Karaoke Smackdown

Big and I haven't done much podcasting lately, and the last time we talked, I told him I was bummed out about that, because I've been participating in a multi-tiered karaoke contest the last few weeks, and it would've been fun to give him an update every week on TGMG. Our two listeners could thrill to me describing the events of each night, what I sang, and if I was moving on to the next round.

But ah well, life's the thing that happens to you when you're out of toilet paper. Or something like that.

So, I somehow made it to the final round of this karaoke contest, despite getting sick and losing a lot of my voice last weekend (I figured they took pity on me and gave me points for giving it my all even when raspy. Either that, or I really am that good). The whole shebang was pretty fun, but somewhere in there (probably these last two rounds), it started become less about having a good time and singing a song and more about competition, about defeating the others, about being better-than.

I'm not good with that.

Nerves started to prod at me, I started to feel guilty for not practicing, and even found myself disappointed when it was all over and I wasn't one of the winners.*

It's weird, because I absolutely hate those bleeding hearts that say kids can't play Tag or Kootie or Tic-Tac-Toe because there might be a loser, you shouldn't pick teams 'cause someone might get their feelings hurt, or that it's wrong to keep score during Little League. Those same douchebags probably declare it unconstitutional to block cellphone signals in movie theaters, so the girl sitting next to us during HARRY POTTER wouldn't blind us every minute and a half sending or receiving text messages. Boo hoo.

A contradiction, it would seem, but there was definitely less a spirit of "You go, girl!" going on in the end, and more of a "You stay away from my man, ho."

Maybe that's the way of things, the way of the Force, but I don't know. There were a lot of competitors, and the way the contest was structured, it was difficult to prepare for. For this round, we got to pick our category (Rock, Country, R&B, or Alternative), then we had to draw a number out of a hat on our turn. That number corresponded to a song that we had to then sing, with no practice or preamble. Or do-overs. You know it's rough when you see a fifty-year old dude singing "Little Lies" by Fleetwood Mac, or a smalltown librarian singing "Cum On Feel the Noize." People, however (for the most part), were really supportive, and complimentary of my singing, so that's cool.

One of the actual winners of the night is a guy I've always liked, both in song choices and personality. I and my female companion chatted him up for a moment during the show, when he got there a couple hours into the program (turns out he's an actual musician and arrived late because of a gig with his band). He leaned in and told her, "Hey, you're way cute," then leaned back out and said, "Hey, you two aren't married or together or anything, are you?" It struck me as both a Han Solo smooth and Southern California dickish thing to do, and I'll be honest and admit I was relieved when he went home with the woman who won Second Place at the end of the evening.

Now that it's over, I can't help but scrutinize my own performance on Friday night, and that's another aspect of competition that's just no fun. There's one last round of the finals I'm all worried about, but I can't come up with a song that's a) popular enough and b) one within my singing range to guarantee me a place in the winner's circle. I'll keep thinking about it, though. Wish me luck.

Rish "El Perdedor" Outfield

*You'd think I'd be used to that, huh?