January Sweeps - Day 343

I'm at the library again, and it's closing in an hour.  I think I can get some words, as I've finally reached the point in the Dead & Breakfast novel where Mason gets to use the words the ghost of Old Man Teklits gave him nearly two years before.  I set that up with no idea how it was going to pay off, but like George Lucas, I'll tell people that I always had it planned out before I even started writing these.

If . . . and it's a big if, I manage to pull it off, it should be a pretty powerful moment, although I originally thought the conversation would be in person, and now it's turning out to be over the phone, and I'm enough of a screenwriter to realize that'll work much less well.  We'll see if I can make it work.

Oh, another thing: my brother-in-law was watching a football game this afternoon, and a Geico commercial came on that said the name of the Lara and the Witch story I wrote in the fall.  It's the "Fencing Problem" ad, where a bearded dude and his chillingly attractive wife complain about their neighbors' fencing . . . and then said neighbors enter the frame with foils and fencing gear on.  

The above is a longer version than the fifteen second one I saw, but I couldn't find the cut-down one.  

It's really, really dumb, but it ended with the voiceover guy saying "Bundling Made Easy," which is what I titled the story where Lara falls in love with a basketball player named Scott, who I never gave a last name to.*  It made me laugh, even though it's a gross pun, but made me feel inspired, as far as my story title goes.  I hope somebody out there likes the narrative as much as I like what I named it.

Okay, I started the scene, and got 185 words into before I started surfing the internet.  The dang library is about to do it's "Please take your purchases to the registers and thanks for shopping at Toys R Us" message.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In January: 1003

Push-ups Today: 60 (I think today I was supposed to do my big set)
Push-ups In January: 743

Words Today: 933 (I had intended to get to a thousand, but I have reached the tipping point--the climax, if you will--and I'll to give some thought to what happens next)
Words In January: 5030

*Over and over in the story, it's written as Scott ____, because I enjoy giving full names in my stories, but was too weak to give him a full name.  Any suggestions?

Storage Unit Serenade 40

As the weather improved, and I made a weekly trip to the family cabin, I only recorded two of these at the storage unit, preferring nature's grandeur over . . . whatever this is.  Also, I soon got a new phone, so I could see when I was out of frame or too far back.*

Stats

Pre-Eighties Songs: 9
Eighties Songs: 13
Nineties Songs: 8
Aughts Songs: 3
Teens Songs: 7  

*If I ever found a spare four hours, I should put together all the clips from songs that I wasn't able to use, due to the space running out, the camera falling, the image turning on its side, or my head going up out of the frame.  Maybe for SUS 50.

January Sweeps - Day 342

So, I spoke to Big Anklevich today.  He told me he felt it was time to run our fabled "Final Episode" of the Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine, which we recorded around 2010.  The reason is financial more than emotional, as he is the one who pays for the hosting and domain name, and despite our recent Christmas productivity, the donations he receives aren't going to cover what he'll pay in 2021 (he even had to pay extra in December since we ran five episodes on the feed, exceeding our bandwidth).

We would still podcast together, from time to time, appearing on one another's solo shows, and maybe return to That Gets My Goat (one of my New Year's Resolutions is to put out the lost episode from 2019 we did with Marshal), but he would no longer have to pay to maintain Dunesteef.com, and LibSyn, which hosts the shows.  I told him to mention this to his fans before he goes forward with it, but I didn't try to talk him out of it.  

When the two of us went our separate ways in June of 2017, him moving to Houston and me staying in a puddle of my own filth, we vowed to stay in touch, and we have done so, texting every day and speaking twice a week.  But the topical podcast has never recovered, and the short story podcast was already on life support.  We now only do the show on special occasions, and another of my resolutions for the year is to get together with him to do one of our stories on video (a trial run I did last year with my story "Rest Stop"), and he told me, Why not have that be our final story on the show?

Time will tell what we decide on that front.

In other news, I hit the library again the way you'd hit your local pub, and had a much easier time writing, even though it was right before closing.  I'm back working on "Only Have Eyes," and I'm going to have to figure out how much of it can be left unresolved at the end, as I had three subplots going in it--Mason's romance, Natalie's brush with a new, terrifying spirit, and Meeshelle's suspicions about her boss.  It seems natural to combine the Natalie and Meeshelle plot at the end, but I don't know how one goes about getting rid of a particularly nasty spirit in a place that is as haunted as Noble Oaks is.  Can you bring in a preacher or Mormon missionary and have them cast that specific ghost out of the building, or would it send the other, less malevolent ones packing too?  I guess I'll have to ask Marshal about i--

Wait, ghosts aren't real, are they?  I can have whatever I want happen.  Hmmm.  That should make things easier, but it doesn't.  Anyway, I guess I'll just focus on Mason and Rowan and cross the other bridge when/if I get there.

Push-ups Today: 50
Push-ups In January: 683

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In January: 903

I closed out the evening with my sit-ups, a few warm-up push-ups, and my run around the neighborhood, but as I was jogging, I remembered the story I had been planning to record the last two nights (I think it's called "Bad Trip," but I don't much like that title), so I cut it short a block early, turning to go back home the street before I normally turn (which I don't tend to use because, if I've gone all that way--.80 of a mile, why not just go to the next block?), and ran east . . . until I reached an entire street with no streetlights, or any houses with their porchlights on.  

It was surprisingly dark, since there was no moon out and the major street I usually run on has streetlights on both sides of the road.  It was good and spooky, like the little farm town where I grew up, and I have to admit that I slowed way down, afraid that I might slip on some unseen ice, or just trip over a crack in the asphalt.  And as I was passing a fence, a dog started barking ferociously on the other side of it, scaring me quite excellently.  It made me think I should be writing horror stories instead of Romance, Christmas tales, Westerns, and contagion tales set on a space colony.

When I got home, I once again wanted to just press Pause on the world so I could get my editing done, record a story, finish my blog from the day before, and write up my New Year's Resolution list, so I could record an episode about it, which would necessitate deleting files off my recorder, which I couldn't do until I'd edited them and knew they were fine, which I can't do because I have no time (not to mention the two library books that sit beside my bed, unread, every night, which I probably won't crack until it's time to take them back a month from now).

I chose to sit down and record "Bad Trip," since I could use it for a future episode . . . and it just wasn't very good.  I disappointed myself, because the premise was so amusing, and I couldn't wait to share it on the podcast, offending my listeners with five full minutes of dick talk.  There was only one line that made me laugh (so I had to do it over) in a story that was meant to be darkly hilarious.

So, I won't be doing an episode about "Bad Trip" (which I retitled "Afield Trip," and then changed it back).  But I will put it in my fifth audio collection, and maybe Big will have something nice to say about it.

Words Today: 374
Words In January: 4097

January Sweeps - Day 341

You heard me say this on Wednesday (or rather, you saw me type this), but I wasn't particularly keen on writing yesterday.  Luckily, I did pick a file ("Only Have Eyes") and wrote half a thousand words on it, which isn't a lot, but was more than I wanted to, what with the chaos in our nation's capital, and actual, genuine interest in what would happen with the election certification.

Today, I have no such excuse.  I haven't written a single solitary word, and it may not happen at all.  It's not anything wrong with me, to be honest, it's just a repeat of what I was feeling in 2018 at this time: I don't particularly care about writing, and it seems like a waste of time to me.

I mean, it IS a waste of time, kids.  Nobody cares.  The only person with a vested interest in these stories and these characters is me, and I've frankly done enough.*  Don't believe me?  I've written 368,194 words since February first.  That is more than could reasonably be expected of me.  That's some Sanderson-level shit right there.

So forgive me if I haven't a damn left to give.

This is what I think of literally every time I hear someone use the term "cops out."

Instead, I'm going to sit down and work on my list of New Year's Resolutions, and maybe see how I did with last year's.

I wrote up a list and started to record my episode, but wow, it was loud.  The kids are having some kind of sleepover in the living room with the neighbor boys, so I may not be able to do sit-ups today, or get some recording done, which I really wanted to do (and it would count as at least SOME writing words, even if I'm still actively against it).  While running, I was thinking about stories I could present on my show, and I remembered one that I wrote around 2017 when I took my nephew to a school field trip and texted Big the whole time about how much worse it could be.

I thought it would be really, really fun to run that story (currently called "Bad Trip," although "Afield Trip" or "Trip Afield" might be better), but I'd warn people about its offensive content beforehand.  But with the TV blasting through the (closed) door, I guess I won't be doing that today.

After the kids had gone to bed, I ended up doing a podcast with Marshal, and then Big called and the three of us did a Star Wars show for February, and by the time that was done, I hadn't done sit-ups or push-ups, or had anything to eat, and I had used up 99% of my recording space (I'd had to stop recording and switch to the ultra low-quality audio setting at the end so I could finish the show), so I made myself some soup instead of recording the story for the show ("Field Trip of Dreams?"), which would've garnered me some words for the day at least.

In the end, it was nearly two o'clock, and I had to be up at eight-thirty the next morning, and I had, like, fourteen words written for the day.  So I sat down and forced myself to at least get to a hundred words, so that I'd have SOMETHING for the day, instead of nothing.  And that's the best I could manage.  

And it'll have to do.

Push-ups Today: 120 (wow, that was actually one extra)
Push-ups In January: 633

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In January: 803

Words Today: 181
Words In January: 3723

*So much so that I'm willing to do a great deal of math right now instead of write.  MATH. 

January Sweeps Day 340

I did go to the library today, eager to make up for yesterday's (and really, the last few days') lack of writing focus.  It was very difficult to want to write, despite having gone to the place where my brain has been trained is for writing.

Wow, "The New Model," the Natalie Whitmore-centric D&B story I wrote in the summer is over 23K words.  That's double what I would've guessed it was.  Meanwhile, I have managed 68 words today.

Today, as you may remember, was the day that the election was to be certified in Washington DC, and Joe Biden finally "officially" proclaimed the next president of these United States.  And so, our current president, Donald J. Trump, held a rally of his die-hard supporters, and encouraged them to storm the Capital . . . which they did, breaking in, smashing windows, defacing property, and taking selfies the whole time, while members of Congress hid in underground shelters.

Here in the library, it's hard not to want to watch (though wincing throughout) at what is happening in our country.  We have become, in just four short years, one of those far-off lands where mobs hold sway and violence is a constant thing.

This was a dark, dark day in America . . . but I can't really say how it was any darker than the last few weeks, and if I want to really get depressed, I might extend that to the last few years.

I recall sitting on the subway in Chicago (this would've been 2018) and seeing a sticker on the back of one of the seats that said "Such Tiny Hands, So Much Blood."

The world has been watching.  That was never more evident than today, when I hear from my friend in Germany and my friend in New Zealand, who of course know what's going on.  The world is watching . . . and it's us at our worst.

Makes writing a story about ghosts or superhuman teens feel less than vital, you know?

Push-ups Today: 50
Push-ups In January: 513

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In January: 703

My little sister had a long shift at work tonight, and my big sister is still sick with COVID, so I was chosen to take my nephew to his basketball game.  It was at the rec center, which I hadn't been to in several months, and I have the lovely memory of someone calling the police on me at a couple of years ago (the cops were friendly and apologized, but it wasn't extremely pleasant.  Guess that'll teach me to grow a beard).

The rec center was absolutely loaded with people, many of whom were there to work out . . . in leggings.  Up on the second floor, there were exercise bikes, and I could see them cycling away as I sat there watching my sister's kid's team get humiliated for an hour.  Well, at least we were wearing masks.

Anyway, my nephew was on a team of kids, playing against a team of, well, whatever you are when you're between kid and men.  These boys were all taller, a couple of them were quite muscular, and even though they couldn't make a basket for shit, they could still play b-ball better than my nephew's team.  It would have been funny, if I were the kind of person that enjoyed seeing elderly people fall down stairs or motorcyclists get hit by trucks (there are plenty of people like that out there--my uncle regularly "Shares" videos of people violently impacting walls, vehicles, or the ground--and let's not even mention 4-Chan).  Before my nephew even got off the bench, the score was ten to zero.

He got into the game, and I watched him run up and down the court, but it was unpleasant to say the least.  Soon, it was 21 to 2.  23 to 2.  25 to 2.  26 to 2.  29 to 4.  Finally, as they reached halftime, somebody decided to turn off the scoreboard, which I vaguely remembered was a rule in these sort of things, but was still surprising to see.  And the thing that was most disheartening, in my view, wasn't the score, but that the opposing team could simply not sink a basket: they would shoot and miss, then get the rebound, then shoot again and miss, then grab the rebound, then shoot again, and rebound, and shoot until it finally went in.  Kayden's team was just incapable of getting the ball until it was handed to them after a basket was eventually made.

I had brought a book with me, and I hardly ever read, despite wanting to, so I must admit that I spent most of the last half with my head buried in it.

Words Today: 557
Words In January: 3542

January Sweeps - Day 339

My uncles are all morning people.  My Uncle Sam told me that he gets up at five am no matter what day or season it is because that's when he used to have to rise to get on the Southern California freeways before the traffic became unbearable.  My Uncle Len gets up between four and six every day, sometimes because pain wakes him, sometimes just because that's what he's used to, though he's now retired.  My Uncle Ali is much the same, both of them living in Las Vegas, where people in construction get up insanely early in order to get a full workday in before the crippling Nevada heat makes productivity impossible.

I have never been one of those.  I hate mornings.  I would rather stay up until four am and get up at ten than get a full eight hours of sleep and get up at seven.  A couple of months ago, for my own sad, mentally ill reasons, I set Tuesdays as my early days, where I would set my alarm to wake myself up early, and would leave the house with the sun low in the sky, seeing healthy, attractive people already out jogging or heading for the gym.

Well, I forgot to set my alarm last night, and for some reason . . . I still woke up early this morning, darkness out my window, but unable to go back to sleep until I checked the time.  I got my phone, checked it, and realized I hadn't set an alarm last night to wake me.  But my body had wakened me anyway.  Weird.

Sit-ups Today: 150
Sit-ups In January: 603

So, in case I didn't completely weird you out yesterday with all the twin talk, I wanted to mention that the woman I always ask twin questions to is a few months pregnant (and even during a G.D. pandemic, strangers have asked to touch her belly), and I asked what that was like, being pregnant when her twin was not.  "Guess you're even less identical now," I joked.

"Oh, we're both about the same so far," she told me.

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, my sister got pregnant about the same time as me," she said.  

My mouth wanted to drop open at that.  "You're . . . you're not due at the same time are you?"

"No," she laughed.  "But we're due the same week."

"Okay," I said, "you have to admit that there's something spooky about that, no?"

"That we're both pregnant at the same time?  Well, maybe," she said.  "Except hers was planned.  Mine was an accident."

And with that, Your Honor, I rest my case.

Push-ups Today: 118
Push-ups In January: 463

I ran out of time in the day, since I was going to my cousin's house tonight, so I did my run early.  And that meant I didn't have time to go to the library.  But as I was doing my run--oh, and it was (again) one of the hardest runs I've done*--I thought, "I don't have to go to the library to write.  I can just sit down and focus for a half hour or so like I did when the library was closed."

Unfortunately, this was yet another day when I couldn't focus much on writing, which happens a lot to me after I finish a project (though I finished that last story five days ago, how long am I going to use that as an excuse?).  I managed a couple of paragraphs added to an earlier story ("Podcatcher"), and wrote up a couple of paragraphs to an author's note for a story I'm about to publish.  We'll see if I do better tomorrow.

Words Today: 528
Words In January: 2985

*I can't really explain it, but at around the one mile mark, my body just stopped running, almost of its own accord, and I had to rest before going on.  Then it did it again to me only a block or two down the road.  It might have been something I ate, might have been over-exertion, or there might be a voodoo doll of me out there somewhere, but I was a sweaty, heavily-breathing mess when I got home (just like me at the prom, huh, kids?), despite it being January.

January Sweeps - Day 338

Not much progress today.  Mondays are busy work days for me, and I managed to get to the library as it was getting dark (which means nothing in January, I realize, so let me say around five o'clock or so).  I need to sit myself down and start working again on either the Will Choner story or the Lonely Outpost book, neither of which I have opened in a while (more than a month for the former, and two weeks for the latter).

I did write a little section there, but it wasn't a thousand words, so it might not count toward Big's daily goal.  That reminds me, I need to ask him if he's back to writing every day.  Seems like he would've said so, if he was.

I've mentioned this before (but after 337 days straight of blogging, I've mentioned it all, haven't I?), but I met a cool young lady in 2020 that has an identical twin.  I can't help myself: whenever I see her, I ask her about it.  Normal questions like: "Do you know if the other one has had a hard day or is in an accident?"  "Can you tell who is who in childhood pictures?" "Have you ever swapped places and gone by each other's name for a day?" and "If I stick you with a pin, will your sister feel it?"  Those types of questions.

About five years ago, I worked with two fraternal twins, one blonde and one brunette, both fun and attractive, neither one interested in me.  And in Los Angeles, I worked with a girl who was something called a Mirror Twin (I capitalized it because one of them had her heart on the WRONG SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!).  But I had never been friendly with identical twins before.  I wouldn't go so far as to say that this girl would consider me a friend, but if she needed a kidney, I'd probably give her one.

As you know, Bob, I am completely fascinated by the idea of identical twins, and when I asked her, months ago, if she and her sister were identical and she said, "Not anymore," well, I couldn't wait to see her again to ask her how they used to be identical but are no longer so.*

Look, I understand that I am a creep.  Don't get me wrong.  Every day that I roam the streets freely is evidence that the Jedis' ability to use the Force and/or pee in a steady, controlled stream has diminished.  But I did tell her that one day I was going to write a book about twins, where one goes missing, or one forgets about the other one or something, and she seemed to think that was interesting.  

"Any questions, Danny?"

Today, I asked her "Have you ever had a dream and described it to your sister and she said, 'I had the same dream!'?"  And she said yes.  I thought that was fascinating, and I asked her how often she will text or call her twin and her sister has called or texted her at the same time.  She said she didn't know, which doesn't help this blogpost any.

And I said, "I'm sorry, I know people have to bug you with twin questions like this all the time," and she said, "No, nobody does.  Just you."

Hmmm.

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In January: 453

Push-ups Today: 50
Push-ups In January: 345

Dude, she had her heart on the wrong side.

Words Today: 847
Words In January: 2457

*Apparently, once her sister got married and was no longer living with her, their diets, exercise routines, and number of fingers changed.  They stopped wearing their hair the same length, got different amounts of sun, and the lines around their eyes became different.  She said her sister is skinnier, has more pronounced cheekbones, and is slightly more evil than she is. 

January Sweeps - Day 337

So, this one was almost the last day . . . ironic, considering how close to the finish line I am.  Because it was cloudy and threatening to snow, I decided to go on my run before that happened.  So I did my push-ups as a warm-up, then went jogging earlier than I ever have (at around four o'clock in the afternoon), and then, when I it got dark a few minutes later, I kept thinking it was later in the day than it was.  

I edited a podcast (I'm getting worried that I don't have any stories to present to you, yet I need to put out new episodes, and so far, they're all just me in the car talking about other stuff), I recorded some answers to listener questions, and went I left my room, I saw that the kids were still up, despite school starting up again tomorrow.  Why was that?

Well, it was because it wasn't even seven o'clock yet, but because it got dark early, my whole schedule was off.  I often put things up for sale on Sunday nights, and I really busted my butt tonight, listing over a hundred and twenty items

Push-ups Today: 118
Push-ups In January: 295

It was getting late (after one am), and I hadn't written anything, so I sat down and started recording an audio version of my 2020 story "Comes the Podcatcher," which I decided to rename as simply "Podcatcher."  It was slow-going, but I managed to get down the first section, then typed up a bit to go at the end (which I may have actually written originally, but wasn't in the file I was looking at).

It's a long enough story I could present it over three episodes, and maybe I will in the spring or later.  I wrote it entirely at the cabin, and I guess I could edit it entirely there too (though that's almost six months away now).  I ought to think about a cover to it too, since the above picture probably won't quite hack it.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In January: 342

Words Today: 478
Words In January: 1610

Rish Outcast 189: The Werewolves of London Guy

This is the episode I'd wanted to do all summer, where I sat down and talk (however briefly) about musician Warren Zevon.

To download the episode, just Right-Click HERE.

To support me on Patreon, just Left-Click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Werewolf of Wellington" Moretto.

January Sweeps - Day 336

This is a special day too.  Not because of anybody's birthday (though Cuba Gooding Junior was born today), but because this is my three hundredth and thirty-third day in a row of writing.  Unless I got the count wrong, which I probably did.

Do you get those awful phishing emails that say "Interview Request" or "Employment Offer" like I do?  I hate those, and it makes me wonder about the thousands of people that are currently unemployed that have their resumes out there, and then they get one of these emails and open it with hopeful expectations.

I went to the library, and wrote up a little author's note for the Lara & the Witch Christmas story.  I mentioned a month or two back that I was seriously considering "Bundling Made Easy" for the third L&TW book, and in looking at that post today (I had forgotten what name it was, as the actual file doesn't have a title), I'm doubling down on it.  The title, while not quite as beautiful as "You're In Good Hands" (or "On Your Side," for that matter), is absolutely appropriate.

In looking at insurance slogans for a possible title for this new one, I saw a couple--"For All The Nevers In Life," and "Driven To Be The Best" and "We've Got You Covered" and "Getting Better All The Time" and "The Company You Keep"--that are all really evocative as titles (I think it's possible that, had I seen that last one before "Bundling Made Easy," I would've chosen that as the title for the third story), and I considered "Get To A Better State" for when they move to a new town and start again (but it seems unlikely I'm going to write that story now).*

So, I'm thinking that this one should be called "Made Just For You," which came up on the list of slogans, but when I did a search for it, I couldn't figure out what company used that.  One list included "Just Made For You," which is close enough, but I also couldn't find out who used that one.  Ah well, maybe I'll have to call it "You're Insured With Chubb."  

I came home from the library early because I was going to the city with my nephews for a toy trade night, but when I got home, they had decided to go fishing instead, despite having gone fishing at 6:30 this morning (apparently, they didn't catch anything the first time).  So that left me with time to spare, and grouchiness to burn off.  I edited podcasts for a couple of hours, and then ate an entire pizza myself (take THAT, 2021!).

Sit-ups Today: 131
Sit-ups In January: 242

Push-ups Today: 60
Push-ups In January: 177

Words Today: 590  
Words In January: 1132

*Big Anklevich contacted me a few days later and said, "Hey, have you named you Lara romance story yet?  You could call it "The Company You Keep."  Great minds, right?  He also suggested I use "The Power To Help You Succeed" one day.

January Sweeps - Day 335

Well, it's a new year, and I really should have done something extra today.  But I didn't.  I mostly sat around, read, and edited podcasts.  So much for 2021, huh?

But what did you expect?  Picking a fight with local drug dealers before grabbing my best girl and carrying her up three flights of stairs where we would make out while the sun set?

I did my full run tonight, did my push-ups and my sit-ups (dang, it's a new month, and I haven't set any goals yet . . . guess they can be the same goals as last month), wrote another couple paragraphs on my Holcomb story, and then sat down and finished recording "A Sidekick's Errand," as well as writing up an author's note for it.  If I had a cover for that, I'd publish it tomorrow.

I was thinking I'd ask my nephew to pose for a picture, where I'd take it from below, as though the boy were looking down into a gulley (there's a bit where Ben Parks has to lead his pony down into one), and I'd turn it into a painting the way I did "Choice of a Sidekick," which used a photograph from two years ago to depict a seven year old Ben Parks (Ben is eleven in all the other stories so far).

Sit-ups Today: 111

Push-ups Today:117

Words Today: 542

One of the irritating things about writing this blog is that on the right of the screen, it lists when I "published" this entry, which means, I dunno, when I created the post, or when I last worked on it, I dunno, anything but when it was published.  Hence, there are days when I don't post my entries because the blogging site says I already did.  Like today.