This week, tyranist and I were able to catch three episodes, which was nice. Two "Angel"s and a "Buffy."
First up was "Blood Money," by Shawn Ryan (who wrote the second-to-last episode) and Mere Smith (who wrote the last episode).
In it, Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn are all bored without work to do,* and they decide to just create their own P.I. business, without Angel. Cordelia still gets visions, right? Like the one she has in this episode of a fire-breathing monster in the sewers that we never see.
Angel "accidentally" bumps into a blond woman named Anne who runs a shelter for wayward/runaway/troubled youths. She is attractive. It's funny, I commented to tyranist that Anne was Buffy's middle name, but I didn't make the connection that this was the same girl from the episode of the same name (who was also the second season chick who thought vampires were cool).
Well, it was no accident, as Angel seems to be stalking this woman, taking her picture, following her around, and stealing her wallet.
Suddenly, Angel and I seem more alike than ever before.
It turns out that Wolfram & Hart have befriended Anne (specifically Prettyboylawyer Lindsay McDonald), and are really excited about hosting a celebrity banquet to raise cash for the center.
Angel goes to interrogate Merl, a demon he's gone to before for information. He tells what he knows. Afterward, Angel goes to see Anne and convince her that W&H are up to no good, and will steal that money, either most or all of it. She doesn't believe him, and is less than enamoured when she finds out he's been following her, but he says he has proof.
A craggy-faced demon named Boone* shows up, asking about Angel (immediately, I thought he was the vampire hunter from that last unresolved flashback, but I was wrong), strongarming him to talk. Everybody strongarms Merl. He tells what he knows.
Angel shows up like a serial killer in Evillawyerwoman Lilah Morgan's back seat, seemingly just to toy with her. Boone also shows up at Wolfram & Hart, volunteering to kill Angel for them. They have a past, and he has a grudge, and even though the senior partners have decreed that Angel not be killed, Lindsay can't pass up the chance to have Angel out of the way.
Lindsay and Lilah drop in on Merl and threaten him. He tells what he knows.
Oh, looking in on our other main characters, having had a success in the offscreen confrontation with the firebreathing Rosie Perez, Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn decide to rent an office for their new business.
Lindsay also arrives, claiming that Angel is the baddie here (and pointing out that he's a vampire). Boone also shows up after a tussle, and Angel heads out the door.
Walking down the promenade, Lindsay and Lilah talk about Angel ruining their plans to bilk the shelter out of its money, and just as they start talking about their plans to kick blind people in the nuts and tear gas pet stores, they realise that Angel is probably recording them, gathering his so-called evidence. Whoops.
Angel does come back to Anne, and admits that he's a vampire, but one of the good ones. He tells her he has proof in the form of a videotape that he wants her to play at the fundraiser. She gives him a noncommittal answer and he tells her any cash from Wolfram & Hart is blood money. She says her people need that money.
The fundraiser appears to be a wild success. People, including soap opera stars, are donating generously, and a sweet/"sweet" tribute to Holland Manners is played. Evillawyerdude Lindsay has a hooded psychic in the wings to tell him if Angel shows up, but a few minutes later, the demon takes down his hood and is revealed to be Angel. Boone is also there, and they start to fight.
Anne decides to play the tape Angel gave her and Lindsay and Lilah make something of a scene rushing to stop it. Turns out, it's just another of Cordelia's awful audition tapes ("Duck, Magnum, duck!"), but the damage is done: everybody is looking at Lindsay and Lilah like they've shat their pants, including their boss.***
To make matters worse, Angel and Boone were just pretend fightin', and Boone has stolen all the event's donations.
Angel later confronts him and they fight for real. We don't see the fight, but Angel brings Anne the money, and it's got blood all over it. She gets to keep it all, and has no problem with it being blood money (quite literally, this time). The end.
This episode was a little uneven, but very entertaining. I like the darker, solo Angel. I surprises me they've kept it going this way so long, but I'm happy with it. We also find out in this episode that the reason Wolfram & Hart doesn't want Angel killed is because he has a major role to play (for good or ill) in the coming Armageddon.
So, then we got to our Buffy episode. It's interesting how certain "Buffy"s are better than their accompanying "Angel"s, and sometimes the opposite is true. I guess that means they've split the creative team pretty equally (if one show were consistently good and the other consistently crap, well, someone picked teams wrong)
The episode was called "Blood Ties" (wow, "Blood Money" and "Blood Ties," was that a coincidence?), by someone named Steven S. DeKnight. I looked him up. He's written five "Buffy"s and twelve "Angel"s, but this was his first (he also went on to write fifteen "Smallville" episodes too).
The conversation continues from last week's show (sans English bastards, however). Glory the Blond Beast is the god of a demon dimension (a hellgod, they call her), and she's in human form, sucking the sanity out of humans to keep her body. Yes, just like Demi Moore, kids. When the gang is worried about finding the key, Buffy decides to tell them all about Dawn being . . . whatever Dawn is.
Oh, this was a Dawn episode. Tyranist and I both really like her.
Due to this knowledge, the group all treat Dawn differently. Anya tells her she makes "a very pretty little girl." Giles has been writing his innermost thoughts in a notebook ("I feel terrible about it, but I find Christina Cole more attractive in that 'Buffy' rip-off than Buffy herself..."), but he hides it in a drawer when Dawn walks by.
Glory gets ahold of the Knights of the Bungpoolpottinghamnottingshire and kills or sanity drains them. More will come, though, apparently. This makes me sad.
Oh, I forgot, it's Buffy's twentieth birthday. And I didn't get her anything. She has a little get-together, and when Dawn gives her a picture of them from a vacation that never happened, everyone starts acting weird again. Dawn goes up to her room, and sneaks out the window.
She finds Spike standing in the front yard as usual, holding a box of chocolates for somebody. When Dawn takes off to steal Giles's notebook, Spike decides to go with her to protect the girl from rapists and vampires and Margot Kidder and stuff.
They break into the Magic Box, and read Giles's diary entry together. This is how Dawn finds out she's not really Dawn Summers, and that Giles refers to her as "The Key," and that crazy people know the truth about her, and that snakes want to eat her,
and that Glory wants to kill her, and that she gets paid less than all the other cast members.
She takes this badly. The first thing she does is go home and cut herself with a knife. How can she bleed if she's not real? The poor girl throws an absolute fit, throwing things, and screaming, and tearing up her diaries, and burning them in the trashcan. Seriously, it's like me when they canceled "The Single Guy" with Jonathan Silverman.
Buffy is mad at Spike, but he tells her she would've gone without him and hey . . . Margot Kidder? Buffy hears the smoke alarm going off due to Dawn's unusual bonfire, and finds that the girl has gone out the window again.****
Dawn goes to the hospital, to talk to crazy people about her origins. She finds one of the Knights of the B-word there and he says crazy stuff we don't really understand ("...she played Lois Lane once, but she was lurking in the backyard with no teeth"). Handsome intern Ben finds her and she tells him about being a Key. Maybe not the wisest course of action, because he tells her to run before Glory gets there. In a bizarre turn, Glory arrives THROUGH Ben's body, transforming from him into her.
She doesn't know what they've been talking about, though, and threatens Dawn to tell her what's happening. Dawn asks her questions about this Key she's searching for, but Glory realises the girl is seeking information rather than knowing it. She decides to suck out Dawn's sanity, but Buffy arrives just in time.
She punches Glory a couple of times, and the Blond Beast mocks her about it. Spike also tries to fight Glory, but it's Willow and Tara who are really the threat to her: they cast a spell Scotty-beaming her to another place.
It would be nice if she sent Glory to the world without shrimp, or wherever Vin Diesel's career went. But I have a feeling we'll see her again, and soon.
Dawn tells Buffy that Glory arrived while she was talking to Ben, but seems to remember him leaving and Glory coming in afterward, not how it really happened. Both of them injured, Buffy shows Dawn that they share the same blood, and that makes them sisters as much as anything else. The end.
I really enjoyed this one too. The girl (Dawn/Michelle Trachtenenenburger) is great, and I honestly do not know how they manage to present her as a believably willfull rebellious teen without making her a spoiled, infuriating, shrill, unsympathetic, self-absorbed, unwatchable little choad like teenagers in other media (like DAN IN REAL LIFE, or several sitcoms, or WAR OF THE WORLDS, or practically every other teen drama on the WB before or after). I gotta hand it Joss once again, and will continue to do so until something changes.
You know, it's hard for me to avoid spoilers, especially for a show that's been off the air for a couple of years. Mostly, they come from the internet, and I found out about Tara from a certain Joss Whedon himself, but tyranist gave me one (that may or may not have actually been a spoiler) during tonight's show. He told me that Handsome Doctor/Intern/Male Nurse Ben is Glory's brother, and also a god. When I bawled about the spoilage, he told me the show had already revealed that, and to kindly keep the mucus off his new couch. It may be that Ben's identity HAS already been revealed on the show (it certainly was in the episode we watched), but I hadn't caught it yet. Ah well.
Next he's gonna tell me that Dawn's not really Buffy's sister or that Buffy married Freddie Prinze Junior or something. Grain of salt, boys.
Last, we watched "Happy Anniversary," an "Angel" episode quite unlike the others. It was written by show runner David Greenwalt, and it felt like a pilot for another spinoff show to me (to both of us, actually), though I can't imagine that it was.
Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn have a new office and no cases. After a while, Wesley's girlfriend Virginia shows up and tells them about a case they could take. But that's the B-story.
A-Story: Lorne the destiny-reading karaoke bar host goes to Angel's hotel and tells him that there was a nerdy human singing the night before, and when he looked into the guy, he saw that the world will be ending pronto. Spider-man is out of town, so he came to Angel for help.
The end of the world singer is named Gene, and he seems like a geeky graduate student/physicist, except that he has a really attractive red-haired girlfriend.
It is their first anniversary that night, but she confides in a friend that she's going to break up with Gene because . . . I don't honestly remember. Was it that he wasn't dedicated enough to her or something? I could look it up, but then I'd have to figure out her name too and dammit, that's just too much work.
The girlfriend will sleep with Gene one last time, then drop the bomb on him. Unbeknownst to them, Gene has heard all this and heads off to work on his experiment again.
We also follow Angel and Lorne around karaoke bars, a college campus, a Pez dispenser repair shop, and a library, to track Gene down. Shockingly, they insinuate that Lorne is not gay in this episode. I have nothing worth saying about this turn.
The show seems to be more about Gene than anything else (along with a cast of supporting characters), which is why I said it seemed like the setup for a spin-off show.
Anyway, Gene has been working on this experiment that should freeze time in a bubble, but he can't quite get the formula right. Turns out there are a couple of demons that want humanity wiped out, and they change Gene's formula so that it will work.
In a jiffy (nobody says that anymore, isn't that sad?), Gene's device is fully functional, and he decides that he'll take his equipment back to his place and create a time bubble around the two of them together, thus keeping the status quo forever. This is every man's dream, folks. The status quo part, I mean (though the red-haired girlfriend in your bed part isn't far off). It is this time-freezing that will cause the end of the world.
Back on the Wesley/Cordelia/Gunn front, they have to stop a demon that's tormenting a very rich family. They do, and Wesley figures out that one of the family members employed the demon to do her dirty work. The Angel-less team does well for themselves.
The demons harass Angel and he and Lorne talk about the issues in his life right now (such as firing his staff, and the Darla stuff, and the bad dream he had that he'd be on a Fox show called "Bones" that was just like fifteen other shows on the air right now). They rush to Gene's place to stop him, but more demons show up and they have to fight them.
In bed with the woman he loves, Gene activates his device, and
the bubble appears around them. But then it expands, and threatens to envelop the whole world. Angel gets past the demons and stops the machine just in time. Time reasserts itself and Gene is distraught at almost ending the world. I guess his girlfriend still breaks up with him, but I don't really remember. The spin-off never got off the ground.
Back on the B-story, over at the All New, All Different Angel Investigations, a celebratory party is going on. A new client comes in during all this and needs their help. He asks which one of them is Angel, and Wesley says, "Oh, it's just a name."
Great ending. Tyranist and I have talked (okay, I talked, he just laid there, trying not to be sick) about how well these episodes seem to end, usually with a great line (sometimes funny, sometimes pretty darn sad), and then a black screen. I hope my life ends that way. And soon.
Although this was one of my poorer (and sillier) recaps, I can't really express to you how much I've enjoyed watching "Buff-gel." I'd say it was the highpoint of each week, but that's an exaggeration. There are no highpoints in my weeks.
Almost a tradition now, Tyranist always tells me "I'm going to kick you out now" at the end of our Buffy Wednesdays together. I'd find that amusing if it didn't end so often with a knee, shoe, or fist to the groin.
Rish "Midpoint of Your Week" Outfield
*Wait, doesn't Cordelia have an unrealistic acting career, and Gunn, doesn't he have cool urban gang stuff on his plate?
**I didn't realise it at the time, but Boone is played by Mark Rolston, who portrayed Drake in ALIENS and Boggs ("Boggs didn't put anything in Andy's mouth") in SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION.
***I guess it gets them in trouble, but I didn't find their behaviour much more embarrassing than regular party antics.
****My little sister used to do this all the time (the window, not the bonfire), but I hope Dawn doesn't come back with a little Dawn nine months after all this.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Depp!
Tyranist and I went to see SWEENEY TODD the other day. It might have even been the day after Christmas (my dog, has it been a year already?) and I asked him to give me his top five Johnny Depp movies.
Then he reminded me that I had already asked him that, and forwarded me the old email where I did so.
I never posted it here, so I guess I will now (I'll ask the usual suspects for theirs as well).
My list goes like:
1. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse o' the Black Pearl
2. Nightmare on Elm Street
3. Corpse Bride
4. Sleepy Hollow
5. Finding Neverland
Tyranist said:
1. Nightmare on Elm Street
2. Edward Scissorhands
3. Once Upon a Time in Mexico
4. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
5. From Hell
My cousin Ryan wrote:
I've only seen three movies He's been in - can you guess which?
1. Pirates 1
2. Pirates 2
3. Pirates 3
Prison Guard Johnny gave me this list:
1. Sleepy Hollow
2. Chocolat
3. Pirates of the Carribean
4. The Astronauts Wife
5. Sweeny Todd(I had to at least rank this one at five)
Merrill had this to say:
1. Edward Scissorhands
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (Not any of the others)
3. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
4. Benny & Joon
5. 21 Jump Street (which shouldn't count, but I'll allow it anyway)
Bigshot lawyer Ian said:
1. What's Eating Gilbert Grape
2. Edward Scissorhands
3. Pirates of the Caribbean
4. Nightmare On Elm Street
5. Benny & Joon
Next up: Top Five Richard Grieco movies!
Rish Deppfield
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Buffy Wednesday (4 January 2008)
This should be a quick and easy post. I won't even charge you my usual fee.
The last "Angel" we saw was called "Redefinition," and was written by someone named Mere Smith. She wrote the earlier show about the telekinetic abused girl ”Untouched," and went on to write a couple of episodes of "Rome" I just saw.
This aired on the same night as the "Buffy" episode that obviously took place weeks since the one before it, yet this one takes place the same night as the last "Angel." Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn have all been fired, and two of them are seriously bummed out about it.
Cordelia goes home to her ghost, Wesley goes home to Virgina from the "Guise Will Be Guise" episode, and Gunn goes home to, his ho's*, I suppose.
Angel stews in his unpleasant feelings, burning all the drawings he apparently did of Darla. He then starts working out and training, presumably for a long, long time.
Over at Holland Manner's (R.I.P.) house, the cops and paramedics find two survivors. Big surprise, they're Lindsay McDonald and Lilah Morgan. You know, I can understand Darla (and Drusilla, to a lesser extent) letting Lindsay live, since he was their ally and may yet be of some use to them. But now, being the only survivors, they know that one of them will be made the scapegoat for what happened by the mucky-mucks at Wolfram & Hart.
Wondering what to do next, Wesley goes to Caritas, the demon karaoke bar, and runs into Cordelia there. And Gunn too. Yeah, he strikes me as a real karaoke fan (his "Even the Nights Are Better" will bring a tear to your eye). They sing so Lorne can read their destinies.
Lilah goes to Lindsay to convince him to safeguard their lives by blackmailing the firm with whatever dirt he's collected. He sticks his hand in her blouse and pulls out a microphone, having anticipated her treachery (I believe I worked with Lilah's little sister at an office in Culver City).
Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn all end up getting hammered and singing "We Are the Champions" together. Lorne doesn't really give us much to work with, but Cordelia gets a vision and they have to go save a girl from a demon. They do.
Angel goes out to confront Darla & Drusilla (I gotta come up with an unclever combination of their names for the future, something like Darsilla) and finds them recruiting a vampire gang. He retreats but comes back later and kills all the minions, pouring gasoline throughout their factory hangout.
When Darla and Drusilla return, they find Angel there, smoking a cigarette. He tosses it into the gas and the girls go up like Michael Jackson's hair.** I was impressed by that but Darla knocks open a fire hydrant and puts them out.
Still, pretty darn cold-blooded, but still likable, in that Joss Whedon "Firefly" sort of way.
It turns out that Lindsay and Lilah are both promoted, sharing Holland Manners' job. Seems like neither one is the scapegoat. Or maybe Wolfram & Hart wants to set them against each other, to see which one will come out victorious.
Wesley lets Angel know that they are doing what they can to fight the good fight, even without Angel. Angel doesn't say much about that, except that they're welcome to do it. He has a fight of his own. The end.
The episode was quite good, if only for the really dark, really tough Angel. We saw what a positive influence Buffy's friends were on keeping her centered and keeping her human in that great episode "The Wish." I do wonder how human Angel's friends/partners keep him, and if their absence will mean something for him.
Not that I believe for one minute that they'll be separated for long. TV just doesn't work that way.
Does it?
Anyhow, during the week between Christmas and New Year's, tyranist and I had one of our traditional holiday marathons, but instead of stacks of awful horror movies or a half dozen episodes of Joss Whedon TV, we watched "Veronica Mars" instead. I stand by my earlier statement that I should not like the show, but for some reason that's alien to me, I simply do.
But tyranist and I did manage to get one "Buffy" in this week. It was called "Checkpoint," written by Doug Petrie and Jane Espenson (I wonder how that works, when usually solo writers team up on a show).
Giles tells the gang that members of the Watchers Council, including their head stick in the mud, Quentin Travers, will be coming to Sunnydale to tell them what they have learned about Glory, the Blond Beast. Buffy is understandably frustrated that they're coming all the way across the pond, and we do have to wonder what they've ever done that was worth a damn, except maybe pair Giles with Buffy.
Meanwhile, in her hideout, something is wrong with Glory. She seems to be dying. Now she's got two demon servants, and they bring her a postman. She sticks her fingers somehow into his head, and receives nourishment that way. When she's done, she's perfectly fine, and the postman is dazed and seems lost. Whatever happened to her is because she hasn't found the key yet, and she tells them Buffy won't be able to protect it much longer.
We see Buffy in class for the first time since . . . easily last season. But the more things change, the more of a douche Buffy's professors are. This one chooses to single her out and mock her for wondering if Rasputin was indeed impossible to kill, as many believed.
That night, Buffy takes out her frustrations on a vampire in the cemetery, but Spike shows up and stakes the vampire. He thinks he's saved her and she'll be grateful, but if anything, it sours her mood even more.
So, Quentin Travers and a gaggle of snooty English Watchers arrives, interrupting Giles's business at Magic Shop, and announcing that they are in charge now. They have information about Glory, but won't tell it to Buffy (and Giles) until she passes a series of tests, to determine, I suppose, if she is worthy of the their info.
Immediately, this infuriated me. And Buffy herself is not thrilled to hear this, so Travers threatens to deport Giles if she doesn't cooperate with this review of theirs (he might even have added that they'd take all his magic books and have a big bonfire out in the yard, and dance around it like wild injuns, but I could be wrong). The Council commences interviewing Anya, Xander, Willow, Anya, and even Spike about Buffy's behaviour and their relationship to her.
The questions are all slanted so they'll either make the gang members seem useless, or make it sound like Buffy is so incompetant she needs their help.
At this point, or maybe it was earlier, I told tyranist to stop the DVD and railed about how irritating and pointless this crap was.
So, they don't like Buffy or her methods. So, they want her to jump through some rings to determine if she merits finding out what they know. They act as though there's someone else--maybe many someones--who can stop Glory, who has abilities like Buffy does. If there isn't, and not counting Faith, there certainly doesn't seem to be, then wouldn't they want to prepare Buffy as best they could to take this new threat out? Doesn't Glory threaten their existence too?
I told tyranist that if they have such a problem with Buffy, so much doubt in her, they should just pull out a gun and shoot her, then start training up another Slayer.
He told me this wouldn't work, that Faith is the "In every generation..." Slayer now (since Buffy has already died), but it didn't make me any less angry.
They also give Buffy a physical test, where they blindfold her and tell her to protect a dummy from their attacks. Buffy accidentally kills the dummy, and I'll be darned if these smug a-holes aren't pleased with her failure.
Buffy goes home, and finds Glory waiting for her. Glory gives her this little "I'm so tough and you're so weak" speech that I used to hear a lot in gym classes, then leaves, but threatens to kill Buffy's mother and sister if she doesn't give up the location of the key. Buffy is understandably upset by this . . . so upset that she takes Joyce and Dawn to Spike's crypt and puts him in charge of their safekeeping.
It seems to me that that's like taking Tweety Bird away from Sylvester and putting him in the care of Wyle E. Coyote, but I love Spike, so I'm okay with it.
Buffy heads through one of Sunnydale's myriad alleys, and is jumped by a bunch of . . . ninjas? She (nicely) beats them up and interrogates one. He turns out to be a human being, part of some group called The Knights of Byzantium (I wouldn't have bothered looking up the name except that I'm sure they will be important in future episodes, so there you go), who are also seeking the Key. These dudes want to destroy it, though, to prevent it from falling into the wrong hands.
The bloke tells Buffy that there are hundreds of such knights and they'll surely thwart her 'cause she's, like, a girl and stuff.
Buffy goes back to the magic shop and tells all the Council members to shut up and listen to her. She gives a speech about how she has been treated by them, by Glory, by everyone. They tell her how weak she is, how inept, how careless, how ignorant, how inexperienced, but the truth is, they all need her for something. She has the real power in all this, and the damn test is over. Here, here.
She also points out that though they mock Xander for his "contributions" to the cause, he has clocked more field time than all of them put together. Here, here.
She tells Travers to tell her what they know, give Giles his old Watcher job back (including all the paychecks he should have had all along), and start acting like they're on the same team.
Travers agrees, and the first thing he tells them about Glory is that she's not just another demon. She's a god, in fact. The end.
Another fine episode, even though it made me madder than a long look in a mirror. To be honest, though, I was really struggling with it early on, afraid that we'd reached the first truly lousy episode of Season Five. The first act was just weak. In the end, however, I was happy with the last half, and certainly wanted to go on to the next one, so I suppose they did their jobs.
Tyranist revealed that he had figured out Glory was a god several episodes back, but had been kind enough not to share that with me. I've been a few steps behind, still reeling from the revelation that Alexis Denisof isn't English, but has a wussy little nasal American voice in real life. Shudder.
Somehow we had the strength not to watch another "Buffy" episode, though I can't remember why not right now (I think maybe I had rented a video, so we were obligated to watch it. I think maybe also that that video really sucked. Whoops).
I'll see if I can get to more next time.
Rish Nigel Outfield
*If only Dan Quayle were here to tell me if there's an e in "hoes."
**Sorry about the dated reference (and the equally dated Dan Quayle reference before it), but I didn't get this long white beard by skinny dipping in the fountain of youth.
The last "Angel" we saw was called "Redefinition," and was written by someone named Mere Smith. She wrote the earlier show about the telekinetic abused girl ”Untouched," and went on to write a couple of episodes of "Rome" I just saw.
This aired on the same night as the "Buffy" episode that obviously took place weeks since the one before it, yet this one takes place the same night as the last "Angel." Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn have all been fired, and two of them are seriously bummed out about it.
Cordelia goes home to her ghost, Wesley goes home to Virgina from the "Guise Will Be Guise" episode, and Gunn goes home to, his ho's*, I suppose.
Angel stews in his unpleasant feelings, burning all the drawings he apparently did of Darla. He then starts working out and training, presumably for a long, long time.
Over at Holland Manner's (R.I.P.) house, the cops and paramedics find two survivors. Big surprise, they're Lindsay McDonald and Lilah Morgan. You know, I can understand Darla (and Drusilla, to a lesser extent) letting Lindsay live, since he was their ally and may yet be of some use to them. But now, being the only survivors, they know that one of them will be made the scapegoat for what happened by the mucky-mucks at Wolfram & Hart.
Wondering what to do next, Wesley goes to Caritas, the demon karaoke bar, and runs into Cordelia there. And Gunn too. Yeah, he strikes me as a real karaoke fan (his "Even the Nights Are Better" will bring a tear to your eye). They sing so Lorne can read their destinies.
Lilah goes to Lindsay to convince him to safeguard their lives by blackmailing the firm with whatever dirt he's collected. He sticks his hand in her blouse and pulls out a microphone, having anticipated her treachery (I believe I worked with Lilah's little sister at an office in Culver City).
Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn all end up getting hammered and singing "We Are the Champions" together. Lorne doesn't really give us much to work with, but Cordelia gets a vision and they have to go save a girl from a demon. They do.
Angel goes out to confront Darla & Drusilla (I gotta come up with an unclever combination of their names for the future, something like Darsilla) and finds them recruiting a vampire gang. He retreats but comes back later and kills all the minions, pouring gasoline throughout their factory hangout.
When Darla and Drusilla return, they find Angel there, smoking a cigarette. He tosses it into the gas and the girls go up like Michael Jackson's hair.** I was impressed by that but Darla knocks open a fire hydrant and puts them out.
Still, pretty darn cold-blooded, but still likable, in that Joss Whedon "Firefly" sort of way.
It turns out that Lindsay and Lilah are both promoted, sharing Holland Manners' job. Seems like neither one is the scapegoat. Or maybe Wolfram & Hart wants to set them against each other, to see which one will come out victorious.
Wesley lets Angel know that they are doing what they can to fight the good fight, even without Angel. Angel doesn't say much about that, except that they're welcome to do it. He has a fight of his own. The end.
The episode was quite good, if only for the really dark, really tough Angel. We saw what a positive influence Buffy's friends were on keeping her centered and keeping her human in that great episode "The Wish." I do wonder how human Angel's friends/partners keep him, and if their absence will mean something for him.
Not that I believe for one minute that they'll be separated for long. TV just doesn't work that way.
Does it?
Anyhow, during the week between Christmas and New Year's, tyranist and I had one of our traditional holiday marathons, but instead of stacks of awful horror movies or a half dozen episodes of Joss Whedon TV, we watched "Veronica Mars" instead. I stand by my earlier statement that I should not like the show, but for some reason that's alien to me, I simply do.
But tyranist and I did manage to get one "Buffy" in this week. It was called "Checkpoint," written by Doug Petrie and Jane Espenson (I wonder how that works, when usually solo writers team up on a show).
Giles tells the gang that members of the Watchers Council, including their head stick in the mud, Quentin Travers, will be coming to Sunnydale to tell them what they have learned about Glory, the Blond Beast. Buffy is understandably frustrated that they're coming all the way across the pond, and we do have to wonder what they've ever done that was worth a damn, except maybe pair Giles with Buffy.
Meanwhile, in her hideout, something is wrong with Glory. She seems to be dying. Now she's got two demon servants, and they bring her a postman. She sticks her fingers somehow into his head, and receives nourishment that way. When she's done, she's perfectly fine, and the postman is dazed and seems lost. Whatever happened to her is because she hasn't found the key yet, and she tells them Buffy won't be able to protect it much longer.
We see Buffy in class for the first time since . . . easily last season. But the more things change, the more of a douche Buffy's professors are. This one chooses to single her out and mock her for wondering if Rasputin was indeed impossible to kill, as many believed.
That night, Buffy takes out her frustrations on a vampire in the cemetery, but Spike shows up and stakes the vampire. He thinks he's saved her and she'll be grateful, but if anything, it sours her mood even more.
So, Quentin Travers and a gaggle of snooty English Watchers arrives, interrupting Giles's business at Magic Shop, and announcing that they are in charge now. They have information about Glory, but won't tell it to Buffy (and Giles) until she passes a series of tests, to determine, I suppose, if she is worthy of the their info.
Immediately, this infuriated me. And Buffy herself is not thrilled to hear this, so Travers threatens to deport Giles if she doesn't cooperate with this review of theirs (he might even have added that they'd take all his magic books and have a big bonfire out in the yard, and dance around it like wild injuns, but I could be wrong). The Council commences interviewing Anya, Xander, Willow, Anya, and even Spike about Buffy's behaviour and their relationship to her.
The questions are all slanted so they'll either make the gang members seem useless, or make it sound like Buffy is so incompetant she needs their help.
At this point, or maybe it was earlier, I told tyranist to stop the DVD and railed about how irritating and pointless this crap was.
So, they don't like Buffy or her methods. So, they want her to jump through some rings to determine if she merits finding out what they know. They act as though there's someone else--maybe many someones--who can stop Glory, who has abilities like Buffy does. If there isn't, and not counting Faith, there certainly doesn't seem to be, then wouldn't they want to prepare Buffy as best they could to take this new threat out? Doesn't Glory threaten their existence too?
I told tyranist that if they have such a problem with Buffy, so much doubt in her, they should just pull out a gun and shoot her, then start training up another Slayer.
He told me this wouldn't work, that Faith is the "In every generation..." Slayer now (since Buffy has already died), but it didn't make me any less angry.
They also give Buffy a physical test, where they blindfold her and tell her to protect a dummy from their attacks. Buffy accidentally kills the dummy, and I'll be darned if these smug a-holes aren't pleased with her failure.
Buffy goes home, and finds Glory waiting for her. Glory gives her this little "I'm so tough and you're so weak" speech that I used to hear a lot in gym classes, then leaves, but threatens to kill Buffy's mother and sister if she doesn't give up the location of the key. Buffy is understandably upset by this . . . so upset that she takes Joyce and Dawn to Spike's crypt and puts him in charge of their safekeeping.
It seems to me that that's like taking Tweety Bird away from Sylvester and putting him in the care of Wyle E. Coyote, but I love Spike, so I'm okay with it.
Buffy heads through one of Sunnydale's myriad alleys, and is jumped by a bunch of . . . ninjas? She (nicely) beats them up and interrogates one. He turns out to be a human being, part of some group called The Knights of Byzantium (I wouldn't have bothered looking up the name except that I'm sure they will be important in future episodes, so there you go), who are also seeking the Key. These dudes want to destroy it, though, to prevent it from falling into the wrong hands.
The bloke tells Buffy that there are hundreds of such knights and they'll surely thwart her 'cause she's, like, a girl and stuff.
Buffy goes back to the magic shop and tells all the Council members to shut up and listen to her. She gives a speech about how she has been treated by them, by Glory, by everyone. They tell her how weak she is, how inept, how careless, how ignorant, how inexperienced, but the truth is, they all need her for something. She has the real power in all this, and the damn test is over. Here, here.
She also points out that though they mock Xander for his "contributions" to the cause, he has clocked more field time than all of them put together. Here, here.
She tells Travers to tell her what they know, give Giles his old Watcher job back (including all the paychecks he should have had all along), and start acting like they're on the same team.
Travers agrees, and the first thing he tells them about Glory is that she's not just another demon. She's a god, in fact. The end.
Another fine episode, even though it made me madder than a long look in a mirror. To be honest, though, I was really struggling with it early on, afraid that we'd reached the first truly lousy episode of Season Five. The first act was just weak. In the end, however, I was happy with the last half, and certainly wanted to go on to the next one, so I suppose they did their jobs.
Tyranist revealed that he had figured out Glory was a god several episodes back, but had been kind enough not to share that with me. I've been a few steps behind, still reeling from the revelation that Alexis Denisof isn't English, but has a wussy little nasal American voice in real life. Shudder.
Somehow we had the strength not to watch another "Buffy" episode, though I can't remember why not right now (I think maybe I had rented a video, so we were obligated to watch it. I think maybe also that that video really sucked. Whoops).
I'll see if I can get to more next time.
Rish Nigel Outfield
*If only Dan Quayle were here to tell me if there's an e in "hoes."
**Sorry about the dated reference (and the equally dated Dan Quayle reference before it), but I didn't get this long white beard by skinny dipping in the fountain of youth.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Top Five . . . wait, who?
I was watching DAS BOOT tonight for the very first time. It was the Director's Cut, and it was extraordinarily long. About a third of the way through, I thought it would be fun to see what everybody's Top Five Jürgen Prochnow films were.Unfortunately, when it came time to do my list, I could only think of DAS BOOT. Tyranist reminded me he was in BEERFEST, but I doubt that will make my list.
Tyranist's list was:
1. Dune
2. Beverly Hills Cop II
3. Air Force One
4. The Da Vinci Code
5. In the Mouth of Madness
My cousin Ryan wrote:
Who with the what?
A minute later, he sent me another email, where he admitted to looking Prochnow up to see what films he had done, but claimed not to have seen them. He ended his email with "The sleeper has awakened!" which tyranist suggested should count as a vote for DUNE.
I invited my lawyer friend Ian to participate for the first time, and almost immediately, he gave me:
1. Das Boot
2. Beverly Hills Cop 2
3. Air Force One
4. Judge Dredd
5. The English Patient
Jeff, my fiend back in California, wrote:
1. Das Boot
2. Dune
3. The Keep (Nazi soldiers in an old castle/fortress that hid some demonic force).
4. DaVinci Code.
5. Air Force 1
Sorry, but I'm going to have to look him up. It's only fair.
I guess, thinking it over (and waiting until the end of the movie to compile it), my list would have to be:
1. AIR FORCE ONE
2. THE DA VINCI CODE
3. DAS BOOT
4. IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS
5. TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME
So, if we tally the votes up, it appears the winners were:1. DAS BOOT
2. AIR FORCE ONE
3. DUNE
4./5. BEVERLY HILLS COP 2/DA VINCI CODE (tie)
This is difficult, sweaty work, kids. Next time, I'll pick someone less obscure. Like Wendy Joe Sperber.
Rish "Das Butt" Outfield
New Year's
On my drive with my uncle the other day, he kept talking about how good the new year was shaping up to be. "It's all great in Oh-Eight," he said more than once. Now, whether he was told this by a Gypsy woman or found it in a fortune cookie or is just chanting it as a mantra to will it into being, I don't know, but wouldn't it be nice if '08 was a great year?
My friend Merrill set some resolutions for himself, the chief one being to get a better job. Tyranist has resolved to Spend Money As Though He Were Very Poor. My mom wants to lose ten pounds. My friend Matthew said something about wanting orgasms that last fifteen minutes. My cousin Ryan has vowed to spend less money on toys, so he'll have more money later on to spend on toys. And my little brother's resolved to leave better clues at murder scenes so the police can finally catch him.
But what about me?
I could do the old stand-by and resolve to Write More, or Finish That Pesky ______ I haven't completed, or Exercise More Than Once This Year, but I always resolve to do those.
And look at me, I'm unwritten, unfinished, and fat.
Which reminds me, my cousin and I were talking about the movies about the writers' strike and he said, "Didn't you go out to L.A. to write for the movies? What . . . what the hell happened with that?"
Okay, I'm paraphrasing, but it's the coked-up elephant trunk-molesting in the room, I guess, whenever anybody talks to me (you see my son making out with the older gentleman at the party and lean in and say, "Didn't you say you really wanted grandchildren one time?"), but I flopped uncontrollably on the ground for a minute before my cousin, sensing the awkwardness, moved the conversation to another subject.
But okay, I think I can at least manage five resolutions. The first one was easy, since I made it a couple of weeks ago. I resolved to blog more in 2008. Not just here, in my embarrassing public blog, but in my private, yet still just as embarrassing personal blog, where I talk about how great it will be to get a driver's licence, and how mean a teacher Mr. Quadlist is and how dreamy the girls on "Just the Ten of Us" are. But hopefully, that will mean more posts here too, and not just badly-recounted "Buffy" episodes.
And speaking of which, I do resolve to get through all the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episodes in 2008, as well as the entire run of "Angel." I also resolve to buy that boffo gold "Twin Peaks" boxed set and try to get tyranist to watch them all with me. Heck, I could even do "Twin Peaks Tuesdays" posts and blog about the episodes . . . except that I won't.
I recently had computer problems and lost a great deal of data on my old system. I hereby resolve to do a backup of my important files every single month. Maybe there's a way to program my computer to remind me each month (though I don't know how that would be). Donations are being accepted for some kind of external hard drive to back things up on (if I'd had one of those, we might have had an HFC update since Halloween).
I really ought to echo Merrill and resolve to get a better job in 2008 (I'm not thrilled with my current one, which sometimes involves shooting Chinamen for the railroad). So there's that.
But as far as lofty, impressive, noble resolutions go, I just don't know. When someone's life has gone as off track as mine has, it may not be possible to steer it back in a easterly direction. I may not be able to move the vehicle in any direction. Maybe I should just get out and look around and say, "Well, this is where I'm gonna stay."
Of course, I'm more than a little insane, so I don't know what I'm talking about.
Rish "It's All Late in 2008" Outfield
My friend Merrill set some resolutions for himself, the chief one being to get a better job. Tyranist has resolved to Spend Money As Though He Were Very Poor. My mom wants to lose ten pounds. My friend Matthew said something about wanting orgasms that last fifteen minutes. My cousin Ryan has vowed to spend less money on toys, so he'll have more money later on to spend on toys. And my little brother's resolved to leave better clues at murder scenes so the police can finally catch him.
But what about me?
I could do the old stand-by and resolve to Write More, or Finish That Pesky ______ I haven't completed, or Exercise More Than Once This Year, but I always resolve to do those.
And look at me, I'm unwritten, unfinished, and fat.
Which reminds me, my cousin and I were talking about the movies about the writers' strike and he said, "Didn't you go out to L.A. to write for the movies? What . . . what the hell happened with that?"
Okay, I'm paraphrasing, but it's the coked-up elephant trunk-molesting in the room, I guess, whenever anybody talks to me (you see my son making out with the older gentleman at the party and lean in and say, "Didn't you say you really wanted grandchildren one time?"), but I flopped uncontrollably on the ground for a minute before my cousin, sensing the awkwardness, moved the conversation to another subject.
But okay, I think I can at least manage five resolutions. The first one was easy, since I made it a couple of weeks ago. I resolved to blog more in 2008. Not just here, in my embarrassing public blog, but in my private, yet still just as embarrassing personal blog, where I talk about how great it will be to get a driver's licence, and how mean a teacher Mr. Quadlist is and how dreamy the girls on "Just the Ten of Us" are. But hopefully, that will mean more posts here too, and not just badly-recounted "Buffy" episodes.
And speaking of which, I do resolve to get through all the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" episodes in 2008, as well as the entire run of "Angel." I also resolve to buy that boffo gold "Twin Peaks" boxed set and try to get tyranist to watch them all with me. Heck, I could even do "Twin Peaks Tuesdays" posts and blog about the episodes . . . except that I won't.
I recently had computer problems and lost a great deal of data on my old system. I hereby resolve to do a backup of my important files every single month. Maybe there's a way to program my computer to remind me each month (though I don't know how that would be). Donations are being accepted for some kind of external hard drive to back things up on (if I'd had one of those, we might have had an HFC update since Halloween).
I really ought to echo Merrill and resolve to get a better job in 2008 (I'm not thrilled with my current one, which sometimes involves shooting Chinamen for the railroad). So there's that.
But as far as lofty, impressive, noble resolutions go, I just don't know. When someone's life has gone as off track as mine has, it may not be possible to steer it back in a easterly direction. I may not be able to move the vehicle in any direction. Maybe I should just get out and look around and say, "Well, this is where I'm gonna stay."
Of course, I'm more than a little insane, so I don't know what I'm talking about.
Rish "It's All Late in 2008" Outfield
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Stupid Thing of the Week
I have a couple of turtles I bought with me from Los Angeles. They're easy to take care of and occasionally fun to have around. Two nights ago, my niece was over for New Year's. I asked if she wanted to feed the turtles, and she agreed.
She went over to their habitat and said, "Uh oh. One of them is dead."
That was bad news, so I came over, but of the three turtles, two were swimming and the other was sitting on the rocks. "They're slower in the winter, just sleepy," I told her.
"Too bad," she said, "Poor dead turtle."
But it clearly wasn't. Its eyes were closed, but its head was moving back and forth (probably smelling the food). "It's just not eating," I said, "That doesn't mean it's dead."
"Uh huh," she insisted.
"You sure?" I picked it up to show her that its legs moved. I set it down, demonstrating that while it was more lethargic than the others, it was clearly alive. "Why don't you look again?" I asked.
She looked closer. "Yep, it's dead."
Well, that irritated me, and I can't really say why. "Okay, thanks," I said, "I'll finish feeding them myself."
Today, I changed the water for the turtles. Sure enough, the damn thing was dead.
Rish
She went over to their habitat and said, "Uh oh. One of them is dead."
That was bad news, so I came over, but of the three turtles, two were swimming and the other was sitting on the rocks. "They're slower in the winter, just sleepy," I told her.
"Too bad," she said, "Poor dead turtle."
But it clearly wasn't. Its eyes were closed, but its head was moving back and forth (probably smelling the food). "It's just not eating," I said, "That doesn't mean it's dead."
"Uh huh," she insisted.
"You sure?" I picked it up to show her that its legs moved. I set it down, demonstrating that while it was more lethargic than the others, it was clearly alive. "Why don't you look again?" I asked.
She looked closer. "Yep, it's dead."
Well, that irritated me, and I can't really say why. "Okay, thanks," I said, "I'll finish feeding them myself."
Today, I changed the water for the turtles. Sure enough, the damn thing was dead.
Rish
January 3rd, 2008
Tyranist and I didn't have a Buffy Wednesday yesterday, and I suppose it was my fault. He had a funeral to go to, and my uncle invited me to go for a drive with him.
My uncle is divorced and has limited visitation with his five year old daughter. So, he gets to see her every other weekend, and got to have her the whole week between Boxing Day and New Years. But, his ex-wife lives six hours away, so twice (or occasionally thrice) a month, he drives down to be with his child, and drives back when he's done.
Because of the holidays, he actually got to have his daughter here, and on the 2nd, was driving her back, planning to turn right around when he was done, and doing the whole thing in twelve or thirteen hours. I went along.
It was an interesting trip. Usually on road trips, I'm the one who drives, because I enjoy driving and I pretend it makes me a man. This was the first time I can remember where I was just a passenger, looking at the scenery go by, watching the road, occasionally reading (I'm nearly done with Joe Hill's "20th Century Ghosts," which I've really liked). My uncle, however, seemed to accomplish more than I did while driving, including taking care of his child, putting on movies for her, talking on the cellphone, and sending myriad text messages to his new girlfriend (soon-to-be fiance, he told me on the drive). On the way back, he put on a couple of DVDs, and we watched them through the night (our total trip was around fourteen hours).
I have NO IDEA how he could watch the road (and send a hundred bloody text messages) while watching GLADIATOR, but he is much more more multi-talented than I.
My uncle talked to me about life and his outlook on it, and complimented me on my writing and ability to survive for a while in Los Angeles, and talked about things I could not comprehend, such as investments and lawsuits and how my mother was before I came along and sports betting and how much fear governs our lives. I talked to him about things I understand, like the CG Oliver Reed and urinal cakes and John Lasseter and whether the "casting couch" is real and the differences between L.A. and the rest of the world.
The conversation was good. He talked about his dead brother and how he seemed to be comfortable with who he was, and how hard it is for people to do that. He talked about my father and how his generation thought it was weak to ever tell their kids they were proud of them or that they weren't absolutely worthless. He talked about my mother and how she has had a hard life yet somehow remains positive way more often than not. He talked about how to raise children and how so many parents try to be friends to their kids rather than parents to them. He also told me a funny tale about going scuba diving with a woman with breast implants that I'll probably stick in a story or script sometime.
But the real reason I thought I'd blog about this was the point of the whole trip. He had to drop his daughter off with her mother, and they met at a park, because his ex lives in a gated community and doesn't want my uncle going there.* As we were nearing the exit, he started trying to get his child excited about seeing her mother, pretending it was happy to pass her off.**
But once we let the girl go, he was quiet for a while. It seemed like a very difficult thing for him to have to say goodbye to his child and drive away.
My uncle and I immediately went to a sports bar and he put a bit of cash down on upcoming football games. That could be his way of drinking his pain away, or it could merely be fun for him, or both I suppose.
Anyway, I thought I'd say something about the feeling I got watching my uncle--who used to really be a hero to me, like Spider-man and Indy Jones and Josef Mengele--drop the child off when all he'd like to do is have her with him every day. I guess it was many feelings: I was proud of him, and jealous, and sad, and a little bit ashamed of myself, at the same time.
And the guy has to go through that all the time. I don't know if that's something I could do. Naturally, if anyone is reading this, they might be thinking, "What's the big deal? I have to do that every single day when I drop my kids off at school."
The big deal is, I don't have to. It's not something I'm too experienced with. And it was profound enough I wanted to talk about it.
They can't all be posts about me being a moron, folks.***
Rish
*I could go into this a bit, but it's mostly because my uncle has never met his ex's new husband and she's determined he never will.
**He told me his ex-wife made a show of the reunion because there was someone there to see it, and doesn't make the same effort to ease the transition. He commented that he does this so his daughter will not be sad when he leaves, apparently caring more for her welfare than he does for his own, or making the ex-wife out to be an ogre (of course, he also calls her "Satan" on occasion, and reveals a laundry list of underhanded things she does in the custodial tug-o-war).
***But wait, I forgot to tell you about the bets I made at the sportsbar, when I don't even have enough money for a dominatrix right now. See, there's fodder for another "Stupid Thing" post, maybe this weekend.
P.S. Turns out one of the teams I bet on won, and I more than doubled my money (thanks to my uncle who split the bet with me), so I didn't feel the need to beat myself up about it. This time.
My uncle is divorced and has limited visitation with his five year old daughter. So, he gets to see her every other weekend, and got to have her the whole week between Boxing Day and New Years. But, his ex-wife lives six hours away, so twice (or occasionally thrice) a month, he drives down to be with his child, and drives back when he's done.
Because of the holidays, he actually got to have his daughter here, and on the 2nd, was driving her back, planning to turn right around when he was done, and doing the whole thing in twelve or thirteen hours. I went along.
It was an interesting trip. Usually on road trips, I'm the one who drives, because I enjoy driving and I pretend it makes me a man. This was the first time I can remember where I was just a passenger, looking at the scenery go by, watching the road, occasionally reading (I'm nearly done with Joe Hill's "20th Century Ghosts," which I've really liked). My uncle, however, seemed to accomplish more than I did while driving, including taking care of his child, putting on movies for her, talking on the cellphone, and sending myriad text messages to his new girlfriend (soon-to-be fiance, he told me on the drive). On the way back, he put on a couple of DVDs, and we watched them through the night (our total trip was around fourteen hours).
I have NO IDEA how he could watch the road (and send a hundred bloody text messages) while watching GLADIATOR, but he is much more more multi-talented than I.
My uncle talked to me about life and his outlook on it, and complimented me on my writing and ability to survive for a while in Los Angeles, and talked about things I could not comprehend, such as investments and lawsuits and how my mother was before I came along and sports betting and how much fear governs our lives. I talked to him about things I understand, like the CG Oliver Reed and urinal cakes and John Lasseter and whether the "casting couch" is real and the differences between L.A. and the rest of the world.
The conversation was good. He talked about his dead brother and how he seemed to be comfortable with who he was, and how hard it is for people to do that. He talked about my father and how his generation thought it was weak to ever tell their kids they were proud of them or that they weren't absolutely worthless. He talked about my mother and how she has had a hard life yet somehow remains positive way more often than not. He talked about how to raise children and how so many parents try to be friends to their kids rather than parents to them. He also told me a funny tale about going scuba diving with a woman with breast implants that I'll probably stick in a story or script sometime.
But the real reason I thought I'd blog about this was the point of the whole trip. He had to drop his daughter off with her mother, and they met at a park, because his ex lives in a gated community and doesn't want my uncle going there.* As we were nearing the exit, he started trying to get his child excited about seeing her mother, pretending it was happy to pass her off.**
But once we let the girl go, he was quiet for a while. It seemed like a very difficult thing for him to have to say goodbye to his child and drive away.
My uncle and I immediately went to a sports bar and he put a bit of cash down on upcoming football games. That could be his way of drinking his pain away, or it could merely be fun for him, or both I suppose.
Anyway, I thought I'd say something about the feeling I got watching my uncle--who used to really be a hero to me, like Spider-man and Indy Jones and Josef Mengele--drop the child off when all he'd like to do is have her with him every day. I guess it was many feelings: I was proud of him, and jealous, and sad, and a little bit ashamed of myself, at the same time.
And the guy has to go through that all the time. I don't know if that's something I could do. Naturally, if anyone is reading this, they might be thinking, "What's the big deal? I have to do that every single day when I drop my kids off at school."
The big deal is, I don't have to. It's not something I'm too experienced with. And it was profound enough I wanted to talk about it.
They can't all be posts about me being a moron, folks.***
Rish
*I could go into this a bit, but it's mostly because my uncle has never met his ex's new husband and she's determined he never will.
**He told me his ex-wife made a show of the reunion because there was someone there to see it, and doesn't make the same effort to ease the transition. He commented that he does this so his daughter will not be sad when he leaves, apparently caring more for her welfare than he does for his own, or making the ex-wife out to be an ogre (of course, he also calls her "Satan" on occasion, and reveals a laundry list of underhanded things she does in the custodial tug-o-war).
***But wait, I forgot to tell you about the bets I made at the sportsbar, when I don't even have enough money for a dominatrix right now. See, there's fodder for another "Stupid Thing" post, maybe this weekend.
P.S. Turns out one of the teams I bet on won, and I more than doubled my money (thanks to my uncle who split the bet with me), so I didn't feel the need to beat myself up about it. This time.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Happy 2008, kids
1/1/08
A new year is upon us, and I pray Cthulhu it's better than the last one.
You know, I ought to make a Top Five for this momenteous occasion, like a Top Five New Year's Resolutions. Wow, that would kill two birds with one scone.
Okay, here goes . . .
Hmmm.
Rish's Top Five New Year's Resolutions
Let me see . . .
Hmmmmmmmm.
I don't know why I'm having such a hard time on this. I usually like resolutions, and love lists.
Okay, 1.
Nothing is coming.
1.
I try to obey, but it is difficult.
. . .
1. Make a Top Five of New Year's Resolutions.
Rish "Mr. '08" Outfield
A new year is upon us, and I pray Cthulhu it's better than the last one.
You know, I ought to make a Top Five for this momenteous occasion, like a Top Five New Year's Resolutions. Wow, that would kill two birds with one scone.
Okay, here goes . . .
Hmmm.
Rish's Top Five New Year's Resolutions
Let me see . . .
Hmmmmmmmm.
I don't know why I'm having such a hard time on this. I usually like resolutions, and love lists.
Okay, 1.
Nothing is coming.
1.
I try to obey, but it is difficult.
. . .
1. Make a Top Five of New Year's Resolutions.
Rish "Mr. '08" Outfield
Friday, December 28, 2007
Angel Wednesday (23 December)
To catch up for the extra "Buffy"s we saw the other night, we had lots of "Angel" watching to do this past visit. In the end, we couldn't have picked three better episodes to watch, as they turned out to be a nice little trilogy.
First up was "The Trial," written by Doug Petrie and Tim Minear. Angel is still all obsessed with Darla and Cordelia and Wesley are worried about him. He claims to have his mind on other things, but Gunn shows up with info on Darla's location, and Angel takes off to find her.
Before Angel gets there, Evillawyerdude Lindsay McDonald finds Darla and takes her back to Wolfram & Hart. Darla wears a crucifix around her neck in this episode. Now I gotta wonder why that is. Has she undergone some kind of religious conversion? Is it like Indy Jones getting a tattoo of a cobra on his arm? Is it simply fashionable? Or maybe it's like a dog tag, a reminder of what she's been through, what she used to be. Hey, I don't know, I don't even work here.
She is taken to Holland Manners, who tells her the disease that was killing her in the Seventeenth Century (tyranist kept referring to it as "consumption," which I find amusing even if I'm too dumb to know why) has returned. She has a very limited time left as a human being.
Like I said last time, with all we saw in the Darla and Spike origin episodes, we're in need of no more flashbacks ever again.
So of course, we get two here.
We go back to the Seventeen-hundreds, when Angelus is newly envamped, traveling across Europe with Darla. It looks romantic, but they have been too fearless, it seems, and are on the run from outraged mobs and vampire hunters. They hide in a barn and talk for a moment, but soon the mob has the barn surrounded, and guess what, they've got something to burn it with.
Angelus talks big about going out with a glorious battle, the two of them side by side . . . but when he turns around, Darla has gotten astride a horse and breaks free, leaving him to fend for himself.
Angel and Gunn, in the present, continue to look for Darla, checking out her now-empty motel. He's sure something bad has happened to her.
The Darla in question goes to a bar alone and flirts with a really dim vampire. Try as she might, she can't get this guy to turn her into one, even though she practically throws herself at him. She does convince him to go out to the alley with her, but before he can bite her (if he ever would have), Angel appears and stakes the guy.
She blames him for being there, explaining that she is dying, and wouldn't be if he had just turned her when she first asked him to. Or the second time. Or the third.
Angel is suspicious that she has been lied to about her condition (after all, she still looks hotter than she ever did in the previous five seasons of "Buf-gel"), and takes her to Angel Investigations to hide out. Angel goes out into the night to find out the truth.
He first goes to Evillawyerdude Lindsay's place and is surprised when Lindsay invites him in. He too was suspicious and had a second, third, and fourth opinion brought in. They all declare her terminally ill, and he too asks Angel to reconsider turning her into a vampire again to spare her from suffering. Lindsay is a really complex character.
Angel takes Darla to the demon karaoke bar, and makes her sing a song. She's actually quite good, and that ticks me off, but what the hey. Lorne looks into her soul and confirms that she's dying. He says there is one way Angel could save her, though. He sends them both to a location with an empty swimming pool. Angel dives in and finds himself in some other realm where he is to be tested.
He has to pass three trials and if he does, Darla will be spared. She is allowed to watch the trials, which apparently, no one has ever survived.
First Angel has to take his shirt off and fight a big demon with a sword. Eventually, he manages to take the sword away and cut the demon in half with it, but it sticks itself together and comes at him again. In the end, he slices it in two and chains the halves up, preventing them from reuniting. Nice.
Angel's second task is to get out of a locked chamber where the
floor is covered with crosses. I didn't mention that aside from his shirt, he had to take his shoes and socks off as well. Angel has to cross the room, burning his feet with the crosses, and finds the key to escape in a big vat of holy water. He plunges his arm in and retrieves the key.
For the third test, Angel is manacled in a room with stakes all over the walls. He is told that the third trial is whether he will give his life for Darla. He seems willing, but the question is put forth: wouldn't the world be better with honourable Angel in it than a healed, amoral Darla? If he chooses, he can go free, and she will perish quickly and painlessly.
In the end, Angel offers to die for Darla, and zip bang zap!, he's back in the real world with Darla at his side. Of course, that was the trial, wasn't it?
He has passed all three.
Unfortunately, when the time comes for Darla to be healed, we find out she's already been supernaturally brought back from the dead once, and you only get one. Nothing more can be done for her.
Well, Angel has something of a fit, punching the walls and destroying things around him.* He really did get a raw deal (the guy's sore and burned and battered and seared, and his hair is a little bit mussed on the left side). They go back to Darla's place (can vampires get syphilis?), and in his despair, he offers to bite Darla and turn her back.
She adamantly refuses, having come to an understanding of what it is to be truly human (or to truly have a soul) and is content now that she knows how much Angel cares for her. She was supposed to have died this way centuries ago, and is willing to accept it as justice, as long as he's with her in the end. Quite nice, really.
But suddenly, a bunch of dudes burst into the room, zapping Angel with a taser, and in walks Lindsay. He is disgusted that Angel wouldn't save Darla, so he's brought someone with him: Drusilla. Crazy and evil, she walks over and bites Darla, then cuts herself so Darla can drink from her as well. The end.
I guess I should have expected it, but nicely, the episode did not begin with "And Juliet Landau as Drusilla" to spoil the surprise, as Buffy always does.
Yep, that's the second time I've proclaimed something about "Angel" better than "Buffy," but I promise I won't do it again. At least this year.
A great one, this was, in most ways. These episodic shows are designed to be unsatisfying, but this one really, really was. We quickly watched the next one, but I can't help but wonder what happened to Angelus when he was trapped by the vampire hunter and Darla abandoned him. I don't remember for sure, but Darla may even have knocked him unconscious before she left, so how he got out of that, I've no clue.
The next "Angel" episode did answer a lot of questions (though not that one). It was called "Reunion," and was written by Tim Minear and Shawn Ryan (Ryan being the guy who went on to create "The Shield").
It picks up not long after the last episode. Gunn brings Angel back to Angel Investigations, bruised and beaten. He tells them what happened and vows to stake Darla before she rises as a soulless bloodsucker.
Speaking of lawyers, Manners is having a big wine-tasting party at his home. Before then, though, he tells Drusilla to take Darla out and kill a bunch of people. You know, for old times' sake.
Angel figures Drusilla would've been traditional and bury Darla somewhere under the stars. I'm not exactly sure how Angel finds her, but she's been buried on a rooftop garden in the city. No stars are visible in the middle of L.A., but alright.
Angel is about to stake her when Drusilla attacks him with a shovel. While they're struggling, Darla comes out of the ground. She jumps off the building (seemingly confused), and Drusilla follows her. Angel gets his crew together and they all go to Wolfram & Hart to take the bad guys down.
Darla isn't as pleased as we'd guess about being a vampire again, and yells at Drusilla. Drusilla tries to explain why she did it, calling Darla "Grandmother" a few times. Eventually, Darla drinks a human's blood, and it puts her back to where she used to be. She and Drusilla decide to go shopping.
Cordelia has a vision, but Angel doesn't want to hear about it. He very nearly abandons the subject of her vision to torment and death, but reluctantly relents. He leaves the others attending to the rescued man, then speeds back after Darla by himself.
The two vampire women are around town, killing salespeople and (hopefully) meter maids, trying on clothes, and doing other girl things.
Angel storms into Wolfram & Hart and is immediately arrested. He tells Manners that Darla and Drusilla are going to kill people, but Manners tells him he doesn't care. When Angel gets loaded into the cop car, guess who is there?
No, not her, it's Policewomanofficer Kate Lockley. She is still abrupt, but seems to have thawed a couple of degrees toward Angel. She knows that she doesn't have a chance at stopping Drusilla & Darla, so she lets Angel go to do just that.
He goes to the crime scene and finds a survivor hiding in a dressing room. She tells him what she overheard the vampires saying, and where they were going next.
So, Holland Manners is throwing a nice old party in his wine cellar, when suddenly, Darla and Drusilla arrive. It seems Manners's wife invited them in, and paid for it with her life. Soon, all the party guests are going to join her.
Manners tries to convince Darla that they helped her out before, and are on her side. Friends, even. Darla tells him that she senses fear in them. In everybody there, except for Lindsay.
Angel gets to the door and finds Manners's wife dying on the floor. She invites Angel in too. Angel goes to the wine cellar and Manners and company are sure glad to see him there. Angel shrugs and backs away. Holland Manners pleads that Darla and Drusilla are going to kill them, but Angel tells him he doesn't care. He locks them in together and leaves. I believe that Manners and our story have parted ways permanently.
Back at Angel Investigations, Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn seem less than pleased about this little turn of events. They tell Angel their concerns and he tells them they're fired. The end.
Not bad. Really, really dark, but not bad. I'm quite enjoying the show, even though it doesn't show in my blog. I'm just struggling with this post, which is now more than a week overdue.
You know what? I think I'll just leave it at this, and come back to the last "Angel" episode when I'm feeling winter fresh.
Or maybe spearmint.
Rish Eustice Outfield
*I once did something similar when my roommate John asked me to go Country Dancing with him.
First up was "The Trial," written by Doug Petrie and Tim Minear. Angel is still all obsessed with Darla and Cordelia and Wesley are worried about him. He claims to have his mind on other things, but Gunn shows up with info on Darla's location, and Angel takes off to find her.
Before Angel gets there, Evillawyerdude Lindsay McDonald finds Darla and takes her back to Wolfram & Hart. Darla wears a crucifix around her neck in this episode. Now I gotta wonder why that is. Has she undergone some kind of religious conversion? Is it like Indy Jones getting a tattoo of a cobra on his arm? Is it simply fashionable? Or maybe it's like a dog tag, a reminder of what she's been through, what she used to be. Hey, I don't know, I don't even work here.
She is taken to Holland Manners, who tells her the disease that was killing her in the Seventeenth Century (tyranist kept referring to it as "consumption," which I find amusing even if I'm too dumb to know why) has returned. She has a very limited time left as a human being.
Like I said last time, with all we saw in the Darla and Spike origin episodes, we're in need of no more flashbacks ever again.
So of course, we get two here.
We go back to the Seventeen-hundreds, when Angelus is newly envamped, traveling across Europe with Darla. It looks romantic, but they have been too fearless, it seems, and are on the run from outraged mobs and vampire hunters. They hide in a barn and talk for a moment, but soon the mob has the barn surrounded, and guess what, they've got something to burn it with.
Angelus talks big about going out with a glorious battle, the two of them side by side . . . but when he turns around, Darla has gotten astride a horse and breaks free, leaving him to fend for himself.
Angel and Gunn, in the present, continue to look for Darla, checking out her now-empty motel. He's sure something bad has happened to her.
The Darla in question goes to a bar alone and flirts with a really dim vampire. Try as she might, she can't get this guy to turn her into one, even though she practically throws herself at him. She does convince him to go out to the alley with her, but before he can bite her (if he ever would have), Angel appears and stakes the guy.
She blames him for being there, explaining that she is dying, and wouldn't be if he had just turned her when she first asked him to. Or the second time. Or the third.
Angel is suspicious that she has been lied to about her condition (after all, she still looks hotter than she ever did in the previous five seasons of "Buf-gel"), and takes her to Angel Investigations to hide out. Angel goes out into the night to find out the truth.
He first goes to Evillawyerdude Lindsay's place and is surprised when Lindsay invites him in. He too was suspicious and had a second, third, and fourth opinion brought in. They all declare her terminally ill, and he too asks Angel to reconsider turning her into a vampire again to spare her from suffering. Lindsay is a really complex character.
Angel takes Darla to the demon karaoke bar, and makes her sing a song. She's actually quite good, and that ticks me off, but what the hey. Lorne looks into her soul and confirms that she's dying. He says there is one way Angel could save her, though. He sends them both to a location with an empty swimming pool. Angel dives in and finds himself in some other realm where he is to be tested.
He has to pass three trials and if he does, Darla will be spared. She is allowed to watch the trials, which apparently, no one has ever survived.
First Angel has to take his shirt off and fight a big demon with a sword. Eventually, he manages to take the sword away and cut the demon in half with it, but it sticks itself together and comes at him again. In the end, he slices it in two and chains the halves up, preventing them from reuniting. Nice.
Angel's second task is to get out of a locked chamber where the
floor is covered with crosses. I didn't mention that aside from his shirt, he had to take his shoes and socks off as well. Angel has to cross the room, burning his feet with the crosses, and finds the key to escape in a big vat of holy water. He plunges his arm in and retrieves the key.
For the third test, Angel is manacled in a room with stakes all over the walls. He is told that the third trial is whether he will give his life for Darla. He seems willing, but the question is put forth: wouldn't the world be better with honourable Angel in it than a healed, amoral Darla? If he chooses, he can go free, and she will perish quickly and painlessly.
In the end, Angel offers to die for Darla, and zip bang zap!, he's back in the real world with Darla at his side. Of course, that was the trial, wasn't it?
He has passed all three.
Unfortunately, when the time comes for Darla to be healed, we find out she's already been supernaturally brought back from the dead once, and you only get one. Nothing more can be done for her.
Well, Angel has something of a fit, punching the walls and destroying things around him.* He really did get a raw deal (the guy's sore and burned and battered and seared, and his hair is a little bit mussed on the left side). They go back to Darla's place (can vampires get syphilis?), and in his despair, he offers to bite Darla and turn her back.
She adamantly refuses, having come to an understanding of what it is to be truly human (or to truly have a soul) and is content now that she knows how much Angel cares for her. She was supposed to have died this way centuries ago, and is willing to accept it as justice, as long as he's with her in the end. Quite nice, really.
But suddenly, a bunch of dudes burst into the room, zapping Angel with a taser, and in walks Lindsay. He is disgusted that Angel wouldn't save Darla, so he's brought someone with him: Drusilla. Crazy and evil, she walks over and bites Darla, then cuts herself so Darla can drink from her as well. The end.
I guess I should have expected it, but nicely, the episode did not begin with "And Juliet Landau as Drusilla" to spoil the surprise, as Buffy always does.
Yep, that's the second time I've proclaimed something about "Angel" better than "Buffy," but I promise I won't do it again. At least this year.
A great one, this was, in most ways. These episodic shows are designed to be unsatisfying, but this one really, really was. We quickly watched the next one, but I can't help but wonder what happened to Angelus when he was trapped by the vampire hunter and Darla abandoned him. I don't remember for sure, but Darla may even have knocked him unconscious before she left, so how he got out of that, I've no clue.
The next "Angel" episode did answer a lot of questions (though not that one). It was called "Reunion," and was written by Tim Minear and Shawn Ryan (Ryan being the guy who went on to create "The Shield").
It picks up not long after the last episode. Gunn brings Angel back to Angel Investigations, bruised and beaten. He tells them what happened and vows to stake Darla before she rises as a soulless bloodsucker.
Speaking of lawyers, Manners is having a big wine-tasting party at his home. Before then, though, he tells Drusilla to take Darla out and kill a bunch of people. You know, for old times' sake.
Angel figures Drusilla would've been traditional and bury Darla somewhere under the stars. I'm not exactly sure how Angel finds her, but she's been buried on a rooftop garden in the city. No stars are visible in the middle of L.A., but alright.
Angel is about to stake her when Drusilla attacks him with a shovel. While they're struggling, Darla comes out of the ground. She jumps off the building (seemingly confused), and Drusilla follows her. Angel gets his crew together and they all go to Wolfram & Hart to take the bad guys down.
Darla isn't as pleased as we'd guess about being a vampire again, and yells at Drusilla. Drusilla tries to explain why she did it, calling Darla "Grandmother" a few times. Eventually, Darla drinks a human's blood, and it puts her back to where she used to be. She and Drusilla decide to go shopping.
Cordelia has a vision, but Angel doesn't want to hear about it. He very nearly abandons the subject of her vision to torment and death, but reluctantly relents. He leaves the others attending to the rescued man, then speeds back after Darla by himself.
The two vampire women are around town, killing salespeople and (hopefully) meter maids, trying on clothes, and doing other girl things.
Angel storms into Wolfram & Hart and is immediately arrested. He tells Manners that Darla and Drusilla are going to kill people, but Manners tells him he doesn't care. When Angel gets loaded into the cop car, guess who is there?
No, not her, it's Policewomanofficer Kate Lockley. She is still abrupt, but seems to have thawed a couple of degrees toward Angel. She knows that she doesn't have a chance at stopping Drusilla & Darla, so she lets Angel go to do just that.
He goes to the crime scene and finds a survivor hiding in a dressing room. She tells him what she overheard the vampires saying, and where they were going next.
So, Holland Manners is throwing a nice old party in his wine cellar, when suddenly, Darla and Drusilla arrive. It seems Manners's wife invited them in, and paid for it with her life. Soon, all the party guests are going to join her.
Manners tries to convince Darla that they helped her out before, and are on her side. Friends, even. Darla tells him that she senses fear in them. In everybody there, except for Lindsay.
Angel gets to the door and finds Manners's wife dying on the floor. She invites Angel in too. Angel goes to the wine cellar and Manners and company are sure glad to see him there. Angel shrugs and backs away. Holland Manners pleads that Darla and Drusilla are going to kill them, but Angel tells him he doesn't care. He locks them in together and leaves. I believe that Manners and our story have parted ways permanently.
Back at Angel Investigations, Wesley, Cordelia, and Gunn seem less than pleased about this little turn of events. They tell Angel their concerns and he tells them they're fired. The end.
Not bad. Really, really dark, but not bad. I'm quite enjoying the show, even though it doesn't show in my blog. I'm just struggling with this post, which is now more than a week overdue.
You know what? I think I'll just leave it at this, and come back to the last "Angel" episode when I'm feeling winter fresh.
Or maybe spearmint.
Rish Eustice Outfield
*I once did something similar when my roommate John asked me to go Country Dancing with him.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Happy Holidays
"You don't have to say you love me,
I know that that's not true;
But 'Merry Christmas,' 'Merry Christmas' will do."
Material Issue
Stupid Thing of the Week
24 December 2007
I was at my friend Merrill's house last night and he had built a dollhouse for his daughter for Christmas (okay, his wife had actually built it, but she wears the pants). It was a gift from Santa, so they could only work on it at night.
While Merrill and I were watching HOT FUZZ, his wife was painting the dollhouse, then went to bed. But she set the alarm for six am so she could get up and move the now-dry dollhouse into the garage before the kids got up and discovered it. After the movie, I felt bad that Merrill's woman would have to get up so early (I'd rather not go to bed at all than have to get up at six), so I suggested the two of us move the dollhouse to the garage that night. After all, in an hour and a half, the paint was certainly dry.
So, we lifted it, carefully moving it through the house and out into the garage. It was so heavy that, unless Merrill's wife is stronger than me (which I admit is a possibility), I don't know how they'd have lugged it around together. When we sat it down in the garage, I discovered that some of the paint had indeed not dried, and that I'd gotten paint all over my hand, sleeve, shoe, and smudged some of the edges where Mrs. Merrill had carefully detailed.
Rish "The Anti-Santa" Outfield
I was at my friend Merrill's house last night and he had built a dollhouse for his daughter for Christmas (okay, his wife had actually built it, but she wears the pants). It was a gift from Santa, so they could only work on it at night.
While Merrill and I were watching HOT FUZZ, his wife was painting the dollhouse, then went to bed. But she set the alarm for six am so she could get up and move the now-dry dollhouse into the garage before the kids got up and discovered it. After the movie, I felt bad that Merrill's woman would have to get up so early (I'd rather not go to bed at all than have to get up at six), so I suggested the two of us move the dollhouse to the garage that night. After all, in an hour and a half, the paint was certainly dry.
So, we lifted it, carefully moving it through the house and out into the garage. It was so heavy that, unless Merrill's wife is stronger than me (which I admit is a possibility), I don't know how they'd have lugged it around together. When we sat it down in the garage, I discovered that some of the paint had indeed not dried, and that I'd gotten paint all over my hand, sleeve, shoe, and smudged some of the edges where Mrs. Merrill had carefully detailed.
Rish "The Anti-Santa" Outfield
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