Okay, Don't Have A Good One

In all the time--a year now--I've been working at the public library, I've probably told people to have a good night (or "a good one") a thousand times.  Every once in a while, they will ignore me, but usually, they will say, "You too" or "Thanks" or "The man in the moon has chickenpox."  It means nothing, but is a social nicety that nobody complains about.

Except one guy.

The other night, as people were leaving for the night, I told one particular dude to have a good night, and he was having none of it.  He stopped in his tracks and turned on me, like one of those vicious dogs behind a fence (at least I hope they're behind one).  

"Don't tell me that," he said, rather animatedly.  

"Sorry?"  

"Don't say that!" he shouted, which got the attention of every other patron about to leave the library (heck, even the girl at Circulation looked up from her phone for a moment).  I could tell that I was dealing with either an unstable person or a royal piece of crap.  "You don't tell somebody to have a good night!"

But he was standing there, waiting for a reply.

"What should I say?" I asked.

He took a step toward me (what law enforcement would refer to as a lunge) and said, "You say goodbye!"

It was absurd enough I nearly laughed, but the man was disturbed enough already.  "Goodbye," I said.

"Thank you!" he half-yelled, then turned and left the library.

And that's it.  I didn't later learn that he'd shot up a yogurt shop or a pickleball court (one just opened here in town, so that would be extra unfortunate) or anything.  It was just a weird thing that happened to me.  Now that I've shared it with you, go ahead and have a nice day.

Poster Boy

(I struggled--as I often do--for a clever pun or play on words for the title of this post . . . but there's only so much blood you can get from a turnip)

So, Drew Struzan died recently (October 13th), and it was nice to see so many filmmakers and film fans mark his passing.  After all, he was the greatest artist of movie posters to ever live, which is saying something, considering movies are a hundred and thirty years old.  

I guess I first noticed Struzan's work when I first became a Star Wars fan, back in 1983, though most of the JEDI posters were done by other artists.  He did the INDY 2 posters the next year, though, and BACK TO THE FUTURE in '85.  His work was all over the Eighties, from GOONIES to BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, from BLADE RUNNER to POLICE ACADEMY 1-5.  If you wanted your movie to look exciting or magical or deeply appealing or just cinematic, you'd hire Drew to do the art.*

Took me an hour to make this collage--no lie.

I was lucky enough to meet the man one time, back in April of '99.  I had him sign my INDY 3 poster, and since it was about to come out, the PHANTOM MENACE one as well.  Back in those days, these folks would sign what you had for free, which is pretty much a thing of the past.

Believe it or not, this was NOT that long ago.

Struzan was sick for a long time.  One of his friends told me, gee, five years ago now, that he was too ill to do the poster for INDIANA JONES 5, and as far as I could see, INDY 4 was his last one.  He was seventy-eight, and should I live to be that old, I doubt I'll ever see somebody else as talented, or with the gift to capture the soul of the movies, as Drew.

*An anecdote I've never shared with anyone is first seeing the Struzan HARRY POTTER & THE SORCERER'S STONE poster at the AMC theater in LA, and marveling to my friend, "Huh.  That little girl with the unpronounceable first name . . . no way could she be that beautiful.  Well, we'll see when the movie comes out."

Abbie & Rish Read Robin Hobb 1

So, Abigail Hilton and I have started reading "Assassin's Apprentice" by Robin Hobb, and this is the podcast the two of us recorded when we reached the midway point in the book (approximately page 200 of 400, at least according to the library's copy--so, spoilers to that point, plus maybe two more). 

If you're interested in this first book in the Farseer Trilogy, what bit made each of us supremely angry, or listening to Abbie and me try not to interrupt each other, I think you'll get a kick out of it. It's for supporters of my Patreon, so check it out HERE (or HERE).

At least you'll enjoy the moment when she brings up (The Great) Brandon Sanderson and all he's done for authors and Kickstarter. Grrrr.

The Problem With Uranus

I was recently assigned a short story to read for a podcast, and it's not only got a mission to Uranus in it, but it's got Uranus in the title.

And I don't know if you're aware of this, but the name of that planet, at least in American, sounds somewhat like . . . well, I'll explain when you're older.

It's been a problem since before I was born, and will probably be a problem long after I'm dead, as long as there are dumbasses out there.  But it is hard to deliver in a serious way in a Science Fiction story, regardless of the tone of that story.

So, I tried pronouncing it the other way, I tried substituting the planet Neptune, and I tried to just be a grown up and read the story as though I weren't mentally ten years old.  But still, that word appears again and again, and . . . and nothing, I guess.  I suppose I just needed somebody to talk to about it.

Gotta say, that play on words positively wrecked 'em.

Exercise In Futility

At the beginning of the year, I set the goal of exercising 250 days in 2025.  October just ended, and here's my chart for the year-in-progress:

And lookie there, I have already reached my goal, with two months remaining.  Now I know what Big Anklevich much feel like when he does that insane writing spree thing he does so well.  

And I guess I can coast for the rest of the year.  Just like I planned.

Rish Outcast 313: In Security 6

Rish talks a little more about working at the library. In this volume, we get:

1) When a bomb threat calls
2) An exchange of puzzles
3) Sleeping beauty and the runaway toddler
4) The new librarian's new "friend"

Bonus . . . 5) Oh, no.

If you wish to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

If you wish to support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Gin Security" Moretto.

Crappy Halloween

So, I got an episode of the Outcast all ready to go for Halloween, uploading it and completing the blog post . . . only to realize days later than I never posted it.  So, that ain't great.

I ended up working on Halloween night, and it was fine (the library was probably the most dead I have ever seen it--is that irony?), but at one point, I looked at the monitors and I saw someone standing in the corner, their back to me, BLAIR WITCH-style.

I zoomed in, and the person didn't move, just standing there in the corner, like the end of that terrible, terrible film.  "What the fudge?" I might have said aloud.

I kept watching, hoping to understand what I was seeing.  And eventually, I did.  Turns out, the woman was using the outlet there to charge her phone, but was also looking at it.  

What fun.

Marshal & I Face A Terror From Beyond Space

Once again, Marshal Latham and I have reviewed an old movie, this one 1958's IT! THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE on the Outfield Excursions show over at Journey Into...

This was not a great movie, but it did influence Ridley Scott's ALIEN (along with Mario Bava's PLANET OF THE VAMPIRES), and tells the story of the first manned expedition to Mars, which encounters a deadly alien life form, which naturally stows away on the rescue ship.

Check out our review HERE.

Not To Fifty!

Early this summer, I got it into my sick head that I would record Fake Sean Connery either quoting a dozen or so movies, or quoting a dozen or so pop songs, and post them every so often on his Instagram page . . . to see if people had a good time trying to identify them. I picked half a dozen songs on the first day and recorded them up at the cabin, and did another half dozen the next week. And another five or so a week later.  I was having a good time.

By the time I started posting them, I had double the amount I had intended to do. Before long, I had recorded fifty of them, some easy and some hard. And I thought it would be interesting to count how many songs I had done from each decade (assuming the Eighties would rule . . . since, after all, the Eighties rule). Maybe that will be interesting to you as well.

1920s - 1
1940s - 1
1950s - 1
1960s - 4
1970s - 6
1980s - 19
1990s - 8
2000s - 3
2010s - 2
2020s - 5

To my surprise, I learned that Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon was released in the Sixties, not the Seventies.

To my further surprise, nobody out there gives a mechanic's lugwrench about my little endeavor. But I enjoyed it very much--so much so that I think I'll continue to at least one hundred, regardless of the apathy of any potential Instagram viewers/followers. Sometimes, you create art (or "art," in my case) for an audience of one.

I'll see you at the century mark.

Abbie and I Become Assassin's Apprentices

Have you ever read The Farseer Trilogy by Robin Hobb?  I haven't, but a fan of Abigail Hilton's books recently mentioned that her favorite books were those by Abbie and "The Elderlings" series by Hobb.  Abbie forwarded me the comment (since the listener said she was a fan of my narrations of the books), and I asked her if she thought I'd like the Hobb books.

Abbie said she thought I would, and wondered if I'd want to do a podcast where we read the books and talk about them.*  So, I went out and got "The Assassin's Apprentice," which is the first book in the series, and I started reading just as soon as I finished the previous book I was enjoying.**

If you too would like to read the book, then, hey, we could be brothers.  Or sisters.  Or heroes.  And if you want, you can hear the first episode of our joint podcast HERE (Abbie's page) or HERE (my page), where Abbie and I exchange questions and answers in a way that may be entertaining to you (but I make no guarantees).

Note: Abbie is very smart (or very educated, or both), and that can be intimidating. But I enjoy hearing about her breadth of experience or knowledge, and don't feel insulted if she has to mansplain something to me. I imagine we'll get tons of that as we go on with the books, especially since she has read them (the first three, anyway) before and I haven't. Of course, Abbie doesn't know that Alex McCrindle played General Dodonna in STAR WARS, so, well, you know.

*I initially misrememebered ME being the one who suggested we podcast about it, but I was wrong.  As I was about spelling "misremembered."

**That one was Thomas Hardy's 1874 novel "Far From The Madding Crowd," which I honestly only read because they made a movie of it, an annoying habit I have.

Podcast That Dares 63: The Slizzers

Rish presents Jerome Bixby's 1953 tale, "The Slizzers." When his buddy lets his guard down at their usual poker game, Jerry discovers the man is not what he appears to be.

Guest-starring Big Anklevich as Fred!

Note: Episode 62 was for Patreon supporters only.  So there.

If you'd like to download the episode, Right-Click HERE.

Come support me on Patreon HERE.

Logo by Gino "The Scissors" Moretto.