Wednesday, July 10, 2024

Taking It To The Mats

More than twenty years ago, Big Anklevich challenged me to write a story based on his premise, which was the first Broken Mirror Story Event.  If you recall, I finished my story, "Monitored Conversation," around a year before he finished his own story, "The Baby Dies - What, Does That Surprise You?"

And that's been the status quo for pretty much all these years (though never with that long a gap in between*).  But not anymore.  No, the sock is on the other glove now, kids, because Big continues to write like crazy, maintaining a steady workman's pace, while I can only manage to fart and watch YouTube with a similar frequency.

A couple of weeks ago, I told him it was time for us to start thinking of another writing contest, something we could do across both our podcasts.  He, disgusted as usual by my suggestion, asked what I meant.  I said, "Oh, something like, Write a story about evil or haunted floormats**, that sort of thing."

The mats on my car look like they've been driven over and dragged a country mile, then put back in my vehicle using a pitchfork, and I keep meaning to replace them, but I'm way too cheap.  A couple of times lately, I've thought they might be cursed and it's high-time to burn them in the backyard, like I'm from West Virginia and it's a class textbook by a woman author.  

And I thought, as I do every week, there's got to be a story in that somewhere.

I wish my mats looked this good.

Well, to my surprise, Big said, "Challenge accepted," and commenced work on it before the suggestion was even out of my mouth.  And not only has he finished his, but it's over twelve thousand words long (the crazy bastage even considered running it in the next episodes of his podcast).

Meanwhile, my story isn't even half that length, is far from finished, and for the third time in a row, just not very good.  Hmmm.

Well done, Anklevich.  Truly, the student had eclipsed the teacher, and has been sleeping with the teacher's wife. 




*Technically, this is not true, as he wrote a story about working at Little Caesar's Pizza after challenging me to do the same, and his was done a couple of years before mine (Big claims that his was written more than a full decade before mine, but I assure you, he is lying).  But that wasn't technically a Broken Mirror Story Event, since we had just said, "We both worked at Little Caesar's?  We ought to write a story about that."

**I realize that "floor mats" is supposed to be two words, but enough is enough--English is constantly shifting anyway.

Tuesday, July 09, 2024

Star Wars Cantina Patrons 13: Trinto Duaba

Yet another SW alien I never picked up, the insanely-expensive Trinto Duaba.

Monday, July 08, 2024

Winter Breakdown

So, a few months back, I put out my 2020 story "Winter Break," even including it in my Female Protagonist collection.*  I vaguely remember, when I was recording it, finishing Chapter 5 and then noting that I'd designated the next one Chapter 8, a little odd, but just changing it and going on.

Well, this week at the cabin, I found on my laptop a file called Winter Break Chapter 6,7.  I looked at the file, and thought that for sure I'd already incorporated them, but when I read through it, none of it was familiar, and I didn't have the published version to compare it to.

I did have the audiobook version, though, and sure enough, it did not include Chapters 6 or 7 (the narrative just skips ahead, with a couple of paragraphs summing up what happened in the missing section).

Great news.

But this sort of thing happens again and again (and again and again) with me, because, as Big would gladly point out, I don't keep all my stories on Google Docs, where every time I work on one file, it updates on every computer.  And how much extra work has that cost me?  Well, enough to have written a couple more stories, maybe even a couple novels.

But today I'm sitting down and recording those two chapters**, because I just can't let it go.  If it makes the finished products even a little bit better, I guess that's a price I'm willing to pay.


*Oh no, I should be thinking about what I should put in the second Female Protagonist book now.  Do I include a Lara Demming story?  How about one of the Dead & Breakfast tales focusing on a girl/woman?  Maybe put that Princess Leia story in it, since I've never released that other than our podcast?  That story about the girl in college that tells the sorority girls their darkest secrets that I never dared put out because it was mean-spirited?  None of the above???

**After doing it, I found that it involved redoing four chapters, as I now could take out the summary I'd written for one of them, as well as as contradiction this addition created in yet another later chapter.  Such fun.  Except it is kind of fun, to do audiobooks, and nobody MADE me do it; this is all on me.

Star Wars Cantina Patrons 12: Hem Dazon

 

So, today's alien is the first one we see in the Cantina: Hem Dazon. His species is Arcona.

And hey, today is the last day you can go HERE and back the HasLab Cantina campaign . . . you can have this, if you want it.

Note: The actual puppet was only a head and neck, so somebody somewhere had to make up what the rest of this guy looked like, including the weird legs on this one.



Sunday, July 07, 2024

Star Wars Cantina Patrons 11: Pons Limbic

Today, let's talk about Brainiac aka Pons Limbic, which I do not have.  

Do you have him?  If so, why?

Rish Outcast 283: All's Well That Ends Well

Inspired by Big Anklevich and Taylor Swift, Rish talks about some of his favorite unhappy endings.

Warning: Spoilers abound!

Timecodes (unreliable)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) - 20:02

Halloween: Season of the Witch - 25:20

Se7en - 28:45

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Normal Again) - 31:05

Pet Sematary - 35:15

The Mist - 37:25

Planet of the Apes (1968) - 38:16

On Her Majesty's Secret Service - 42:35

The Descent - 44:44

Also, various Stephen King stories (The Jaunt, Gramma, The Mist), Big Anklevich stories, The Outer Limits, maybe more. 

If you want to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you want to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

If you want to hear the whole Taylor Swift song, go HERE.

Logo by Gino "All's Swell" Moretto.

(I published this at 7:07 on 7/7)

Saturday, July 06, 2024

Star Wars Cantina Patrons 10: Nabrun Leids

Today I talk about Nabrun Leids of the multiple arms. 

Note: The HasLab Cantina DID reach 14,000 backers, so it will include Mister Leids.

Friday, July 05, 2024

Exercise Goal - First Six Months

Whoops, we're into July now, and I haven't posted my exercise progress.  Six months are over, and for my silly goal of 200 days of exercise, that means I should be at around one hundred.

Whoops, I'm at 146.

I feel a little bit like Big Anklevich* (since I have a craving for juicy red flesh and neighborhood women can't keep their hands off me) when he was so far ahead of his yearly writing goal that he could slack off for two months and still have no problem achieving it.  

But like Big Anklevich, I'll keep exercising (on Wednesday, there was a whole family fishing off the dam where I do my weekly runs, and I just tucked my head down, turned the music up, and ran past them twice, ignoring the cries of "What is that man doing, Daddy?" and "Why does he run like Forrest Gump if he'd never got the leg braces off?"), and we'll see just how far past it I can run.

Star Wars Cantina Patrons 9: Takeel

In this one, I talk about the Snivvian alien Takeel. 

Note: Most Star Wars die hards refer to the character Zutton (which I don't have) as the inspiration for the Snaggletooth 1978 figure.

Thursday, July 04, 2024

Star Wars Cantina Patrons 8: Greedo

Today, I talk about the MOST important Cantina denizen (other than Han and Chewie, I suppose), the bounty hunter Greedo. 

Note: Hasbro WILL be making a new Greedo in the Vintage Collection in 2025.


Wednesday, July 03, 2024

Star Wars Cantina Patrons 7: BoShek


Now I talk about a figure I never did buy, BoShek. Mind the tears, kids.