Storage Unit Serenade 15 (Extended)

I warned you.  This one, I'm going to explain why I like the song before I sing it.

Try to contain your excitement, Brent.

Stats
Pre-Eighties Songs: 4
Eighties Songs: 4
Nineties Songs: 4
Aughts Songs: 0
Teens Songs: 3

May Sweeps - Day 106

Today was Saturday, and I don't feel like I accomplished much of anything (besides working until early afternoon, I mean . . . but I do that anyway).

I got it into my head to sit down and record myself performing a story and upload it to YouTube, so I went to the park and got out one from 2013 or so.  I was never happy with it, so I looked it over to see if I could somehow fix it.  Well, I couldn't (did add a few bits to it which certainly make it longer), but I thought maybe I'd get Big Anklevich on the phone and see if he wanted to record it with me and it could be a Dunesteef episode instead of just going up on YouTube.  Or both.

He said he was willing, but his son's in town this week, so they'll be hanging out for a while.  Maybe I could do another story on my own this week.  Hey, that's two performances for you, and only twice the work for me!

I told my nephews I'd watch a movie with them, and the twelve year old suggested TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT, which I flat-out refused to watch with him (bottom-of-the-barrel Michael Bay 'formers movie *plus* Mark Wahlberg?), so then they put on, of all movies, DADDY'S HOME 2.  I never saw the first one, but I was willing to sit and at least start watching it with them, based on the strength of the trailer (I really liked the bit with John Lithgow as Will Ferrell's dad and Mel Gibson as Mark Wahlberg's dad).

And you know what?  I watched the whole thing, and I really enjoyed it.

And yes, I cried.  You may say, "Rish, you cried watching DADDY'S HOME 2?  Perhaps you deserve to die alone after all."  To which I reply, "Well, maybe I'll die alone *because* I cried during DADDY'S HOME 2.  How do you like them apples?"

Sigh.

Sit-ups Today: 40
Sit-ups Total: 579

Words Today: 1009
Words In May: 16,283

P.S. I'm about to stop posting one of these each day.

Day 46. "Head Like A Hole" by Nine Inch Nails (basically anything by NIN).

May Sweeps - Day 105

Boy, am I a glutton for punishment.  I went on a second hike this week, just as punishing as the last.  And yeah, it makes me feel alive.  What a strange, unrecognizable person I have become.  I hate to write and I look forward to exercise.  What have you done with my child!?!?!?

I decided to go up the mountain directly overlooking town (where I went on this post), and I was reminded of last year, when I told my Uncle John I wanted to climb it, and he said, "Are you kidding?  You would die!"  Now, he is fat and I am . . . well, less fat, so that gives me a tiny bit of satisfaction.

The last time I went there, which was a long while back, I had a toughish time, but really enjoyed the run down the hill.  It was also when this COVID stuff was first becoming scary, and everybody I passed on the path I felt weird about, and didn't dare ask anybody to take my picture, which I would have done just a week or so before.  Now, there were a lot more people there, and I was less freaked out about social distancing, simply because I'd been through it for a couple of months (in the back of my mind, I think that nobody sick would be doing this hike, but then we hear about asymptomatic carriers, and I dunno if I should worry or not).  And not a soul had a mask on (but I would have frankly been upset, if someone had), which would absolutely be torture on a gaspy uphill hike like that.

Well, this climb seemed a heck of a lot harder than the last one did, but it could be that I'm punishing my body a little too much, and it's taking its toll.

I like the flash reflected off the tooth--like a Colgate commercial.

I must admit, there was a moment, on a long straight stretch of path, where my body said, "No, I am not going to do this.  Why do you hate me so much?"  But I simply muttered, "'Cause everyone else does," and forced myself to keep going.  There are signposts every  switchback that tell you how far you have gone, how much further it is to go, and give encouragements such as "You can do it!" and "Not much more to go!" and "Your wife is with another man right now!"

You know, words of inspiration, to get you goin'.

And then, coming down, I reached that long straight stretch, and these two hulking, no-necked, hunched-over bodybuilder-types were coming up the path.  I had to slow to go around them--heck, Ally McBeal at her thinnest would have to slow to go around them--and I saw one of them huffing and puffing, really struggling at that moment to make it up the hill.  Well, it made me smile.

Also making me smile was how, despite the very overcast afternoon, we got an awesome mostly-red sunset as the sun was dipping below the hills on the other side of the lake.

When my brother-in-law and my nephews did the hike with me last summer, I was delighted by how fast I got running on the way down, and how it practically felt like I was flying.  When I was there last, on March 8th, I was hesitant to run down as fast as I could because I knew I would break like a stale breadstick if I were to fall, and who needs that?

But I didn't fall last time, so this time, I did it all-out on one straight stretch, and wow, it was exhilarating, especially since, in the back of my mind, I knew I was being an irresponsible child right then, and not only was death right there with one misstep, but worse, pain and humiliation were a half-misstep away.  I think I might do this every week or so.

I've never belonged to a gym, or gotten regular exercise with friends, or been even somewhat pleased with who I am as a person* . . . but maybe, when this is all over, I'd consider it.

So, I did two hikes in a week.  And hey, the weekend's here already.  And guess who just bought hiking boots?

Sit-ups Today: 40
Sit-ups Total: 539

I sat down for a few minutes and tried to write a bit of a conversation between Meeshelle (the day clerk) and Mrs. Bice (the b&b's owner) about the history of the place, but I didn't get much done.  And I don't much care.  I'll be happy to put this daily blogging/daily writing two-fer in my rear view.

Words Today: 432
Words In May: 15,274

P.S. When can I stop posting these?

Day 45. Gotta be "Disarm" by Smashing Pumpkins. Great song, but I haaaate that band.

*Still ain't.

Rish Outcast 170: Who Can It Be Now?

In this show, I present my Pout of Competition story "Who Can It Be Now?" Originally intended for an anthology of monster stories set in the Rocky Mountains, perhaps you'll like it more than the judges did.



If you care to download the episode, just Right-Click HERE.

If you care to support me on Patreon, just Left-Click HERE.

If you care, the logo was by Gino "Knocking At My Door" Moretto.

Daily Sweeps - Day 104

I don't much want to blog today, or write for that matter.  But I probably will.

I checked, and my story, which I think is called "Only Have Eyes For You," is just a hair over 30,000 words now.  Dang.

I finished an Outcast episode today, so it's possible I can fit in three this month, if I squeeze them in every seven days.  I guess technically, I could've had five this month, if I'd posted on the 1st, 7th, 14th, 21st, and 28th . . . but I didn't.

You know what a masochist is, right?  I just noticed a new video by the tender loving couple on YouTube, and I really want to watch it.  But, like last week, I think I have to force myself to write first.

Ooooh, but I so enjoy complaining about them.  Couldn't I just start it?  Watch a few seconds?

Ay, Dios mio, there are five Thumbs Downs on the video.  Can't believe it.

Okay, so I wrote.  Just a little bit, but enough to merit the "reward" of watching the two lovebirds do their little rejected "Saturday Night Live" bit.

It started out with them sucking helium, and doing cutesy voices.  Shite, I should've put "cutesy" in quotes.  I watched a couple of minutes, then had to stop.  These videos are not intended for me (who the devil ARE they intended for, I wonder?), and I recognize that.  I should be writing anyway.

Instead of going back to the madness, I edited my next Rish Outcast podcast, where I talk about working on "The Norm Show" sit-com.  Out of curiosity, I looked on YouTube for that series, and yep, there it is.  Then I ate up an hour or more watching it (it was alright).

Sit-Ups Today: 30
Sit-Ups Total: 499 (halfway there, and the month is half over)

Words Today: 1004
Words In May: 14,842
Words Total: 136,071

P.S. Crap, why do I keep posting these?

Day 44. "Boys Don't Cry" by The Cure.  My first choice was "When Doves Cry" by Prince, but I thought everybody would put that.  And nobody did.

Fake Sean Sings "Wrecking Ball"

A couple of my listeners mentioned recently that this song is not available on the internet.  I don't know if that's true or not, but I uploaded it to YouTube in a foolish attempt to make them happy.

Listening through for the first time in five or so years, I found it kind of charming. Perhaps you will too.

May Sweeps - Day 103

I got to go to my cousin's for a few minutes last night.  It sounds like an exaggeration, but we got through the first fifteen minutes of "Picard," so that's a pretty limited amount of time.

I also went to the park briefly today, sat on the grass, and wrote for a few minutes.  I needn't have bothered, though, because my nephews bullied me into taking them to a different park right before the sun went down, so they could try to catch fish with nets.  I had my laptop and wrote a bit more on my big "Dead & Breakfast" tale while they caught minnows and this pretty little bluegill which I think was dying before I could get a photo of it.

I tried to make up for the lack of sit-ups yesterday by doing extras today, but I only managed seventy today.  Which isn't bad, but after I typed this, I went ahead and did thirty more, just to feel like I'd lived.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups Total: 469

Words Today: 1047
Words Total: 13,838

P.S. Why would I keep posting these daily?

Day 43. Gonna pick "One More Minute" by Weird Al Yankovic. I still love how the doo-wap guys sing "leeeeches."

Bring Your Daughter To Work Day - Death Star Edition!

This month, if I can get it done, we'll have two episodes of Delusions of Grandeur.  But the first is right here, where Marshal Latham and I talk about "Clone Wars," the ROGUE ONE audio commentary (plague edition!), McClunky, and I present my lil Star Wars sketch "Daughter Death Star Day."

In it, I imagine the hilarity of Bring Your Daughter To Work Day on Tarkin's space station.  Of course, your hilarity mileage may vary.

Check it out RIGHT HERE!

May Sweeps - Day 102

Whoops, I forgot to do sit-ups on this day.  I fully meant to, and I did do my run, but the sit-ups just slipped my mind.  Guess I've got to do extra tomorrow.

Amazingly, May is half over, and I feel I have little to show for it.  I did finish my Christmas story, and I have done sit-ups every day (save one, whoops again), but still.  One of my goals for the month was to put out either three or four episodes of my podcast (I only managed two in April), and so far, I've got nothing.  So I recorded a short show while driving last night, that I hope doesn't irritate my fan(s).  I could put up an episode today, and quickly get last night's edited in time for next week.  Then, Bossk willing, Audible will approve one of my audiobooks, and that episode can be the next one after that.  It's still only three for the month, but it's better than nothing.

I wrote a little bit in the afternoon, and then I wrote again late, late at night.  I checked after three, and had over a thousand words, but absolutely not energy to write in my blog.  So there.

Words Today: 1162
Words In May: 12,791

P.S. I guess I post one of these every day.

Day 42. Okay, as much as it shames me to admit it: "Party In The U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus.

May Sweeps - Day 101

I don't want to write today.  I don't want to blog today.  I don't even want to go running today.*

But I sure wanted to go hiking yesterday.  After the family get-together for Mother's Day was over, even though it was getting late, I jumped in the car and meant to hit the nearest mountain--the one I climbed back in March sometime.  But then I remembered the make-out point Big Anklevich had mentioned to me that same night, and that it had been blocked off for the winter when I went there in April, and I turned left, and headed there again.

I like this because it looks like Yavin IV behind me.

This time, the road was open, so I drove on in, but did not drive all the way up there.  I parked my car at the place I stopped hiking last time, so I could see how much farther I would have had to go to get to the top.  And it would've been a lot further to go.  For the next two hours, I hiked, and some friendly motorist actually pulled over and asked me--a stranger in a pandemic--if I wanted a ride to the top.  I told him I was trying to get exercise, so he went on his way, and I was glad I hadn't taken him up on it . . . because he turned out to be the Springdale Sodomist!!

No, no, just because it was less than a mile more up before I reached the top, and the parking lot there that overlooks the city where so many cherries have been popped that they had a Swing band concert up there in 2001 . . . with, ironically enough, the band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy being the one booked, and it was nice to know I made it on my own.

Then I went hiking from there.

See that little trail up the mountain?  Walk it with me.

Unfortunately, I was so tired when I got back to my car that I recorded my thoughts so I wouldn't have to type them when I got home.

Good thinking, kid.**

I tried to get myself and the city below in this one.  Only took five tries.

If you want to listen to a report, here it be:



Sit-ups Today: 40
Sit-ups Total: 369

Not a lot of words today either (I was writing a conversation between Natalie and Meeshelle, who aren't normally in scenes together.  Guess that makes me a misogynist.  Maybe I'll have them not talk about Mason at all in their interaction, just to try and be less so).  Tomorrow I'll do better.

Words Today: 355
Words Total: 11,629

P.S. Ugh.  Why do I post one of these each day?

Day 41. Probably "Material Girl" by Madonna.

*I took my nephew to the park and we ran around it twice and did the stairs twice, and I currently smell like an old gym sock, so I think Bossk with forgive me for saying I did my jog for the day.  Though I MIGHT still go out around midnight or so.  Remains to be seen.

**Unfortunately, I'm too tired again to post it here AND write my words, so I'll put in the audio tomorrow, and focus on getting just a few more words before I--shoot, I have to do sit-ups too.  Dang.  I'll go do that now.

February Sweeps - Day 100

Haven't written today yet.  But it is Mother's Day, so that sort of thing tends to take priority.

There was quite a get-together today in honor of my mom.  Two of her brothers came, with their wives, two children, and then all of my siblings (my brother, two sisters, my niece, my brother-in-law, and three nephews).  In the days leading up to this, my niece, who goes by Cathexis when we do our "Twilight Groan" podcast*, had asked several of my mom's friends and family members to record video greetings for her, then had spent the weekend editing them all together into a video, which we watched in the backyard. 

It was quite amazing, as we all gathered to watch it, and I was surprised by how many familiar (and unfamiliar) faces she'd gotten to send their best wishes and/or share memories of my mom.

I've heard of funerals for the living, and this really seemed like that sort of thing, with my mom's brothers, sisters, nieces, neighbors, nephews, former coworkers, children, and grandchildren all saying or singing something.  Cathexis had put my clip last, because it was the longest, and I have to admit I took off into the front yard when I saw my face show up (I had shared a story about my childhood, and then sang a Storage Unit Serenade for my mom, and while I'm totally comfortable with my voice--even if the singing isn't perfect--I just couldn't look at myself doing it [though I must admit, I didn't look as fat as usual in the video]). 

It was pretty fascinating to see the different video qualities (I think mine was literally the only one where I had turned the phone to get a horizontal image rather than vertical, so of course, it looked better than most, despite my shite camera), and the affectionate messages in both English and Spanish were pretty darn great.

Well done, Cathexis.

The day went on, and I talked to Big, and he hadn't gotten any words in at eleven o'clock his time.  Scary.  Of course, neither had I.  But it was Day 100, so I had to do it, whether I wanted to or not.  I wrote some words (plenty, I think), and I actually ended up falling asleep early, and woke up around two, realizing I hadn't done any sit-ups for the day. 

And saints be praised, I got up and did sit-ups before going back to bed.

Sit-ups Today: 30
Sit-ups Total: 329

I usually get a lot of sit-ups in when I watch "Better Call Saul" (I have this tradition of not fast-forwarding the commercials, but instead, doing sit-ups or push-ups through them, like my Uncle John used to do years and years ago when he'd spend the night at my childhood home and wake me up to watch "Saturday Night Live"), but that show is over for another year--I swear, they have shorter seasons than your average mayfly.  Maybe I'll find a new show to exercise through; I told Big I might watch the whole of "Community" once it hit Netflix Streaming, and that's now the case.

I look forward to my weekly hikes, and somehow, I did get a hike in today, but I was so tired afterward that I just recorded my thoughts into my phone, knowing I wouldn't want to spend an hour typing them.  We'll see if I can upload them tomorrow.

And that's i . . .  I don't know if I should share this bit or not, but I had typed it earlier, so why not?

The other day, my uncle posted a picture on Facebook that was truly revolting.  Imagine, if you will, the dirtiest picture you can think of, involving something coming out and somebody else about to eat it.  Now, transpose that disgusting thought to something political, involving the worst example of public office we've seen in my lifetime . . . and then throw religion into it.  You got it?

Well, I saw this image, and I almost couldn't believe it.  It was beyond reprehensible, and since there was no caption, I couldn't even speculate that it might be intended ironically.  So I typed a comment about being disappointed to see something like that, and started to scroll away.**

But a moment later, I regretted it.  My uncle is a good man, with a big heart, who does the best he can, and just like Trump says, "There are very fine people on both sides."  And it occurred to me that he might find my comment hurtful, of incendiary (although, dude . . .), so I went back up, and I deleted the comment.  I don't know if I was raised with the dictum "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all," but Thumper in BAMBI certainly was, and that dude's a hero to me.

So, I deleted my comment, and just put it out of my mind, just like Thumper's mother used to say whenever the Playboy bunny got brought up.

But today, the party for Mother's Day was winding down, and I overheard my uncle complaining to somebody about a message on his Facebook account.  My ears perked up: indeed, he was talking about somebody's comment on the picture he posted.  I sort of froze in place, the way a deer does in the headlights, right before you ruin your already-falling-apart Mazda 3 on I-70.  I thought, "Oh boy, did my comment show up after all?"  Because I don't know how Facebook works.  Sometimes, when I'm logged in, and somebody comments on my thread, it beeps and comes to the foreground, so I can see in real-time what a person just posted.  Maybe that happened with mine, despite me deleting it after twelve seconds.

But no, apparently, someone else had seen this utterly reprehensible photo (again, it's only offensive to me . . . and hopefully you too . . . and oh, I dunno, people with souls), and typed, "This makes me very sad."  And not only that, but someone else (a someone soon to be, as the Amish call it, meidung) had Liked the comment.  My uncle was going on and on about how ignorant that was, and how he thought he knew this person, but clearly, they needed to be un-Friended as soon as possible.

I was just a fly on the wall for this conversation, in which my uncle explained his interpretation of the picture he'd uploaded, and in his mind, yeah, I guess it's a little less repellent than how I saw it, but still, not something that is evident without a caption or a lengthy paragraph saying, "I know this picture is virulently offensive, but this is the spirit in which I'm sharing it . . ."

I nearly interrupted his conversation and mentioned that I too had been grossed out by the photo but thought better of saying so . . . and then I decided not to.  Better, I guess, not to open that can of worms.  Religion and politics are even more problematic than being a Star Wars fan.

Words Today: 1083
Words In May: 11,274

*I keep trying to get her to do a remote episode with me, but she has no recorder and seems unwilling to use her Voice app on her phone, so I may have to ask my Patreon supporters if they wouldn't mind paying for the last two episodes, so I can buy her a Zoom recorder.

**Imagine if I posted on my Facebook page, a photo of a dead child, covered with flies, and the caption, "What, no love for the Star Wars Prequels?"  And you, being a thoroughly decent human being, saw the photo, shook your head, and commented, "Maybe not the best photo to share?"  That's the understatement my own comment was.