Rish Outcast 300: Episode 300 Show

A hodgepodge of items come together to celebrate the Rish Outcast's 300th episode: 

Fake Sean gets spun round, Rish narrates E. Nesbit's "Uncle Abraham's Romance," a scary Disney promo, a tale of eBay Horror, Rish talks about his security job, and Sam Apple's "The Saddest Toilet In The World."

If you'd like to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

Come support me on Patreon HERE.

Logo by Gino "Episode Zero" Moretto.

Rish Outcast 259: It Knows What Scares You

 

Rish expresses his irrational fear of yellowjackets and relates a recent encounter with one.  Also, he relates a Tale of eBay Horror from last year, pretty much unrelated.  But what things are you afraid of, and why?  

Note: I went through several title iterations for this one, before using the direct POLTERGEIST quote.  Only after I'd edited and published did I find a website where you could download a .WAV of the movie line.  Sigh.

To download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

To drive away the insects, support me on Patreon HERE.

Logo by Gino "It Knows What Chers You" Moretto.

Rish Outcast 253: Five Topics in Search of an Episode

In the most rambly episode ever, I present various topics, recorded separately, such as a Tale of eBay Horror rerun*, contemplating paying someone to edit my audiobooks, talking about a book called "Curse of the Reaper," the results of a writing contest, Grimace, the second Spider-verse movie, a presentation of "Mystery of the Semi-Detached" by E. Nesbit, self-doubt in my own abilities, and hey, why not more Grimace talk?

To download the episode, just Right-Click HERE.

To support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Jive Topics" Moretto.

*Originally, this was "Four Topics In Search..." but when I realized the eBay Horror was a repeat, I added the Nesbit story to make up for it.  Look, Damien, it's all for you!

Blog 6/2

The new month has begun, and I need to get back to the regular grind.  Since I didn't go to the cabin today, I spent my free time audio editing, and recording my Patreon address, but darned if the time didn't slip away as fast as it could (I didn't even fall asleep this time).

One of my goals for the month of June is to come up with a good idea for a short story.  That is something that happens on its own, but not with predictable regularity.  My brother is going to the cabin to chop down trees on Saturday, so I think I'll go with him and try to be inspired by something that I see or hear.  You never know.

I got out a story I wrote in February and did a second pass on it, calling it "Olivia Rewinds," which I'm pretty sure is not a good title, but my first idea, "Olivia Unwinds." didn't make narrative sense.  I'll keep thinking.

The other day, I got a "helpful" question from an eBay user asking me why I had a piece from a Build-A-Figure for such a high price.  Seriously, that piece goes for what the other five pieces go for put together.*  The user asked me how I could live with myself listing it for that high (he didn't technically call me the S-word, but oh, it was there, between the lines), and warned me that I'd never sell it for that price.  He'd give me fifteen, the helpful, generous stranger.

Well, today, it sold for fifty.  Just saying.

Alright, I finished a second pass of my story from February, and tried to come up with a good title for it.  I was leaning toward "Olivia's Rewinds," or "Olivia Backs Up," but once I'd closed the file and started for home, I thought I'd call it "Olivia Redux."  Not sure I understand that term correctly, but I like the sound of it.  If I wake up really ambitious one of these days, I'll record it and do an episode of the podcast for it.  Gotta warn you, though, the title's the best thing about it.

Writing or Exercise: Writing

*There is often one such BAF piece, which eludes collectors (such as the hands of The Blob, the head of Apocalypse, the Right Arm of The Rhino, the left leg of Abomination, or the backbone of Rish Outfield) because it came with a figure nobody wanted, or more rarely, the only figure anybody wanted.  I remember people selling the complete Sentinel Build-A-Figure a decade back for a hundred dollars, or just the head and chest piece for ninety dollars (I think I sold my last one for exactly that price).

January Sweeps - Day 704

Alright, let's get some effin' writing done.

Of course, I became instantly fixated on the fate of the California Grizzly Bear (the animal on their state flag), which went extinct in 1922.  I read about it (and the possibility of de-extinctifying it through science) instead of writing for about ten minutes.  I have a disease, I admit that.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In January: 500

I used to record videos about bad eBay experiences I've had.  Now, this one wouldn't really qualify for a YouTube video, but I sent a guy an action figure around Christmas time, and I guess I confused the envelopes, because the guy who bought an expensive figure got a cheap one instead.*  Well, the dude in question sent me an email, claiming I was a scam artist who did it on purpose (so I went radio silent for a day while I tried to contact the other buyer and see if he would switch back, and thought about whether it would be worth it to throw good money after bad and pay thirteen bucks to get the incorrect figure back) and issued a Not As Described dispute.  

So, I went ahead and approved a Return . . . but the buyer is in Canada (which is a whole other country), so I was unable to purchase a return shipping label from there to here.

I ended up giving the guy a full refund (including the shipping to Canada), plus he kept the incorrect figure.  Happy Saskatoonian New Year's.

Push-ups Today: 111
Push-ups In January: 481

A couple of minutes ago, a guy started ranting up here on the quiet floor.  "Why the fuck would you put me on fucking speaker if you didn't want to fucking talk to me in fucking public do you fucking think?"  I'm pretty sure that's word-for-word, but maybe I made it a bit more normal-sounding there.  I'm assuming he was on the phone, but it made me nervous to hear it, you know what I mean?  It made me decide to put a crazy person in the scene I was writing, though I had my guy quote non-existent song lyrics instead of the poetry the real-life guy was spouting.

Words Today: 614
Words In January: 2477

*And the guy who bought a cheap figure got an expensive one, and big shock--he wasn't about to complain about it!

April Sweeps - Day 443

This is the first time I've been to the library in a while.  I told you about Saturday, and how I came so-very-close to not writing at all that day, breaking this cycle once and for all.  All it would take would be one day, and I think I'd tear up my goal sheet (it's in my laptop bag at all times) and proclaim a writing-free life from now on.  I don't know if I would actually give up writing, but Saturday night, I'd have gladly paid YOU to do my writing for me.*

If I had failed, and my obligation to write was no longer upon me, would I be here today, writing this blog?  No, I don't think I would.  Except I'd still feel obligated to do my exercise, and it would be hard not to write down my number of sit-ups and push-ups anymore.  Well, we'll find out soon, surely.

So, I got a great deal of work done today, but when the mailman came, it was a substitute, and the way I know is that he scanned all my mailed packages as "Delivered" instead of "Received."  I don't know that it's the same substitute that keeps doing this, but it happens so often that I have a saved reply I can paste into emails when people ask why I shipped their package to the wrong address.

Today, I got no less than five of those emails (and the day ain't over yet).  One of them was particularly nasty about it, accusing me of shipping something they paid for last night to the wrong address and demanding their money back.  Every other upset buyer I said the same thing to, but this asshole issued a dispute with eBay over it, and if the package doesn't arrive by Thursday, they'll get their money back without my being able to stop them.**

Sit-ups Today: 200
Sit-ups In April: 1933

I only got eight hundred words in at the library.  I could've done better, but I finished a short scene (just the main character, Layla, talking to a classmate), and I just didn't want to write more after that.  I guess that's what separates me from the real writers out there.

Push-ups Today: 70
Push-ups In April: 2036

Are you familiar with a Marvel Comics character known as "Werewolf By Night?"  

He's a werewolf character who occasionally shows up in superhero books and tussles with everybody from Spider-woman to Doctor Strange (and the C-list Marvel character, soon to become a B-list character, Moon Knight, first appeared in his book).  The reason I bring him up is because Werewolf By Night's alter-ego is Jack Russell.

That is all.***

Words Today: 805
Words In April: 12,991

*Indeed, if you had said, "You can either write or do two hundred push-ups," I'd have arms so sore today, I couldn't put on socks.

**I really ought to do a "Tales of eBay Horror" about this one.  After the third irate email from the outraged buyer, I put them on my Blocked list, so they could never buy from me again (it's really the only recourse I have available, since eBay already put the funds on hold because of the dispute), and then, when she tried to send a fourth email, it told her she was barred from communicating with me from now on.  I hadn't realized that blocking somebody also prevents them from sending messages . . . except that I still got the "Why would you block me from communicating with you if you were not a scammer?" email, so she's clearly able to send messages back and forth.  Sigh.

***There were two more emails I got by the end of the night from people telling me I'd mailed their package to the wrong state.  One even said, "You fucked up, so Ima want a refund."  He used Ima.

Tales of eBay Horror 13: I Want A Refund

"It's another lost episode, Shorty!" 

This is a Season Two episode I shot in early 2019, but lost the audio to (the actual audio the camera picked up was mostly the sound of wind). But I found the audio in January, and well, here it is.

 

April Sweeps - Day 70

Somebody emailed me yesterday to ask if my email address belonged with my (full) name.  I immediately knew it was going to be trouble, so I waited a day before answering.  When I did, they told me they were one of my eBay customers, and that I'd mailed them an empty package.  They included photos of said empty package.  Sigh.

This isn't the first time this has happened, and really, I have no recourse whatsoever.  There's no way to prove that I actually mailed something in the package (except for the posted weight, I suppose, but even that could be a lie or a mistake), just as there's no way the customer can prove my shipment arrived that way and that they didn't take the contents and then fabricate the story . . . except that eBay always sides with the buyer.  I guess this is just one of those dreaded "price of doing business" things.  Still, it makes me a bit sad, and I guess I can just be grateful that it wasn't something really valuable (that, of course, has also happened).

I think it's the fact that this was a low-cost item that makes me believe they aren't trying to rip me off . . . but having said that, there's no way not to resent some asshat saying, "You sent me an empty package."*

No, I didn't.  Come on.  You're saying I paid to ship this guy an empty package, so he'll, what, get his money back a week later than he would have?  Actually, that's a pretty good scam--much more profitable than the way I did it, since I wouldn't have lost the items that I mailed him.  Sigh.

In other news, I went to the park today and forced myself to finish my pizza place story.  It's probably awful (which means I'll probably never put it out there), but I worked it through to the end.  I only got a modicum of satisfaction for this one, despite having wanted to write the story for a decade.

The weird thing about this March Madness is that I'm just going to have to do it again tomorrow.  I guess I'm reminded of the "Crepes of Wrath" episode of The Simpsons (which I think about more than any other human being, I'm sure), when the vineyard guy shows Bart how easy it is to pick a grape and put it in a bucket, then says, "Now do it a million times!"

But it sounds like I'm bitching, doesn't it?  Whatever you do for a job, chances are it's super repetitive and probably monotonous, and saying this, I remember this job I had doing data entry back in Los Angeles.  It was the same stuff, entering orders that the salespeople had written down on paper into the computer, and how there would come more and more until the last of the salesmen (who had the West Coast and Hawaii accounts) would go home.  We processed them until they were done, then we could also take off.

But there was something I enjoyed about it, seeing the stack get smaller and smaller, and I and my team lead processed the most orders every single day, until it turned out everybody but him and me were laid off when it was decided that salespeople could enter in their own orders and save the company money.  I miss that job, of course, as you always do when it's gone.

And I'll miss this daily writing thing when it's gone too, just like I'll miss finding something to blog about each day.

And I suspect I'm the only one.

Words Today: 2308
Words in April: 11,646

P.S. Each day I'm posting one of these.

Day 10. "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman.  I've talked about this before, and how I just didn't get the song when I was a kid.  But one day, as an adult,  it came on the radio, and it struck me like a slap just how innately hopeless the song was, how the protagonist dreams of a better life, but is trapped in a endless circle.  The bit where she says,
"I remember when we were driving,
Driving in your car;
Speedin' so fast felt like I was drunk;
City lights laid out before me
And your arms felt nice wrapped round my shoulder,
And I had a feeling that I belonged
I had a feeling I could be someone."
That moves me to this day.  She's also got a song called "Baby, Can I Hold You Tonight?" which also breaks my heart, but in a less hopeless for the singer and more for Rish the listener, sort of way.

*These things happen from time to time.  I understand that.  You understand that.  If the buyer had just said, "The package was torn open and the contents were not in there.  Guess they were lost in shipping," I wouldn't be typing any of this.  It's only the way he worded it that made me want to block him from ever bidding on any of my stuff again (the literal only recourse we have as sellers on The 'bay, as I've told you before).  However, just as this shite happens when I mail stuff, I've also had packages come back to me because the buyer gave the wrong address, or moved away, or went to jail for kicking a men's room attendant to death at a bus depot . . . and they never issue a dispute about it.

Tales of eBay Horror 10: We Didn't Hear From You...

This was the last episode of Season One of "Tales of eBay Horror.'

This terrifying true story is called "We Didn't Hear From You..." and it includes a special guest.

Tales of eBay Horror 9: Feedback Frenzy

Here's yet another episode of "Tales of eBay Horror."

It's another spooky true story about selling on eBay, this one calling itself "Feedback Frenzy." Beware the buyer scorned!

Rish Outcast 147: New Year's Day (Part III)

So, here's the ending, such that it is, of the "New Year's Day" novella.  Then some talk about it.

Oh, and the frogs have their say as well.



Just Right-Click HERE to download the episode.

Logo by Gino "Break Glass In Case of Fire" Moretto.

Music by Kevin McLeod of Incompetech.com.

Here's a link to the full story on Amazon, if you want to leave a review or something.

And hey, you can support me on Patreon HERE!

Tales of eBay Horror 8: The Not-Quite-Canceled Transaction

Here I am again, with another terrifyingly true tale of selling on eBay.  This one involves a canceled transaction . . . or was it?

Bid with confidence!

Tales of eBay Horror 7: You Are A Liar!

This is the oft-delayed seventh episode of my eBay video series, wherein I complain about selling on eBay.  It has been said, though, that I only focus on the negative* . . . so in an effort to remedy that, I will share a(nother) POSITIVE experience with the online selling site.

After that, however, I go on my longest rant yet in an episode entitled "You Are A Liar!"

Special thanks to Gino "Seldom A Liar" Moretto for the series logo.





*Of course you'll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.s!

Tales of eBay Horror 6: Mint on Card

Happy belated Halloween, kiddies! This is another terrifying true tale of eBay Horror, a particularly putrefying piece I call . . . "Mint On Card."

This episode I had to do over, due to the video being lost. Hopefully, you feel it's worth it.

Tales of eBay Horror 5: Not-What-I-Ordered

Hey, kids.  Here I am again with another true eBay horror story. This time, I tell a tale of something that happened to me as a buyer, rather than a seller. It's the fecund fairytale I call, "The Tale of the Not-What-I-Ordered."

Tales of eBay Horror 4: Fury Over Feedback

Here's another true, and truly-horrible experience I had, entitled, "The Fury Over Feedback."  If you like these, there are more to come.  

If you don't, well, I recently lost two due to a computer crash.  Silver lining?

Tales of eBay Horror 3: One Who Worked The System

This, "The One Who Worked The System," is the true story of a bad eBay experience that I have told the most times over the years, because it's the one that makes me the angriest.  Hope it makes you angry too.



There may be a delay in the next episode or two due to computer problems, but by all means, keep on shuddering at the prospect of more.

Tales of eBay Horror 2: Purloined Photographs

Here's the second episode, "The Tale of the Purloined Photographs." A true story, and just as scary as THE BLAIR WITCH PROJEKT (yes, with a K).

This was actually the first episode recorded, but there's not really any order to these things.* This is definitely the shortest of the shows, though.



*Except I mention in Episode 4 another story I haven't bothered to sit down and tell, and I just can't decide whether it's worth it or not.

Tales of eBay Horror 1

Here is Episode 1 of my new (probably-disastrous) video series, "The Tale of the Outraged Iron Man Buyer!"* 

Sorry about the camerawork, but I own no drones.

Happy Halloween!



*I could've sworn I called this "The Irate Iron Man Buyer," since that has such alluring alliteration, but whoops, better luck next life.