promos for Disneyland, featuring fake-Han Solo and faux-Princess Leia, briefly calls Big Anklevich a baby, and tries to counter the many, many complaints about this new change. Does anybody remember the Galactic Starcruiser? Don't people have a way to tap into their inner child? Wanna hear the story again about the first Spider-man movie? And how is Anaheim, California like Berlin, Germany?
Check it out HERE!
From A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS to UNFORGIVEN, Clint Eastwood made a lot of Westerns. This one, from 1976, lies somewhere in the middle. A war veteran seeks vengeance on the soldiers that murdered his family, but gains allies along the way.* It was a movie both of us liked a lot, even though I've already forgotten why.
Let's find out together . . . right HERE.
*In many ways, Marshal Latham can relate, except for he actually sought vengeance on his family, for what they did to soldiers . . . and now he's telling me they were toy soldiers. Holy cow, he may not be nearly as good a guy as I've been giving him credit for.
Years ago, I tried to watch Mario Bava's 1965 film PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES, but only made it a few minutes in before losing consciousness. Years later, while visiting my friend in Germany, I tried it again, and maybe it was jetlag, but I fell asleep once again.
Here we are today (well, last year, actually), and I am attempting to watch it a third time, this time for Marshal Latham's "Outfield Excursions" podcast. Can I stay awake? Is the movie good? And was there any influence on Ridley Scott's ALIEN, the way the folks say? Find out HERE.
But don't worry, I doubt they'll ask me to do it again.
This time, the story was "What's Mine Is Yours, What's Yours Is Mined" by L.T. Williams. It's a dreamlike--almost nonsensical--short tale of the owner of an English coal mine who discovers the world and people around him changing into some kind of bleak industrial hellscape. It's the kind of morality play you used to see on "The Twilight Zone," even though I don't quite understand it. But that's okay--I'm not an audiobook narrator, but I do play one on TV.
Check it out HERE.
If you're interested in this first book in the Farseer Trilogy, what bit made each of us supremely angry, or listening to Abbie and me try not to interrupt each other, I think you'll get a kick out of it. It's for supporters of my Patreon, so check it out HERE (or HERE).
At least you'll enjoy the moment when she brings up (The Great) Brandon Sanderson and all he's done for authors and Kickstarter. Grrrr.
Have you ever read The Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb? I haven't, but a fan of Abigail Hilton's books recently mentioned that her favorite books were those by Abbie and "The Elderlings" series by Hobb. Abbie forwarded me the comment (since the listener said she was a fan of my narrations of the books), and I asked her if she thought I'd like the Hobb books.
Last year, Marshal Latham did a very bad thing. But what I did might have been even worse.
Over at the Journey Into... Podcast, he created a story contest once again inspired by the music of Journey. This time, though, there was a visual aspect to it all, as he fed the lyrics of each song into an image generating program. The song I was assigned was Faithfully, the one about a musician on the road, missing his lady love, and most certainly not mutant related.
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| Circus life, anyone? |
I know I said that last time was the final story I'm doing for the Tales To Terrify podcast, but whoops, here's another one. I was born without a spine, as you may recall.
This time it's "Dead By Night" by Edd Vick. It's very short, about nine minutes long, so they bundled it with another story, "Janelle Is Still Janelle," by Donovan Thiesson. In Vick's story, a young policeman investigates murders at a retirement home . . . in a case where stakes might be more useful than firearms.
Will it be my last? The answer cannot be found HERE. But you CAN probably find out if Janelle is still Janelle.
If you like, check out last week's Tales To Terrify podcast, where you can hear me perform the story "The Sin Eater's Chrysalis" by Matt Hollingsworth.
It tells the story of a lonely, bitter man who, like his father before him, is able to consume the sins of the recently-dead so that they can go to Heaven, using some pretty disgusting supernatural methods. But every consumption takes its mental and spiritual toll on the sin-eater, so he determines that nobody will follow in his footsteps. It's a dark one, more so than . . . gee, any story in memory I've been asked to do, and way more so than anything I've written. Sound fun?
I suppose this could be considered a cursed production, because I recorded and edited the story, sent it in, and only heard back the next year to learn that the podcast didn't have my audio. Not a huge deal, since I always keep my file until the show is released . . . except this time, apparently. Not sure why I had deleted it, because now we were both a bit scragged.* Even so, I sat down and re-recorded the story, transferred it, and re-edited the sucker. This is the ONLY time I've ever done this, in the, what, fifteen years I've put in narrating stories for podcasts.
Was it worth it? Go TO THIS LINK to find out.
*Of course, about a month later, I did find the original recording on my back-up SD Card, though far, far too late.
The last time "Cast of Wonders" asked me to narrate a story was "My Hilt Itches" in May of 2022. Seems like longer, but hey, better late(ish) than never.
Every writer has his or her strengths and weaknesses. There are naturally subjects and scenarios I am drawn to, and some I tend to stay as far away from as I can. One of those that I've struggled with is the dystopian future of Science Fiction or Horror.
This story, "Window Boy" by Thomas Ha, is a pretty masterful attempt at the age-old idea of a utopian future story . . . where it becomes clear that it's not a utopia at all. It's also a fanciful Sci-Fi tale about an innocent child that becomes a truly chilling Horror piece by the end.*
Jakey lives with his parents in a world where you don't go outside, but there are TV shows about cybernetic mailmen that protect the outside world from the monsters that roam its streets. And pretty much every night, Jakey has a conversation with the boy who comes to the window, shares a sandwich with him, and asks him questions about the house he lives in.
Dang, this was a good one--in fact, I'm going to interrupt this blog post and write the author an email about it. Well, that felt good. I suggest you do the same, if there's a writer you know of that could use a word of appreciation for their work. In the meantime, check out my performance of "Window Boy" HERE. But don't get too close.
*That is, if I interpreted it the way the author intended. Maybe I didn't. But if that's the case, well, that would mean the story was much less than the sum of its parts. And I don't think so.
For the past few months, Big Anklevich has been running his beefy novella, "The Elefante in the Room," on his podcast. I wasn't really involved, except to talk about his brief Eurotrip*. But now, the story is finished, and it's time for us to talk about it. So, you might as well listen to the whole darn thing (that's what I did).
A teen boy discovers some kind of alien-looking egg about to hatch in his room and uncovers a conspiracy that goes all the way to Selena Gomez. Oh, and the President. What is going on, and who will be next, and how can he possibly stop it?
Anyhow, he had me on for the last episode. We talk about the source of the idea, whether it's about what you think it's about, and would Big end it in the traditional Anklevich way? Find out the answers HERE.
*R.I.P. Michelle Trachtenberg.
Last month, Big spent a few days in Italy, and sacrificed a couple of hours' sleep telling Rish about it in between presenting chunks (the technical term) of his novella "The Elephant In The Room." What resulted was the world's longest podcast episode (of the Anklecast, anyway), as they chatted about the wonders of Venice, and the least-enjoyable way to visit Europe.
Oh, and the elephant in the room? That one of them has never read the story being presented on the show. You can--and will--check it out HERE.
Often, my voice is used over on the HorrorAddicts podcast playing a character, in one of the audio dramas/stories host Emerian Rich has produced. But this episode--their Halloween show--I'm just playing me, as she asked the non-musical question, "What are Horror writers scared of?" She wanted us to record our answers and send them to her, reiterating that she wasn't talking about low book sales, or modern politics, or gun violence, or how weird my scrotum looks from pretty much any angle.* She meant, what sorts of things actually scare us, either inspiring our writing, or creepy experiences we have had.
So, I happily sent in my response, and it's in the most recent episode, along with several other horror writers she knows. You can check it out HERE.
*A pretty specific personal detail, considering she sent (I assume) the same email out to everyone.
A couple of years back, I was asked to voice a character on "The Deadbringer," a Fantasy/Horror audio serial written by E.M. Markoff. I played Eutau Vidal, the main character's uncle, who runs an otherworldly funeral parlor. The segments were run on the HorrorAddicts podcast, but they've now been assembled as one full show, where you can hear all thirteen episodes in order, from sea to shining sea.
Anyway, check 'em out HERE. Tell them Uncle Eutau sent you . . . if you can manage that.
P.S. Turns out I actually blogged about this two years ago. Whoops.
Just asking.
In the latest Delusions of Grandeur podcast, Marshal Latham and I got together--very briefly--to discuss the new Star Wars Disney+ series that has everyone's Jedi robes in a bunch.
We talk a little about it, why people are upset with it, but don't really answer the real question: why do you hate "The Acolyte?" Check it out HERE.
By the way, EFF Ki-Adi-Mundi. There, I said it.
Over at Marshal Latham's Journey Into... channel, we've got a new episode on the Star Wars "Delusions of Grandeur" podcast. It ain't much, but it's a little sketch I started writing a year ago, and only finished this past Thanksgiving, about Grand Moff Tarkin throwing a sort of Thanksgiving of his own aboard the Death Star.
It's called "Tarkin's Tradition," and it's my usual thing. I dunno if you'll like the sketch, but it was a lot of fun to write and perform, and it's available HERE.
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Not sure why I'm posting this here, but a Facebook friend of mine, Eric Busby, posted a link to a trailer for "the greatest podcast ever," narrated by Morgan Freeman. And then he instantly revealed that it wasn't REALLY Morgan Freeman narrating, but an impersonator . . .
. . . and I thought, "Dang, I wish he'd asked me to do it. I do a sort of okay Morgan Freeman."
But then I clicked on THE LINK, and it made a bit more sense to me.
Thirteen years ago, PodCastle honored me with a request to narrate Tim Shaw/Heather Pratt's story "The Christmas Mummy." It got a more positive reaction than anything I had done up to that point (and maybe since). So, I was pleased when Dave Wallace let me know that the most recent PodCastle episode, PC 818, is a repackaging of that old show (even if my audio quality back then was *slightly* worse than today).
It tells the tale of a family visited by a holiday-themed mummy, as well as Christmas ninjas. Where could that go wrong? Check it out HERE!
Months back, Marshal Latham tried his darndest to end our friendship with his writing contest, the Quordel Quell. You may remember.
It was a contest where those who entered were given four words, generated by a game of Quordel (engineered by the Devil himself, by the way), that we were supposed to craft a story around. I struggled quite a bit with it, but went ahead and wrote a story, "With A Banjo On My Knee," and submitted it.*
It told of Garrett McClaren's discovery of a banjo that seems to have an unusual, maybe even magical effect on people.
Well, Marshal has created a production of that story over on the Journey Into... podcast, and it's available now, if you'd like to listen to it. He went nuts with full-cast (again), and there are a bunch of familiar faceless voices in this one.** I lent my voice to the main character's douchey boss (which is a bit strange, having a bit part in my own story, but I'm always happy to participate, as long as it doesn't involve editing), a young man with a banjo that people quite enjoy the sound of. Feel free to check it out HERE.
*It may have been the last time I ever wrote a story. And can you blame me? (you know who I blame)
**Big Anklevich also voices one of the characters.
Over the last couple of months, Big has had me on his podcast to comment on his novella "Do Over" (which I've been spelling do-over all this time), about a middle-aged man gets a chance to re-live the years when he was young, hopefully fixing what all went wrong.
Big presented it in five episodes of the Anklecast, and the last one is available now. If you weren't aware of it, and want to hear the two of us talk, as well as a twisty time travel tale, go HERE (for Part 1) and HERE (for Part 5).
