Rish Outcast 211: White House Tour

Here's a short episode with an even shorter story from a decade back called "White House Tour."  Bring the kids!

If you care to download the episode, just Right-Click HERE.

If you care at all, support Rish on Patreon HERE.

November Sweeps - Day 679

I bought one of those little dinosaur eggs to use as cover art for "Hatchling."  This was something I had thought about doing six or more months ago, but the big twelve dollar egg I saw at NPS was gone when I went back for it.  But Walmart had marked down the little tiny dinosaur eggs to a couple of bucks, so I bought one, figuring I could paint it myself.

In the story, the egg is brown, so first I painted it brown.  But it no longer looked like an egg anymore.  I asked my nephew how he thought it looked, and he said, "What, that big piece of crap on the table?"  Whoops.

So, I painted over it in tan.  Now it looked like a fresher turd.  Then I put gold and silver paint over the top of it.  It looked better, but not great.  Ah well.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 1100

The thing about this writing every day nonsense is that no matter how well I did the day before, I'm not allowed to be either proud or satisfied, because it drops down to zero again every morning.  And that right sucks.

So, here I am in the library, barely an hour before closing, and I'm going to try to get three hundred words or so in.  Even though there are Wikipedia articles I'm interested in, and my blogging has dropped way below where it used to be.

Well, I did not do well today.  I finished writing the scene I started the last time I was here, but I really struggled this time.  I have finally caught up with the narrative and am now writing instead of rewriting.  I hope that the next time goes much better, but this one seemed meandering and pointless, and I didn't even manage three hundred words.

I know I look at poor George Martin (the writer, not the Beatles producer) with disdain for having meandered and delayed that second-to-last book for more than a decade, but if this is how he feels all the time, then I should really cut him some slack.  A little, anyway.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 1123

Big Anklevich informed me that today: 12-11-21 is a palindrome, but I'll not mention that sort of filth in my blog.  And I checked Big's blog . . . and he's above it too.

Words Today: 317
Words In December: 6467

December Sweeps - Day 678

My oldest nephew doesn't do much beyond watch TV all day.  Apparently, there are seventeen seasons of "Grey's Anatomy," and he has watched sixteen of them.

I had made myself some food and was going to watch an episode of "Modern Family" (I'm on the seventh season now), and my nephew said he wanted to watch with me.  So we did.  But as soon as the episode ended, he skipped to the next one, and the one after that.  I told him I needed to go record my friend's book, and he said, "Aww, just one more."  So we did. 

I had never watched that many episodes in a row--I feel too guilty--but the Seventh Season ended, and he wanted to spring right into the Eighth Season, despite not having watched the show before.  So, we watched a couple more, and I didn't feel too terribly about it, since it was something we were doing together (and at least he was taking a break from fudgin' "Grey's Anatomy").

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 1000

When it came time for my exercise, my nephew said they'd had a push-up contest in Gym class, and the winner did eighty-seven push-ups in a row.  So I thought, "Can I do as many push-ups as an Eighth Grader?"

Push-ups Today: 87
Push-ups In December: 1023

I was in Walmart the other day, and the dude in line ahead of me had a package of adult diapers in his cart.  I felt a bit sorry for him (he seemed pretty young for that to me).  Then I started thinking about at one point I'd have to start wearing them.  Surely before I got to his age--maybe next year (maybe now).  Then I felt a bit sorry for me.

Words Today: 335
Words In December: 6150

December Sweeps - Day 677

I thought it would be fun to write another project with a high level of nonsense in it, like "Journey Into Another Dimension..." a couple of years back.  I was thinking about it while shoveling snow today--oh, we had our first snowfall, only a month or two late this year--and felt it would be fun to write a story that took place in the future, where all religious references had been replaced by mentions of the "Happy Days" TV show.  I thought of a couple of amusing possibilities, then told myself I would challenge writers on Facebook and Twitter to include a reference to Joanie Loves Chachi in something they write in 2022.  I'm sure no one will do it, but I'm sure gonna try.*

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 900

I had a pretty darn good writing session at the library today, and it felt relaxing and centering (like it was what I was supposed to be doing or some other such nonsense).  My outpost story is now at 33,000 words.  I hope beyond hope I can finish it, because it's not like anything I've written before, and that's increasingly rare.

Although I probably said that about "Hatchling," and about the Lara Demming novel.  I guess it doesn't take much for me to feel like I'm writing something new, when it may all feel similar (or worse, exactly the same) when read by another person.  Ah well.  There are things we do to keep from going insane (either from boredom, or from regular insanity), and for me, this is one of them.

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 936

I wrote an entirely new scene in my Outpost story today, which pretty much catches me up on the story.  It takes place in the future, whenever "Ten Thousand Coffins" took place.  I've struggled with ways of making Outpost III feel different from 21st Century Earth, and I might have to go through and add in slang and weird details at some point, although I don't know that I will.  I'd like to podcast about it with Big Anklevich, asking his opinion.  Maybe on Monday.

Words Today: 1565
Words in December: 5815

*I even created the Twitter hashtag #JoanieLovesChachiChallenge, but it's not trending.

December Sweeps - Day 676

Boy, I haven't been keeping up with the blogging lately.  I seem to have misplaced my will to care.

But these things happen in cycles, right?  One day, something will happen, and I'll be blogging away again, like a good little reptile.  I'll see you then.

Sit-ups Today: 100

Sit-ups In December: 800

Marshal Latham wrote a sketch for our Star Wars podcast and sent it to me.  I unthinkingly went into it and started adding little jokes and details to it, figuring he could keep what he liked and discard the rest.  But what I didn't realize until later was that he didn't send the file to me, but he SHARED the file with me on Googledocs . . . and I was changing the only copy that existed.  

That kind of overstepping is what got me in trouble when I collaborated on writing projects in the past, but seems to be something I've not grown out of.  Well, I hope he still goes through and keeps the stuff he likes and disregards the rest.

Push-ups Today: 111
Push-ups In December: 836

Words Today: 554
Words In December: 4250

Marshal and I Review KING SOLOMON'S MINES (1985)

Marshal Latham and I talk about 1985's KING SOLOMON'S MINES, starring Richard Chamberlin, Sharon Stone, and John Rhys-Davies.  How cheap a movie are we talking about?  How much of an Indiana Jones ripoff is it?  And will Marshal ever forgive me for making him sit through it?

Check out the review HERE.

And support Marshal's Patreon over HERE while you're at it.

November Sweeps - Day 675

I'll keep talking about Abbie's book, since it's on my mind so much.  Something else in my narration of the novella that is a challenge for me is the word "Hmm."  It comes up three times, and it's just hard for me to say, kind of like the word "hesitated."  But even so, if there were awards given out for do-it-yourself audio productions every year, I'd be sure to nail a nomination at least for "Lullaby."

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 700

I came to the library for the first time in what seemed like a while (I think it was just Saturday, though).  I haven't been writing much, just a bit here and there.  But that's okay.  I usually feel pretty worthless, believe me, but with how busy I currently am, I'm fine with only a few words every day.  I got through the first two chapters of Abbie's book, and realized I pronounced a character's name (So-fet) two different ways, over and over again.  I'll go back in and re-record those bits, but that's nothing compared to changing all the "its" to "his" in "Hatchling," and then changing my mind and doing it over.

I had pretty much planned on doing an entire month of daily podcasts in January, having started recording them in November (I think I have twenty or so on my hard drive).  But now I'm worried it was a stupid idea and a huge waste of time, that no one will listen to or enjoy.  It's funny to be so mentally impaired, isn't it?

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 725

My cousin and I watched another excellent episode of "Hawkeye."  I like that Jeremy Renner gets a chance to shine, and hope that other people are enjoying it too.  Not that it matters--do they even consider ratings on Disney+?  I'd imagine they have to, right?  But we don't know, do we, what's doing well and not doing well?

Words Today: 1236
Words In December: 3696

November Sweeps - Day 674

Let's see, what was I saying yesterday?  It was something about my conversation with Abigail Hilton about her novella "Lullaby."  

One thing that I'm doing on this one that I've never done before is voice a character who is dying, but has lots of inner monologue.  It occurred to me as I read it that I'd have to decide if the Dying Voice was the same as the Thinking Voice (if that makes any sense), and decided ultimately that the character's thoughts were healthy and vigorous, even if their voice was gasping and weak.  

There are differing opinions on how audiobooks should be narrated, but I'll go twelve rounds with anyone who doesn't like reverb on thoughts.*  Especially on a book like this, where Abbie doesn't say, "Arcove thought," or "thought Roup" after inner-monologue, you absolutely NEED a way to let the listener know that the character didn't just speak the line.  And the way I convey that is by an audio effect, and will do so until the day they pry my microphone out of my cold, dead hand.

She (Abbie) says her other narrator has a way of lowering her voice when it's a thought, so she doesn't need reverb, and that's pretty much what I'm doing with this dying character . . . but let's just agree to disagree on this one.  

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 600

Today was the last day in the Haslab Rancor fundraising campaign.  I could talk for an hour about it (and I definitely would, if poor Marshal wanted to sit and listen to it in a podcast sometime), but suffice it to say that I really wanted a huge, realistic Rancor Monster, but Hasbro botched it so thoroughly that I couldn't in good conscious back it.  And in the end, it fell just short of the nine thousand it had to sell to go into production, despite the company expecting to sell more than twenty thousand of them.

Thank goodness the brakes on my car are totally shot--and I have something else to spend that nearly four hundred dollars on. 

Push-ups Today: 100
Push-ups In December: 625

Words Today: 245
Words In December: 2460

*It's not as anathema as the clods who don't distinguish between male and female-voiced characters in their narration, but it's way up there.

November Sweeps - Day 673

It's the fifth of December, and you know what that means, kinders . . . it's Krampusnacht!

Boy, do I love Krampusnacht.  It's fun to say, it's fun to imagine celebrating, and it's fun to . . . a third thing!

If you're unwashed, Kampusnacht is the night of the year where, in certain European locales, the belief is that Krampus, St. Nicholas's dark companion, comes to punish the naughty boys and girls by whipping them with rods, sticking them in his basket or bag, and whisks them off to a land of (I presume) rampant woodshed activity.  Other cheery regions say he drags the children to the river to be drowned.  Some are a bit more sanguine, and say that he simply carts them off to Hell.

Krampus is a delightful, hairy fellow, with horns, hooves, a tail, and lolling tongue, and is probably the basis for the Christian devil.  The belief in him (and celebration of that folktale) has existed for centuries, coming back into favor in a major way the last twenty years or so.  

And every December 5th, most Alpine towns will have a little festival or parade, wherein people dress as the monstrous creature and attempt to scare the onlookers (and if there's no groping involved, well then, I have misunderstood human nature completely).  I would love to attend one of these things one day.* 

There were multiple photos I could have chosen, but this one said "wormland," and I couldn't resist.

In honor of this auspicious day, a wonderful toy company called the Four Horsemen announced a super limited edition six inch action figure of Krampus that was not only solely available on Krampusnacht, but for only a few minutes on Krampusnacht.  

nicht für Kinder!

My cousin wanted one so much, he set his alarm for seven am so he could order it.  Big Anklevich and I had to settle for the scraps that were available in the second window, beginning at eight pm Eastern.  And my cousin's the real winner in this unholy observance, since he snagged four of them, and they're already selling for two hundred dollars on eBay (this is not an exaggeration--in fact, it was $200 plus $10.50 shipping!).

There was a movie a couple of years back (it had a real GREMLINS feel, but had the disadvantage of not coming out in 1984), but to me, Krampus will always remind me of a commercial G4 put out, that Big Anklevich loved so much he put it in his permanent Christmas playlist (and his children still sing it every year).  Here you go:

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 500

In other news, I sat down with Abigail Hilton, as is our arrangement, after reading her novella, and talked to her about it, the various hard-to-pronounce words in the story, the ways I heard the characters in my mind.  She is remarkably savvy when it comes to her writing, able to remember who everyone is and whether they showed up in earlier texts (and whether they will become major players later on), and she has a real love for the "Hunters Unlucky" series, which I've been the sole narrator on.

She's got two more books already written in the series, and we'll talk again when this one is done whether I'll be the narrator on those or whether she'll give them to her other go-to narrator.**

Abbie is very protective of her work, and even though she's got another book series that is selling exceptionally well, she told me she writes this one because she loves the world and the characters.  The other series makes her money, but I suppose this one makes her happy.

I think I could learn something from that, except for that, at this stage of my life, I seem incapable of learning anything anymore.

Push-ups Today: 130
Push-ups In December: 525

Words Today: 1013
Words In December: 2215

*Although I did go to the West Hollywood Halloween parade, and saw Krampus-like dudes lurching about on stilts with scary masks, hooves, and engorged schnitzels.

**Have I talked about this before, that there are certain books that I'm absolutely born to narrate, and others where I'm not the best fit?  I'm currently reading "Abominable" by Dan Simmons, about attempts in the 1920's to summit Mount Rushmore, and I can't help but imagine how I would perform it if I were the narrator.  Of course, there are long stretches with French, German, and Tibetan languages being spoken, and there's no WAY I could manage something like that without sounding like a less-than-average middle-American dork.

November Sweeps - Day 672

Didn't have more than an hour at the library, and I wasted twenty minutes of it reading news articles.  But hey, such is life.

Sit-ups Today: 100
Sit-ups In December: 400

Push-ups Today: 130
Push-ups In December: 395

I wrote 170 words at the library, then I THOUGHT I had written some more that night . . . but I have no record of it.  Hmm.

Words Today: 170
Words In December: 1202

Rish Outcast 210: Cry Uncle

In this TMI show, I talk about my Uncle Len, who passed away.  I drone on about his funeral, and then share a new story in his memory, "Here With My Childhood Friend."

Note: The story is a sequel to "Who Can It Be Now?" which was presented in Episode 170 of the show. 

Download the episode HERE.

Support me on Patreon HERE.

Logo by Gino "My Adulthood Friend" Moretto.