Podcast That Dares 59: For The Blood Is The Life

Rish presents F. Marion Crawford's 1911 short story "For The Blood Is The Life." Drink up!

To download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

To support my vain efforts on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "The Stud Is The Life" Moretto.

I Narrate "The Sin Eater's Chrysalis" on Tales To Terrify

If you like, check out last week's Tales To Terrify podcast, where you can hear me perform the story "The Sin Eater's Chrysalis" by Matt Hollingsworth.

It tells the story of a lonely, bitter man who, like his father before him, is able to consume the sins of the recently-dead so that they can go to Heaven, using some pretty disgusting supernatural methods.  But every consumption takes its mental and spiritual toll on the sin-eater, so he determines that nobody will follow in his footsteps.  It's a dark one, more so than . . . gee, any story in memory I've been asked to do, and way more so than anything I've written.  Sound fun?

I suppose this could be considered a cursed production, because I recorded and edited the story, sent it in, and only heard back the next year to learn that the podcast didn't have my audio.  Not a huge deal, since I always keep my file until the show is released . . . except this time, apparently.  Not sure why I had deleted it, because now we were both a bit scragged.*  Even so, I sat down and re-recorded the story, transferred it, and re-edited the sucker.  This is the ONLY time I've ever done this, in the, what, fifteen years I've put in narrating stories for podcasts.  

Was it worth it?  Go TO THIS LINK to find out.

*Of course, about a month later, I did find the original recording on my back-up SD Card, though far, far too late.

Rish Performs "The Window Boy" on Cast of Wonders

The last time "Cast of Wonders" asked me to narrate a story was "My Hilt Itches" in May of 2022.  Seems like longer, but hey, better late(ish) than never.

Every writer has his or her strengths and weaknesses.  There are naturally subjects and scenarios I am drawn to, and some I tend to stay as far away from as I can.  One of those that I've struggled with is the dystopian future of Science Fiction or Horror.  

This story, "Window Boy" by Thomas Ha, is a pretty masterful attempt at the age-old idea of a utopian future story . . . where it becomes clear that it's not a utopia at all.  It's also a fanciful Sci-Fi tale about an innocent child that becomes a truly chilling Horror piece by the end.*

Jakey lives with his parents in a world where you don't go outside, but there are TV shows about cybernetic mailmen that protect the outside world from the monsters that roam its streets.  And pretty much every night, Jakey has a conversation with the boy who comes to the window, shares a sandwich with him, and asks him questions about the house he lives in.

Dang, this was a good one--in fact, I'm going to interrupt this blog post and write the author an email about it.  Well, that felt good.  I suggest you do the same, if there's a writer you know of that could use a word of appreciation for their work.  In the meantime, check out my performance of "Window Boy" HERE.  But don't get too close.

*That is, if I interpreted it the way the author intended.  Maybe I didn't.  But if that's the case, well, that would mean the story was much less than the sum of its parts.  And I don't think so.

What's Today, My Fine Fellow?

Probably the horror film that made the biggest impact on teenaged me was DAWN OF THE DEAD.  The concept fascinated me, not just of the dead coming back to life, but the end of civilization with all the trappings of civilization still being there.  Some of the first stories I wrote as a teen were of me and my friends hunkered down at our school or in a shuttered spook alley (sorry) or the barn near Steven's house, while the zombies took over the world outside.

I have written a couple since then, such as one set when I worked in a call center, one set in a Toys R Us, and this one, "Christmas Day of the Dead," set in a sporting goods store.*  It's another of those tales where the POV character is a girl, which pretty much guarantees I'll never narrate it for my podcast, but I did sit down and record it for inclusion in my first Christmas story collection.

If you're inexplicably interested, check it out HERE.

*It's the one with the name that best describes the drivers of Cybertrucks, though I never spell it out in the story.

Marshal and I Experience THE TERROR

Unca Marshal and Cousin Rish over at the Outfield Excursions have reviewed the Roger Corman, er, "classic," THE TERROR, starring a pre-fame Jack Nicholson and a post-fame (sorry) Boris Karloff.  A lost French soldier encounters a spectral babe, a witch, a bird of prey, an old and paranoid Baron, a dude who becomes a dummy, and a Dick Miller on his way from a lonely stretch of beach to a castle and back again.  I'd tell you the name of the director, but I only have so much space on my blog.

Even if you don't care to hear us talk about THE TERROR, surely you want to hear my Karloff impression, no?

Check it out HERE.

Podcast That Dares 53: Rats in the Walls

Long overdue, Rish presents H.P. Lovecraft's lengthy story "The Rats in the Walls," a Horror/Adventure hybrid from nearly exactly a century ago.

If you wish to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you wish to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "The Brats In The Halls" Moretto.

Re-Evaluation /Third Time's The Charm

Recently, I spoke to a real Horror aficionado, a die hard fan, one who makes my admiration of the genre seem quite pedestrian.  He told me his favorite movie is THE THING (1982), but that PHANTASM from 1979 is high up on his list.  Now, I have never had a love for Carpenter's THE THING, though I can certainly appreciate its technical achievements and cool musical score.  But jeez, my memories of watching PHANTASM in the late Nineties have never faded, where Jeff and I watched it and disliked it so much that we never went on to its many sequels.  I have always remembered it as being both idiotic and confusing, both when I saw it as a child on television, and as a young adult.

But this guy absolutely *loves* Horror, so I asked the guy, "Can you help me to appreciate PHANTASM?  Because I never have been able to."  And he said, "Well, it's not for everybody.  But hey, why don't you try PHANTASM 2, which was made a couple of years later.  Maybe that will be more your style."

I mentioned it to Jeff, who has been watching a couple of movies each week with me, several of them in our favorite genre, and when we went to the library together, he produced a copy of the 1979 original and said, "What do you think?"  Well, I told him how I remembered thinking it was a dogturd the last time I saw it, but he reminded me that we watched SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT last month and that it pretty much kicked ass.  So, I shrugged and said I supposed I'd watch it with him if I had to.  I suggested we play a drinking game where every time Angus Scrimm said "Boooooooy," we'd take a gulp, hoping that would make it more enjoyable.*

Well, he also got a couple other movies, and I much preferred watching those to PHANTASM, but eventually, he proclaimed the time had come.  And I gotta say, I tried to find good things in the movie, such as the framing of a couple shots, a couple of angles of Scrimm staring or smiling, and the lovely--if repetitive--score by Fred Myrow . . . but it was few and far between.  There is the scene where the shiny ball kills the Tall Man's employee rather than its intended victim, and the gore and excessive amount of blood are pretty great.  

But that's a single moment, in a ninety minute borefest.  

It may be that, twenty-five years later than the last time I saw it, I liked PHANTASM even less than before.  And I have become far more tolerant of mediocrity lately than I used to be since, a lot of times, simply making a movie during the Golden Age of Slashers will be enough for me to give it at least two stars out of nostalgia.

Huh.

I recalled, both previous viewings, being horrified (in completely the wrong way) by how train-derailingly not scary the fuggin' jawas were, and in that respect, I was not disappointed.  But man, everything else . . .

. . . everything else ranged from mediocre to festering garbage.  It's all so slapdash and meandering, like when I was a kid and I'd get my friends together and start the camcorder up and we'd just make up whatever scene we were going to shoot on the fly, with no thought of where it might be going in later scenes.

The story is nonsensical, from beginning to wow, that ending, where is it all a dream?  Was it a boy's imagination coping with tragedy, which would almost be an effective ending if it were handled well, but then the Tall Man shows up and grabs the booooooooy and we roll the credits.

Hey, maybe something that I love you think is total dogshit (Big Anklevich tells me this at least once a month), but I pretty much had my evening ruined by watching PHANTASM again.  But Jeff helped out by saying, "Look on the bright side: you don't have to watch it again for another twenty-five years . . . and by then, you'll probably be dead."

Thanks for that.

*It didn't.  I believe the first use of "Booooooy" came at an hour and ten minutes in, and by then, Jeff's drink had gone flat, and was now room temperature--which, in Jeff's defense/condemnation, is approximately forty degrees Fahrenheit.

Podcast That Dares 52: The Man Who Collected Poe

I present Robert Bloch's 1951 short story, "The Man Who Collected Poe." Imagine the ultimate collection a fan could possess . . . what might it include?

Note: I mention the film "Torture Dungeon" a few times. The film was actually 1967's TORTURE GARDEN.  Sorry, boss.

Download the file directly by Right-Clicking HERE.

Support me on Patreon HERE!

Logo by Gino "The Moe Who Collected Pans" Moretto.

They're Here Already! You're Next!

Yes, just a throwaway post about the Monster Cereals returning to stores . . . or is it?

Over on the Journey Into... podcast, Marshal and I have reviewed INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, the 1978 remake, and one of my favorite horror films.*

It's a familiar story: people are acting strangely, seemingly changed from their usual personalities, and two coworkers at the Health Department, Matthew Bennell and Elisabeth Driscoll, try to get to the bottom of it.   Is it paranoia, mass hysteria, a vast conspiracy, or just the fraying of our increasingly-insular modern society?

This is the version set in San Francisco, and it's probably the best movie we've reviewed on this show--almost nothing in it doesn't work, and it's filled with familiar faces, such as Leonard Nimoy, Veronica Cartwright, Robert Duvall, and Jeff Goldblum.  There's even an appearance by Kevin McCarthy, repeating those famous words from the first version (that I got my title from).

Check it out HERE . . . but only if you've already seen it.  After all, you're next.

*In fact, it might be my favorite remake of all time.  People are always making lists of movies where the remake is better than the original, but with the exception of THE BLOB (1988)--which I haven't seen in thirty-five years--I always disagree.  Yeah, I know.  But INVASION '78 is the only one where I have to nod and say, "Yeah, an excellent, excellent flick, despite how much I love the original."

Podcast That Dares 51: The Mezzotint

Rish presents M.R. James's 1904 story "The Mezzotint."

A shame there's no figures in that painting--someone could do a series of videos talking about figures.

If you want to download this episode, Right-Click HERE. 

To support Rish on Patreon, click HERE. 

Logo by Gino "The Mezzobint" Moretto.  Sorry, I was under the impression "bint" was a more offensive word than it is.

Santa Knows If You've Been Bad

I was at my buddy Jeff's house, and his daughter was visiting, and she mentioned that she wanted to watch SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, which Jeff had picked up from the library.* He'd recently given her a copy of Grady Hendrix's "The Final Girl Support Group," which is a fun book about a group of women who each overcame a specific and familiar attack by a serial killer, and the main one survived a massacre by a crazy man dressed as Santa.

His daughter (with a father like Jeff) was familiar with SCREAM, FRIDAY THE 13TH, TEXAS CHAINSAW, HALLOWEEN, and NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, but had never seen 1984's SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT.  Well, I'd seen it twice (once as a kid, and once in my twenties for our Horror Film Compendium), and I told her not to bother, that the movie was bad, and explained how it got famous due to the Streisand Effect.  

But Jeff had already rented the movie, and was bummed that he was going to have to watch it alone.  When he said that, I told him I would go ahead and watch the movie with him, even though I remembered it being pretty awful.**

So, we watched it, and I was impressed by the opening scenes, which were both fun and effective.  As the movie went on, I admired the Utah locations, leered lasciviously at the vintage Star Wars toys, and took in the gratuitous nudity with homey sentimentality.

By the time we got to the end, I was surprised not only by how much I enjoyed the movie, but by how well made it was, compared to the schlock of today (my nephew was watching SHARKNADO 4 the other day, and a bunch of cows got sucked up by it, and one of the characters looked at the camera and shouted, "It's a COWnado!!!" proving for one and all that Friedrich Nietzsche was right about God being dead).  

Jeff also thought it was good, and looked up our reviews from twenty-five years ago . . . and we thought it was good then too.

Weird. 

Anyway, one thing I admired, then and now, was the ghastly Christmas song that is repeated multiple times in the movie, that goes "Santa's watching, Santa's creeping..."  It is cheery and fairly trite-sounding, but includes ominious lyrics like
Can you hear him in the night?
Close your door, turn out the light!

and it ends with the delightfully fatalistic

Did you do your best this year? 
Too late now, 'cause Santa's here."

Good times.

*Yes, it's that good of a library. Or bad, you decide.

**Here's the thing: bad horror movies made in the Eighties are better than bad horror movies made today, simply because of my nostalgia for that period, its music, its fashions, and the kinds of movies they were making then.  Heck, a bad horror movie from the Eighties might be better than a so-so movie from the 2010s.

Podcast That Dares 50: The Jaunt

Rish performs Stephen King's 1981 short story "The Jaunt." In this dark Sci-Fi tale, a father tells his nervous family how the Jaunt came to be before they take off to Mars.

Note: This episode has been a long time in coming, longer than you think.

You there, to download this episode, Right-Click HERE. 

To support me over on Patreon, click HERE.  You know you want to.  Nobody will ever know.

 Logo by Gino "The Aunt" Moretto.

Rish Outcast 283: All's Well That Ends Well

Inspired by Big Anklevich and Taylor Swift, Rish talks about some of his favorite unhappy endings.

Warning: Spoilers abound!

Timecodes (unreliable)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) - 20:02

Halloween: Season of the Witch - 25:20

Se7en - 28:45

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Normal Again) - 31:05

Pet Sematary - 35:15

The Mist - 37:25

Planet of the Apes (1968) - 38:16

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - 42:35

The Descent - 44:44

Also, various Stephen King stories (The Jaunt, Gramma, The Mist), Big Anklevich stories, The Outer Limits, maybe more. 

If you want to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you want to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

If you want to hear the whole Taylor Swift song, go HERE.

Logo by Gino "All's Swell" Moretto.

(I published this at 7:07 on 7/7)

There Are Dog People And Then There Are...

Not too long ago, Marshal and I got together (literally) to watch 1942's CAT PEOPLE.

It's a movie I had seen several years back, but was reminded of when I picked up a story by Val Lewton (who produced CAT PEOPLE) called "The Bagheeta," to record for my podcast.  Marshal was game to review the movie, and here it is.

Basically, a man meets and marries a mysterious foreign woman who is convinced that she is under a curse to turn into a deadly were-cat when she becomes emotional.  But it's all in her head, right?

Talking about this moving made me want to watch the other flicks Lewton made for RKO (such as 1943's THE LEOPARD MAN).  Check out our discussion HERE!

Rish Outcast 280: Ten Thousand Coffins 4

Rish finishes up his "Ten Thousand Coffins" reading. The Dawn Breaks is pretty big, but there's only room on the ship for either Brooklyn Lisst or the Ledouceur creature.

Afterward, Rish answers half a question from Abbie Hilton, and talks about where the story could go from here.

Note: The sound gets a bit rough before the end . . . but hey, you knew that going in.

Be a sport and download the episode by Right-Clicking HERE.

To support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Just Two Coffins, Jacob: One For You, One For Me" Moretto.

The eff is this, you ask?  Well, I told A.I. to show me a vampire aboard a starship,
and it misunderstood the assignment.  But still, watch your language.

Rish Outcast 278: Ten Thousand Coffins 3

Rish presents the third--and longest--chunk of his Sci-Fi/Horror novella "Ten Thousand Coffins."  So, there are now three awakened humans aboard the Dawn Breaks, and one vampire. Or is it two and two?

Afterward, a bit about the Skipper, and is it just me, or is Rish more defensive of this story than usual?

If you wish to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you wish to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

If you wish to hear the longest Taylor Swift song, you might as well go HERE.

Logo by Gino "No Clever Pun This Week" Moretto.

Rish Outcast 276: Ten Thousand Coffins II

Rish presents the second section of his novella "Ten Thousand Coffins."

Medtech Brook Lisst has seen the hand of the intruder on the ship . . . a vampire's hand. But vampires don't really exist, do they?

To download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

To support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Many Coffins Died To Bring Us This Information" Moretto.

Rish Outcast 274: Ten Thousand Coffins I

At long last, Rish presents the first section of his Sci-Fi/Horror piece "Ten Thousand Coffins."

Onboard her colony ship, Medtech Brook Lisst finds a sleeper pod that has become a coffin . . . but what will find her?

As always, you can download the file by Right-Clicking HERE.

And of course, you can support my Patreon by clicking HERE.  They've already got Part II!

Logo by Gino "Ten Thousand Kiwis" Moretto.

Went To The Ninth Sector, And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

This week, my buddy Big and I finally got together to talk about cover art--specifically, the bad art I've had on my stories that he's seen fit to improve for me--and we talked so much that we ran out of time and will have to do it again next week.  A lot of time, the images I picked were good, but my text looked unprofessional, or worse, like recently-microwaved walrus dung.*  Other times, it was just bad, top to bottom.

And while we were looking over old covers, I stumbled upon the image Sonny See created for us back in 2014 for my story "Greetings From The Ninth Sector."  That was a story I wrote for a contest where I had to use the words "Squad," "Reports," and "George Lucas" in there somehow.**  In it, Corporal Bruce Otterson, onboard the IFS Lucas, sends messages back to his girlfriend Mandy, as their ship enters the mysterious Ninth Sector, which many onboard think is haunted or cursed. As his transmissions continue, Bruce becomes more and more concerned that his shipmates may be right

Big added the star field and the text.  Not sure why he picked that shade of blue.

Big said he could make the logo on the image look better than what I had done myself (goes without saying), and to my surprise, I discovered I had NEVER put it out on Amazon.***  So, today I remedied that.  The story is available HERE, if you never read the longer version.  I plan on publishing other stories in the next couple of weeks, so I'll keep you posted.

I also thought I would sit down one evening this month and video myself performing the story, then make it available on my Patreon.  And if people like that, do it again.  And again.  What do you think?

*Looking forward to the episode yet?  I know I am, and I haven't even started editing it.

**I figured I could just go look up the words on the Dunesteef page . . . but the Dunesteef page is long gone.  :(

***That's not technically true; it was part of a collection that's no longer available.  I really ought to put together five or eight story collections in case somebody somewhere wants to buy them.  But I probably won't.

Rish and Marshal Pass Through THE GATE (1987)

A long while back, Marshal and I watched an Eighties horror flick with Stephen Dorff called THE GATE.   

It was a PG-13 horror flick about a gateway to the underworld in a suburban kid's yard from 1987.  Somehow, I never saw it.  Till now.  Check out the fun HERE, if you dare.

These creatures were really impressive, as little as they appeared in the film.  Note: Nice to see that Vin Diesel had steady work back in 1987.