Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Dumps

Feelin' a little gloomy today. Okay, a lot gloomy. I'm good with impressions, quick with a movie reference, not a bad typist, but if there's one thing I do best of all . . . it's feel sorry for myself.

It's raining outside, and it was still turn-on-bedroom-light dark at noon today, so maybe that's got something to do with it. Loneliness can lay claim on the rest. Had a funny conversation with a girl yesterday, and I look back on my worthless, wasted past with the regret of a good Country song.

Ho hum. I wonder what other people do when they're depressed?

There's the bottle, sure. A lot of folks go there. And sad, pain-expressing music is nice too.

Popped in "Creep" and sang along. It makes me feel like I'm not alone in my misery. Thanks, Mr. Radiohead.

Maybe doing something productive would brighten me up. So I worked a bit on the next episode. I got to the end and felt emptier than ever.

I also did some running on the treadmill. I figured feeling like I was going to die would help me appreciate being alive. Nope. If anything, it reminded me that I'm fat and will pass into death unmourned and unloved.

Lastly, I'm thinking I'll try to do a little writing. I think a real writer would just pour himself into his work, and try and find an outlet for his depression in the fantasy world and characters he had created. Let one of them feel what he feels, let another character try and understand it, let a third character appear and change it all. Might be nice.

Well, the night will pass and tomorrow I gotta do it all again. Maybe with snow, it'll all seem different.

Rish "Mister Brightstide" Outfield

1 comment:

  1. From your favorite girl to cheer you up.

    Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
    Drifting through the wind
    Wanting to start again

    Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
    Like a house of cards
    One blow from caving in

    Do you ever feel already buried deep
    Six feet under scream
    But no one seems to hear a thing

    Do you know that there's still a chance for you
    Cause there's a spark in you

    You just gotta ignite the light
    And let it shine
    Just own the night
    Like the Fourth of July

    Cause baby you're a firework
    Come on show 'em what you're worth
    Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
    As you shoot across the sky-y-y

    Baby you're a firework
    Come on let your colors burst
    Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
    You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

    You don't have to feel like a waste of space
    You're original, cannot be replaced
    If you only knew what the future holds
    After a hurricane comes a rainbow

    Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
    So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road

    Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
    And when it's time, you'll know

    You just gotta ignite the light
    And let it shine
    Just own the night
    Like the Fourth of July

    Cause baby you're a firework
    Come on show 'em what you're worth
    Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
    As you shoot across the sky-y-y

    Baby you're a firework
    Come on let your colors burst
    Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
    You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe"


    Boom, boom, boom
    Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
    It's always been inside of you, you, you
    And now it's time to let it through

    Cause baby you're a firework
    Come on show 'em what your worth
    Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
    As you shoot across the sky-y-y

    Baby you're a firework
    Come on let your colors burst
    Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
    You're gonna leave 'em all in awe-awe-awe

    Boom, boom, boom
    Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

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