Skin-Thickening 101

Heck, maybe it's a remedial course I need, like Pre-Intro To Skin-Thickening.

"Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults.  If you succeed in doing this, tell me how."

Baz Luhrmann

So, I've been writing for a while now, and podcasting for a few years, wherein I've shared a few of my stories.  Other podcasts have run my work, I've appeared on many other shows, and received praise and award nominations.  But I still haven't quite gotten used to criticism.

Two episodes of the Dunesteef, in particular, were big generators of criticism and complaints.  The first, I talk about all the time, because, hey, eff 'em if they can't take a joke.  The second, well, it really bummed me out, to the point where I never ran another story like that on the show again.  It sort of threw my whole worldview into question when I discovered that a story that I loved (and had been loved by others) was cliched, trite, preachy, naive, and unrealistic.  And badly-dialogued.  Can yuo beleeve that, coming form mee?

Anyhow, I keep trying to toughen up, knowing that to be a creative person (or, dare I say, an artist), you've got to expect criticism.  You've got to expect people not to like what you do.  You've got to know how to take it.

And I've apparently not yet learned it.

Just today, somebody took a swipe at me online (Big says it was probably just a joke, but I was too cowardly to verify), and instead of shrugging it off and saying, "That's, like, just your opinion, man" (when there is some pretty weighty evidence on the other side of the argument) . . . I chose to eat an entire lasagna in front of the computer and not leave the house for the rest of the day.

I know a lot of creative people, mostly through doing my podcast.  Some are extraordinarily talented in a certain area, some are all-around great artists, and some are just ambitious and persistent.  Whenever I talk to people who are successful, they sound confident and driven, two things they need in order to keep getting up when life gets them down. 

And life gets everybody down.  Scary, mean old unfair life.  The trick to survival is to bend and not break.  To grit your teeth and take it, thus being all the tougher the next go-round.

My buddy B.D. Anklevich is always complaining about being too fat, too old, and too gay.  He tries not to be, but from time to time, he slips up and eats a whole bag of Black Licorice M&Ms, turns another year older, and makes out with the coatcheck boy at a twink club.  But does he despair when he stumbles?

Well, yeah, he probably does, a little.  But then, he gets back up.  He brushes himself off, pays the coatcheck boy, and tries again not to eat too much (currently, he's sworn off of all soda, even though his wife will drink Dr. Pepper while standing over him in bed, singing, "I know something yooooou'll never have"), tries to stay in shape and keep the calendar at bay, and tries . . . well, he's a pretty butch guy, actually.

I've always been the one kid who could get eight or nine positive comments on a story or drawing, but still only focus on the one person who didn't like it.*  I know this is a character flaw, and has hurt me in many ways, both personally and professionally.  It's been decades, and yet this tendency doesn't seem to be fading soon.

Holy hand grenade, what if it never does?

Well, I have to try

I'm gonna keep getting up, though.  I know my hide seems to be made of vanilla pudding (no name brand rather than Jell-O too), but I'm going to keep trying to stay positive, brush off criticism, and keep on asking "Why not?" when someone scoffs, "Why?"

Rish "Wear Sunscreen" Outfield

*I originally typed "the one kid who could hit a single, a triple, and two doubles, but still only focus on that sixth inning strike-out," but I knew it would be too obviously a lie.

Rish Outcast 14: Birth of a Sidekick (Part 1)

So, I'm going to try something a little different here.  I'm going to run my somewhat-lengthy story "Birth of a Sidekick" on the Rish Outcast, breaking it up into sections.*  If people enjoy that, I'll do it again, if I ever find the ambition.

I'll try to put out these episodes in a more rigid schedule, and see if I can't get the tale told in a timely manner.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

*If you would care to purchase the story, it can be found here, and the audiobook is here.

Another Halloween, Come and Gone/"Trick"

Did I miss Halloween already?  I only heard "Thriller" on the radio twice!

I did put some decorations up, but most of them still sit in the corner of the lawnmower shed (along with all those twelve inch Star Wars figures I foolishly bought from the Disney Store...sigh), but I didn't get into the Halloween spirit the way I wanted to.  I did focus on getting my nephews good costumes, and trotted out my old Joker costume so I'd at least have something to wear on the 31st.

I spent the first half of October doing retakes on Abbie Hilton's book, finishing up another Dumarest of Terra paperback, and trying to write an audio drama.  Then I spent the second half rushing to get thirteen Halloween episodes done of my podcast (That Gets My Goat, which I do with Big Anklevich fairly regularly).  That left less time than I would've liked for fiction writing and blogging. 

I did publish a short story ("Sleeptalkin' Gal"), start on a recording of a Dean Wesley Smith book (the man breaks his writing into refreshingly short chapters, which makes producing a bit less painful, especially as it gets later and later at night), and edited two episodes of my solo podcast, which will drop any day now.  I had to work on Halloween, but got off early enough to take my nephews out trick or treating until they got tired and wanted to go home and eat all their candy.

While I was standing on the sidewalk, watching them approach door after door, I thought it would be fun to write a little story, which I ended up posting as my Facebook status for Halloween night.  I'm not sure if it's any good, or if I ruined it by expanding it from its original four paragraphs, but here it is:

Trick

I had volunteered to take my daughter trick or treating tonight, leaving her mother to try to get some work done (which I knew would be impossible with all the knocks at the door).  We had started out just as it got dark, admiring the lovely orange and pink sunset on the horizon.  It had been fun to see Caitlyn approach houses, ring doorbells, then freeze when someone answered, only remembering to say "Trick or treat!" every third or fourth doorstep.

But now it was getting old, even though I had eaten two of her Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and a mini-Butterfingers.  I just stayed on the sidewalk now, no longer listening to make sure she said "Thank you" at every house. 

She came back to my side.  "Those guys were giving out toothbrushes instead of candy," she complained.

"That's pretty funny," I said, taking her hand and heading down the block again.

"I don't want to go there," Caitlyn said, pointing at a house that had no lights on anyway.  "It's haunted."

"Right, right," I said, humoring her.  "Or worse, they don't celebrate Halloween."

She had no retort, which is how I like it.  We kept walking.

There were other children wandering the streets, usually in little groups, and I recognized a couple of other parents as well, two of whom asked me where my costume was (apparently it was a new law that adults needed to dress up in support of their children, though I wouldn't have known how to match my kid's costume--Riley, the girl from Inside Out--even if I had wanted to.  Which I didn't).  There was also a house or two that insisted on giving me a piece of candy too, and I wasn't about to complain about that.

I had to wait even longer for Caitlyn to come back from the house at the end of Locust Lane, and started checking my phone for more naked celebrity photos. After a minute more, the corner of my eye caught her stepping up to me, and quickly stuck the phone back in my pocket. The girl took my hand as we started toward the next house. I was glad to be moving on--something in the air smelled bad.

"Okay, only a few more doors, then we're done," I said to my daughter, expecting an argument.

I was pleased she didn't complain. Up ahead, the old bed and breakfast on the corner had decorated with a pirate theme.  Maybe I should have decorated our house, or at least put in the blacklight bulb I knew I had in the closet somewhere.
 

"Jeez, your hand is cold," I observed. As we passed under a streetlight, I happened to look down.

It was not Caitlyn. The thing holding my hand was once a little girl, probably, but was now a mouldering, stinking corpse. Decay and cakelike dead skin covered her very-visible skull, and even though its eyes had long since rotted away, it turned its head in my direction and looked up at me.
"You'll be my daddy now," I heard it say as the stench of a shallow grave began to overpower me.

It doesn't shame me to admit that I began to shriek then, on the corner of Locust and Shinooginah Avenue, flailing and trying hysterically to get away from the thing that clutched me. It held on with the grip of a man, but my terror and revulsion enabled me to break free.

The creature looked at me again, its eaten-away nose stiffling as I took two steps back. It was not hard to read disappointment in its posture.

"Dad!" a small voice said from behind me. I turned to see Caitlyn stomping toward me, her white tennis shoes slapping the sidewalk in anger. "You left me there? What the hell?"

It should have been funny to hear a six year old talk like that, but I was no longer thinking clearly. "There was . . . it was . . . you were . . ." I babbled, aware it was babbling, but not able to do anything about it.

Behind me, a kid dressed as Ant-man chased after a bigger kid dressed as Spider-man, but there were no undead children, no reaching little girls.  The smell of unburied corpse was gone too.

Caitlyn reached me and gave me a punch in the hip that might have floored me had she aimed just a little bit better. "Daddy? What's wrong with you?"

I didn't know what to say--wouldn't it seriously upset her to say what had just happened to me?--and held up my hand to her in surrender.

"Eww," my daughter said. There were two maggots clinging to my palm.

Rish Outcast 13: Babysitter of the Month/Sea Monkey Do

So, this is an episode from back in July, before I got so hopelessly behind on my podcasting.  Ah, who am I kidding?  I was behind then, and I was behind the year before that.

But in this episode, which started out as me trying to do a blog post when I was too busy to do a blogpost, I talk a bit about what's going on in my world, and an idea I got for forthcoming episodes. 

Also, I present, "Sea Monkey Do," a little piece briefly summarizing the origin of the worst child scam in modern history (not taking Pokemon cards into account).



Right click HERE to download the episode--select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

This is, hopefully, only the first in a series of more regular podcasts from yours truly (and Fake Sean Connery, if I can ever get our schedules to synch).

Rish

Rish's voice on Drabblecast

Apparently, on a clear day, you can see all the way to conspiracy. At least, that's what Desmond Warzel would have you believe.

Years ago, I heard this story on Escapepod, and this week, it's appearing in full-cast form on the Drabblecast. It's done as a radio show, using fans' call-ins as almost all of the parts.  Thanks to (the great) Norm Sherman, I am one of the callers.

It's been a little while since I got to be on the Drabblecast, and though I've given up my dream of ever having one of my stories run there, it's very cool to be back, even in a very small part.  I need to stop producing my own show, and start listening to Drabblecast again.

Seriously, kids.  This production (and the story itself) is AWESOME.  I make you this personal guarantee: you will be thoroughly entertained, or I will personally refund your purchase price.  Put that in your iPod

Here's your link: http://www.drabblecast.org/2014/10/05/drabblecast-340-clear-day-can-see-way-conspiracy/

Rish Performs on "Rip" over at Campfire Radio Theater

Just in time for Halloween, Blaine Hicklin and J. Scott Ballentine are presenting "Rip" (which I initially assumed was "R.I.P.") a two-part scary audio drama as part of their Campfire Radio Theater series. In it, a honeymooning couple in London get more than they bargain for when asking for details about the famous Ripper murders.

I voice "Old Jim," an eccentric Englishman in a pub, who has an almost unbelievable amount of information about Jack the Ripper.

This was a really unique experience for me, as I was told to develop a voice for Old Jim's character, which is supposed to falter a time or two, revealing another, more natural way of speaking, when he's not "performing."*

I know a little of the Old Jack mythos, mostly from film and television, but it was neat to be giving a lecture about it, even if I was reading instead of actually leading a tour. Blaine told me that he and his wife did go to Whitechapel on vacation, but he was too timid to do what the main character does and demand the residents tell him about their local history.

As I said, this is the first part of two, with the second episode dropping shortly. Here be yon links: http://campfireradiotheater.podbean.com/e/rip-part-i

http://campfireradiotheater.podbean.com/e/rip-part-ii/

Rish

*This reminds me of some of the work I did with Abbie Hilton's book, "Hunters Unlucky," where there are different species who speak with different accents (and different characters among them), but one or two of those characters will attempt to speak with the accent of the creatures they're interacting with in order to blend in. So, I had to come up with a way of sounding like the same character, even if he was now speaking in a new accent. A challenge I'm not so sure I was up to.

Rish Outcast 12: A Wish Your Butt Makes

So, no story this time, though they are on the way.  Find out what's coming for me, my projects, and the Dunesteef.  I recorded this quickly because it's rare to get me in a positive, goal-oriented mood.

Let's see if I can get it posted as quickly.



Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.

Stay Tuned . . .

The deadline looms on the largest project I've ever taken on.  Because, of course, I assumed October would never come, and because I foolishly thought I could work on other projects too, I've still got around twenty percent left to do.  But that's okay, because I am actually ENJOYING seeing how close to the deadline I can finish this thing, and that entails spending nearly all of my free time working on it. 

Had I dedicated this much attention, sweat, and time focus on the project, say, back in July . . . I would have finished this puppy back in July.

But more on that later.  This is just a quick note to let you know that, as soon as the huge project is done, I can probably get back to publishing my short stories, writing new ones, getting my other (belated) audiobook commitments finished, creating cover art, putting out the Rish Outcast (which has about five episodes in the can and just waiting to be edited), reading through my stack of books, working with Marshal Latham again, typing up notebook stories, and of course, doing Dunesteef episodes.

So, stick around.  October may be an exciting month.

Rish Outfield, Audiobook Boy

P.S. Over at the Drabblecast this week, they're re-running my favorite story Norm's ever done on his show, "The Store of the Worlds" by Robert Sheckley.  Check it out, if you don't remember.

"Birth of a Sidekick" also available on Audible.com

Just a little note to let you know my reading of "Birth of a Sidekick" is up on Audible.com. 

I have been too busy with my other audiobook obligations to get much stuff done for myself this year (I did just finish one book, and am just over halfway through Abbie Hilton's giant tome), but I did have a mad plan of doing my own audiobooks in between doing them for others.  "Birth of a Sidekick" was my first attempt, and Big has suggested that I put three or four recordings together to make something significantly longer, which will justify people using their allotment of credits to buy one.

When I'm at work, I get all these lofty ideas in my head of the collections I'll put out, the stories I'll record, the artwork I'll create, the stuff I will share (both for a fee and for free).  Of course, when I get home, I fall asleep editing a single chapter of an audiobook-in-progress.  Don't ever get old, children.

But if anyone buys "Birth of a Sidekick," and encourages me, that might help me to achieve one or two of the many, many unrealized goals I have in my cramped little head. 

Here be yon link: http://www.audible.com/pd/Teens/Birth-of-a-Sidekick-Audiobook/B00NAC94MU

Rish's voice on Pseudopod

It's been a long time since my voice has been heard on Pseudopod, the famed Horror podcast.   But I recently voiced a small part in a fullcast production of James Triptree Jr's "The Screwfly Solution."

This appeared in the last week or so, but today, I noticed that the movie at the top of my Netflix queue is the Showtime 2007 adaptation of Triptree's story.  I thought, "I wonder if that episode of Pseudopod has aired yet."  Well, it's there, their episode 400, which is quite a milestone.

"Screwfly" is a timelessly disturbing story about a plague of religious mania that causes males to despise females of the species . . . and murder them.  It starts with the remote crazies in far-away places, but soon spreads, infecting all corners of the more and more intolerant globe.

As you can guess, it's not a tale for the Hallmark Channel crowd.

In listening, I was disturbed by the story, and fear I may have been the weak link in this particular production.  I have a very minor role in the thing, but sometimes, that's good enough.  Check it out at: http://pseudopod.org/2014/08/22/pseudopod-400-the-screwfly-solution/ 

If you dare.

Rish Outcast 11: Last Night of Freedom

So, here is another (overdue) episode of the show, one I meant to have drop right at the end of summer.  It includes the short story "Last Night of Freedom," as well as an explanation of its rather-convoluted origins.  Hopefully, you dig it.

If not . . . no refunds.


Right click HERE to download the episode, select Save Link As, and save the file to your hard drive.