Rish Outcast 70: I Went Out Riding

Back in January, I shared an episode recorded while I went for a walk.  Here's one I tried--rather foolishly, I might add--to record while riding a bicycle.  The only thing stupider would be to record one while hiking through foot-deep snow.*

In case you're wondering, the recorder did survive its fall, and I'm too cheap to buy another one.



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*And that one's forthcoming.

The End (good and bad)

So, two kinds of "the ends" this week.  The first, and the important one, I guess, is that I finished my story "Ten Thousand Coffins."  It ended up (first draft anyway) about fifteen thousand words, which is either too long to match the title, or too short for a novel.  Actually, the title ended up being a little less relevant, since the story went in a slightly different direction than I intended it to (still the same story, except I zagged when I figured I would zig).

I didn't work from an outline on this one, just a one page premise I wrote up in February.  It's much closer to "pantsing" than I typically write.*  And normally, that would be the death of my story.  I would write it for a little while, and eventually get to a part where I didn't know where it was going, and I would stop or lose interest.  To thine own self be true, and I never don't have that happen.

Except this time, because I was writing every single day, and even though I got to a couple of crossroads and dead ends, I never had the time to lose interest in it, since I was back to work the next day and the next.  Pretty cool.

But speaking of that, the day after I finished "10KC," I started a new story, and the day after that, I didn't write.  I went to my childhood home, we were hauling truckloads of garbage to the dump, we went out to eat for my sister's birthday, I worked for a couple of hours on an audiobook . . . and then I fell asleep.

After nearly sixty days in a row of habitual writing . . . I fell off the wagon.

It's over, Johnny!

And the next day, let me tell you, I felt like a bobbing turd.  It's weird that I would react so harshly, after something that should have been no big deal (I was up until four or five working on that audiobook too, so I technically had a fine excuse), but I did.  It was the second "the end."  My watch had ended.

And another remarkable thing about that (this was yesterday, I'm talking about): a lovely inner voice said, "Well, you failed.  No point in trying again."  I actually considered giving up and just focusing on other things, now that I no longer had to (yeah, HAD TO) write every day.  After all, I had set the goal of publishing five things in the month of March, and what did I manage, a paltry two?

So, I went ahead and published another short story, bringing me to three, and the day ended with me having not written, and resigned to watch television until I fell asleep (a luxury most folks don't even have to think about, I would posit).

But I thought about that story I had started just two days before, and thought, "Well, I could look at that, just to really rub it in about yesterday."  And I got out the notebook.  The work I had done on it was pathetic, really, just some half- or quarter-assed silliness, and only a few paragraphs of it.

"But silliness is kind of fun, isn't it?" I thought, and started typing.

I typed it through to the end, forcing myself to do it as penance for the day before, and wow, in two days had finished another story.  Then I watched TV until I fell asleep.

That was yesterday.  I don't know what will happen today (except that I'll get together with Big and he will make me write, the harsh taskmaster he has become), so I could start something new, pick up something old and abandoned, maybe come up with something for an upcoming contest.

It was "The End," but maybe not the end.

Rish Outfield, Ghost Writer In The Sky

*"Pantsing" being writer-talk for the people who do not plan out their work, but instead write by the seat of their, well, you know.

"Sea Monkey Do" in Video Form

Back in 2014, I did a couple audio sketches involving my nephew.  Today I was thinking of doing a new one, so I figured I'd make the first two available on YouTube.  Look, I'm never going to do real videos, I'm not in my twenties anymore.*  But this'll have to do.

This is "Sea Monkey Do," and everything in it is just as true now as it was when I recorded it.



Again, I would like to make more of these, since they're just going to get easier to put together, but I need to have an idea.  Maybe the four or five short film scripts I wrote for me and Big Anklevich to do when I was first moving from California, though probably not.

*I once made a video in my parents' basement of three hitmen on a party line together.  I set up three sections of the room with different telephones, and tried to change my appearance for the three characters (I remember slicking my hair back for one, wearing a suit and sunglasses for another, and the shaving off what little facial hair I had after recording all of the first guy's lines), then on my VCR, edited them together like they were having a conversation.  It took an unbelievable amount of time, and the finished product was one rung below mediocre, but that was the ambition I had in those days.

My Story "Trick" in Weirdbook #34

A couple of days ago, Big did his first-ever (far as I'm aware) video podcast.  He filmed himself, edited in all sorts of footage, and even used his kid's drone to get a shot or two.  I was impressed, but not motivated to ever do it myself.  I consider myself if not a master then at least a bator of audio production, so I'll stick with that.

But when I saw a package from Wildside Press, whom I had sold a story to, I did having my nephew six year old nephew film me opening it.  I thought his little video might make an interesting blog post, especially since millions of people apparently watch videos of folks opening packages and boxes (for some reason).  But saner head prevailed, and I simply had the boy take a still photo or two.

The magazine is Weirdbook, issue 34, which is a continuation of their classic Weird Tales mag, in digest form.  It's big and looks good, published by John Betancourt, who owns the rights to those Dumarest of Terra books I used to drag my feet on narrating.

I checked out their website, and noticed their next theme for submissions is Witches.  They have to be original, unpublished stories, otherwise I think I might have a tale or two I could send them.

Or, I could just write something new.

It was nice to hear I had sold something a couple of months ago when they contacted me.  A couple folks on Facebook were really congratulatory, inferring that it was a bigger deal than I thought it was.

Of course, the fact that I actually submitted something somewhere is the real trick.

And speaking of tricks . . .

"Trick" is that story I wrote on Halloween night a couple of years ago, talking about taking my daughter out trick or treating that I posted as my status on Facebook.  It's only notable for the fact that people responded to my Facebook post not with surprise that I had encountered a ghost, but that they hadn't realized I had a daughter.

Other than that, not really notable.

Except for the publishing, I guess.  That's pretty notable.

The magazine is pretty cool.  I intended to read through it all, making notes of any stories I really responded to, and maybe scooping them up for the Dunesteef.  There are no author names I recognize, but there are fun titles such as "A Demon in the Doughnut Shop," "Blood of God," "A Kiss for the Mirrorman," and of course, "Bunnies of the Apocalypse."  You know which one I'll be reading first.*

If you wanna buy yourself a copy and read along with me at home, check it out at this link over at Amazon.

Rish Outfield, Bookweird

*That'd be the bunny one, kids.

Rish Outcast 69: Bland Ambition

On his last long drive, Rish remembers being told that he had no ambition.  Fake Sean also shares the first requested song from a Patreon supporter.

Yeah, "Bland Ambition" was the best title I could come up with.  Sue me.



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I Perform "Caveat Emptor, Caveat Venditor" on Far Fetched Fables

Friends, Far-Fetched Fables is a fabulous farm of fascinating fact, fiction, and folly, follow?

FFF is a podcast that puts out short stories, mostly Fantasy, every every single week.  I don't know how they do it, but hey, I can do a story for them when they ask.

This time, they asked me to narrate "Caveat Emptor, Caveat Venditor" by Edward Ahern.

It's about a wizard named Harald, who--

That's right, Harald.  Oh kids, I had a bugger of a time recording this one, with almost constant repetitions of "said Harold sadly, as he--  I mean said Harald sadly..."  And even then, about one of every five Harolds I forgot to correct, and I had to decide whether it sounded enough like Harald to get by, or whether I had to rerecord the line.

Anyway, Harald is a failed warlock who teams up with a failed demon, in an attempt to change his stars.

Oh, just go listen to the fudging thing.  It's free.

Here be the link!

"The Little Talk" in Video Form

Here's another video for you of an old sketch.

The first, "Sea Monkey Do," took me quite a while to put together (for reasons I can't quite vocalize), but when I did a second and third one the same week, those went much faster, once I got the hang of it.  If I could somehow have an incentive to do these all the time, I think they could become a regular feature.



This one, "The Little Talk," is about that time in every parent's life, where they have to sit down with their child and talk about right and wrong, light and darkness, Autobots and Decepticons.

Link?

The Ides of March

So, today is the fifteenth, what they call The Ides of March.  In honor of the Roman new year and the assassination of Caesar, I figured I'd make a post.

I've now written more that forty-five days in a row, with no real reason to stop (although the other night, ye gods, I did not want to do any writing, and pretty much stopped after about three hundred words).  If you have been following Big's blog/Facebook posts, it's been kind of life-changing for the guy.  His outlook, his self-image, even his hair color has changed.

For me, the thing that's remarkable, is that I'm actually getting my writing projects done.  I've expressed before that there's only so much gas in the tank for each idea that I get.  Some of them I manage to keep going until I finish, some of the ideas have enough of a reservoir to last several months (or years), but a lot of them run dry long before I get to my destination.

But writing every day, and trying to write a significant amount every day (Big's goal is a thousand words daily, and that is actually quite a lot), has been just what the doctor ordered.*  Even though it's still a struggle to get to the end of a novella, when I'm writing them in only five or six weeks, instead of six months to a year, it's enabled me to push through with purpose, and think about the next project I'm going to tackle, knowing I may actually get to it before the idea has completely faded from my mind.

Plus, being able to write those holiest of words (no, Mom, not "drunk cheerleader;" but that's a close second) every month or so does wonders for my morale.

Don't get me wrong, I still feel like a total loser, and the fact that I objectively am doesn't help matters, but at least I'm a creatively-fulfilled loser.

At this rate, I should finish "Ten Thousand Coffins" by the end of March, and then . . . what?  I could start on the next Ben Parks adventure (the one with the old man with a secret), I could write "The Sin Eater" (a project I had literally forgotten existed until yesterday), I could write a story for a contest (there's another one just about to begin), or I could try again to write a novel (that seems to be where the money is).  The sky could be the limit, as long as I do the work.

Here's to you, Gaius Julius Caesar.

Rish Outfield, The Chides of March

*And I'm not talking about Doctor Kevorkian this time.

College Graduate?

I won't bore you with the background details of what I'm about to share (although, man, why would you be reading this if you weren't bored already?), but basically, I wrote a story not long ago about my buddy's kid working at the college where I went to school, and had him snap a picture of the hall when nobody was in it.  Then I made an alteration or two to the picture, because it wasn't at all what I wanted, but I wasn't going to ask him to take another one.* 

That photo is here:

So, I wrote up the text for the story, in my usual green text, like so:

It doesn't look great, I know, but it was pretty close to what I was looking for.  And honestly, I'm real easy to please when it comes to . . .

Wait a minute, there's a misspelling on there.

Thank Krishna I caught it in time!  I was able to grab the image, fix the spelling, and whew, here's the final product:

(relieved sigh)

Yes, I went to college.  That college.

Rish Outfield, Aware of the Mistake or I Wouldn't Be Posting This


*The poor kid risked deportation just snapping the single phone pic he sent me.  Honestly, I had wanted a photo of one of the super-wide main corridors, lined with windows on both sides, so you could see that it was night.  This hall doesn't look anything like the hall in my memory (or the story), but ah well.

Rish's Voice on "The Eyestalk Kid" on YouTube

A long time ago, I was asked to contribute my voice to Al Bruno III's "The Eyestalk Kid."  Well, it's available, in video form, over at YouTube.

The carnival comes to town, and with it a barker wanting fifty dollars to view something called The Eyestalk Kid.  Hilarity does not ensue.

I voiced Mister Fether, and it was long enough ago, I had no idea where the story was going.  There are characters called "Mister Fether" and "Doctor Tarr" in there, like you would in a horror story.  Oh, and one more thing: the characters attending the carnival are all adults, with spouses and jobs, as opposed to the usual teenagers that would populate one of these stories.  I found that strange.

Here's the link.

This is an interesting format to release it in, since it's still totally just an audio file, with a couple of images in the background.  Makes me wonder if I should release a story or two of my own on YouTube, since I've already got them edited, and it would only take an hour or so to make a "video" version.  Hmmm.

Rish Outcast 68: Unique Combination

This week, Rish shares with you the first (at least I think so) Broken Mirror Story* he's put on the show, one based on the premise "a group of kids mix together a 'suicide,' with unexpected results."

It's called "Unique Combination."  Is it any good?

Say it with me, children . . .

Oh, and Big's story was called "True Colors."  Ask him about it sometime.



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*I never shared the one about the dandruff shampoo that also serves as male enhancement, did I?