September Sweeps - Day 595

This weekend was the first comic convention I've attended since the pandemic.  Masks were required, but they were kind of unpleasant.  I ought to blog about it, but boy, it does make you tired, walking around so much, eating so much crap food, and being around that many people (those related to you and those not).

My oldest nephew, thirteen, had it in his head to take a backpack full of toys with him, instead of an empty backpack to fill with toys.  It made no sense to me, but within ten minutes of getting there, he broke off from our group to wander around by himself, and I guess what he did was, he went up to vendors and asked them what they'd give him for the toys in his bag.  On a couple of more worthless items, he asked what they would trade for them, then took that new item around to see what the vendors would give him (or trade him for it).  He claimed to have made hundreds of dollars this way, and while I initially didn't believe him, he brought two bags full of toys the next day to do the same.

Two great tastes that taste great together!

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In September: 1985

About a third of the attendees were in costume, and about a hundred of those were dressed as Loki (in one of several iterations, from President Loki to 2012 Loki to Lady Loki).  My cousin's three kids all dressed up, for all three days (though I can't imagine you'd ever get those costumes clean for another year, and they'll have to be burned).

I didn't take a lot of pictures (I've gone to probably twenty of these in the last fifteen years), but I did take a picture of my ten year old nephew at the Ghostbusters booth, petting a Terror Dog.  The problem was, it was electronic, and when he got close enough to pet it, its eyes turned red and it roared.

Pants crapping in 3...2...

I went to a few panels, but except for one with low-level cast members of "The Mandalorian," none of them thrilled me like the old ones used to do. 

I bought very, very little at this convention, less so than I can ever remember buying before.  There's always all sorts of amusing or neat-looking junk for sale at these cons, such as a butterfly knife with a spoon on the end.

Besides crazy amounts of food, I bought an action figure the first day, a comic book the second day, and three Miles Morales figures the third day.  And I think that was it.  Of course, the comic I bought (Savage She-Hulk 1) was the most I'd ever spent on a comic book before.  But it was a book I'd always wanted to own, and who can say, after the Disney+ series premieres, maybe the comic will shoot way up in value.  You never know.

Push-ups Today: 220
Push-ups In September: 2499

My nephew, though, spent insane amounts of money, especially on the last day.  There was a booth selling an X-Box Series S, and he got it into his head to buy it.  I figured he plays enough video games as it is (they have an X-box 360 and a Nintendo Switch), and told him he couldn't, but he called his dad who said that if he had the money, to go ahead.

If you can believe it, my nephew DID have enough money, but he had bought a bunch of sports and Pokemon cards, and just fell short of the total.  I hoped he would understand that when you blow your money like that (on stuff you sort of want), you might not have enough to buy what you really want.  But the lesson was lost on him.

I COULD have given him/lent him the money to buy it (he also wanted to buy games to go with it too, as well as an extra controller), but I honestly did not want him to buy it.  No matter what his dad said.

And when the boy went off to try and sell some of the cards he had picked up (nobody wanted them because he had opened them as soon as he bought them), somebody else bought the X-box, and his day was ruined.

He complained about it for the rest of the day, and during the next day as well, even going as far as to claim that he was going to SELL the X-box, not play it (which was never even a consideration).

Words Today: 1978
Words In September: 14,085

September Sweeps - Day 594

I'm sorry, I'm very very tired.

I got up early today, trying to get stuff done before I headed out of town for a convention with my cousin.  But I've been falling asleep for a half hour now, and I managed nearly no words at all, which is sad, but it's what I've chosen to accept for the day.

I'll try to write about the con tomorrow.

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In September: 1885

Push-ups Today: 66
Push-ups In September: 2279

Words Today: 120
Words In September: 12,107

Rish Outcast 206: August To August

Sorry about being a month late on this one.  

We've got something of an experiment here. Rish from 2020 interviews Rish from 2021 in this--their admittedly most indulgent episode ever.

Go ahead and download the episode by Right-Clicking HERE.

Go even further ahead and support me on Patreon by clicking HERE.

Logo by Gino "Oddest To Oddest" Moretto.

September Sweeps - Day 593

A note to you Karens out there.  I took my nephew to Burger King for lunch, and ordered him french fries and a burger, but he wanted ice cream.  I told him no, but he stomped off, throwing enough of a fit that the nice lady behind the counter made him an ice cream cone and brought it to him.  Only difference between him and you is--he's four.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In September: 1774

I wrote the first section/intro to that "Lara and the Witch" story yesterday, and I really don't want to continue it today.  Maybe it could be like the first scene I wrote for the third "Calling" story last year--just enough to get the ball rolling, but half-assed enough I never have to go back and finish it.

You could learn a lot from a dummy.

Push-ups Today: 220
Push-ups In September: 2213

Words Today: 896
Words In September: 11,987

September Sweeps - Day 592

This is the first time I've come back to the library since I finished my novel, and I have nothing to write.  I came up with (yet) another story idea yesterday, and I absolutely REFUSE to start writing it, even though when it came to me, I thought, "Holy guacamole, I can't wait to start on that!"  What I need to do is finish up one of my (many) unfinished stories, then sit down and work out the logistics on this new project, which could work as (yet) another Lara Demming story, but I really don't want it to.

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In September: 1674

Oh, I'm reminded, though, of a post I saw on another writer's Facebook yesterday.  She was complaining about how men write women in books, and was trying to show us what it would be like if women writers did the same thing, describing a man coming into a room with swinging, hairy, knotted, elongated testicles on full display.  It was crude and heavy-handed, and it made its point: men and women really have not a damn thing in common.

Okay, no, I see what she was doing, and I couldn't help but think of my recent vow to ALWAYS mention boobs in everything that write, at least until this inequality in our society has been truly brought to light.*  I felt a bit embarrassed by my promise--though because I made it on the grave of my parents, I feel obliged to still fulfill it--but not as embarrassed as I did by the idea of a dude entering a place of business with his scrotum hanging out.

Push-ups Today: 70
Push-ups In September: 1993

I ended up spending a few minutes writing up my synopsis of the maybe Lara Demming story, and when I realized that none of that counted toward my word count, I shouted "Boogers!" loudly enough that absolutely no one looked over at me on the second floor of the library.

So, I just started writing the opening scene of the story, setting it early in Lara's Junior year of high school.  Sadly, when I checked the timeline I've been keeping on the series, that would put this story in between the prologue and first chapter of "Bundling Made Easy," which I wrote last year, and haven't even considered publishing.  That means Lara has had one real boyfriend in her life, and he was a douchebag**, so I think it could work that she has an almost relationship with this new boy before she meets her major heartthrob Scotty later in her Junior year.  Heck, I could have her have a class with Scott in this story, and think he's super dreamy.

But I didn't intend to start another "Lara and the Witch" story.  I just wanted to get some words written, and not lose this (pretty good) idea that came to me yesterday.  Hmm.

Words Today: 896
Words In September: 11,091

*Okay, that's just me trying--and failing--to be funny.  I write about boobs a lot, I realize, and after another writer (not the same outraged one referenced above) vowed to ALWAYS include gay, lesbian, transgendered, or queer characters in everything she wrote from this point on (regardless of the subject matter), I decided to make darn sure there were boobs in everything I wrote too, even if it was a children's story about talking magical rabbits.  After all, "juggs" does rhyme with "Bugs," kids.

**I based him off of you.  But to your credit, you'd never refer to breasts in any of your writing.  Never.

15 Goals For 2021 - September Update

1.  Go on one hike a month.
I'm going to say yes (even though the answer is no).

2.  Finally write the "Bossk PD" sketch.

I started it, but never came close to finishing it.

3.  Collaborate on a story with Big Anklevich.

This seems highly unlikely.

4.  Put out Christmas collection I was supposed to put out in 2020.
Gosh, this does too.

5.  Put out Audio collection I was supposed to put out in 2019.

Boy, I'm starting to sound like a broken record here.

6.  Go to the Salt Flats in central (northern?) Utah.
This happened!

7.  Finish "Only Have Eyes For You."
Holy Haley Joel Osment, this happened too!

8.  Publish "Hatchling." 
I honestly considered sitting down to start recording this tonight . . . but did this blog instead.

9.  Publish "Underdecorated" AND "podcatcher" AND "A Sidekick's Errand."
I know "podcatcher" is out there(now lowercase), as well as "Sidekick's Errand."  Getting closer.

10.  Record "Know When To Walk Away" With Big.
We planned to do this, but it didn't happen.

11.  Put out two "Tales of eBay Horror" episodes.
I did record one of these in 2021, but I won't get to publishing it.

12.  Finally finish "Balms & Sears."
Never gonna happen.

13.  Put out lost TGMG Thanos episode.
Oh, this one got done too!

14.  Continue to exercise.  Why not?
So far, so good.  I've missed one day of push-ups, I believe, but have done sit-ups every day, and gone running whenever I could.

15.  Maintain a positive outlook on life.
Time will tell.

These are my completed writing projects in 2021:

1.  Only Have Eyes For You (D&B . . . novel-length)

2.  Jake From State Farm commercial (sketch)

3.  Heads Up (Horror, longer version and short version)

4.  Testing Anxiety (flash)

5.  The Bad Man In Room 2 (D&B)

6.  The Company You Keep (Lara & the Witch)
7.  Untitled Lara Valentine's Day Story (Lara & the Witch--gotta title it soon)
8.  Rookie Mistake (sketch)
9.  Twin Novella (Unidentical Twins?)
10. When You Need It Most (Lara & the Witch . . . novel)

September Sweeps - Day 591

One of my most enjoyable gigs while doing Extra work in Los Angeles was appearing on the sitcom "Norm."  I don't talk about it all the time, but it's in my top three, I'd say (the others being FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS, and either SPIDER-MAN or the hillbilly cultists episode of "X-Files").  "Norm" was a sitcom with SNL alum Norm MacDonald, Laurie Metcalf, and Artie Lange about troublemaking social workers.

It was one of those shows shot before a live studio audience, and while we rehearsed it before the actual shoot, I was unprepared for just how funny the dialogue was that we, the background, were supposed to ignore.  If I recall, we did the scene multiple times (even with the live spectators) because of crack-ups, and people trying alternate lines, and then . . . it was over, people were applauding, and we got to go home.  I only worked on four or five sit-coms the whole time I was an extra (and "Frasier" didn't count because it was a taped remote at the Staples Center), but that was my favorite.

And now, Norm MacDonald has died at the age of 61.  Cancer again, even in the midst of a pandemic.  

I knew him from his work on "Saturday Night Live," where he anchored the Weekend Update desk, and would often throw the same joke into multiple episodes (about David Hasselhoff or Frank Stallone) to reward people who were paying attention.  He was pretty great, until he was abruptly fired for making a few too many O.J. Simpson jokes, and replaced by the staggeringly unfunny Colin Quinn.

After SNL, he starred in multiple Adam Sandler productions, got his own movie (DIRTY WORK) that my roommates and I saw on opening day, did some television work (he had his own talk show, apparently), but mostly did stand-up and guest appearances on talk shows, where his talent was best displayed.  He had a unique delivery and a rambling, seemingly-lost style, and I'll never forget his appearance on the last week of Letterman, where he ended his set with a tearful goodbye, despite admitting that "Mister Letterman is not for the mawkish, and has no truck for the sentimental," which are words of such Shakespearean poetry I've never forgotten them.

As usual, it has been nice to hear people who knew him go on about the man, and share funny stories or clips that make me laugh just as hard if I'd seen them before.

Sit-ups Today: 125
Sit-ups In September: 1563

Push-ups Today: 219
Push-ups In September: 1923

Words Today: 683
Words In September: 10,195

September Sweeps - Day 590

I didn't make it to the library today, but I might get a couple of days in this week.  Thing is, I'm not working on anything, story-wise, and that's pretty daunting.

I did sit down--twice to work on "Undecorated," and while I'd like to say it went well, sigh.

Doesn't matter, though.  All I can do is put them out, knowing it was the best work I was capable of.  Art is subjective anyway.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In September: 1438

Push-ups Today: 135 
Push-ups In September: 1704

Words Today: 611
Words In September: 9512

September Sweeps - Day 589

This doesn't count as a hike, but my nephew begged me to take him up the canyon to see if we could catch any frogs or salamanders.  I'm always a sucker for that stuff, so I loaded him in (along with a net and a bucket), and we drove first to the town where my sister lives, to see if there were any at the golf course there (my brother-in-law says he sees tons of salamanders when he goes golfing there).

My nephew was super nervous about us going there, sure we were gonna get caught, thrown out, arrested, or hit with golf balls.  I told him no one was going to care, and indeed, the only time anyone even noticed us was when they zoomed by on their golf carts, even then not noting we didn't have clubs with us.  I hadn't been to that golf course in years and years--I remember jumping in the water hazard pond as a teenager, which is only slightly less mature than I am as an old man--but I was surprised to find deer walking around between the holes, lazily looking up as the two of us walked past, then going back to grazing.

After that, we went up the canyon, caught a few fish (minnows) for him to feed to his remaining two frogs, and then headed to the next town, where construction got us lost for about twenty minutes (the main road into town was closed down, so we took a back road that eventually took us miles out of our way and into another town completely.  We caught a few more fish there, and then it was time for him to get home, since he has school tomorrow morning.

Like I said, I'm not counting it as my hike for the month . . . but I could.

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In September: 1338

Push-ups Today: 140
Push-ups In September: 1569

Darn, I really ought to write something about it being twenty years since September 11th.  It was truly a life-changing day, and I still remember how it started, and how it ended with me calling my mom to patch things up after we'd had a fight over religion.  There were so many tributes, so many people sharing their feelings and memories, and SO many memes on social media that I just didn't feel like I had anything to contribute.  Still don't.

Words Today: 107
Words In September: 8901

I know it's close to nothing, the words I've written these last few days, but I'm honestly fine with it.  I had planned to quit writing completely, so any little bit is something.  I set up my microphone in the afternoon, planning to start recording another story or book (either "Hatchling" or "Underdecorated" or "Winter Break"), but my nephew demanded I take him somewhere "before it got too late," and I totally gave in.

At the end of the night, my mic was still plugged in, so I sat down and started recording "Underdecorated," the shortest of the three projects, thinking I might be able to get it done that very night.

However, I had stayed up until nearly six in the morning the night before (thanks to my extensive nap), and I paid for it trying to record an audiobook.  After twenty minutes, I started getting sloppy, and by half an hour, I was falling asleep at the computer.

I stood up, knowing I still had push-ups to do (I think I was supposed to do 219 today), but went in the other room, got a big drink of water, then came into the room to check the internet.  And that was it--I conked out with the lights on and the laptop next to me.  Whoops.

September Sweeps - Day 588

The other day, my pal Big Anklevich made a comment on my blog about my goal (for September) to finally stop writing every single day.  He said that it had been a year since he stopped writing every day (his goal was to reach 300,000 words--which he did achieve), and since stopping, not only had he not written, but other aspects of his life had fallen apart as well.

His last year, according to him, has been absolutely terrible (at least that was my interpretation of "a purposeless, shitty year"), and he lays at least some of that at the feet of quitting his laudable, impressive daily writing effort.

So, I did have that in mind on this, the first day where I no longer have to write, and would probably be best situated for moving on and starting something new . . . but his message did give me pause.*

I fell asleep while wasting time on Facebook, and ended up wasting the whole afternoon.  I mean, I didn't even try to go to the library, because it would be closing twenty-five minutes after I got there.  What would I have written about anyway?

Sit-ups Today: 111
Sit-ups In September: 1227

The day ended, and I didn't get a single word.

I figured that was that.

Push-ups Today: 50
Push-ups In September: 1429

Heck, the night was getting close to over, and I hadn't written anything (that lengthy nap really recharged my batteries, I guess, because I wasn't tired at midnight, nor at two, nor even at four).  And that was fine, really.

But I kept thinking of what Big said, and so, as crazy as it sounds, just after five am, I opened up a document and wrote a paragraph.  Then I wrote two more.  At quarter to six, I yawned, and said, "Alright, good enough," and went to sleep.**

Words Today: 201
Words In September: 8794

*There are a lot of people who have to make mistakes on their own in order to learn for them.  But verily I say unto thee, 'tis better to learn from someone else's mistakes, not having to make them yourself.  Thyself.

**Okay, even that's a lie.  I typed all this blog post, and then I let myself go to sleep.

September Sweeps - Day 587

"Well, I went today,
Maybe I will go again tomorrow;
Yeah yeah, well, the music there,
Well, it was hauntingly familiar."
                                Stevie Nicks

Alright, here I am, at the library again (I was here on Tuesday, but just for about twenty minutes), and I'm going to finish my book.

Except, big shock, now all I want to do is write in my blog.*

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In September: 1116

I think I ought to come up with a birthday for Lara Demming, that was I'll know how old she is in any given story (the problem is, in the years that I've been writing these, the timeline has to have shifted.  I can't mention Obama being president in the first story and have Biden being president "two years" later in the narrative.  I think there will just be little inconsistencies that sneak in, no matter how hard I try to avoid them.

I wrote for a couple of minutes, then surfed the internet like a big dumb bastage, then forced myself to go back to the story, since I was right on the edge, the edge of seventeen.

And it only took a few more words.

I'm done with my book.  And it's by far the largest thing I've ever written.

Word count?  How's 77,210 grab you?

Thanks, man.

Push-ups Today: 218
Push-ups In September: 1379

Anyway, I guess I'll go home now, run around the neighborhood, and maybe eat a pizza.  

Okay, half a pizza.

Words Today: 404
Words In September: 8593

*My brain hates me, I've long suspected.