Rish Outcast 145: New Year's Day (Part I)

Here's the first healthy chunk of my 2004 novella "New Year's Day." Dave, Britt, and Rob know all about the famous Laemmle House, but do they dare to venture inside?

In this section, we get all the way up to the edge of The Big Reveal, and then I end it, to start talking about this job I had in the Nineties.

But hey, this ain't your first rodeo. You knew what I was when you picked me up.



Download the episode by Right-Clicking HERE.

Here's a link to the full story on Amazon, if you want it.

Keep her satisfied! Add length or girth by going RIGHT HERE.

Logo by Gino "Do Not Enter" Moretto.

R.I.P. Rutger Hauer

In early 1986, my Uncles Ali and Len took me to see a forgettable Kevin Bacon movie called QUICKSILVER.  When it was over, however, they suggested we sneak into a second movie, and that movie was THE HITCHER.

Most folks remember Rutger Hauer from BLADE RUNNER, and that's fine (easily his most iconic performance), but THE HITCHER made me a fan of the man.  It was a dark, scary, and fun movie that happened to be the first R-rated film I saw in the theater, and afterward, my Uncle Ali kept telling me that John Ryder was coming for me, and we made fun (via puns) of the rather horrible death of Jennifer Jason Leigh's character.  A seminal experience for me.

The man passed away this week, at the age of seventy-five, due to an (really?) unspecified illness. 

I really loved Rutger Hauer.  I was excited to see him in anything he showed up in, from BATMAN BEGINS to LADYHAWKE, from one of the DRACULA 2000s to BLIND FURY ("I also do circumcisions"), from an ALIEN rip-off called SPLIT SECOND to a recent movie actually titled HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN.  When Sam Raimi started making Spider-man movies, I hoped that eventually they'd get to Kraven the Hunter, and that Rutger Hauer would be their go-to guy. 

But for me, it will always be John Ryder, my favorite Eighties film Slasher.

I Narrate "Soul Cleaver Clarence" on Cast of Wonders

Some time ago, Katherine Inskip over at Cast of Wonders (The YA Fantasy Podcast) contacted me about doing another story for them.  Apparently, author Matthew Jarvis had tasked me* with narrating his piece. 

It was a tale called "Soul Cleaver Clarence," about a young dragon unhappy with the role in life he's been cast in, who meets a young human woman who's unhappy with the role she's been given.  It was enjoyable and I got to do some fun voices in it.  However, this is a full-cast production, so the voice talents of Alexis Goble, M.K. Hobson, Jen R. Albert, Cheyenne Wright, and Anne B. Davis as Alice will round out (i.e. save) my performance.**  I know a little something about putting together full-cast productions, so the episode must be pretty special to go to all that extra trouble.

Mayhaps you will enjoy it as well. 

You can check it out AT THIS LINK.

*He tasks me.  He tasks me, and I shall have him!

**But maybe, for science's sake, I should release my solo performance, just in case people are morbidly curious.  You never know.

Rish Outcast 144: Toy Show Show

In this one I tell you about taking my eleven year old nephew to a toy show in Las Vegas, who goes to such shows, selling on eBay, what NOT to say to a customer, an unfortunate auction, and almost taking him to see a total eclipse (of the heart).

Even if every now and then you fall apart . . . enjoy!



To download the episode, just Right-Click HERE.

To support me on Patreon, just Left-Click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Bright Eyes" Moretto.

Eclipse photo by Rish "Turn Around" Outfield.

Rish Outcast 143: Eight O'Clock In The Morning (By Ray Nelson)

It's a tale with a very familiar premise, but how about the opposite one?


You can Right-Click HERE to download the episode directly . . .

. . . aww, it's not for you.  It's more of a Shelbyville idea.

Logo by Gino "They Live" Moretto.

Today Is A Special Day

Every year, in the quaint (a polite term for "one-horse") town of Vernon, Idaho, at a small, out-of-the-way bed and breakfast, something remarkable happens.  On the second of July, and every second of July since Idaho was part of Mexico Territory, the barrier between our world and the world to come has parted.  Ghosts walk, talk, and occasionally physically interact with the living.  Sometimes these meetings are heartwarming, sometimes they're terrifying, sometimes they're amusing, sometimes they're heart-breaking, and sometimes they're arousing.

 If you happen to be driving up Route 78 in between Bruneau and Murphy, make an effort to stop by the Noble Oak Bed and Breakfast, and if there's a room, book one, and try to stay awake that night.  After a while, there will be a knock on the door.  And whoever is standing on the other side of it will be someone special . . . someone important to you personally . . . someone dead.

 What you do then, well, that's up to you.

 Oh, and the second of July also happens to be the birthday of my childhood best friend.  Coincidence?

 Well, no.

 R.B.O.

Rish Outcast 142: The Real Monster Here

Stuck driving to the airport, I ponder the recent funeral for my cousin, my own moral barometer, and a line from Sam Raimi's DARKMAN that has always bothered me.  

Oh, and spoilers for "The Servants of Twilight," TRANSCENDENCE, and life itself.

Note: This one *might* be a T.M.I. episode, you can decide.



Just Right-Click HERE to download the episode directly.

Just Left-Click HERE to support me on Patreon.

Logo by Gino "The Unreal Monster" Moretto.

Fatherhood of the Wolf

Today's Father's Day, and I'm reminded of a couple of days ago when I was at the thrift store, and I walked past a couch with a bust or sculpture on it.

I stopped, and looked again.  From where I stood, it was a brown sculpture of . . . the Lon Chaney Jr. Wolf Man.  Cool, huh?

So, of course I went back to examine it.  The 1941 Wolf Man has always been my favorite Universal Monster, and it tickled me to discover there was a bust made of it, even if it was clear that it was just a fan that had sculpted it, rather than a professional.

But then I looked again.  It said, underneath the head "You're Number 1 Dad."

What the . . . ?

I looked again, and now it was clear that it was no movie werewolf, but this was a sculpture of an ordinary man with a bushy moustache.

I was disappointed, to say the least.

But isn't it possible that, over the years, Larry Talbot married and settled down and became some kid's number one dad?

I'd like to think so.

Rish Outcast 141: What Happens In Vegas . . .

What DOES happen in Vegas, kids?

To find out, I guess you gotta support me on Patreon.  You see, this is one of those Incentive Episodes, wherein Big Anklevich joins me for a tale of woe and of wonder in the nation's capital, Las Vegas, Nevada.  Check it out HERE!

Note: It has been brought to my attention that the nation's capital is NOT Las Vegas, Nevada.  Sorry about that.  Maybe it's Reno.

Rish & Marshal Talk About DRACULA UNTOLD

Once upon a time, Marshal Latham and I had a movie podcast called "Outfield Excursions," wherein we talked about a movie he picked one show, and a movie I picked the next.  At least that's how it works in theory.

Well, I sort of forced the guy to sit down and watch DRACULA UNTOLD because I had gotten it from the library and enjoying the way it began, I paused the movie and called Marshal up to tell him about it.  If you want to hear our discussion about the movie, and whether I regret that phone call, you can check it out RIGHT HERE at the Journey Into... website.

I Perform "Whatever Comes After Calcutta" On Pseudopod

It's been a long time (. . . gettin' from there to here), but I was recently asked to do another story for Pseudopod, the Horror podcast.  I may bellyache about it a lot, but I really do enjoy narrating and voice acting, and doing one of the Escape Artists shows is a much higher-profile gig than any of my own podcasts.  And hey, they pay their narrators now, so I can do these things for something other than the honor of it.

This week's story is "Whatever Comes After Calcutta" by David Eric Nelson.  And it is surprisingly long.*  About seventy minutes, in its final form, and these things don't edit themselves.  It's about a lawyer who goes home and finds his wife in bed with another man, gets shot, goes after the couple, and stumbles upon what looks like a public lynching in a small Ohio town.**  The townsfolk seem to have found themselves a witch.

The story is really dark, but there's something so delightfully absurd about it that . . . well, I was delighted.  I'd have probably pestered Big about running it on our own podcast if it had come our way.

One of my favorite Stephen King stories is "Nona" (from Skeleton Crew), and this story includes a remarkably similar moment to that one.  It reminds me of the time when, before I was a podcaster, I recorded a handful of King and Joe Hill short stories for posterity (none of which I still have), and "Nona" was one of them.  If there's not an official version out there, I might do that one again.

Anyway, I sat down and recorded it, and discovered it was considerably longer than the stories I usually do for Pseudopod.  Heck, it'd be long even for the Dunesteef.

But it's available now, over at THIS LINK, and if you like my work, it's what they call in show circles as a tour de force of Rish Benjamin Outfield's storytellin' abilities.  If you don't like my part-and-parcel way of narrating, though, I warn you . . . get out!  Get out now!  The 'casts are coming from inside the house!

RBO

*As of this writing, I've been working on it for ninety minutes, and it's only about halfway edited.

**Although, I looked it up, and Calcutta, Ohio is four times bigger than the town I grew up in, so it's all relative.