I Join Big In A "Sepia Tone Prison"

Over on Biggie Anklevich's Anklecast, he's presenting a ghost story he wrote called "Sepia Tone Prison," about an old man who is unable to move to the next plain of existence, but isn't sure why.  I voice Chingaso Boludo, a guy with a nasal voice.*

So, the story was long enough he split it in two, so you'll get two episodes out of it instead of just one.  Check out Part One HERE.

 And is it "see-pia" or "seh-pia?"  Listen in to never find out!

*Okay, turns out his name is Ryan, but you can understand my confusion.

Donald Trump Indicated/Indicted

I'm not usually very political on my blog.  Sure, I make exceptions, but there's just so much of that stuff out there that I have nothing unique or particularly savvy to say about our political landscape.  But that much-delayed Trump indictment came out today (presumably the first of many), and the ex-President did his usual scream-tweeting about how this is an attack on our country the likes of which have never been seen before (his words, not mine*).  

While I doubt that the man will do any jail time, and even suspect the numerous other investigations will never lead to anything, I guess this is a bit of a momentous occasion, since no President has ever been brought up on charges in the history of our country.

So, I guess this is noteworthy enough to say something political.  But what?  

I guess I'll just mention that, Donald Trump is the most blatantly corrupt person ever to hold high office in the United States, and while it's pretty fun to see supervillains in comic books get away with their crimes in issue after issue (or episode after episode), if someone made a movie about this guy a hundred years from now, nobody would ever believe it.

*He also said he had been "indicated" instead of indicted, but ah well.

My Story "The Company You Keep" Available on Amazon

Hey, I managed to put out another novella, if you're interested.

"The Company You Keep" is another Lara & the Witch story*, this one set in Lara's first year of high school**.  Early in the year, she discovers that another girl, a Senior named Waverly Calderwood, is well-known to be a witch.  I know that I said I'd put these out years ago, but I'm finally doing it, little by little (the audio versions take longer, way longer).

Maybe you'll like this story.  It includes a reference to a Death Metal band known as the Gin Blossoms, so I can't help but be a little fond of it.

My brother gave me this shirt years ago.  I still wear it when doing painting.

Next up, I'll probably put out my 2020 short story "Winter Break," and after that, maybe the Lara & the Witch novella "Bundling Made Easy" (but that one's gonna take some work--I opened the file last week, and Lara tells some "I love you" virtually every other chapter).  I'll set some more publishing goals for April, and with luck, I'll achieve one or two.

Thanks again to Big Anklevich for making a cover for me that didn't suck (I'm going to try to interview him in April about the various covers he keeps making, but I may choose to take a nap instead), and if you want to buy a copy, just go to THIS LINK.

Oh, and to my horror, I discovered that there's a show on ABC called "The Company You Keep."  That was last night, and I published the book the night before.  Sigh.

This is an image Big made for me after I took two white mushrooms and altered them to look blue, then he took that same blue and made text with it.

*I've decided to use an ampersand in the series title, as well as Dead & Breakfast's and Lost & Found's.

**Lara's high school, like my own was, is Tenth, Eleventh, and Twelfth grades, with eighth and ninth making up junior high.

A Face Only A Mutha Could Love

 I was going through a couple of childhood boxes when we were cleaning out my mom's storage unit (a lengthy process that was dirty and unpleasant, and reminded me that one day, we'll be emptying out that stuff for real), and I found a photo album that had gotten wet at some point, ruining a lot of pictures inside.

One of those was of me as an infant, with disturbing discoloration on it, equal parts upsetting and sad.  Only a maniac would want to share something like that on his blog.

Audiobook Update

"The Cormorant" by Abigail Hilton is the largest audio project I've ever taken on.  Unfortunately, I've fallen behind (I've pretty much been behind the whole month of March), and will probably only be halfway done by the first of April (the deadline was March 11th).

We all have tasks that become daunting and start to feel overwhelming.  We have to pace ourselves, and do what we can to avoid getting burned out.  Something that I've done recently is open a second audio project at the same time as "Cormorant" (such as an Outcast episode or one of my own stories) and alternate the work between them--a five minute segment from one, then a five minute segment from the other.  It's not a perfect system, but I'm able to sit for an hour or so without screaming, and that's something.

She has already started releasing the audiobook on her Patreon feed (you can check out the first chapter RIGHT HERE), so that gives me a second ticking clock, which I probably need, to be frank.

I want to write, I want to publish, and I want to start doing the "Delusions of Grandeur" podcast again, but man, I really only have time to record, and edit, and re-record, and look up pictures of the sister in the SHAZAM! movie.  So, I'm going to keep pressing on, and maybe, just maybe, one day I'll look up and there will be light up ahead.  I'll let you know.

Rish Outcast 246: Writer's Conference - Plus One

So, I went to my usual February writers conference . . . except my pal Marshal Latham came along.  And he joins me in talking about it, as well as various panels.  What else do you want, a child cop?

To download the episode, just Right-Click HERE.

To support me on Patreon, click HERE.

Logo by Gino "Every Single Lady's Plus One" Moretto.

Unsettling Mystery

Shoot, this was from years ago, and I don't think I ever mentioned it.

Back when I'd go to the cabin every week, I arrived one day to find a tree right in front of where I park my car, and one side of it had been torn apart.  

I thought, "Holy pee, what kind of clawed animal could have done this?"  It was further disturbing because it was so HIGH up on the tree, filling my mind with images of bears, cougars, a badger that taught itself to walk on its hind legs (and attack genitals), and dudes with facial tattoos not named Post Malone.

But when I went back to close up the cabin with my brother (this would've been November, 2021), and I pointed it out to him, he told me that it was my nephew who'd done it, with a hatchet, because he was feeling bored and destructive.  Oh.

Gee, now I sort of understand why I didn't mention it before.

Cover Me, Porkins!

I've mentioned, maybe not as often as I should, that Big Anklevich has been helping me with my covers a great deal lately.  I'm trying to get back into self-publishing, and he has a strong visual sense.  Usually, our process is that I select an image, do a mock-up for it, and then he provides a better version, like this . . .

But something happened on the way to heaven; it got hold of him and wouldn't let go, and Big, on his own, started just grabbing covers of mine I had published years ago, and designed new covers for them.  And they just keep flooding in, covers like these:

Why would he do this, you may ask yourself.  And yeah, it's a good question.

I asked him myself, and Big said that he looked at some of those old covers (those old, perfectly cromulent covers), and thought they looked terrible, so he figured he'd see if he could do better.

I think it's the font that bothered him in some of the images, but a few of them he's completely reimagined, including these two really, really dark versions:

I wish there was some way to pay him back.

Exercise Gole

Last night, I planned to exercise, even got into my running clothes, and then didn't do it.  I had also set up my microphone, meaning to get a couple more "Cormorant" chapters recorded, and at least one "Company You Keep" one done (they take way longer).

But still, March has been more productive than February, and I plan on running again tonight (heck, I could stop blogging and do it right now), especially now that it's way above freezing, even when the sun goes down.

2023 Goals - March Update

Alright, here's a check-in on how I'm doing on my 2023 goals...

1.  Record and Edit "The Cormorant" for Abigail Hilton by March Deadline (oh cool, it's an April deadline.  Very doable*).
It may be doable, but whether I do it or not is still up in the air.

2.  Finish recording and publish text of "Not The Same."
The text version is out.  

3. Put out audio version of "Not The Same."
I've got all but two chapters edited.  I can get this fairly soon.

4.  Plot out and start writing the third "Calling" story (and finish it?).
No progress.

5.  Exercise.  Some kind of doable goal.  Let's say 200 days in 2023.
I only got 27 days in the first two months, but I'm doing better.  And I only have to exercise sixteen days a month to get 200 days (at least by my math).

6.  Put out Christmas collection I was supposed to put out in 2020.
No progress.

7.   Put out Fifth Audio collection, with Introduction by Big Anklevich.
No progress.

8.  Buy no more GI Joe figures.  Enough!
Shoot, I bought some in January.  They were exclusives, and very few stores had gotten them--though that doesn't excuse my transgression.

9.  Do special "Delusions of Grandeur" episode for ROTJ 40th Anniversary.
I'm thinking it's too late now.

10.  Put out "Dead & Breakfast" collection 1.
No progress.  Except that Big is willing to do a cover for it...heck, he may have already done it on his own.

11. Get 10 episodes of TPTDSIN in 2023 (got 9 in 2022).
Well, I've put out one.

12.  Release at least 1 full-length audiobook of my own (not counting collection 5 or "Not the Same").
No progress.

13.  Put out second volume of "Caller I.D." on the Outcast . . . birthday week?
No progress.

14.  Enjoy A show as much as I enjoyed "Star Trek: Strange New Worlds."
I have watched some shows, mostly with my cousin, including "The Rookie" and "Mandalorian," and "The Last of Us."  Not sure I'm there yet.

15. Publish ten (10) stories.  That's ten, mutha-fu--
So far, I've published "Not the Same," "The People We Touch," and "The Bad Man In Room 2."  Currently working on "The Company You Keep."

Look, I can do better.  And I hope that I do.  Hopefully, you'll be around to give me thumbs up, if and when I do.

*Okay, it's doable.  Just not VERY doable.

Xercise Update

I tried doing sit-ups for the first time in an entire year, and was surprised to discover that I couldn't manage a hundred.  Did I ever?

But the important thing is that I'm exercising, and pretty regularly now.  More often than I write, and less often than I edit audio.

I went on my full run last night, and about one mile in, it started to rain.  It worked wonders on getting me to exert myself, as I tried to get home before getting soaked, and was gasping and heaving when I came up the steps . . . but in a good way.